


Let You Love Me

by fullmetalscully



Series: Let You Love Me [1]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, F/M, Family, Family Drama, Family Dynamics, Fluff, Humor, Modern AU, Original Characters - Freeform, Royai - Freeform, Royai kid, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-07-28 09:16:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 145,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16238654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullmetalscully/pseuds/fullmetalscully
Summary: Modern AU. Roy Mustang moves in next door to Riza Hawkeye. Antics and shenanigans ensue as both Riza and her son develop a budding friendship with their new neighbour. An exploration of their relationship as it blossoms and grows. Fluff, humour, romance, and angst (of course!)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I'm back with another fic. I have had this idea since 2016 and only started writing it in July this year. It has always been a story I wanted to cover, but I didn't think I was a good enough writer when I first came up with the idea :'D  
> I wanted to wait until it was complete to share it with you all, but I am sitting at fourteen chapters and I think there will only be sixteen to eighteen in total anyway. So I am posting this now to get a feel of what you guys think! Updates will be quick until I run out of chapters, possibly twice or three times a week.  
> There is humour, romance, fluff, and (of course ;)) angst ahead!  
> I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think!

Roy Mustang knocked on the apartment door and waited for the resident to open the door. He could faintly hear music and a muffled conversation on the other side. He glanced once more over to his own apartment door to the left of him. The door was propped open with a moving box. He was new to the building but didn’t know if he could trust anyone yet. Changing his mind, he walked back over and kicked the box back inside the door, letting it close in his face. Before it did, he grasped the piece of paper that still lay on the floor since he had officially moved in an hour ago.

As his door shut, the other opened and a woman’s head poked out the door frame, looking left and then right, towards him. She looked confused as to why there was a knock on her door, but no one there.

“Hi,” he greeted, his tone friendly. Still in front of his own door, he walked back across to her. She eyed him warily, closing the door slightly as he approached. She had every right to be cautious. Having lived in Central his whole life, he knew it was better to be safe than sorry when opening the door to a stranger.

“Hello,” she replied politely. He took in her features. Her blonde hair was long and feel past her shoulders. Her bangs swept to the left, some strands falling in front of her chocolate brown eyes. She looked to be in her mid to late twenties and she wore a look of cautious, as well as mildly frustrated. “Can I help you?”

“Yeah, I just moved in next door.” He held up the piece of paper he’d picked up. It was a delivery note describing the packages that had been sent to his apartment before he moved in were currently at this address. “I believe some of my belongings have been delivered here?”

The woman frowned for a moment, before realisation dawned on her. “Oh, yes! They’re here.” She opened the door and Roy spotted the delivery boxes in a room to the left of the hallway.

“Sorry,” he began his explanation. “My aunt sent over some of my things but there was a mix up with the move in date so I moved in later than expected. They’d already been sent before the mix up.”

“That’s all right,” she reassured him. Suddenly a wail came from within the apartment.

“Mum!” a childlike voice cried. “Where’s the peanut butter?”

“It’s in the fridge honey,” she replied, beginning to head for the room to the left.

“It’s not!” The cry was one of despair.

“For the love of,” she muttered to herself. She turned to Roy, gesturing for him to come inside. “Please, come in. Your boxes are in there. Help yourself.” She disappeared down the hall to speak to the child.

Roy was unsure what to do. The woman had told him to help himself, but it didn’t feel right to him to just wander through her apartment. As the front door closed behind him he thought how glad he was he had closed his apartment door.

The conversation between the mother and child continued in the kitchen.

“It’s right there,” the woman announced, her voice frustrated. “It was right in front of you, James.”

“I didn’t see it.”

“Here you go.” There was silence, followed by the sound of cutlery hitting a plate or bowl. “Now, _please_ be quick honey, we have to leave for school soon.”

“Okay!”

The room Roy was in was sparsely decorated, used mainly for storage. Camping equipment sat in one corner, an ironing board in the other, propped up against the wall. There was a set of large skis and small skis, indicating that was an activity mother and son shared together. He didn’t see a third set anywhere though. Various other random things were in the room, such as a washing basket, two tennis rackets, and a box labelled “childhood stuff”.

Roy turned his attention to his belongings, amused. On one of the boxes there were drawings that were clearly done by a child. He couldn’t make out some of them, but there were a few drawings of houses with stick people beside it. On another was an envelope taped to the top side and partially covering the delivery address. It read, “ _Welcome to your new home_ ”. Most likely, again, the child had written the message, and the card he assumed lay within it. The envelope was even complete with a smiley face and a drawing of a house.

“Ah,” the woman spoke. “Sorry about that box with the drawings. My son did it and I didn’t notice. If you were planning on keeping the boxes I’ll buy you another one.”

“That’s okay,” he reassured her. “It was really nice of him.”

The woman smiled, a relieved look on her face. Clearly she had been worried about his reaction. It was just a box. He had more than enough boxes in his apartment right now. “James was adamant about doing something though, so I finally talked him into writing you a card. Here, let me help you carry these through.”

“It’s all right,” he began. “If you’re busy getting your son ready for school I can manage.”

She waved away his concerns. “Regardless of my hurrying him along, he’ll always be late for school. That boy is on his own schedule.”

Roy chuckled and thanked her for her help. As she effortlessly lifted the first box he noticed her muscular frame. She clearly worked out. With ease she shifted the box to her right hand and she pulled open her front door, holding it open for him.

A couple of minutes later all the boxes had been moved. The pair were in the hall when a child’s head poked out the doorframe, like his mother had done about ten minutes ago.

“What are you doing, Mum?” he asked, his gaze flicking backwards and forwards between the two adults.

“This is the man who’s moving in next door,” she replied, gesturing towards him. She looked at him questioningly. “His name is…”

“Roy,” he interjected.

“My name’s James!” he announced, stepping into the all. He looked about seven or eight. The boy’s hair was blonde, like his mothers. It was long on top and combed over to the side. Placing them next to each other, you would definitely be able to tell they were related. The similarities between mother and son were uncanny. He looked very smart in his school uniform, complete with a black and red tie and a black blazer with a red trim. The school’s crest was on the left breast pocket. Roy noticed he went to a private school. Surprisingly, he noticed it was the same one he had attended as a kid. “That’s my Mum.” He pointed at the woman.

“Riza,” she replied, offering her hand out for a handshake. He took it in turn, offering them both a smile.

“Nice to meet you both.”

“I was helping him move his boxes through to his house.”

The boy’s eyes lit up. “Did you like my drawings? And the card?” he asked excitedly.

Roy chuckled at his enthusiasm. “I haven’t read the card yet, but the drawings are very nice. Thank you.”

“Can you open it now?”

“James,” Riza warned. “Roy’s busy right now, he’ll open it later. You need to get ready for school.”

His face fell, but his bright smile returned once more. “Okay! Let me know what you think!” He turned and ran back into the apartment.

Roy chuckled and Riza shook her head, but she was amused.

“Thank you for your help, I really appreciate it.”

“No problem.” She smiled before returning to her own apartment. She paused in the doorway. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. Welcome to the building.”

Roy nodded, thanking her once more. He returned to his own apartment, still amused at the interaction he had witnessed with the young boy. He walked down the hallway, shifting the boxes into his living room. The first door on the right situated a small room which he had decided would either be used as storage or a study, the latter being more likely. It was the same room his packages had been in in Riza’s apartment, just mirrored. He assumed the whole apartment was the same layout, just mirrored.

The second door on the right was at the end of the hall which led to the master bedroom, which had an en suite. His bed would be delivered later that day and while he waited he hoped to unpack as much as he could. Directly at the end of the hall was the kitchen and dining room. It was large in size, especially for an apartment in Central. With the money he paid for the apartment, it better have been. On the left side of the kitchen there was a small square dining table with four chairs around it. The living room was next to the kitchen. There was a door in the hallway leading to it, but there was also an open door frame leading to the kitchen as well. The doorway on the left of the hallway, closest to the door, led to another bedroom, and a main bathroom was next door to that one.

Each room was empty just now, save for the living room, where the majority of his belongings currently sat. Some boxes had spilled into the hallway. Roy stood in the middle of it all, wondering where to begin. He spotted the box with the envelope attached and he smiled to himself. He picked his way through the chaos and retrieved the envelope.

He grinned as he pulled the card out. There was a typical kid’s drawing of a house with a stick man standing next to it. A tree sat on the right while the sun had been drawn in the opposite corner. Opening it up, the message read, “ _Welcome to your new home_ ”, like the envelope, and it was signed with their names. The boy, James, had wrote his own name, the child like scrawl giving it away. However, it was clear his mother, Riza, had signed her own name, her writing incredibly neat.

Roy stood and walked towards the kitchen. The archway between the two rooms was large, about the size of two doors, and there was a half wall to the left with a small ledge. He placed the card on there. He would use it as motivation for unpacking, pleased that at least two people were happy about him moving in.

* * *

“James!” Riza called after her son as he practically ran into the school grounds. When he turned, she held up the lunch box he had forgotten in the car, which held his food for the day. He raced back, skidding to a stop in front of her.

“Thanks Mum!”

“Have a nice day honey.” She kissed the top of his head then watched him race off to find his friends.

“You too!” he yelled back to her. The kid was always going one hundred miles an hour. She smiled to herself as she watched him run, his school bag banging against his back, his lunch bag flying wildly. The other parents looked on in disapproval at how boisterous he was. Riza ignored them in return, beaming at her son.

She was used to that kind of behaviour. Private school hadn’t been her choice for her son at all, but her father insisted on it. Riza knew there was no arguing with him. She had done so in the past and it had concluded with unpleasant results. He was an alcoholic and when he was drunk he was angry. It made for a very difficult childhood. She tried her best to shield her son from it, but her father would always show up, unannounced, voicing his disapproval of her living here in Central. He would insist the pair of them move back in with him in his mansion outside East City. Riza would refuse and that was when the shouting started. However, Riza was nothing but a learner from experience. It had reached the point where she would keep a gun conveniently hidden in her living room, reserved for when her father got too aggressive. She would not let that bastard hurt her again. There was no way he was getting near her son either.

In order to keep the peace, and to stop another shouting match, Riza had agreed to private school. Berthold was paying for it, so she had no reason to complain. The parents and teachers were too stuck up and the majority of kids picked on her son for not having the flashiest gadgets or the most designer clothes. She would have been happier sending him to a public school, but there was nothing she could do about it now.

So, instead, she continued to grin as her boisterous son ran through the school grounds, hollering to his friends. They eagerly greeted him in return, all smiles. The sight made her happy.

It was her day off today and she was meeting her old friend, Rebecca Catalina, for lunch. Riza had a few hours before she had to leave for the train station to pick Rebecca up, so she returned home to do some housework.

As she passed her new neighbour’s apartment, she smiled at the interaction they had shared earlier on that morning. She had been unsure who she would get as a neighbour. The last guy had been a creep who had eventually been evicted, so Roy was definitely an improvement already. As long as he wasn’t a murderer, she would be happy.

Fondly, she recalled the memory of finding her son scrawling over one of Roy’s boxes.

_“What are you doing James?” Riza asked, finding her son on his knees on the floor. In his right hand he held three pens, all different colours, and in his left he was drawing with another colour all over the brown cardboard._

_“Drawing,” he replied simply, sticking his tongue out in concentration._

_“James, you can’t draw on these,” Riza replied, realising exactly what he was drawing on._

_He frowned, looking up from his handiwork. “Why not?”_

_“Because they’re not ours.” Riza had initially thought they were her own moving boxes. She still had old things stored in boxes in that room, mainly because she didn’t have anywhere to put them._

_“I know, they’re for the person moving in next door. I want to send them a nice message.”_

_Riza smiled at her son and his kindness, but not everyone would see it that way. “How about we make a card instead?” she offered. Riza knew he wouldn’t stop, so this was the next best thing. “Most people throw out their moving boxes once they’re done with them. They’re more likely to keep a card.”_

_His eyes lit up. He jumped up from his knees, pens clutched tightly in his excitement. “Okay! Let’s do it!”_

_“Okay,” Riza replied, pleased to have steered him away from his initial idea._

He was such a kind boy who always saw the good in everyone and everything. Riza hoped he would never lose that.

Speaking of her new neighbour, Roy chose that exact moment to step out of his apartment. His hands were full of folded up cardboard boxes. He juggled with them all as he tried to place his keys in the door and lock it.

“Need a hand?” she offered, peering around the mass of cardboard.

His gaze shot up at the sound of her voice and he smiled. “Please,” he replied, desperation in his voice.

Riza chuckled. “Here, let me.” She took half the stack from his hands, lightening the load.

“Thank you.” He locked the door behind him.

“Are you taking these to the waste room?” she asked.

Roy nodded. “Yeah. It’s only after I moved that I realised I have a lot of crap.”

“I hear you. Try doing it with a three year old.”

Roy shuddered. “I can only imagine. No, thank you.”

As the pair began to walk, she stole another look at her new neighbour. His black hair was long and tousled, his fringe falling over his eyes. The eyes themselves looked almost black, but she couldn’t tell in the artificial lighting of the building. He was a few inches taller than her and he had an athletic build. His face was handsome and his voice was pleasantly deep. “ _He’s an attractive dude,_ ” she smiled to herself, amused.

“How long have you lived in the building?” he asked conversationally. He pressed the button to call the elevator. The numbers rose on the LED display above the door, counting up to number seven. They were almost at the top of the apartment building and had a good view of the city skyline.

“For five years,” Riza replied, stepping inside with him. She watched as his finger hovered over the panel indicating the floor numbers. “The refuse room is on the first floor.” He pushed the button and the door closed.

“Thanks, I’m still trying to find my way around.” His smile was sheepish.

“That’s okay. Like I said, if you need anything, just ask.”

The pair made small talk during their trip, mainly discussing the weather, among other things. It was an unusually hot summer. Riza’s apartment had felt stuffy for the last week or so and they were all hoping for some rain or a storm to clear the air. She had bought a fan a few days ago and it had become their saviour.

“It was nice talking to you Roy,” she said politely, continuing to walk over to her own front door.

“Same to you, and thank you for the card,” he grinned. “That was very nice of you.”

Riza smiled. “I’ll let James know you said thanks, he’ll be thrilled. I’ll see you around.”

The door closed behind her and she found herself feeling better about her new neighbour. He was friendly and polite. They had shared a pleasant conversation on their travels to the refuse room and back. Roy seemed like a genuinely nice guy. He was attractive too, which was a nice bonus.

Placing her bag on the hook by the door, Riza busied herself with her work around her home. She wanted it to be all finished before she left for lunch so that when she left to collect James, the pair could have a free evening. Those nights were her favourites.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 2! I wanted to get this one out quick just to give you guys a little further insight about what this story is all about and (hopefully!) keep you interested xD  
> Just FYI: the chapters are going to be split up in a way so that half is from Roy's POV, the other half is from Riza's. I think the majority lead on from the other, but they won't always be. It won' t be a large gap in the story though, so don't worry!  
> Hope you enjoy it!

Roy let his apartment door close behind him. He glad to finally be home. It had been a long week at work. The week he had taken off as a holiday to move into his new home had ended up being their busiest and he was still trying to catch up with his work two months later. He hung his black overcoat on the hook to his right and tossed his rucksack onto the floor by the door, deciding to deal with it tomorrow. For the first time since he moved in he had no plans, no work to do, and nowhere to be, so Roy was looking forward to a nice quiet night in.

As he walked into his living area he smiled to himself, pleased with how everything had turned out. There was a corner couch in front of him, the point backed against the outer wall giving him a good view out of the window. The wall itself stuck out slightly behind the couch marking where a fireplace used to be. It was complete with a shelf about chest level. On top of it, sat two picture frames. One held a picture held a photo of himself with his foster mother, also known as his Aunt, Christine Mustang. The other was a photo of him with some of his oldest friends while they were on a camping trip up north. The other side of the couch stretched out towards him and it looked very welcoming after his long week. A television sat on an entertainment unit, facing away towards the piece of furniture. Behind it on the left was one window and to its right was another, but this one had a reading nook. It had incredibly humid these past few weeks so Roy was glad for that feature. He had come to enjoy sitting there with the window open, either reading a book or simply watching the world go by below him.

In the centre was a coffee table which currently had his mail tossed on top of it. There was a small bowl in the centre. Its purpose was to be hold fruit, but Roy had taken to throwing his spare change in there instead. It had been a busy month and he had told himself he “would sort it later”, but had yet to do anything with the money. The table itself sat at the perfect height for him to sit on the couch and still do work if he needed to. The table in the kitchen was just too small to have all his folders and paperwork scattered around his laptop.

Foregoing simply collapsing onto the couch, he turned and left the room, entering his bedroom. One box sat underneath the windowsill, still filled with belongings he was yet to unpack. In the centre of the room was a king size bed with a bedside table on each side. His alarm clock sat on the left side, next to a lamp. He preferred the left side of the bed. Roy wasn’t sure why, but he did. Probably because it was the side closest to the bathroom. Entering said room, he change out of his work clothes and had a quick shower. Roy felt infinitely better upon leaving the room, as if the water had washed away all of his stress of the week.

He flopped down onto his couch, switching the television on. As he flicked through the channels he pondered what he should do about dinner that evening. Getting food delivered was looking more and more appealing as his muscles relaxed. He was exhausted. Roy worked in Central Police Department. His degree had been in Criminology and Political Science. After a few years on the force he had worked his way up to becoming a detective, and a damn good one at that. He worked long hours, the work was demanding, but it was satisfying putting away all the criminals he had.

He dug his phone out of his pocket and ordered some Xingese food there and then. He deserved it after this week. He and his partner had spent the last three weeks chasing a drug dealer down and the case had finally been closed today.

As he put his phone down, it buzzed with an incoming text.

_Games tonight?_

Roy smirked. _Hell yeah._

_Awesome. I’m hopping on now._

Roy glanced around the room for his Xbox controller. He found it on top of the entertainment centre. His feet protested as he put weight on them, and he groaned as he reached for the controller before loading up the console. Donning a headset, he waited for the system to load up. An invitation popped up on his screen and he joined the party.

“Oh my god, my _feet_ ,” Jean Havoc groaned through the headset. “They’ve never been this sore before.”

Roy chuckled. “What’s wrong Havoc? You never done a hard day’s work before?” Roy stood once more and headed to his fridge, grabbing a beer.

“I most certainly have, I’ll have you know,” was his indignant reply. “I just didn’t prepare to stand for eight hours doing nothing waiting on that guy. You’d think criminals would be more considerate of my needs.”

“Sure man, whatever you say.”

“Anyway, how’s the new place? I kept meaning to ask you but, you know, we were busy.”

“It’s great. Nice, big, open space. It sure beats my old place at my Aunt’s.”

Before he moved into the building, Roy lived in his Aunt’s loft. Her house was joined onto her business, a restaurant and bar. The house itself was large, boasting five bedrooms with a loft conversion, complete with its own bathroom, living room, bedroom and kitchen. His place had essentially been part of a duplex, which made it slightly easier to live at home at his age. Apartments were expensive, especially in Central and especially for one person, but Roy knew what he wanted in a home so had aimed for the top. For six years he had saved every penny and had finally made it out. The sense of achievement alone was incredible. Being able to reap the fruits of his labour was an amazing feeling.

 Christine “Chris” Mustang was not only his adoptive mother, but a number of other children’s too. Once she had taken Roy in, she had stopped fostering new kids and focussed on him. That meant he grew up with a number of new siblings. As he grew older and reached secondary school age, Chris began fostering again and he stayed at home through university and his first few working years to help her look after them.

“Man, that place was so cool. Perfect bachelor pad. I often wonder why you’d ever want to leave somewhere like that.”

“It _was_ perfect, for a twenty-year-old. Or, you know, _you_.”

“Hey!” Havoc replied indignantly.

“I’m twenty-eight. I needed out of my Aunt’s loft.”

Havoc snorted. “Okay, old man.”

“I’m not that much older than you,” he reminded him.

“Whatever you say, old man.”

A knock on the door distracted him from the conversation. “Gotta go man, food’s here. Give me half an hour.”

“Sure thing.”

Roy muted the headset and left to attend to his visitor. He paid the delivery boy and gave him a generous tip. The teenager left with a thank you and a grin. Roy remembered being that age and living off tips. He was at a place in his life where he could afford to help him out, so if he could, he would. He had spent his whole life helping out other kids. There was no reason for him to stop now.

After dinner he settled in for the night, enjoying some time with Havoc. The pair didn’t usually have time to sit down like this, but it had become a tradition after they closed a case together. At around one in the morning Roy finally bid his farewell to Havoc.

“Are we still on for tomorrow?” Havoc asked after a yawn.

“Yeah. What time are you getting there?”

“We’ll be there around ten but come whenever. It’s going to be a whole day thing apparently. You don’t need to stay all day though, obviously.”

“No worries,” Roy yawned.

“Oh, and Mustang?”

“Yeah?”

“Dress nice.”

He wasn’t sure what that meant, but Havoc had disconnected before Roy could ask why. The other man’s tone held a hint of mischief, as if he knew something he didn’t. But Roy was too tired to care. Shrugging, he turned everything off. Exhausted, he collapsed into his bed and fell asleep.

* * *

Riza hummed to herself as she worked on preparing breakfast for herself and James. Music played in the background from the Bluetooth speaker. Riza controlled the music from her phone and skipped the current song, switching from a mellow tune to an upbeat one.

Buttering the toast, she made sure to do it just the way James liked it. There had to be enough butter that the whole slice of bread was covered, but there couldn’t be any lumps of butter otherwise he wouldn’t eat it. Riza reached for an apple, cutting it in half and then into slices. She put one half on her plate, the other on James’.

She was looking forward to the day ahead. They were planning on going to Central Park today for a picnic. Riza had agreed to meet Rebecca there. It would be nice to see her old friend again. It had been a while since their last lunch date, around a month ago. Rebecca was great with kids, so it would give Riza a small reprieve from James for a couple of hours. She loved that child with her whole heart, but she still needed a break.

“Morning sunshine,” she greeted cheerily as James entered the kitchen. He yawned and rubbed his eyes, having just woken up. Her son hopped up onto a chair at the dining table.

“Morning, Mum.” He yawned again. Loudly.

“What do we do when we yawn, James?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered, covering his mouth.

“Thank you. It’s only polite.” Riza placed the plate of food in front of him. Sight of the food perked him up a bit and he began to eat.

Riza checked the time. It was seven am. James had always been an early riser. Riza made sure to keep a good routine with him when he as at school and now it was the summer break that routine stayed. She was glad for that. It meant when he went back to school it wouldn’t be a fight to get him out of bed in the morning. Unfortunately, he got distracted easily so it was still a fight to get him out of the door on time and _to_ school. But he tried his best, he always told her.

“Are you looking forward to today?” she asked him, taking a sip of her tea.

He nodded excitedly. “Yeah! Aunt Becca said she’d teach me how to skate.”

“That will be exciting.”

“Yeah! She says Uncle Jean will help too but he’s not very good.”

Riza chuckled. “Did she now?”

“Are you any good at skating Mum?”

Riza shrugged. “I’ve never tried.”

“You should! We can do it today!”

“We’ll see. I don’t know if Aunt Becca has any skates that will fit me.”

James nodded his head in a rush. “She does! She has her own ones. I’m sure she will let you borrow them.”

“Okay, if they fit, we can learn together.”

James whooped, his legs kicking out underneath the table. In the process he kicked the table leg, causing everything on the table surface to shudder. He froze, and so did Riza, waiting for anything to spill. Nothing did, thankfully.

“Careful,” she scolded him half-heartedly, a smile already on her face.

“Sorry! I can’t wait for today! I’m going to get ready now.”

He was off in a dash, running to get changed with a slice of toast in his hand. Riza chuckled and shook her head after him. The boy was something else. His lust for life and excitement was contagious. Riza hoped he never lost it.

They pulled into the parking lot of the park an hour later. Riza exited the car and opened James’ door in the back. He unbuckled his seat belt and hopped out of the car. His gaze searched the park for his unofficial Aunt and Uncle, but they were nowhere to be seen yet.

“James?” Riza called from the back of the car, dragging his attention away from the busy grassland. “Can you come and help me with these?” He nodded and held out his arms. Riza handed him a picnic chair which was currently contained in its bag. He hoisted it under his arm, wobbling slightly with the shift in its weight. “Have you got it?” He nodded. “Will you manage this too?” She held out a picnic blanket. It was convenient in its design. It was folded up neatly with a piece of velcro near the handle to hold it in place.

“Yeah, I can take it.”

Riza nodded and offered him it. She herself took another chair, slinging it over her shoulder. In her left she carried another blanket under her arm and in her right she carried the cooler that had all their food.

Locking the car, Riza walked began to walk towards their agreed upon meeting place. There was a large oak tree near the car park where they would initially set up their picnic area. It was still early so that area was mostly empty, which Riza was thankful for. The oak would provide them with shade throughout the day and it was close to the concrete walkway that circled the park, so James could learn how to skate close by.

However, Riza hadn’t taken more than five steps before a piercing shriek filled the air.

“Aunt Becca!” he yelled, dropping everything he was carrying and racing towards the woman. Riza whipped around at the noise, her body alert. When she spotted Rebecca Catalina exiting a blue sedan, a huge grin on her face, Riza relaxed. Then her shoulders slumped as she spotted the pile of things James had left behind. Walking over, she began to pick it all up, resigned to being the one who would be carrying it all.

“Hey kiddo!” she greeted with a laugh, lifting her son into her arms. “Are you happy to see me?” Rebecca asked, although, from James’ reaction, the answer was obvious.

“Yeah! I haven’t see you in _ages_.”

“Sorry kid, I was busy working.”

“Did you take down any bad guys?” he asked, his face waiting expectantly to hear her answer. Rebecca was a police officer in East City. James was constantly impressed by this detail and always wanted to know about her work. Riza had been on track to join Rebecca, having completed her police academy training, but then James came along and her plans changed. Not that Riza minded at all. She wouldn’t trade her life for the world. The only reason she had left East City was so she was further away from her father.

“Of course.”

“Awesome,” he whispered in awe.

“Also, I think you have forgotten something, James.” Rebecca lowered him to the ground. She waved to Riza in greeting. The blonde couldn’t wave back because she was laden down with everything, but smiled at the brunette.

Rebecca Catalina was a woman who exuded confidence. She was bubbly, outgoing, and could talk to anyone about anything. Her brown hair was tied up in a ponytail, her usual style, and it bobbed whenever she moved.

“Huh?” Rebecca gestured to his mother, who was approaching them. “Oh, right!” The boy sprinted back over to Riza. “Sorry, Mum! I got excited.”

“I know James,” Riza replied, smiling fondly at her son. Yes, it was a pain sometimes picking up after him, but Riza was happy to do it. To be perfectly honest, she would be happy to do anything for the boy.

“Here, let me take this too,” he offered. He took back his chair and picnic blanket, then reached out to take the other blanket that had been in Riza’s left hand. He stuck his tongue out in concentration as he tried to juggle everything in his hands.

“It’s okay James, I’ll take that,” Riza reassured him, reaching to take back the blanket.

“No, Mum, I’ll take it.” His tone was determined. Riza and Rebecca shared an amused look. “Sorry for dropping everything. There,” he announced, finally getting a hold on everything. He beamed at the two woman proudly.

“I’m impressed,” Riza remarked.

“Yeah, you must be very strong James,” Rebecca joined in, giving him a wink. His grin widened. “Why don’t you make a start over to the oak and your mum and I will follow close behind.”

“Okay!” He tried to run over, but the chair in his hands slipped down his shoulder, hitting the ground. He hoisted it back up, determined to show them both how strong he was. Gripping everything tightly, he continued on his way, but at a slower pace this time.

“How have you been?” Rebecca asked, moving to the trunk of her car. She unpacked her own belongings, slamming it closed behind her. The pair began to follow behind James but at a slower pace. The oak wasn’t far from the car park and Riza had kept a close eye on him while she waited on Rebecca. He had begun to wrestle with the blankets, trying his best to lay them out flat, but a breeze kept catching a corner and flipping it up.

“I’m good. So is he,” she added, jerking her head in her son’s direction. “I’ve just been working, really. Nothing new to report.”

Rebecca caught the double meaning behind her words. The brunette knew all about Riza’s father. Rebecca had been present one time he decided to show up at her apartment and she had to flash her badge at him to get the man to back down and leave.

“That’s good, I’m glad. Remember, when I move, if you need anything don’t hesitate to call.”

“Thanks Bec.” Riza quietened for a moment. “I just wish it hadn’t come to this at all.”

“It’s not your fault Riza,” Rebecca stressed. “You can’t blame yourself for his behaviour.”

“He got worse after we left though.”

“That might be true, but he’s an adult, he made a choice to do that. Don’t blame yourself for it. You left because he was a threat to not only you, but your son, and I respect the hell out of you for doing that.”

Riza nodded, but wasn’t convinced. Maybe if she had stayed she could have reigned her father in somewhat. After losing her mother the man turned to drink. When he found out she was pregnant, Riza thought it would be different, but it was the opposite. He cursed her every name under the sun, calling her a whore and banished her from his house. She had only been nineteen. Riza had moved in Rebecca after that.

The brunette had been her saviour, both in general and throughout her pregnancy. James’ father bolted after the news, seemingly disappearing off the face of the earth and apparently wanted nothing to do with Riza or his child. And that was fine. That was what Riza had told herself. But the stress of that news and the incident with her father led to a difficult pregnancy.

“What about you?” Riza asked, steering the conversation to happier territory. “When do you move to Central?” Riza was excited at the prospect. Although Rebecca lived in East City, they each made a point to meet up about once a month, work permitting. It would be nice to see her friend more often than once a month.

“I move in a month,” she grinned. “I’ve just got my notice left to work. Then, while the transfer goes through, I have a week off before I start at Central PD.”

Riza butted the brunette’s shoulder with hers. “It’ll be great having you here. I haven’t told James yet, I thought I would leave you with that honour.”

“He’s going to lose his shit,” Rebecca chuckled.

Riza laughed. “He will. Sometimes, I wonder who his mother is. He’s more excited to see you than me.”

“That’s because I’m fun Aunt Becca,” she winked.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is so nice writing a fic that is actually happy and cheery xD I definitely need to do this more often. Writing these two dorks in a happy story is so much fun!  
> Hope you enjoy!

Roy pulled into the busy car park of Central Park. Havoc had told him to meet him at an old oak near it, but as he drove around he noticed with dismay that he may not find a space nearby. He peered through his sunglasses, desperate to see a space or at least someone returning to their car. He made another circuit before he saw somebody at their vehicle. He motioned with his hands, asking if they were leaving. The man nodded, giving him a thumbs up before ushering his family into the car as quickly as he could. A minute later they pulled out and Roy waved his thanks.

The sun was high in the sky at this point, causing Roy to squint through his sunglasses to try and spot Havoc. The park was teeming with people. Families were dotted around the large grassy area. Everyone seemed to have the same idea and came here for a picnic today.

He had woke up late after last night, his body succumbing to exhaustion he had felt after work that week. Catching bad guys was no joke. His body felt like it had been wired for about a week after being on high alert while attending various crime scenes and interviewing witnesses and suspects. When the final chase came he had been pursuing the man on pure adrenaline. Then, of course, came all the paperwork afterwards. This was a big case, especially for him and Havoc. There had been talk of promotion because of it, but it was merely a rumour. He didn’t get his hopes up.

Grabbing his coffee cup, he began to stroll over to the oak. He spotted three groups of people underneath it, each apparently having a similar idea. Finally spotting Havoc, he waved to his partner. There were two woman sitting with him, one he recognised as Rebecca Catalina. He didn’t know the other woman though. Her back was to him.

“Hey, Mustang,” Havoc greeted, lifting his drink towards his partner. He was currently lounging on a picnic chair. He was dressed ready for summer. His sunglasses rested atop his head, since they were in the shade. He wore a t-shirt, shorts, and flip flops. Roy only hoped he didn’t drive here in them. Havoc was a bad enough driver as it was, never mind the addition of poor footwear.

The two woman turned around. Catalina offered her own greeting, and the other woman smiled politely at him. He realised, with a start, it was his neighbour.

“Hello neighbour,” he greeted, taking a seat in a chair next to Havoc. Boy did it feel good to sit once more. He sighed quietly in relief as the pressure was off his aching feet.

“Neighbour?” Catalina questioned.

“Yeah. Riza’s my neighbour, we live next door to each other,” he explained, gesturing the woman sitting cross legged on the picnic blanket.

“No shit,” Havoc replied, surprised. He shot Catalina a look which seemed far too suspicious for his liking. This better not have been some kind of setup. They had pulled this off in the past and Roy was never please. He raised his coffee to his lips, taking a drink and ignoring their silent interaction.

Before the conversation could continue, Riza’s son came bounding over. He skidded to a halt in front of his mother, a frown on his face. He looked thoroughly confused as he stared at Roy.

“Hey, James,” he greeted. He had been on good terms with the small family since moving in. Roy left for work in the morning at the same time they left for school, so they had shared more than a few elevator rides together. He wouldn’t consider them his friends, but they were the only ones who greeted him regularly when they saw him. Other offered a nod or a smile, but nothing more.

“What are you doing here?” he asked innocently.

“James,” his mother scolded, frowning. “It’s rude to ask people that.”

“But… What’s the man next door doing here Mum?”

“I’m friends with Catalina and Havoc,” Roy explained. He still looked confused. “I mean, Rebecca and Jean.”

“Oh!” he announced, his frown disappearing.

“We work together James,” Havoc added.

“Why does he call you by your last name?”

“It’s habit,” Roy offered with a shrug. “We do it at work all the time and it’s transferred over to outside of work too.” James mouthed the word “transferred”, looking to his mother for clarification.

“It means they do it a lot at work, so continue to do it at home too,” she explained to him.

“Okay!” Obviously satisfied with this explanation, he moved onto the main reason he had ran over. “Come on, Aunt Becca.” James grabbed her hand and tried to pull her to her feet. “You promised you’d teach me after lunch.”

“All right, fair is fair, I suppose.”

“Mum, you have to come too. Aunt Becca has a pair that will fit you!”

“I hope you’re ready to catch me,” Riza told Catalina as she rose from the picnic blanket. “I’ll fall. A lot.”

Catalina laughed. “You’ll be fine,” she reassured his neighbour, brushing off her concerns.

When the two were alone, Havoc shot him a sideways look. Without looking at the man, Roy spoke. “This better not be some kind of setup, Havoc,” he warned.

The man coughed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Roy gave him an “ _are you kidding me?_ ” look. “I don’t have time in my life for that right now.”

“Think about it.”

“No, I’m good. I mean, she seems like a lovely person and has been nothing but friendly to me, but I’m not looking for anything right now.”

“Come on, dude, she’s gorgeous. You’d be perfect for each other.”

“I’m not talking about this, Havoc.”

“ _Fine_ ,” he sighed dramatically. He muttered something under his breath. Something along the lines of “this is the last time I help you”. Roy scoffed. As if he needed any help in that department anyway.

Roy returned his attention to Catalina who was in the process of teaching the boy and his mother how to roller skate. James picked it up immediately, skating swiftly away along the path after only a few minutes. Riza, however, was having more difficulty with it. She was shaky on her feet, losing her balance periodically. The brunette grabbed her flailing limbs as she giggled and urged her friend to relax.

“When does Catalina move in with you?” Roy asked, turning the conversation away from his love life.

“In a month,” Havoc grinned.

Roy groaned. “So I only have a month left of peace,” he joked. Havoc smacked his arm in response. “I’m kidding man, I’m happy for you two. It’s about time you moved in together.”

“Hey, I would have done it years ago. She was the one who wanted to work in East City, don’t pin this on me.”

“Why aren’t you moving to East City? Not that I don’t enjoy your company, but why did Catalina choose to transfer?”

Havoc shrugged. “She said she was ready for a change and a new challenge. Plus, she said she had more friends here. Most of the people from her academy days transferred to Central.”

“Fair enough, I suppose. I hope you have prepared her for the crazy people of Central.”

“I have, don’t worry,” Havoc chuckled. “She hears all about our hijinks. She especially likes the case that involved Old Bill.”

“Ugh,” Roy groaned in disgust. “Why did you have to remind me of that? I was enjoying my coffee.”

Havoc laughed. “You stunk of shit for about a week.”

Roy’s stomach quivered in response. “Don’t remind me. I puked for about a week afterwards too. Not my finest moment.”

“True, but you got the guy, didn’t you? All that shit paid off,” he snickered.

“And that’s me done with that,” Roy announced, placing his coffee cup on the grass at his feet. “I can see why Catalina would particularly like that story.”

“Don’t be such a baby,” Havoc laughed.

A cry went up from Catalina’s general direction, followed by peals of laughter. Riza was on the floor, laughing loudly. She clutched her stomach as she did so, rolling off her side and onto her back. Two roller-skates stuck up in the air. Catalina stood upright giggling, but eventually broke out into a laugh as well. She followed her friend and doubled over.

“You were supposed to catch me,” Riza shouted, continuing to laugh. Once she calmed down, she raised a hand to her head. “Ow!”

“Sorry Riza,” Catalina giggled. “I tried, but that manoeuvre was spectacular. There was nothing I could do.”

“Mum! Are you okay?” James rushed over, grabbing onto Rebecca to slow down. He looked at her worriedly.

“I’m fine James,” she reassured him, her laughter slowly dying down.

“Are you hurt?” he dropped to his knees, the worry never leaving his face.

“I bumped my head, but I’m all right. Here, help me up.”

James hauled her into a sitting position, using all his strength. Riza smacked Catalina’s arm playfully, a grin still on her face. “I’ll remember this the next time we go skiing.”

“Hey, that was all you! I only moved so you wouldn’t punch me in the face.”

Riza narrowed her eyes, but dropped the expression a moment later. “That’s enough skating for me today, I think.” Her hand returned to her head once more.

Roy watched her as she untied the roller skates from her feet. He noticed the Pusheen cat pattern on her ankle high socks. They looked incredibly cute. Havoc simply stared at him as he watched the scene before him, a knowing grin on his face.

“Cut it out man,” Roy told him, but didn’t press the issue. He had to admit, he thought as he admired her features, she was incredibly pretty. Especially when she laughed. Her golden hair glinted in the sunlight, almost giving her a halo. Her sun kissed skin shone and Roy noted that her skin had become more tanned compared to the last time he saw her.

Luckily for him, his eyes were hidden behind his sunglasses.

Catalina and Riza walked back over to them, Riza checking her head once more.

“Did you guys have fun?” Havoc asked, grinning.

“Some friend your girlfriend is,” Riza remarked, sticking her tongue out at Catalina. The latter raised her hands in surrender.

“It wasn’t all me, you were like Bambi on ice. You need to learn to relax.”

“I was very relaxed, thank you very much.”

“Yeah, it showed,” Havoc quipped. He received the same treatment as his girlfriend. Riza stuck her tongue out at him too.

The day stretched on and Roy had a very pleasant time with them all. He discovered Catalina and Riza had known each other since school. They had briefly lived together before Riza moved to Central. That period in time appeared to be a sore spot, and Catalina quickly steered the conversation to something else. It made Roy wonder what had happened in that time.

He also discovered a few more things about his neighbours. James was seven, turning eight next year, and the boy had invited Roy to his birthday party already, which Roy graciously accepted. Riza was a couple of years younger than him. She was twenty six. He was impressed to find out she didn’t rent her apartment, she owned it, like he did. They did a number of different activities, from camping, to skiing, to surfing. They certainly kept busy and Roy almost envied them. He rarely did anything outside work.

When the time came for them to leave the park, Roy found himself wanting to spend more time with the four of them. It was a rare occasion for him to be out on a Saturday afternoon enjoying the company of friends. He mostly spent time with Havoc when he and Catalina hadn’t made plans to meet up, but those times were few and far between.

Roy invited them back to his place for a few drinks, but James was already asleep on Riza’s lap, exhausted after his busy afternoon, so she declined. Catalina and Havoc were up early the next morning for breakfast with Havoc’s parents, so they also declined.

“Never mind,” Roy grinned, hiding his disappointment. It would be dinner for one once again. “Another time then.”

Riza nodded. “Definitely.”

* * *

Riza lifted James from the back seat of her car. Placing a hand on his head to protect it from banging against the doorway, she straightened up. He groaned sleepily, wrapping his legs around her waist. He was completely out of it. She chuckled and placed his head on her shoulder. She closed the door to the car with her foot, kicking it shut. She would collect everything tomorrow. The food was all gone, so there was nothing to worry about in that regard. It could all wait until morning. She locked the car and looked up as a pair of headlights caught her eye. They blinded her as the driver rounded the corner. Roy offered her a small wave as he passed, which she returned with a smile.

She had spent a really lovely day with him. It had been great to see Rebecca and Jean again too. James had taken to Roy quiet easily as well. At one point he had dragged the poor guy from his seat and they had spent half an hour with Jean playing with a frisbee. She and Rebecca had watched them, laughing as Jean reached confidently for the disc, clearly showing off for Rebecca’s sake, only to miss it and end up with it smacking him in the face. While they had laughed James had rushed over, worried for about his Uncle’s welfare. Roy had been amused by it too, telling Jean that it “served him right”.

“Hey,” Roy greeted. “Long time no see,” he grinned. He fell into step next to her. They were a few feet from the elevator. When they reached it, he called it down to their level.

“Hello again. Thank you.”

“The little guy certainly had a busy day,” he commented.

Riza chuckled. “He’s constantly at one hundred per cent. I don’t know if you noticed.”

“I did. It’s good for him though. I wish I had that much energy all the time.”

“You don’t,” Riza warned jokingly. “It can be a nightmare.”

They stepped inside the elevator and Roy pushed the button for the seventh floor.

“He’s a great kid,” Roy stated.

Riza smiled proudly, ruffling her sleeping son’s hair. “He certainly is.”

“I had a really nice day today, Riza,” he announced suddenly, turning to face her. He had rested against the wall, resting his arms on the hand rail which ran around the elevator.

“I did too. We should all do it again some time.”

Roy smiled. “I’d like that.”

“Good, then you can tire out James for me.”

Roy chuckled. “I’ll try, but I can’t make any promises. It might be the other way around.”

This time Riza laughed softly. “Isn’t that the truth?” The elevator dinged, announcing their floor. Riza stepped out first, fishing her keys from her pocket. “See you around, Roy.”

“See you, Riza,” he relied softly, stepping inside his own apartment.

Riza smiled to herself, hiding it behind James’ sleeping form. Her stomach fluttered slightly at the way he had said her name and the sight of his smile. She found herself enjoying that look on him. Before her thoughts could drift any further down that road, she pushed them to the back of her mind and got James’ ready for bed.

It wasn’t late. By the time they had arrived back home it was seven o’clock but once her son was asleep there was very little that could wake him. She loved him, but revelled in the fact that he wouldn’t be awake again until at least six or seven tomorrow morning.

The cool air hit her as soon as she stepped inside her apartment. It was a stark contrast to the humidity she felt outside and in the hallway. The sun was still bright outside as it streamed through the window in James’ room to her right. Its rays turned the room gold as it slowly begun to lower in the sky.

Entering James’ room, she laid him down gently on his bed. While she changed him into his pyjamas he barely stirred, completely dead to the world. She chuckled to herself, admiring her son’s ability to completely knock himself out in sleep. Riza had always been a light sleeper. She kissed him on the forehead and bid him goodnight quietly. Closing the door halfway, she tiptoed up to her front door to lock it. James never liked his bedroom door closed completely, it had to be open halfway. It made it easier for him to get up in the middle of the night and make his way to the bathroom. Nine times out of ten, Riza awoke when she heard him walked about, but now that he was older, she didn’t leave her room and left him to see to himself.

After a quick meal Riza grabbed herself a small bottle of wine, one of those travel sized ones, and poured herself a glass. Sitting on the reading nook by the bay window, Riza stretched out her legs, enjoying the comfort. As she stared out the window to watch the sunset and the world go by, she rested head against the window frame. However, she winced as pain shot through her head, the tender spot she had hit off the ground earlier coming into contact with the wood. She smirked at the memory, laughter building once more.

As the sun began set she thought back to the day they had spent in the park. James had had a blast with Rebecca and Jean. He always did when they were around. Her son had surprised her with Roy. He was very open with everyone, always looking to make friends, but he treated the man the same as he had with Jean, as if he had known him for years. Perhaps he trusted him already, being a neighbour and friends with his aunt and uncle. Kids were good with their intuition that way.

Riza’s gaze drifted to the sky as she thought of the dark haired man next door and how nice his smile was. Riza hadn’t thought much of it when he arrived today, but now, thinking back to seeing him in those sunglasses, she thought about how good he looked. His hair had fallen across the accessory and it was a _really_ _good_ look. His t-shirt had been grey and tight fitting. His muscular frame shone through the piece of clothing, and Riza supposed that was the whole point. She snorted to herself. She wouldn’t understand why guys wore clothes a size too small, but she wouldn’t complain at the eye candy. _I sound like Rebecca_ , she thought, grinning. The look had been complete with a pair of board shorts and sneakers. Riza found herself liking that look very much.

Rolling her eyes at herself, she stood from the reading nook and moved to the couch. She turned the television on, switching it to some film she had already seen. As she drank her wine she relaxed and could feel herself drifting off.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens... ;D A little fluff for you all (*couch* and an intro of the angst *cough*) because it is good for the soul.  
> Enjoy!

Roy’s focus broke as something banged loudly from outside his apartment. He paused in his work, waiting for a noise to follow. It could be nothing. It could just be someone dropping something. _It might be something_. In their neighbourhood there had been a string of break-ins a few weeks ago. Ever since then, Roy had been on high alert every time he heard a noise out of place. Standing slowly, he edged his way into the hallway. He grabbed his gun from his holster, checking the clip. He didn’t click the safety off. Not yet.

A shriek pierced the hallway, followed by laughter.

“Shh!” someone replied to the shriek, but there was laughter in their tone.

“No!” a young boy screeched as he laughed. _James_. He straightened up and returned his gun to its holster on the hook by the door, breathing out in a rush.

“James,” Riza scolded, but she was laughing herself. “Quieten down.” As Roy made his way back to his living room, he heard the boy continuing to laugh. “You can’t leave the apartment while we’re playing hide and seek,” Riza announced. James shrieked again. He appeared to be right outside Roy’s door. “That’s _cheating_ ,” she stressed, laughing. “Then you can hide anywhere.”

“Aw,” he wailed as the sound travelled back towards their apartment. Roy assumed Riza had picked him up and she was carrying him back to their home. Their door closed once more.

Roy smiled at their antics. They were thoroughly entertaining. Roy had been privy to some of their games, as had other neighbours on the floor. One Sunday morning, not too long ago, James had sprinted down the hallway almost knocking Roy over. He barely saw the blur of blonde hair over his shopping bags as the boy hid behind him, grabbing his trouser leg.

“Uh, James?” he asked uncertainly, wondering what was going on.

Riza had exited the apartment, looking to the left then the right. James giggled behind him.

“James, get out from behind Roy,” she giggled herself, her face trying and failing to hold a stern look. Instead it was full of amusement.

“No!” he shouted, laughing.

“Yes. You’ll knock him over.”

“No I won’t!”

“Come here!”

“No!” he shrieked, gripping his trouser leg tightly. As he began to run away he let go of Roy’s clothing too late, causing him to lose his balance. Riza caught his arms before he could topple, righting him.

“I’m so sorry,” she told him sincerely, but not without a grin and a chuckle, before dashing behind him after her son. Roy turned to watch them both, bemused. “Got you now,” she announced, grasping him around the waist. He had stopped at the end of the hallway and pressed the button for the lift, giving Riza enough time to catch up to him. Roy could do nothing more but watch in surprise as Riza hoisted him into her arms and tickled him mercilessly. His laughter filled the hallway and it was one of the purest sounds Roy had ever heard. “Now,” Riza began, coming to a stop in front of Roy. He was still stood in the same spot. James was currently horizontal, being held at the waist by his mother. “What do you say to Roy? You almost knocked him over.”

“Sorry,” James apologised, still giggling.

“Sorry,” she said again. She turned away with her son, back to her own apartment. “First of all, what’s the one rule while we play tig?”

“There aren’t any rules?”

Riza paused, staring down at the boy. “You’ve been listening to your Uncle Jean too much. What’s _my_ one rule?” She shifted her son so he was the right way up.

“Don’t leave the apartment,” he relied dutifully.

“And what did you do?”

“Left the apartment.”

“Uh hu. So, you deserve some kind of punishment.” Realising what his mother meant, he started shouting again.

“No! Please, don’t Mum!” She had begun to tickle him once more.

“That’s what you get,” she sang as the door slammed closed, James’ laughter drifting into the hall.

The older woman who lived across the hall from him had peeked her own head out to see what the commotion was. She chuckled to herself upon seeing his surprised face.

“What just happened?” he asked rhetorically.

“They do this a lot,” she assured him. “It makes me happy to see them so carefree. If anyone deserves it, it’s that girl.” Without another word, or an explanation, she re-entered her home.

Roy was glad they were both so happy. From what he had gathered from Havoc and Catalina Riza hadn’t had the happiest of childhoods. They hadn’t told him much else. When he had enquired about her casually they shot each other a knowing look. Instead of probing further, Roy rolled his eyes and begun to discuss something else.

His phone rang from the living room table. He re-entered the room but froze when he saw the number on the display. It was one he would _really_ rather not see. Picking up the phone he took a deep breath before he answered.

“Mustang,” he greeted sharply. He would not give the person on the other side of the line the satisfaction of a hello.

“Hello son,” a voice greeted him. Roy’s hand clenched into a fist.

“Mr. Mayor.”

“Come on, what kind of greeting is that?”

“What do you want?”

His father sniffed in disdain. “Can’t a father call his son to see how he’s doing?”

“Yes, they can. Can you? No.”

“Listen boy,” he started, the anger clearly building in his voice. Good. Roy only treated him the same way the man had treated him growing up. With disdain and disgust. “Clear your schedule at the end of October. You presence is required at the autumn benefit.”

Roy snorted. “You’re really still trying to pull this crap?”

“Enough.” The shout stilled him. A bolt of terror shot through him, and he hated himself for it. “You _will_ be there.”

“You know as well as I that I’m not required. You just want me there because it makes you look better.”

“Roy. Son, you’ll be there, because if not, the DA will become very interested to know some valuable information that could break your career.”

Roy gripped the phone tighter in anger. “So, you’re making up shit now? Just so I go to your fucking benefit? You disgust me.”

“It’s my word against yours, and just who do you think the DA will believe? A lowly detective, or the Mayor?”

“Fuck you, _Dad_.”

“It’s up to you,” he replied nonchalantly. “You have a month to give me your answer.”

Roy disconnected the call and threw the device across the room. It hit the wall hard and Roy barely even heard the crack as it shattered.

“Fuck,” he hissed. He was angry. He was angry with that poor excuse for a father and he was angry with himself. Because he knew he would end up going. He always would. His father was a piece of shit but he was the Mayor. And, like he said, no one would believe Roy. It was his words against the Mayor’s. Roy wouldn’t be surprised if his father had bought out all the cops in the city. In fact, he had it on good authority that the man had.

Roy pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on. Things were going so well recently. He had closed another big case at work. There had been a few upsets, mainly from the incompetence of other cops, such as taking too long to label evidence and dealing with paperwork…

“Son of a bitch,” Roy muttered. He sat back on his couch in disbelief.

That had been his father’s doing. This week had been great, but the last few hiccups had occurred towards the end of the case. His father had either bribed or paid off the cops to slow down Roy’s progress. He had to have been. He had worked with the cops before and they were incredibly capable of doing their jobs. They didn’t simply make stupid mistakes like that.

It was his way of showing Roy how much power he held over him.

“I fucking _hate_ him.”

Roy cleaned up the paperwork before him. He shoved it into his rucksack and retrieved his phone from the floor. He sighed at the sight of the small crack in the screen, but it still worked. He dialled Havoc’s number.

“Hey, man,” he greeted.

“Fancy going out tonight for a couple of beers?” His question was abrupt, but Havoc knew the drill. The blonde man knew Roy needed to talk to him about something urgently but it couldn’t be done over the phone. More than likely, from that simple message, Havoc knew this had something to do with the Mayor.

“Sure thing. I’ll see you at O’Connell’s in ten?”

“Done.”

Roy shrugged on his jacket and grabbed his keys. Summer was drawing to a close and there was a slight chill in the air now at night. The jacket probably wasn’t necessary, but Roy wore it simply so he could shove his hands in his pockets as he walked.

Briefly, and surprisingly, his thoughts turned to the little boy next door. He was glad he had one parent who loved him unconditionally. Roy’s biological parents didn’t. Well, his mother probably had at one point. Either that, or feared him. His father sure as shit didn’t.

Pushing the door to the bar open with more force than necessary Roy strode to the bar ordering two shots of tequila. He downed them both, feeling the fire spread from his throat to his stomach. It felt good. He then ordered two beers. One for him and one for Havoc.

His partner walked in the door two minutes later, instantly seeking out Roy. When he spotted him, Roy jerked his head in the direction of a booth and carried their drinks over.

“The Mayor?” Havoc asked right away. Roy glanced around them, checking to see if anyone was listening. Nobody was of course. The music from the jukebox was too loud to be overheard.

Roy nodded.

“Shit.” Havoc ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

“I know.”

“What did he want this time?”

“Oh, you know, the usual. Threatening my career.”

“Fucking hell.”

“He only did it because I refused to attend his autumn benefit.

Havoc shook his head. He took a sip of his beer. “Why don’t we just put this guy away? We have solid evidence. Did you record the call?”

“I did record it. And no, we can’t. Not yet. It needs to be bulletproof, not just solid. Remember the mess ups from the officers this week?” Havoc nodded. “Didn’t you think that was odd?”

Havoc dipped his head in agreement. The realisation dawned on him. “You don’t think…?”

“I _do_ think.  Jefferson and Rose are solid cops. There’s no way it’s a coincidence. He’s trying to remind me the power he holds over me.”

“Okay, so where does that leave us?” Havoc rubbed in chin in thought.

“We keep working. Try and gather any evidence we can. I’ll go to that benefit and see if I can find anything useful.”

Havoc sighed. “I wish we had a better alternative.”

“Well, we don’t.” His reply was sharp. He sighed. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. I get it. This isn’t easy. It would be bad enough if it was a normal dude, but he’s your dad. It makes it ten times harder. Whatever needs to be done about that bastard, I’ve got your back.”

Roy smiled at his friend’s support. “Thanks.”

* * *

Riza left her work on Saturday evening eager to return home. James was being watched by Havoc and while she trusted him wholly, she could only imagine the mischief they would get up to in her absence.

She stopped by the grocery store on the way home and picked up a few things for dinner. She was making spaghetti bolognese and needed some more tomato puree. As she entered the store a television droned on above the counter with the nightly news. The store was largely empty save for the man behind the counter. She gathered up her items and paid the cashier.

Riza stepped out of the elevator to the sound of shouting. She tensed immediately, her heart jumping to her throat. “James,” she whispered, fear flooding her. Was her father here? However, what she heard next confused her.

“You better run, Mustang!” Jean yelled. “Justice will be swift!”

James’ laughter reached hear ears, easing her fears.

“Only if you catch me, Havoc,” Roy called back. He ran out of her apartment and sprinted down the hall to his own, grabbing onto the door frame so he could spin into the doorway. In his hand Riza spotted a water gun. Both doors were propped open and James and Havoc ran out the door right after him, also holding water guns. All three were oblivious to her standing by the elevator.

“Where did you go?” Havoc called once entering Roy’s apartment. James snickered from behind his uncle. “Come out, come out, wherever you are.” James giggled. Riza shook her head and chuckled at the trio. She entered her own apartment and set down her groceries, letting the boys have their fun.

“Marco!” James called out, joining in with Havoc.

A quite “polo” sounded in reply. Riza smirked as it came from outside her apartment. Roy had quietly crept out of his apartment behind the pair and tried to re-enter hers. Riza snuck behind the door of her living room as Roy entered. Without warning, she snuck up behind him and grabbed both arms to pin them behind his back.

“James! Jean!” she called, grinning. “I’ve got him!”

“Hey!” Roy cried indignantly. He tried to struggle but to no avail. He couldn’t escape her iron grip. It didn’t help Riza had pressed her knee into the back of his, causing him to lose his footing.

Both Jean and James entered the living room, skidding to a halt in the doorway at the sight. Jean’s mouth fell open as he watched Roy struggle in her arms. Without hesitation James shot him with the water pistol. Comically, it sprayed right in his face.

“Yes! We won!” James whooped, hopping around the room. He climbed up into the couch and bounced on the spot. Riza laughed and let go of Roy. She forced down the faint butterfly feeling in her stomach at the close contact. She suddenly realised what she had done. Riza wasn’t sure if she had crossed a line with her actions. Sure, she would class Roy as a friend. They had known each other for around four months now and spoke frequently, but were they this comfortable with each other? Not really.

Oblivious, Jean high fived James, both celebrating.

Roy rounded on her. He dramatically placed a hand on his chest. “I was betrayed!”

“Sorry,” Riza winked at him, belaying her fears. “But _of course_ I’m going to help my kid.”

After wiping his soaking face he pointed his finger at her, narrowing his eyes. There was a glint of amusement in them. “I’ll remember this Hawkeye. Your loyalties have been noted.”

“Yeah, Mum! You’re the best!” James leapt at her from the back of the couch. She turned just in time to catch him, but began to topple over, not expecting the sudden force applied against her. Her body hit something solid, but it wasn’t the wall. Hands gripped her upper arms, steadying her. A deep chuckled filled her ears, the sound suddenly _very_ close. She felt her cheeks turning pink. The flutter in her stomach returned once more, stronger this time.

“Whoa, steady James,” Roy chuckled. “You’ll knock your mother over.” His voice was lower than before, leaning towards a murmur. It was a deep sound which resonated through her. Riza looked up, mistakenly catching Jean’s eye. His grin widened and she straightened up, moving away from Roy’s grip. Riza looked away, shifting her grip on her son.

“How about bolognese for the winner?”

“Yeah!”

“Would you both like to join us?” She met both men’s gaze. Jean, of course, nodded eagerly and Roy thanked her. She let James down. “It’ll be ready in about an hour.”

“Wanna play some video games while we wait, James?”

“Yeah! That sounds awesome!”

“Games it is.” Jean left Riza’s apartment with James in tow. As Riza entered the kitchen she noticed Roy had held back. She tensed slightly.

“Would you like a hand with dinner?”

“I’m fine, thank you,” she smiled politely. His voice was rich as he spoke, sending a chill down her spine. It was the first time she noted how nice it was to listen to. She took in his features, his dark eyes holding a hint of mystery within them. It made her want to find out more.

Roy nodded. Riza wasn’t sure if he looked disappointed, but the look was gone before Riza could fully comprehend it. “Okay. Just give us a shout if you do.”

As he left her apartment he closed the door quietly behind him. Riza let out a breath and leaned against the kitchen counter. She inhaled deeply, letting it out in a rush. She pushed her feelings down. Sure, Roy was an attractive man. It would be nice to travel down that path. Not with her focus simply on him, but with anyone. However, she couldn’t get caught up in that again. She had once and look where it got her. Sure, she had James now, and Riza wouldn’t change it for the world, but, that one moment in her life with James’ father had driven her from her home and left her alone with no support. She was all right financially. When her mother passed she had left her more than enough money to support her growing child. Although her father had tried to cut off her inheritance, Riza’s mother ensured her daughter would receive her share.

“Hey, have you seen…?” Jean trailed off as he entered the kitchen. He took one look at her state and walked to her side. Riza wiped away the tears in her eyes, turning around and away from the door. “Are you all right?”

Riza nodded. “Yeah.”

“Is something wrong?”

“No. Just…” she sighed. “Thinking about my family.” Riza saw no point in lying to Jean. She had known him for years and he knew all about her past. A hand was placed on her shoulder. It made its way down to her upper arm, rubbing it in comfort. Her body was pulled against his side and Riza was thankful for the comfort. “Thanks.”

“It’s all right. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Okay. Well if you do…”

“I know,” Riza smiled. “I’ll let you know.”

“I just came back for my phone.”

Riza nodded, her tears gone. “Dinner will be ready as soon as possible.”

“No rush. James is glued to Roy’s Xbox.” He chuckled. “You might need to buy him one for Christmas. If not, I’m sure you could convince Roy to let him have a go.” With a grin he was out the door once more.

Riza took another deep breath, calming her nerves. To distract herself, she began cooking their dinner. She called everyone through once it was ready. The trio eagerly entered the kitchen. Riza smiled at the sight of James entering the room with the two men. The way he looked up at them made her heart melt, but also made it ache. She wished she had someone here full time for him to look up to. It was only right. He deserved so much more than she could give him.

To say having four people around the table instead of two was nice, was an understatement. Riza certainly loved having the company. Perhaps she would invite Jean and Rebecca over more often. Perhaps Roy would like to join them too.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *documentary voice* and here we see the Riza Hawkeye in full mama-mode. It is both fascinating and heart warming to watch.  
> Seriously why doesn't Riza have a kid in cannon because writing this fic has been the cuTEST

Roy rubbed his eyes tiredly. It was nine o’clock at night and he had yet to leave work. Havoc had left three hours ago at his insistence. His partner had planned on seeing Catalina tonight. Since starting at Central PD three weeks ago she had been worked constantly. Central was a lot busier than East City, so she was required to participate in shadow shifts, where she followed around another two police officers to learn how they did things. Today was her last one, giving the couple a free night. It wouldn’t be fair for his partner to stay behind and do the work Roy was capable of doing himself.

He stood and poured himself another cup of coffee. They were in between cases at the moment. Right now, he and Havoc were doing police work as they waited for something important to come across their desk. Havoc had begun a bet between them, seeing who would have the most arrests before the end of the month. Roy had happy obliged, feeling confident in his abilities. With only three days left Roy was up, twenty two to twenty.

He jumped as the phone on his desk rang, piercing the quiet office and his thoughts. He walked back over, lifting the receiver. “Mustang,” he greeted tiredly.

“Time’s up boy,” his father greeted. Roy gripped the receiver tightly. He was far too tired for his father’s shit tonight. “What’s it going to be? Come to my benefit, or get fired? You pick.”

“Where do you get off on making my life a misery?” he asked, anger seeping into his tone. Not so angry to press record on the cassette player next to his phone as soon as he recognised the caller’s voice. The technology was outdated, but it still did the job. That way he had a physical copy of evidence against his father’s corrupt ways and questionable morality.

“Pick.”

“You know fine well I’ll go. Why do you need to keep bothering me about it?”

“Excellent.” Roy could almost see the smug look on his face. It made him want to punch something. Involuntarily, his free hand clenched into a fist. “I’ll make the arrangements. I look forward to seeing you, my boy. Also, you’re required to bring a plus one. You’re twenty-eight years old and I’ll not be made a fool of because you don’t have a wife yet. Get it sorted.”

“I’m surprised you even remembered,” he muttered to himself as the line went dead. He stopped the cassette tape. “Great, one more thing to worry about.” Roy rubbed his face tiredly. He labelled the tape with the date and time then proceeded to toss it into his rucksack along with the others. Roy downed his coffee and settled in for a long night ahead.

“Roy?” someone called to him from what sounded like far away. A hand was on his shoulder and he jumped at the unexpected contact. His neck flared with pain as he sat up from his current position. His back protested at the movement, causing him to groan aloud. “Did you _sleep_ here?” Havoc stood before his desk looking bewildered.

“I guess I did, yeah.”

Havoc couldn’t understand it. “You said you’d only be another hour or so.”

Roy shrugged but regretted it instantly. His shoulders ached after being held in such an uncomfortable position for so long. Roy rolled his neck, relishing in the relief the stretching gave him. “Something came up.”

Havoc frowned. “Like what? What could _possibly_ keep you here all night?”

Without a word, Roy reached for his backpack and grabbed the freshest tape. He tossed it on the table towards his partner. This wasn’t the first time he had slept at the office, but it was the first time Havoc had caught him. Roy knew the drill. He needed to stretch off first. Luckily it was still early so no one else had caught him. Glancing at his watch it read six o’clock. After stretching off he would head to the break room for a shower. With a couple more coffees in him, he would be good to go.

“Shit. This isn’t good for you, Roy. You need to get out of here. You need away from _him_.”

“Wherever I go that bastard will find me,” he stated, his voice emotionless. “It’s happened before, it’ll happen again. It’s only a matter of time before he finds my new place. While I have the peace, I’ll enjoy it.”

Havoc’s expression was one of sadness. “It isn’t good for you.”

“Nope.” Roy straightened his legs and reached down towards the floor. His palms lay flat on the ground and he stared at the blue carpet below them. “But the sooner we get the evidence, the sooner he goes.”

Havoc sighed in resignation. He placed his own rucksack next to his desk. Roy knew what he was thinking. Roy knew Havoc was worried about him. He felt bad worrying his partner like this, but there was literally nothing he could do about it. He was stuck. His so called father had him trapped and the man knew it. Roy was his puppet and there wasn’t a _fucking_ thing he could do about it. So he held onto the anger. It would fuel his case against the man.

The next problem was his “plus one”. Roy didn’t get out much and there was no one he could ask. He briefly entertained the possibility of taking Catalina, but his father no doubt had someone monitoring all cops in the city. She wouldn’t be permitted to the event because she wasn’t in the Mayor’s pocket. He considered possibly asking one of his older siblings, but he _really_ didn’t want to get them involved. The Mayor already hated him. Roy didn’t need to give him an excuse to target his foster family.

He sighed, leaving his desk. He muttered to Havoc about taking a shower. His partner already had the tape in the player, listening back on it. When Roy returned Havoc had poured him another cup of coffee. He thanked him and sat at his desk.

“So,” he began conversationally. “Who are you taking as a plus one?”

“What?” Roy asked, feigning confusion and busying himself shifting paperwork around.

“You heard me.”

Roy shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ll figure something out.” He smirked. “I always do.”

“If you say so. What about asking Riza?”

“Excuse me?” Now he was confused. “I already told you, it’s not gonna happen.”

“That’s fine,” Havoc replied, holding his hands up in surrender. “Take her as a friend then.”

Roy opened his mouth to reply, but stopped himself. It could possibly work. She wasn’t tied to him in any way. His father couldn’t target her because she wasn’t part of the police force. He wouldn’t stoop so low to target her regardless of that… Would he? Roy found the thought made his stomach churn.

“Possibly, but…”

“You don’t want to get her involved? Your dad isn’t that bad.”

“How can you be so sure?”

Havoc frowned. “Use it as a last resort then. It was just an idea.”

Roy nodded. As they began to work his thoughts returned to the possibility. He knew Riza well enough. They were on good terms and Roy would even consider them friends.

As Roy thought back to the times they had spent together he smiled to himself. He remembered her laugh at the park and how lovely it had sounded. He remembered her body pressed against his as he caught her that day he had been having a water fight with Havoc and her son. It had been childish but honestly he hadn’t had that much fun in years.

 The days following it he had struggled to get the feeling out of his head. He found himself looking at her in a new light. One that he would want to pursue, but something held him back. If he was tied to anyone his father would surely use it against him to keep him in line. That was why he was still alone. The sooner he was put away, the better.

After his conversation with Havoc that morning, Roy froze when he spotted Riza in the hallway walking towards him. It popped to the front of his mind, unbidden. But he was tired. He was tired of dealing with his poor excuse of a father and physically exhausted after his night of sleeping at his desk.

“Hello,” she greeted, but it lacked her usual spark. She looked troubled by something.

“Hey,” he replied as cheerily as he could. It wasn’t much, but at least he tried. “How are you?”

“All right,” she replied, but it didn’t sound like it. Roy studied her face. She looked worried about something. Something had happened.

“What’s up?” Her gaze shot up to meet his, surprised at how he had picked up on her change in demeanour. Fatigue forgotten, he turned his attention to her.

“Nothing,” was her reply. She looked away once more, her gaze returning to the floor. Without another word she left in a hurry, turning towards the stairs instead of waiting on the elevator.

“Riza?” he called after her. But there was no reply. He briefly considered following after her just to check she was really all right, but it wasn’t his place.

Sighing, Roy dug his keys out of his pocket and entered his apartment. For once he didn’t have any work to do at home. Roy text Havoc asking if he wanted to hang out, but he declined. Said he was busy. That left him with a free night. And for once, he didn’t know what to do with himself.

* * *

Riza hurried to the pharmacy just down from her apartment building. Her mind was back in her apartment, thinking of her little boy who was currently ill. He had been sent home from school after vomiting in the classroom. He hadn’t stopped since and he was getting increasingly upset as the day went on. It tore at Riza heart to see him this way. It was at times like these that she wished she had another parent with her. Even just to alleviate the stress and give her some support. Rebecca was currently with him at the moment while Riza popped out, so that was something.

“Good evening,” the pharmacist greeted her with a smile. “How can I help you?”

“My little boy is ill. He’s been vomiting all day and won’t stop. Do you have any idea what it might be?”

He brought his hand to his chin in thought. He turned from the counter and drifted back to the cabinets behind him, searching for something. “It sounds like a stomach bug, nothing too major.” He plucked a packet of medicine out of the cabinet and offered it to her. “Give him these and if it doesn’t go away by morning I suggest taking him to the hospital. Just to be sure.”

“Thank you so much.” She paid for the medicine.

“Don’t worry,” he told her cheerily. “Kids get these things all the time.”

Riza nodded and left the pharmacy, hurrying back. James was finally quiet as she entered his bedroom. Rebecca had placed a wet rag on his head to try and calm his fever.

“He gave me these,” Riza announced. “He said if James isn’t better by morning we should take him to the hospital.”

“He’ll be fine, Riz,” Rebecca reassured her. But it fell on deaf ears. She only had eyes her son. Rebecca vacated the chair that had been pulled up next to her bedside. “I’ll make us some dinner,” she replied softly. Riza barely touched the food when Rebecca put it in front of her, but after a brief argument, the blonde finally agreed.

The night was long but they pulled through. Riza refused to leave James’ side and the thought of sleep was far from her mind. She remained by his side, vigilant as he finally slept. At first he had woken himself up by coughing then proceeded to vomit once more.

“It’s okay, baby,” Riza soothed him, rubbing his back as he ejected his stomach contents. He cried afterwards and Riza climbed into the bed with him. She thought she must have gotten some sleep, finally succumbing to her exhaustion, because when she opened her eyes dawn was beginning to break on the skyline. However, the next time he woke there was no vomiting. He was exhausted after a fitful night’s sleep but the medicine seemed to have done its job. Riza breathed a sigh of relief. She continued to watch over him, but he had calmed down significantly. They wouldn’t have to go to the hospital. Nevertheless, she still called the doctor and made an appointment.

“You’ve returned,” Rebecca quipped as she sipped on her coffee.

Riza smiled tiredly, admittedly in better spirits. “I have.”

“How’s he doing?”

“No more vomiting. He isn’t as pale as he used to be either.”

“Good,” Rebecca sighed, relieved. The woman treated the child as if he was her own, and Riza was thankful for that. If James couldn’t have his father, then at least he had his mother and a kick ass aunt to look out for him. “So he doesn’t need to go to the hospital?”

“I don’t think so. I’ve made an appointment at the doctors for two o’clock though.”

“Let me know how it goes. Do you want me to come round tonight?”

Riza shook her head. Rebecca had already spent last night here, Riza would feel bad asking her to stay for another. “We’ll be fine. Thank you for your help, I really appreciate it.” She squeezed her friend’s shoulder.

“Don’t mention it.”

“I owe you, Becca. I mean it.”

“A girls night with a bottle of wine will suffice,” she winked.

Riza laughed. “Consider it done.”

“Mum?” James called from his room. His voice was weak and it made Riza’s chest tighten.

“Go, I need to leave for work anyway.” Rebecca stood, stretching off. “If you need anything, give Jean or myself a call.”

Just when everything seemed to be going all right, James’ vomiting started up again. It was more violent than before and the boy was terrified. So was Riza.

“Come on James,” she urged, as if willing him to get better. She hugged her son tightly, tears falling down her face. “You’ll be okay.”

“I don’t like it,” he wailed, but his voice was scratchy from the abuse it had endured.

“Neither do I, honey. We’ll go to the hospital and see what the doctor says, okay?” She kissed the top of his head. “I need to make a phone call then I’ll be right back, I promise.”

“Don’t go Mummy,” he whined, grasping onto her hand tightly. It broke Riza’s heart.

“I need to get my phone. I’ll be right back.”

She ran into the living room and grabbed it, dialling Jean’s work number. Rebecca had already text her to let her know she was out on patrol so she couldn’t help for another couple of hours. She prayed Jean would be able to.

“Havoc,” he answered.

“Jean!”

“Hey Riza,” he replied cheerily.

“I need your help,” she said in a rush, cutting him off. He seemed to sense her urgency because there was a pause followed by a noise on the other end of the phone, as if he shifted his stance or was walking away from someone. “James’ has gotten worse and he needs to go to the hospital but my car is in the garage and I can’t take him on the bus like this.”

“Whoa, slow down. He’s gotten worse? Becca said he was better this morning.”

“I know and I don’t know what to do,” she whispered desperate. She re-entered James’ room and sat on the bed, resting a hand on his leg. He watched her through tired and terrified eyes. “I didn’t have anyone else to call and Rebecca’s already busy. I completely understand if you can’t, I know you’re working and I wouldn’t go to anyone else with this but I really…” she cut herself off, tears filling her eyes once more.

“I’m on my way.” Riza heard someone ask if everything was okay on the other side of the line. Jean hushed them. “Get a bag ready and we’ll get you at your apartment.”

Riza nodded, letting loose a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

The call disconnected and Riza began to pack a bag with everything James might need.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“Uncle Jean is coming to take us to the hospital. We’re just going to make sure everything is okay.” Riza calmed her nerves. Her emotions had gotten away with her and she realised now that she would have probably frightened her son. They always did when it came to him. She had been a nightmare after he was born. Riza told herself she wouldn’t be one of those mothers that checks that her baby is breathing every two minutes but because she was the sole parent responsible for James, the urge and her worry had become too much.

“You’re scared,” he stated.

“I’m not scared, I just don’t like seeing you this way, honey, that’s all.”

James went quiet. He pulled his duvet up to his chin and closed his eyes. Riza busied herself by packing a bag with a change of clothes and a pair of pyjamas. She packed his lucky lion toy in the side, knowing he would like the comfort it would bring. She also grabbed her own set of clothes, just in case.

Jean knocked on the door and Riza ushered James out of bed. He was shaky on his feet, wobbling once or twice. The boy whimpered in response and clung to his mother’s leg. She realised she must have looked terrible when she opened the door because both Jean and Roy looked surprised. Bot their expressions changed to one of concern.

“How are you doing buddy?” he asked James, crouching down to his level. James shook his head and buried his face in Riza’s trouser leg. “That bad, huh? Well, we’ll get you to the hospital and the doctors will make you right as rain.” James didn’t seem convinced. He clambered to get up into her arms but Riza was already laden down with the bag and two sets of jackets.

“Let me carry these,” Roy offered and held his hands out for her bags. Riza thanked him and lifted up her son.

“Please make it stop Mum,” he whispered. “I don’t like it anymore.”

The two men shot her a look of sympathy. Riza could feel the tears forming once more.

“I will sweetie, don’t worry, but we have to go to the hospital first, okay? I need you to be a big brave boy for me. Do you think you can do that?” He nodded and rested his head on her shoulder.

“Your Mum is doing an awesome job already, kid. Just hang in there for a little while longer.” Roy offered her a comforting smile and begun to lead the way to the elevator.

The drive to the hospital was a quiet one. The adults didn’t want to disturb whatever kind of brief peace James had fallen into. They waited for over an hour at accident and emergency. Riza urged them both to go, that she could handle it now, but Havoc refused.

“This is our lunch hour,” he shrugged. “Plus, we have paperwork to pick up at the building across the street.”

“I feel bad though, you’re both missing your lunch because of this.”

“Are you kidding? Mustang’s loving it.” The pair looked over to the man in question who had made himself very comfortable, his legs stretched out in front of him with his ankles crossed. Currently he was munching on a bag of crisps. A hot dog wrapper lay at one side of him and an empty can of coke lay on the other.

“What?” he asked, his face a picture of innocence.

“Where do you put all that crap?” Havoc asked.

He shrugged. “Beats me. It sure is good though.” For emphasis, he performed a chef’s kiss. James giggled from Riza’s side and the man grinned. “I’ll save a bag for you kid when you’re better, you need to try these. Truly a meal of champions.”

“What flavour are they?” Havoc peered at the wrapper, trying to discern the flavour from the colour of the bag.

“Pickled onion.”

“That’s disgusting.” Havoc turned his nose up.

“If by disgusting you mean _amazing_ , then yes they are.” James giggled again. Roy winked at him.

“No, I mean disgusting. I really don’t get you sometimes.”

“Jokes on you, I aim to be dark and mysterious _all_ the time, so point to me.”

“James Hawkeye?” a doctor called to the room, his eyes scanning the waiting room. Riza stood quickly, their conversation forgotten. Jean and Roy stood too, the latter brushing crumbs from his dress trousers.

“Give me a call when you’re done,” Jean told her. “We’ll take you back home.” Riza nodded, knowing that arguing with him at this point would be useless. She disappeared down the hallway with the doctor.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! ;)

Riza walked away from them both, following behind the doctor. Her son was in her arms once more and on her left shoulder she carried the overnight bag she had brought with her. Roy found his eyes lingering on her retreating form as he thought about his concern for her. When she had first opened her front door, he had been surprised by the state she was in. Havoc had told him her kid was sick, but from the look on her face it looked like he was near death. His surprise turned to concern as he noted the worn out look on her face and her red, puffy eyes with accompanying dark circles.

“Let’s go,” Havoc told him. “The sooner we get that evidence the better.” Roy nodded, following his partner’s lead. They were quiet as they left the hospital. Roy got behind the wheel and pulled out of the parking lot. “Don’t worry about them too much,” Havoc began, stretching out his lanky frame in the passenger’s seat. “Riza worries a lot, especially when it comes to James.”

“I’m not worried,” he stated. “Just a concerned friend. That’s all.” His grip tightened on the steering wheel. In truth, he didn’t like seeing Riza so upset. It wasn’t a fitting look for her. Same for James. They were always smiling and looked so carefree.

“Do me a favour?”

“Yeah?”

“Keep an eye on them for me. Riza has never been one to ask for help. She did today, and that surprises me.” Havoc’s hand went to his chin in thought.

“Why?” Roy ventured.

“Rebecca hasn’t told me much about what went down before Riza moved in with her. I suppose it is none of my business either. But it was bad. Ever since I met Riza she has kept that part of her life guarded. I don’t even know who James’ dad is. I don’t think Rebecca does either.”

 _Really?_ That surprised him. He thought Catalina of all people would know.

“Before she moved in, right after her dad kicked her out, that was the only time she has ever asked for help. My point is, she won’t seek out help unless pushed to do so. I just don’t want help to come too late.”

“Okay. I will,” Roy agreed.  In fact, he had never truly thought about how hard it must be for Riza to be a single parent. He had looked after kids before at his aunt’s. But he had both her and her older sibling’s help. Together, it had seemed easy.

Riza seemed to be pretty well off, so she was okay financially. But she still worked. She had to juggle that, paying bills, and looking after a kid. There was nothing easy about it. If another parent had been present then it would lighten the load. Perhaps he should step in and offer his help. It was a thought he would willingly entertain. He enjoyed their company and they intrigued him. Their dynamic was thoroughly entertaining.

“Thanks man. Rebecca and I try to help as much as we can, but it is getting harder. She has a larger workload with longer hours and with us working on this case against the Mayor on the side I don’t have as much free time as I would like.”

Roy felt guilty. He had dragged Havoc into this mess with his father and it was affecting his life. His grip tightened once more. “I’m really sorry,” he began. “If you don’t –”

“Save it man,” Havoc replied, cutting him off with a smile. “I am seeing this case through whether it’s with you or not. I’m not giving up now. I’ve seen too much to walk away.”

Roy let out a breath. It was reassuring to have Havoc’s support, but it didn’t lessen his guilt. “Are you sure?”

“Of course. Nevertheless, if you could check in on my nephew from time to time, that would be appreciated.”

Pulling up to the curb, Roy parked the car in front of City Hall. Both detectives exited the vehicle and climbed the steps. They strode into the building like the belonged, despite the fact that there was a ball of anxiety in Roy’s stomach. His father’s office was in City Hall. He only prayed he wouldn’t come across him.

“How may I help you today?” the reception asked cheerily.

They each flashed their badges. “We have a meeting with Walter Grumman,” Roy stated.

“Of course. One moment please.” She typed something into her computer. “Please take the lift to floor three. His office is down the hallway to the left, second door on the right. His secretary will greet you there.”

“Thank you.”

“Have a nice day.”

“You too.”

Following the receptionist’s directions, the pair ended up in front of Grumman’s office. It looked like any other government office, everything a varying colour of brown.

“Ah, boys. Come in! Come in.” They shared a look at being referred to as “boys”, but stepped inside the Financial Minister’s office. They took a seat in front of his desk. The man himself was eccentric. His grey hair and bushy moustache gave him the look of an elderly government official, just working away until retirement. However, behind his guise was a cunning that was unparalleled. The man was also looking to take down the corrupt Mayor, and was their biggest supporter. Unofficially, of course. “What can I do for you both today?”

“We have come to collect a few things regarding the customs case you asked us to look into.”

“Ah yes, of course. I have it all right here.” Shuffling through the papers on his desk he lifted out a folder. It was surprisingly quite thick. It had some weight to it as he took it off Grumman’s hands.

The man had tipped them off that the Mayor may or may not be involved in some shady deals regarding trafficking illegal items through East City and South City. Said items were to be shipped to Xing and Aerugo, respectively. The Financial Minister had simply pinpointed said shipments and asked the police to investigate. They all weren’t stupid. There was no way the Mayor would have made this trackable back to him, but if they could someone catch him discussing said shipments then it would be the chance they were waiting for. It was a long shot, but one Roy was willing to take.

“Thank you for looking into this for me boys. I really appreciate it. I would have done it myself, but I am _swamped_ with budget reports and planning financially for this benefit the Mayor is having.”

Roy paused after hearing his words. He caught the man’s eye and he gave Roy a knowing look. His gaze flicked down to the folder, then back up to his gaze. _There is something he wants us to see in the folder._ Roy could understand that. Apparently, Grumman had never been the most compliant to the Mayor, opting to do things his own way and on his own time. From the older man’s vague descriptions and the mention of the benefit, Roy caught on to the fact that there was no doubt surveillance in the man’s office. Another way the Mayor tried to keep his opposition on a tight leash.

“It’s no problem for us, sir. Just doing our jobs.”

“I can appreciate that. If you need anything, give me a call.”

“We will.”

“I do apologise, but I will need to cut our meeting short. I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to come all the way down here.”

And just like that they were out of the door.

“Well that was…”

“Quick?”

Havoc chuckled. “You can say that again. Do you think he will ever see us for longer than five minutes?” His voice was amused, but there was an underlying tone of frustration that Roy knew all too well. He felt the same way. He only wished they could discuss things further with him. It would hurry their case along a lot quicker, but it was impossible. Not while Grumman was in his office.

A few hours later they were sitting in their office when Havoc’s phone finally rang. Roy could tell he was waiting for the call. Every so often he would glance towards the piece of tech and simply stare, as if willing for Riza to call with some news. Roy had to admit, he was concerned for his neighbours too. For poor James because of the look of pure misery on his face when they had arrived to pick them up. But also, for Riza. The woman looked as if her child was dying there and then, rather than just puking his guts out. The kid would be fine. Roy had experienced something similar growing up. He had gotten food poisoning from school. No big deal, but hell to deal with. To be honest, it seemed like an overreaction to take James to the hospital. He had been told to get to bed by his aunt, who regularly topped him up with water and small meals. Roy had shrugged to himself, chalking it up to a parent thing. Having no children, he wouldn’t know.

“Havoc,” he greeted. His expression turned to one of relief. “Hey Riza. No problem, we are on our way back. How is the little guy?” His partner fell silent as he listened. Then he frowned. “Riza,” he sighed, bringing his hand up to his face to pinch the bridge of his nose in exasperation. “I _told_ you we would give you a ride home.” Another sigh. “Fine. I’ll speak to you soon.” The call disconnected.

“Is everything okay?” Roy asked.

“The kid will be fine. Just a case of food poisoning.” _Bingo._ “Apparently a few of the kids from the school got it yesterday. She took the bus home.”

_It looks like Central Park Elementary hasn’t changed one bit._

However, Havoc didn’t seem particularly happy about something.

“See what I mean?” he asked, tossing the phone back on his desk. “She sure makes it hard for us,” he muttered to himself.

“Mean by what?”

“Everything always has to be done the hard way. She wouldn’t even call me for a ride home.”

“Maybe Riza could handle it? She’s a grown woman, Havoc.”

His partner glared at him. “That’s not my point. I said I would pick her up.”

“You’re at work, remember? Do you really think the Captain would take kindly to you leaving in the middle of the day to run a personal errand?”

Havoc just muttered under his breath. Roy sighed, leaving the man to stew in his sullen thoughts. 

* * *

 

Riza entered her apartment, exhausted. James was asleep in her arms. The overnight bag she had packed slipped off her shoulder and banged against her legs. With a sigh she moved her hand so it would slip off. It thumped into the floor unceremoniously. Riza didn’t care. She left it where it landed.

She was beyond tired. The few hours’ sleep she had gotten last night was not enough to sustain her throughout the day. Couple that with her worry for James and she was worn out, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Lack of food also played its part. The last time she ate properly was dinner yesterday. She had an apple that morning just after Rebecca left. Riza had been too concerned about James to eat anything at the hospital. The worry in her stomach made her feel sick.

After entering James’ room, Riza placed him on his bed. It felt like days since she had spent time in this room with him, but it was only a couple of hours. It was five o’clock. The bus ride back from the hospital had taken longer than expected. It was on the outskirts of Central which was quite a distance. But three buses later she was back in her apartment.

The doctor had told her it was just food poisoning and he will get over it either in a couple of hours, or a few days. James was prescribed medication she could have bought at the pharmacy herself and bed rest.

Once he was down, Riza made her way to the couch. She fully intended to make herself something to eat, but exhaustion overtook her. She succumbed to it finally, closing her eyes.

Riza’s eyes popped open after hearing something clatter. Groggily, she sat up, rubbing her pounding head. The tension in her neck was unbelievable after sleeping in such a slouched position. Why hadn’t she just lay down long ways on her couch? Riza groaned as she rolled her neck.

What surprised her, was seeing James in the kitchen with a pot in his hand. Another lay at his feet and the boy looked like he had been caught red handed.

“James, what are you doing?” she asked tiredly. This was not a sight she expected to see.

“Nothing Mum!” he lied, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

“Really? That pot just jumped from the cupboard itself, did it?”

“Yes?”

Riza shook her head. Any other day should have been amused at the whole situation. The boy had an uncanny ability to cheer her up, but Riza still felt too exhausted to deal with his shenanigans today.

“James –” she began, but was cut off by another voice.

“Yo, James?” Roy called softly from her hallway. “You ready yet?” The man in question entered the kitchen. He froze, his expression mirroring James’. Their gazes flicked from Riza to each other.

“Roy?” Riza asked in disbelief. Then she realised exactly what he was wearing. Just a pair of shorts. His chest was bare, revealing well defined abs, chest, and arms. Riza caught herself staring and looked away, blushing slightly. Inside, she felt mortified. _Oh my god!_ Her inner voice screamed at her, embarrassed. He looked _really_ good. His hair stood up in places, giving him a serious case of bed hair. The look was complete with stubble on his face. _God he looks good_.

_Stop staring at him!_

“Ah,” he looked sheepishly at her. “Sorry if we woke you.” He brought a hand up to his neck, rubbing it anxiously. His muscles contracted in kind, causing the heat in Riza’s cheeks to increase. _Good grief woman_. It wasn’t fair though. He looked sexy as hell right now and Riza was having a hard time dealing with it.

She had always known her neighbour was good looking. There was the flutter she felt in her stomach she experienced every time he smiled at her. But, right now, this was too much at once.

“No, you didn’t. What are you doing in my kitchen?” she asked lamely. Riza made a point to look him in the eye, fighting the urge to look lower.

“I asked him to help me Mum,” James interjected. “I wanted to surprise you with breakfast. I asked Roy what to do.”

“You left the apartment?” Riza asked him sharply, all thoughts of a certain shirtless neighbour forgotten.

James shifted from foot to foot. “Yeah,” he mumbled.

Riza sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “James, you _know_ not to do that,” Riza stressed. Even at the thought of it, fear lanced through her as she had visions of someone taking him away from her in the hallway. “You don’t leave the apartment unless I, Rebecca or Jean, are with you. Do you understand?” Her question was asked with a little more force than necessary. James looked close to tears.

“I’m sorry Mum,” he replied quietly. “I just wanted to surprise you. You were scared yesterday and whenever I am scared you always give me something to cheer me up. I wanted to give you breakfast.”

Her worry and irritation melted away at her child’s thoughtfulness. “Come here.” James dropped the pot and scurried over as Riza knelt down to his level. “Sorry honey. I just don’t like you going outside by yourself. When you are older you can, but not right now. That was the deal, right?” James nodded obediently. “It is only to keep you safe.”

“I just wanted it to be a nice surprise,” he mumbled.

“And it will be, I am sure,” she smiled. James’ gaze snapped up, looking hopeful.

“We can do it?”

“We?”

“I’ll help him make it,” Roy interjected with a soft smile. Riza had forgotten he was there. She had also forgotten about his state of undress if the heat coursing through her was anything to go by. “We wouldn’t want you to burn the house down, would we kiddo?”

“Nope!” he exclaimed happily.

“Just…” Riza trailed off. The pair looked at her expectantly. They each shared an almost conspiratorial look and it worried her. “Don’t make a mess,” she sighed.

The bedroom door closed quickly behind her. Riza leaned on it heavily, letting out a shaky breath.

“Get a grip Riza,” she muttered to herself over and over, closing her eyes. However, whenever she did she was greeted by images of her shirtless guest. “Gah!” Riza quickly changed and hopped in the shower, letting the cool water wash over her. Riza rested her head on the tile. The image of Roy steadying her as she fell, her body pressed against his came into her mind unbidden. The way she had been leaning against that rock hard chest –

“Stop it!” she muttered, her palm hitting the off button on the shower forcefully. Her butterflies were out of control now.

Donning a slightly oversized hoody and a pair of leggings, Riza re-entered her kitchen. Her cold shower did nothing to alleviate her feelings towards Roy, so she gave up. _May as well appreciate the view_ , she thought to herself.

What made it worse, however, was the sight of flour in his hair and a bit on his nose. She looked downright adorable and sexy at the same time. It was ridiculous and grossly unfair.

“Ta-da!” they both announced, presenting the food on the table with a flourish. Riza had expected some mismatched selection of food, but it looked incredibly good. Omelette, bacon rolls, sausage, toast… It had everything. Riza’s mouth was watering just looking at it.

“Do you like it Mum?” James asked nervously. Riza smiled, scooping him off the ground.

“I _love_ it honey. I am assuming you made everything, yes? Roy just supervised?” James giggled.

“The kid is a natural,” Roy told her with a wink. He too joined her at the table, scooping two omelettes onto his plate. They were small in size, but certainly looked delicious. “He will be a chef when he grows up. I am calling it now!”

“Yeah!” James shouted in response. He wiggled out of his mother’s arms and hopped into his own chair, digging in as soon as possible.

“Thank you,” Riza told Roy. She truly meant it. This obviously meant the world to James, judging by his reaction when she had scolded him earlier. The fact Roy had been such a good sport about it pleased her too. He was a really good guy and Riza would be loath to lose him as a friend. She also realised, he was someone she could count on.

He had come with Jean to her house to pick up James yesterday. He was concerned about her son while he had been ill. Roy had offered to and carried her bags while moving James to their car. The evidence was stacked in his favour, and Riza was glad of it.

Roy Mustang was definitely someone she wanted to keep around.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slightly longer one for you! Filled with some cute af fluff and a little bit of backstory. Enjoy!

“That will be one hundred cenz,” the vendor explained, handing Roy his cup of coffee.

“Here you go. Keep the change.”

“Much obliged,” the man grinned.

Lifting the travel cup to his lips, Roy savoured the smell of the freshly brewed beverage. It was early Saturday morning. The sun had risen an hour ago and Roy had already been out for his run. The cold October air had nipped at his face while running through Central and it continued to do so, even with the added warmth of the coffee.

The run had worked wonders on his anxiety regarding his father’s event. He had yet to find someone to go with. He had asked his foster siblings, but, understandably, they declined. His aunt had filled them in on what had happened between Roy and the Mayor and they were equally as unhappy as Chris. Well, unhappy was the wrong word. Furious was the appropriate one. At least they all had his back on this one. He smirked as his oldest siblings, Claire and Ben threatened to kick his father’s ass. “No one messes with our baby brother,” she had growled, her twin agreeing enthusiastically. The two red heads had hair that matched their fiery temper.

“Be careful!” someone called from the empty play park nearby. Recognising the voice, Roy grinned as he spotted two familiar heads of blonde hair. One stood at the bottom of a tall climbing frame, hands on her hips and head craned upwards to watch her son. The other was zipping up the ropes like a monkey, obviously made for climbing those things.

“I am taller than you,” he proclaimed happily, swinging like a true monkey.

“Oh yeah?” Riza challenged. The blonde surprised him and leaped onto the frame, climbing up as quickly as her son had. The young man looked down at his mother, his mouth open in shock. Within a few minutes she had reached the same height as her son, beaming down at him.

“Hey, no fair!” he complained.

“Not fair,” Riza corrected, sticking her tongue out at him. “Here.” Riza offered him her hand. Looping both legs around the ropes to anchor herself and leaning her body against the metal pole in the middle to keep her steady, she lifted James up and onto the flat piece of metal at the top. He stood atop the frame, beaming proudly

“I am king of the castle,” he sang.

“Oh mighty king,” Riza announced with a flourish of her hand towards the trees to her left. Roy chuckled as he watched them. He asked the vendor for another coffee and wandered over to the park. “How will you help your subjects? They are all scared of the Halloween monsters!”

“I will defeat the monsters!” James shouted. He swung his arm like a sword chopping something. He wobbled and Riza jumped in fright before steadying him. He giggled.

“Having fun?” Roy called up, moving around so they could see him.

“There is one there!” Riza announced. One hand remained on James’ jacket while the other raised to point a finger at Roy. The grin on her face was infectious. “King James, you must defeat the monster!”

“Yeah!” James jumped into the air. For a second, Riza lost her grip and both adult’s felt fear flash through them at the sight of James in the air. However, his mother scrambled and caught his hand and slowed his descent. Luckily, his feet hit the rope securely and he swung his way down towards his “foe”, completely oblivious. Roy watched as Riza sagged in relief, both catching each other’s eye as if to say “did that really happen?” Chuckling in disbelief, the pair watched him descend.

“I am here for you monster!” James announced. He was almost to the bottom of the frame, about five feet away from Roy when the older man placed his coffee cups on the ground. James landed and “stabbed” Roy. He decided to play along and clutched his side. “You got me!” he shouted as he gasped in “pain”. Roy fell to his knees then onto the ground. It was cold and wet, but what made up for it was the sound of James’ laughter. “Yeah!” he shouted. “I did it Mum! I beat the monster!”

“King James! King James!” Riza chanted, lifting him onto her shoulders. She even did a victory lap around the climbing frame. Roy couldn’t help but laugh as he watched them. A small pang of disappointment went through him as he wished he could share something like this with someone.

A gloved hand appeared before his eyes. Glancing up, Riza stood over him equipped with her lovely smile. She pulled him up, brushing the gravel off his black overcoat.

“Thank you for playing along,” she leaned in and whispered. They both watched James as he continued his victory lap, whooping as he went. Roy felt her hot breath on his cheek. It sent a shiver down his spine. Luckily, it was cold enough that he could play it off as that.

He stooped down to collect his coffee. “Don’t mention it. If it makes him happy then I am glad to do it.”

Riza spotted both coffees in his hand and looked away. Did she look… disappointed?

“Sorry, we won’t keep you if you need to be anywhere.” Her tone was causal, but Roy definitely hadn’t imagined that look on her face. He thought back to their interaction in her kitchen a couple of weeks ago. She had looked so pretty as she had blushed, then Roy had realised exactly _why_ she was blushing. He wasn’t exactly in an appropriate state of dress to visit a friend and neighbour. He hadn’t even thought about it until she disappeared into her bedroom. But it was too late to do anything because James was already hauling ingredients out of the fridge. He knocked the tray of eggs off the counter and Roy just caught them as they hit the floor. It was then he decided the boy couldn’t be left alone in the kitchen. Roy didn’t want to have to clean up _too_ much mess.

Deciding to experiment, Roy replied. “I do actually have somewhere to be.” The look was back! She really _was_ disappointed. “But,” he added. With a flourish, he handed her over the coffee cup. “I know it’s cold and from the way you are shivering I guessed you could use this.”

Riza stared at the coffee then back up at him. His smile not wavering, Roy watched as the slightest hint of pink coloured her cheeks.

“Thank you,” she replied, her voice quiet. As the cup hit her hands she sighed in relief, enjoying the warmth it spread through her digits.

“Anyway, I have got time before I need to run my errands. Do you want some company?”

Riza grinned. “I would like that.”

The pair wandered around the park for an hour with James, the three of them chatting away. James told him all about school and the boy was incredibly impressed when Roy revealed he too had attended the same school.

“My aunt is very wealthy,” he bragged, a faux haughty look crossing his features. Riza hit his arm playfully and he chuckled. “Nah, my dad paid for it all.”

“Did you grow up with your aunt?”

Roy nodded. He would need to be careful here. They were treading into dangerous territory. “Right here in Central. I’ve lived here my entire life. Where did you grow up?” The aim was to divert attention away from his family. He was happy to discuss his childhood living with Chris, but people inevitably began to question his parents. Roy had asked without thinking, forgetting that Havoc had told him that was a no-go subject. The pained look on Riza’s face was enough to remind him. “I’m sorry, I asked without thinking. You don’t need to tell me.”

Riza watches James as if contemplating something. Apparently she was satisfied with what she observed. It was probably to determine if the boy was close enough to overhear their conversation.

“I grew up in the east in the middle of nowhere.” Her small smile and wistful look as he watched James climb a nearby tree led Roy to believe she had happy childhood. “I loved it. My mother, father, and I would walk for hours on the weekends, travelling through the fields and woods, exploring everywhere we could find.” Roy sensed there was a very large “but” coming up very soon. “I learned how to ride a horse, shoot a rifle, and climb all the trees, much to my mother’s concern,” she chuckled.

“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree then,” Roy motioned to her son. Riza nodded, but the wistful look was gone. Roy felt dread begin to edge its way up his spine.

“Then my mother died. And my father along with her.” The bitterness in Riza’s voice almost made him take a step back. Wait, Havoc had said her father was still alive? “He was so overcome with grief that he took to drink. That made it a very difficult childhood.”

“Riza, I’m so sorry.” He truly was. He knew a thing or two about shitty dads, having one himself. Roy could only imagine what drink would do to a man in that situation. Growing up at Chris’ he had seen his fair share of drunks. People could be happier, loud, or angry. There was no in between. Riza implied he was definitely an angry drunk. The thought of a father beating his child while drunk made his blood simmer. The thought of someone doing that to a young Riza? Well, it was enough to make him see red. He hoped the bastard would never cross his path. Roy wouldn’t be held responsible for his actions.

The blonde shrugged. “What happened is in the past. I focus all my energy on James now because I don’t want him to have the same childhood I did. It’s too late for me, but not for him. That boy deserves the world,” she smiled, her expression softening as she watched him. He had reached the apex of his tree and grinned proudly at his mother. “And I aim to give it to him.”

Roy watched her as she spoke. There was sadness in her eyes as she watched her son. As soon as the boy turned to see her, it was gone. In its place was happiness and pride. Roy had never noticed it before, but as he had gotten to know the small family, he had observed their behaviour and body language with each other. They truly were happy, that much was obvious. But when James wasn’t watching or with Riza, there was a sadness about her that Roy was loath to see. It made him want to give her a hug and tell her everything would be okay. After hearing her tale of her younger years, Roy had determined it had everything to do with that. Shortly after moving in he had heard arguing in the hall one night, but it was late and he was half asleep, so he chalked it up to a couple arguing. However, what was peculiar was the door that slammed was very close to his apartment. Had that been Riza and her father arguing?

“Does your father come round often?” he asked softly. Riza stiffened.

He wasn’t sure if she was going to answer his question. The blonde gripped her now empty coffee cup tightly, the cardboard protesting against the pressure. “Yes.” That was all she offered so that was all Roy was going to take.

“If you ever need anything, you know you can ask me for help. Okay?”

Riza turned to face him, her eyes scrutinising his. But Roy had nothing to hide. There was no other motive besides looking out for a good friend. Seemingly satisfied, Riza sighed. “Thank you. I would… appreciate that.” She muttered something else under her breath. Roy didn’t quite catch it, but it something along the lines of “another gun being useful”. The dread jumped from his spine to his stomach.

“Mum!” James called, agile as a cat as he hopped from the lowest tree branch to the ground. “Did you see me? I was right at the top!” he shouted excitedly, leaping into her arms. Roy leaned away to avoid being struck by one of the child’s flailing limbs. Riza was apparently used to this because she caught him effortlessly, stepping in the right direction to avoid the foot that had been heading straight for her knee.

“I did! You were so high I thought we might lose you in the clouds!”

James giggled. “Don’t be silly Mum.”

“Okay then,” she agreed sullenly, sticking her tongue out at James. “I can be as silly as I want because _I_ am an adult.”

“No you can’t! We aren’t allowed to be silly. Mrs. Short says so.”

Riza snorted. “You can be as silly as you want my boy. You have my permission.”

Roy watched as his face lit up. “Really?” His voice was so full of wonder.

“Of course. Kids are supposed to be silly. But you shouldn’t misbehave. There is a difference between the two.”

The scene warmed Roy’s heart. Sure, Riza had what sounded like a terrible childhood, but she had turned out more than okay. It wasn’t “too late” for her at all. She wasn’t perfect, no one was, but Riza Hawkeye was damn near close, Roy realised. The way she worked so hard just to give her son a good life spoke of dedication that Roy could only dream of. He had no one in his life to dedicate himself to, so he had turned it to his job. It worked in his favour. He made good money and was well respected among his peers, but at what cost? He went home to an empty apartment every night. He looked forward to seeing Riza and James because he only wished he could be as happy as them with someone else.

The continued their banter and Roy found himself smiling once more. Riza caught his eye, but the warm feeling spreading across his chest and into his stomach stopped him from looking away. He didn’t want to stop spending time with them, that much was certain. When Riza realised he wasn’t going to turn away, the light blush he adored so much spread across her cheeks, but she returned his smile nonetheless.

* * *

Riza walked in step with Roy back to their apartment building. James rushed on ahead, but made sure to remain in her line of sight. He knew better than to disappear. As they walked they had moved closer. Whether it was subconsciously or not, the jury was still out on that one. Once or twice their hands had brushed by each other as they chatted causing a very pleasant sensation to spread up her arm. His hands were bare, while hers were gloved, but the feeling of comfort was still there.

After their discussion in the park about her childhood this wasn’t the direction Riza imagined her afternoon taking. It had been some heavy stuff. Things she hadn’t even shared with Havoc, someone she had known for years. But Riza had found herself wanting to open up to Roy. He was somebody that she could trust and Riza felt she could talk to him about absolutely anything. After the reveal she figured he would turn and run. But he hadn’t. He adamantly told her that it wasn’t too late for her and she had turned out completely normal. “In fact, better than normal,” he had grinned. The comment soothed her fears and warmed her heart.

They had clicked the more time they spent together. Riza enjoyed his easy smiles, his sense of humour, and how good he was with her kid. James adored him which pleased her no end. Lately her thoughts had often turned to thinking about a possible future with him. There were still her initial fears about any relationship. She had been devastated once before. She didn’t want to live through it again. But Roy was different, she thought. The man always seemed genuinely pleased to see her. It may have been a trick of her imagination, some wishful part of her, but it had happened too often now for that to be the case.

Good god, was she actually falling for him?

It certainly felt like it.

“I will be over soon,” Roy told her, breaking her from her thoughts. He exited the lift with a knowing look, one that told her he had noticed her silence. But he didn’t seem to mind. With a grin he was out of the piece of machinery and into his own apartment.

“Come _on_ , Mum,” James whined. “You have been quiet all the way home. I’m hungry.” The boy’s whining continued and Riza rolled her eyes at him.

“All right then, your majesty,” she replied drily, digging her house key out of her pocket. “I better get you fed if I don’t want to awaken the beast.”

James giggled. “Yeah! Awake the beast! Awake the beast!” he chanted loudly.

“Get changed into dry clothes then we will eat,” she grinned at his antics.

James whooped and disappeared into his room at a breakneck speed.

Riza had invited Roy over for lunch after their morning in the park. The thought of him leaving them so soon hadn’t sat well with her, so, impulsively, she had asked him over. Roy agreed immediately, as eager at the prospect as Riza, although she was better at hiding it. She hoped.

Ten minutes later a sharp knock drew Riza out of the kitchen. Knowing who it would be, she called James. “Could you get that honey?”

Without a reply the boy burst from his bedroom. Hit t-shirt was on backwards and he only had one sock on as he opened the door. Riza just shook her head at her son. “Roy!” he announced brightly.

“Hey James. Going for a new look?”

James looked down at himself, confused. “Oh, my sock!”

“Yeah, that’s what I was talking about,” Roy chuckled as he stepped over the threshold. James returned to his bedroom to retrieve said sock, sliding on the wooden flooring with practiced ease as he did so.

“I should have known better than to let him dress himself,” Riza chuckled, re-entering the kitchen. Currently there was flour all over her hands from the rolls she had been preparing. There were six in total, two on each plate. James’ was set apart so Riza remembered which one was his. He liked salad on his roll, but didn’t like red cabbage so Riza had to pick all that out. James was convinced it would kill him if he did eat it. His roll had to be buttered but, like his toast, there couldn’t be lumps of butter on it otherwise he wouldn’t eat it. It had to be thinly spread. It also had to be arranged so the meat was on the bottom of the roll, the salad on the top. His mother had been baffled by his request first time round. But he whined saying the other way made the bread “soggy”. Sure. Okay.

“Do you need a hand?” Roy asked, following her.

Riza shook her head. “Everything is ready. Typical, you come in after all the hard work is done,” Riza added sarcastically, but not without a grin.

“My plan worked beautifully.” It was the smile he shot her that was beautiful. It was crooked, the right side of his mouth quirking upwards. The way he was leaning against the door frame, his arms folded and t-shirt tight against his biceps, was unfair. Riza rolled her eyes, but grinned nonetheless.

“Well, I can’t have you feeling totally useless. Could you grab me three glasses? They are in that cupboard there.” Roy did as she asked and retrieved the glassware from the cupboard she pointed at. “Could you make up some juice? Help yourself.”

“Aye, aye captain.”

Their companionable silence was broken shortly afterwards as James entered the living room. Seeing that his two playmates were busy preparing lunch, he meandered into the kitchen to offer his services.

“Can I help?”

“Of course honey. Take these,” Riza handed him a handful of cutlery. “To the table and set it. Do you remember how to do it?”

James considered her question. She watched as he racked his brain for the correct information, his head cocking to one side and a small frown appearing on his face. “I think so,” he replied uncertainly.

“Just do your best,” she smiled. The determination in his face was precious as he turned to face his task.

Riza returned to preparing a salad for the adults. She knew James wouldn’t touch it, except maybe the slices of cucumber. Roy had begun to move bowls and plates over to the table for her, which was appreciated. Riza had to admit, it was really nice having him there, both as a presence and to help her prepare the meal.

The food went down a storm. Both boys were full, leaning back in their chairs with both hands on their stomachs. Riza was sure James was just copying Roy, because the boy had watched his every move since they returned from the park. It was endearing to her and made her happy that her son had another male figure to look up to.

“Can we go and play your Xbox Roy?” James asked excitedly.

“Sorry kiddo, I’ve got to nip out for a while.” The disappointment on his face was damn near heart-breaking, but Riza found herself slightly amused by her son’s reaction. He could be such a drama queen. “I tell you what though,” he replied quickly. “We can do it tomorrow, if that’s all right with Mum?”

Riza pretended to mull over the question, complete with a few “hmm, I don’t knows” thrown in for good measure.  “I suppose so,” she finally replied, her tone dramatic as if it was a big deal.

James whooped, throwing his hands up in the air.

“Why don’t you go and get your bag ready for school on Monday?” Riza asked him. At the horrified look on his face, she reasoned with him. “If you do it now then you can get more time playing video games tomorrow.”

Without another word he was off. Roy and Riza just laughed.

“Would you like a hand cleaning up?” he asked, standing from his chair.

“That would be great. Thank you.”

The pair settled into an easy rhythm as Roy washed the dishes while Riza dried and returned them to their rightful place. It was so natural, Riza was surprised. The fact that it was such a domestic task was not lost on her. So Riza questioned herself. She had thought she could see a future with Roy in it. Could it actually be a possibility now? It appeared that their hands brushing while Roy delivered the now clean crockery into her hands was more than just an accident. But, who was initiating it? Were they both? Riza was almost afraid to meet his gaze, afraid to see the same look in his eyes, a feeling that she no doubt shared. To want something more than just friends.

That was how Riza found herself sitting painfully close to him on her couch at eight o’clock on a Sunday night. James was wedged between their bodies, out for the count after his busy day. Riza had invited Roy round for dinner that night, as a thank you for keeping James entertained for a couple of hours.

However, the presence of her son didn’t stop the feeling of how _aware_ of him she was. The hair on the back of her neck stuck up in response to the arm he had draped behind her on the back of the couch. His fingers were inches from the base of her neck. Sneaking a glance at his face as she checked on James after he stirred, she watched as he continued to stare at the television ahead of them. His face was intent as he watched the film, concentrating on the storyline. Sensing eyes on him, Roy looked up before Riza could look away.

But when their gaze met, she found she didn’t want to.

His expression was slightly puzzled at first, the look one gets when they find someone staring at them. Then it relaxed and it was unreadable. Riza gasped softly as she looked at the intensity being reflected back at her in his eyes. Her lips parted in response to the slight creak in the leather as Roy inched closer to her _painfully_ slowly before pausing. She felt warmth spread across her body, the butterflies in her stomach apparently trapped in a hurricane as she stared into the eyes which searched hers. If he was asking for confirmation she wanted to scream “hell yes!”. She was trapped in the best way.

Before they could both begin to move to close the gap, James stirred between them loudly. They jumped like teenagers, as if afraid of being caught.

Riza began to laugh softly at the absurdity of it all, with Roy doing the same. Their gazes met once more and Riza lay her head on the back of the couch, eyes shifting to the ceiling above her. Did that really just almost happen?

However, instead of the comfortable cushion her head was also resting on something solid. _His hand_. Roy didn’t seem to mind though. He shifted in his seat. As a result, the hand that had rested underneath her head moved also and Riza lifted her head to allow it to. Instead of moving away like Riza expected he shifted so the palm was against her scalp. Oh God. It felt _good_.

“I was wondering,” he began uncertainly. Riza returned her attention to him, the feeling of his hand moving against her scalp raising goose flesh on her arms. She hummed in response, her attention being drawn away by his fingers now tangled unintentionally in her hair. She thought of the other social implications tied to the action and felt herself blushing. “I have to go to a benefit at the end of the month. It is some stupid work thing.” Was he asking her out? “Would you like to come with me?” He was! “You don’t have to of course, it’s just…”

“Yeah?” Riza prompted, interesting to see where his sentence would go.

“To be honest it would make the whole thing infinitely better if you were there.”

She felt a smile spread across her face. At least they were on the same page.

“I’d love to.”

Not expecting that response, Roy’s expression turned to one of surprise. Then, she watched as it softened, a smile slowly spreading its way across his handsome face. The prospect of attending this benefit with Roy sent a thrill through her. Excitement pooled in her stomach and for once, she didn’t feel so afraid.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go lads the beginning of the ANGST. Do not fret though, there will still be fluff and happiness but for plot purposes it had to be done... and because i love writing it so much

“Close your mouth Roy, you will catch flies like that,” James told him, watching the older man, a crooked smile on his face. Catalina broke into a fit of laughter while Riza blushed prettily in front of him. James looked between his aunt and him, very confused.

“James,” Riza scolded, but she was laughing.

“What? You tell me that all the time and he was doing the same thing.” There was an innocence in his voice. He truly did not understand the social implications of his words, but that was fine.

“I was simply admiring a lovely lady,” Roy told James, shooting Riza a smirk. It was all a ploy to get her to blush again and she did.

“My mum is really lovely! She lets me stay up as late as I want,” James told him excitedly. “And she gave me extra sweets because it is Halloween tomorrow.”

Catalina appeared to have recovered, wiping the tears from her eyes. “That was brilliant,” she choked out, continuing to laugh. Normally Roy would have shot her a glare, but he was too happy in that moment to care.

Riza stood before him in her living room in a floor length ball gown, nervously checking her appearance and smoothing invisible wrinkles. It just brushed the floor as she walked, giving the impression that she was floating, her heels obscured by the fabric. The dress was a deep midnight blue with a high neck and back. There were silver diamonds sewn into the bodice. There were only a few at the bottom of the skirt and as his gaze travelled up the dress, the number grew until there was a solid chain around the neck line. As the light caught the stones, it sparkled like a rainbow. It wasn’t too much that it was gaudy and flashy. It was perfect for her.

Her hair was tied back off her face and pinned up in a hair clip. Her bangs stayed in their usual place, sweeping across her eyes. Roy couldn’t stop thinking of the way she had looked at him after they had almost kissed two weeks ago. Ever since then he had noticed they were spending more time together and he had longed to see that look once more.

 Not much else had happened, Roy had been busy with work and James was always around when he went over for dinner, which had rose to the frequency of twice a week. He would use any excuse at this point to spend time with the small family. Understandably, Riza didn’t want to inform her son of any progressions in their relationship. She didn’t want to get his hopes up, only for them to be dashed if they didn’t work out.

Roy offered her his arm with a grin. Returning it, she grasped his offered limb. “Shall we?”

Riza nodded. “Be good for Rebecca, James,” she warned. Catalina was taking him back to her house for the night. Havoc was joining him at the benefit, but in an unofficial capacity. Grumman would also be there and had somehow managed to clear an opportunity for Havoc to get into the Mayor’s office while it was unoccupied. That man had a way of getting around things that Roy wasn’t sure he wanted to know what it involved. After a sweep and a rummage through his father’s office, he would meet with Roy and slip him anything that might be valuable. Looking at the woman on his arm, he found himself simply wanting to enjoy the night rather than run a covert operation behind everyone’s back. He never thought he’d actually _want_ to go to one of these things. It hit him quite hard that he had found a reason to.

“I will,” he replied obediently. Riza held out her arms to him and he gave his mother a kiss.

“And you be good too,” Riza added, directing her attention to Catalina.

“Oh, we will have a _blast_ ,” the brunette replied, throwing an arm around the young boy. “Have you ever seen Jaws, James?”

Riza stiffened next to him causing Catalina to cackle in reply. “Don’t you dare,” Riza warned. “I will not have a repeat of _you know what_.”

“I’m _kidding_ ,” she giggled.

“What’s Jaws?” James asked, looking thoroughly confused. Roy chuckled to himself.

“Just a really old film your Mum used to be terrified of.”

“A scary film?” he whispered fearfully. Something told Roy he had been subject to watching a “scary film” before.

Roy raised his eyebrows, smirking at Riza. “Terrified?”

“I hate sharks, okay?” she replied defensively with a huff, stomping towards the front door.

“Wouldn’t go anywhere near water for a week,” Catalina whispered loudly to him. “She stunk to high heaven.”

“How old was she?”

“Eighteen.”

“Okay, I’m going now. Bye!”

Both adults laughed after her, leaving James even more confused. Roy rushed out the door after them with a wave and a grin. He caught up to her outside the elevator. She stood with her arms folded and a frown on her face as she impatiently waited for the piece of machinery to arrive. The only sound in the hallway was her huffing and her foot tapping on the floor.

“So, sharks huh?” Riza glared at him and he chuckled. She continued to stomp into the elevator, punching the button for the first floor with more force than was required.

“I don’t like their eyes,” she mumbled quietly. Roy had to strain to hear her. “And all those teeth…” Riza shuddered.

Roy smiled at her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder in comfort. The more time they spent together, Roy found himself looking for ways to touch her. Whether it was to brush a piece of lint off her clothes or tuck her fringe behind her ear. She was incredibly endearing and Roy wanted to spend more time together than they possibly could.

“I only got over my fear of people in costumes when I was twenty.”

Riza craned her neck to look at him. “Really?”

“Really?” he repeated with a grin at her tone. It was one that suggested his fear was a silly one. “Sharks?”

“Point taken.”

“I used to _hate_ them as a kid. Every time one came out at a birthday party I would run in the opposite direction. At least you are less likely to run into your fear.”

The elevator dinged and they exited. There was a car waiting for them at the front door. A limo, to be exact. Roy knew it was coming, his father had told him so. He recalled the conversation, remembering how his father told Roy that “he would not embarrass him by showing up in a taxi”. His stomach clenched at the sight, but plastered a smile on his face as the driver opened the door for them both.

Riza looked around in awe as she settled. The limo was very plush, complete with three bottles of champagne on a counter opposite the door they had entered. There was a television hanging from the ceiling which displayed the logo for the benefit they were attending tonight.

“This is… very fancy,” she finally settled on, still looking around the car. “Does Central PD always make you travel in style like this?” Her grin was back and it was infectious.

Although initially confused by her statement, Roy shrugged. “It is a special occasion,” he replied smoothly. He had forgot he hadn’t told her the entire truth about the reason for his attendance tonight. The Mayor simply wanted him there because Roy made him look good. Having a son who was one of the top detectives in Central was impressive, although Roy knew his intentions were not going to be honourable. It was likely he would be dragged around politicians as his father bragged about him. At least with Riza here with him he had an opportunity to excuse himself.

Roy went quite as they travelled, mulling over his plan for tonight. Havoc would infiltrate City Hall with the help of Grumman and his staff. He would access his office with staff from the Finance Department under the guise of needing more information regarding their budget planning. The Mayor had already cleared access for them and Havoc would slip in and have a rummage around and possibly take a peek at his computer. If the Mayor was going to be up to anything suspicious then it would most likely be on there. At this point they would take anything, shipping manifests, bank mandates, timetables… anything that would pinpoint the illegal movement of items across the borders of their neighbouring countries. It wasn’t entirely legal, but neither was what his father was doing. And while two wrongs did not make a right, it was the only way they pinpoint the evidence needed to bring him down. Besides, the Mayor had given them access to his office and files. He just wasn’t entirely aware of who was looking at it.

But if there was nothing to hide then he would have no problem with Havoc taking a look.

“You okay?” Riza asked suddenly, drawing his attention away from his thoughts. She looked slightly concerned, a frown gracing her features.

“Yeah, fine,” he reassured her with a grin.

“You’ve been quite for the past five minutes.”

Whoops. “Sorry, my mind was elsewhere.” When he didn’t elaborate, Riza simply nodded. The excitement that had been present in her eyes in her apartment had died down to an ember. Shit. That wasn’t what he wanted. He certainly didn’t want Riza to get the wrong impression. He shifted in his seat and took a gamble, grasping one of her hands that were currently folded in her lap. “Sorry. At the mention of work I got distracted. I have had a busy week and in our line of work it is hard to just leave it all at the office.”

She searched his gaze for any hint of a lie, but there was nothing. She nodded with a small smile. “That’s okay. I get it.”

It wasn’t a lie. Both he and Havoc were technically still working. However he still loathed the feeling that crept up when he held the whole truth from Riza. He hated lying to her.

But it was for her own safety.

That was always the case.

Roy had never gotten close with anyone besides his partner and his childhood friends. Because if he did then it was someone else his father could use against him. It had happened before. Roy had refused to do something inane, he couldn’t even remember what it was. The next day one of his aunt had been in a car accident. What tipped him off was a very unpleasant phone call from his father inquiring about her condition.

His father was lucky he didn’t go over to his home and throttle him there and then.

And so the leash had been tightened. The man was ruining his life and he despised him for it. There was a small part of Roy that hated himself for letting him.

The limo pulled up in front of one of Central’s grandest hotels. Paparazzi flooded the red carpet in front of it, each craning to get a glimpse of who was exiting the car next. Other people were already outside and chatting to reporters. He recognised various politicians as well as some celebrities.

“Uh…” Riza voiced her uncertainty at the sight.

“I know,” Roy replied grimly. He had forgotten about this little fact. The Mayor was definitely one for putting on a show, especially if it made himself look better. So he always had very high profile people invited to his events. Naturally, the paparazzi followed. This was bad. They would see them both together and it would be further fuel for his father. Not that he planned on hiding Riza for the whole night, but out of context they would look like a couple. Riza groaned internally at the complications of it all. This was not how he wanted to announce to the world, or his father, that they were together. Not that they even _were_ together yet – oh my god Roy, shut up and stop complicating things further.

“Why are they all here?” Riza wrung her hands nervously, peeking out the dark window.

Watching her reaction, Roy instantly felt guilty. This wasn’t her world and it was a daunting experience walking through that sea of vipers. Having a camera shoved in your face was not pleasant.

“The Mayor likes to make a show of things,” he explained, trying and failing to hide the bitterness in his voice. “This is all for show. Don’t worry, they won’t be paying attention to us.”

Roy nodded for the driver to open the door. He exited first before offering Riza his hand. Her eyes darted back and forth nervously, taking in the scene. To Roy’s dismay, the cameras began to flash eagerly. Not wanting to play his father’s game, he grasped her hand tightly and led them to the front door. Things went from bad to worse as a familiar voice reached his ears.

“Ah, Roy. You made it.” The sound made his skin crawl. Turning to face his father, Roy felt that familiar spark of anger whenever he saw his face. Thankfully, he inherited most of his looks from his mother. The only way to make a connection between the two men was through a birth certificate. His father’s hair was brown and wavy, and was styled in a way that his fringe had been swept up and away from his face. His piercing blue eyes bored into his, attempting to unnerve him no doubt. However, Roy had been playing this game for too long to be intimidated by such things.

“Hello Mayor,” Roy greeted as civilly as he could. He didn’t miss the pull of a frown on his forehead before it smoothed out into a grin. That grin _also_ made his skin crawl.

“And who is this lovely lady you have brought with you?” he asked. Roy stiffened feeling the anger grow as he all but leered at Riza.

“Riza Hawkeye,” she introduced herself, offering him a friendly smile.

“This is the Mayor of Central,” Roy offered. He gulped before announcing the next part, not wanting to even admit to Riza that this snake of a man was in any way related to him. “Richard Mustang.”

If she made any connection between the two she didn’t let it show. Instead, she smiled again at him. “It is a pleasure to meet you.”

“And you my dear.” He grasped her free hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss is. It almost made Roy sick and his father knew it. This was all a show, a sick twisted game that the bastard enjoyed playing. “You didn’t tell me you were keeping such lovely company Roy,” he chuckled.

“She is a friend,” he replied casually. He moved one hand to her arm in an effort to steer her away from his father. “Shall we go and get a drink?” Riza nodded. “If you will excuse us.”

“I will catch you later my boy.” Although it was said jovially it felt like a threat or a warning. Roy’s grip on Riza’s arm tightened. 

* * *

“Richard Mustang,” Riza muttered quietly to herself. “Mustang,” she repeated, her voice louder. The penny dropped. “As in… _you_?”

Roy’s grip on her tightened once more. He continued to steer them through the crowd as he nodded and greeted other people there. “Yes,” he confirmed, although he didn’t seem particularly happy about it.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked. They arrived at the bar and Roy ordered a cocktail for them both. But she wasn’t interested in a drink. Roy’s father was _the Mayor_? How does one forget to mention that? And the whole thing about the paparazzi being outside? She couldn’t help but feel ambushed by that fact and it stung a little. When Roy had said this would be a “work thing” she hadn’t thought much of it. Riza had thought she would at least see Havoc here, but it wasn’t work related at all. He had lied to her.

But why?

“It is not something I like people to know.” he replied urgently, his eyes scanning the crowd around them. Obviously checking to see if anyone had overheard. Riza could understand that. She didn’t want anyone to know about her father. But _the Mayor_? A little warning would have been nice. She could have made herself more presentable. She felt way out of her league here.

She should have known by what Roy was wearing. He looked incredibly good in his black tux. Riza was almost rendered speechless as she had opened the door to her apartment for him. At least she could have hid her smirk and appreciative look behind the door as she ushered him inside. Taking a closer look at it now she realised just how expensive it looked.

“Sorry,” he replied suddenly looking very tired. “I should have warned you. To be honest, I –”

Roy’s explanation was cut off by someone announcing on a microphone at the opposite end of the room that dinner was being served, and could they all make their way to the dining room. The lights in the room dimmed, allowing the fairy lights around the foyer to really shine. The room was beautiful in its golden glow. The high, glass chandelier reflected the light back at them, giving it the effect that it was twinkling. The whole place was decorated in varying shades of beige and orange, obviously going with the fall theme. Pumpkins were situated on either side of each doorway. Instead of basic faces being carved into it, there were intricate and artistic patterns.

Roy didn’t get another chance to explain further because once they were sat at a table, six other people joined them. Riza still felt slightly hurt at not being told the whole truth. Then there was the fact that he had referred to her as a friend. Surely they were past that, weren’t they? Not much had happened in the way of progressing their relationship, but they were definitely more than friends. Why would he not want to tell his father that?

Perhaps she had read the whole situation wrong.

Dinner was divine. The food was exquisite. Much fancier than anything Riza had ever ate in her life. It was probably more expensive than her weekly shop. She made idle chit chat with others around the table. Roy seemed to be playing a part as he spoke too. The replies he gave sounded so false to her ears. It was definitely for the benefit of the smarmy, fancy pants lawyer who kept trying to engage him in conversation. He even began to eye her up in a way that made her want to vomit. Roy however, didn’t comment on the matter, opting to stare at his food instead as he ate.

She had definitely read it wrong.

Her appetite left her by the time desert came. Partly due to embarrassment, the other due to the way Mr. Smug Lawyer was eyeing her up. His wife or his girlfriend was either oblivious or used to his behaviour.

“Would you like to dance?” Roy asked suddenly.

“Yes please,” she replied perhaps a little too quickly. Anything to get away from the table.

He led her onto the dancefloor were a soft melody was being played by the string quartet. It was a beautiful piece of music. It tugged on her heart strings, making her want to savour the moment forever. The feeling of Roy’s hand on her lower back also had that effect. She had slipped her own hand to his back, feeling the hard muscle she had seen that day James had been ill. A light blush covered her cheeks but it was gone as the feeling of disappointment reminded her of what had transpired earlier that evening.

“The reason I didn’t tell you was because I don’t like him,” Roy stated after they swayed in silence for a few minutes. Riza looked up at him. She did notice they were standing farther apart than a couple would while dancing. Like two friends. “I guess I just wanted to keep you away from that part of my life for as long as possible. It was stupid, I see that now. You have trusted me with your story but I didn’t tell you mine. I know how that must feel.”

Riza nodded. “It did kinda sting.” She smiled softly as she tried to convey that all was forgiven. She knew how hard it was to have a shitty dad and how much effort and trust it took to open up about that with someone. Perhaps if she hadn’t jumped to conclusions and been patient, she would have saved herself the disappointment. It still remained, however. Especially after that “friend” comment, no matter how much she told herself to give it time.

They were interrupted once more as a woman approached Roy. He stopped moving, frozen as he listened. They spoke quietly for a few moments, leaving Riza hanging in his arms awkwardly. She huffed in annoyance, finally lowering her arms, but he didn’t even seem to notice. He nodded to the woman with a grin before he turned his attention back to her.

“I’ve got to head out for a few minutes.” The grin never left his face and Riza’s disappointment returned. “Can you grab me a drink? I’ll be back soon.”

Without another word he took off into the crowd after the woman and left her in the middle of the dancefloor.

“Sure,” she muttered to herself, her irritation rising. “I’ll get right on that.” With as much dignity as she could muster she approached the bar and ordered only herself a drink.

Riza Hawkeye may not have been the most captivating woman in the world. She knew that. But she was _not_ going to be someone’s sloppy seconds as they waited for someone better to come along. The woman who had approached them was clearly a higher class than her. She was talking hair and makeup done at the salon for over a hundred dollars. The dress looked for expensive than everything Riza owned combined. Nothing like making a girl feel inferior. She had felt out of her league before, now it felt as though she was the convenience store and all these people were designer stores you would only see in the high end of Central. Actually, the neighbourhood they were currently in.

Riza sighed. It was happening again. She had fallen hard for James’s father. Then he bolted like a coward and cut all ties with her once she told him she was having their son. Leaving a hormonal woman like that was _not_ a pleasant experience to live through. So many tears. Not to mention the anger. Riza had never felt herself become so angry before. At the time it had felt nice.

Straightening her back and rolling her shoulders she decided that _this_ time, things were going to be different. Yes, she liked Roy. _Really_ liked him. And his behaviour tonight was the opposite of how she imagined things going. Thinking about it, even as a friend, it was a pretty shitty thing for him to do, just up and leave who he came with to follow after someone else. That wasn’t the real Roy, was it? It certainly hadn’t seemed like it for the last couple of months they had spent together.

Riza downed her drink and opted to go to the ladies room. She needed to go before she left. The blonde didn’t fancy trying to hail down a cab with that on her mind as well. If she even could hail a cab in this neighbourhood. No doubt there would only be fucking limos outside that she couldn’t afford.

 It took her a while to find the bathroom, even stopping to ask a member of staff. Finally, she escaped the stuffy ballroom, the double doors providing a much welcome breeze against her flushed skin.

But she stopped dead the sound of shouting.

“I wish I hadn’t been born either,” Roy snarled. She was taken aback by the anger and hate in his voice. She had never heard him speak that way to anyone before. “Because it would have saved me whole lot of trouble from _you_.”

Before her stood Roy and his father. They both turned at her surprised “oh!” with both wearing the same intense glare. That was the only similarity between them. She noted how they looked nothing alike and it was hard to believe the Mayor actually was his dad.

Upon spotting her, Roy’s face relaxed and he looked almost regretful. His father simply straightened up, staring her down. His eyes seemed to pierce through her. It was extremely intimidating, but she supposed that was the point. With the courage of the alcohol she consumed, she continued to walk towards her destination.

“Sorry, I just need to use the ladies room,” she announced, walking behind Roy all the while not meeting his gaze. She still wasn’t happy with him about tonight. It was supposed to be fun. It was supposed to be about them. But it had been nothing more than an embarrassing and disappointing affair for her.

“Riza,” Roy stated but she never let him get a word in. Pushing open the door she found herself in a bathroom that was as luxurious as the rest of the hotel. It even had a _couch_. What bathroom could possibly have a need for _that_?

Slamming the stall door a little harder than necessary, she pushed down the pressure behind her eyes. This was stupid. She would _not_ cry. Not over this. Not over nothing. Rebecca had spent far too much time doing her make up for Riza to waste it now.

No. She straightened her spine. She deserved better. And an explanation. Her anger still simmered, but it waned slightly as Riza thought about the argument she had stumbled across. What had that been about? Worry wormed its way into her heart at hearing Roy’s words. Did he really wish he had never been born?

“Are you all right dear?” a female voice asked softy through the stall door.

Blinking rapidly, Riza flushed the toilet watching the water swirl away down the drain, willing it to take her sadness with it.

“Yes, I am fine. Thank you.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Riza,” Roy called her name as he spotted her leaving the ladies room. Pushing off the wall he was propped up against, Roy rushed after her. However, the blonde ignored him and continued towards the front door. Lengthening his stride, he quickly caught up with her. “Wait.”

“For what?” she asked. Her voice was cool but her eyes were colder. Roy almost flinched. Dread pooled in his stomach. This was going so horribly wrong. “For you to leave me by myself again? For you to pretend like I’m not here? Pick one Roy.” She threw the door open and stalked through it.

Luckily, after finding their heated argument Roy’s father had left him alone. There had been a knowing smirk on his face that riled Roy up even more.

_“Trouble in paradise?” he asked, his voice smug._

_“You leave her out of it,” Roy hissed. “She has nothing to do with me. We are just friends.”_

_“Friends?” His tone was incredulous. “To me, and I’m pretty sure to everyone else here, it looks like you are more than just friends.” He smirked. God, Roy wanted to punch him in the face. His hand even twitched in response. Instead, he balled it into a fist. “This is very interesting.”_

_Fear coursed through him. This was_ exactly _why he didn’t want to get involved with anyone. Roy had been unsure if his father would stoop so low as to threaten someone who wasn’t a family member or a member of the police force and tonight it had been discovered that apparently he would. Pure fear consumed him. It was a mistake to bring Riza here. God, how could you be so_ stupid _?_

_“Regardless, you fucking touch her and I will kill you. Do you understand?” he threatened. He could feel himself losing it. If this didn’t end soon Roy would find himself doing something he would regret. Not personally, of course. But professionally? Yes._

_His father tutted. “Now, now. Do you honestly think I could do something like that?” He chuckled to himself as he stalked off, hands shoved in his pockets casually._

As he had waited he begun to pace, his mind racing for any way to try and stop this. Riza couldn’t be targeted because of him. Roy wasn’t even sure what his father would even _do_ to her. He had put his aunt in a car crash. He didn’t want to entertain the thought.

“Riza, please wait. Let me explain myself.”

“I’m going home Roy. I’m tired.”

“I’m going with you.”

“No,” she replied, her shoulders sagging, her voice soft. “Stay and enjoy the event. Don’t leave because of me.”

“I told you that you being here would make the night infinitely better, didn’t I?” He waited for her response.

“You did,” she replied, resigned.

“Then if you are going, I am going.”

He hailed a cab no problem but as they waited and during the car journey the silence between them was awkward at best. He wanted to say something. He wanted to say _anything_ , but he just kept thinking about his father’s threats. Perhaps it would be best if they remained friends. For her sake.

The moment of their “almost kiss” had also haunted him for the past few weeks. It hadn’t even been close to a real kiss. They had inched a fraction closer to each other before James had stirred, but the implication was there. God, he had wanted to kiss her there and then. The meaning behind it left him wondering since they had never discussed it again. He wanted to take things further but after the conversation with his father the thought made his stomach churn.

Things couldn’t go any further. Not now. Not anymore.

The conversation that needed to happen was too personal, too private, for the back of a cab. He decided he would wait until they were home before diving into his explanation. He owed her that much at least. However before he got the chance to offer, she walked ahead to her own apartment.

“Riza?” he asked, his voice full of uncertainty. He looked at the set of her shoulders, how they were tensed, but thrown back. She held her head high as she walked.

“Good night Roy.” Thinly veiled anger laced her voice.

And just like that, he felt any hope he thought he had with Riza shatter into tiny pieces.

It was for the best a rational part told him.

Upon entering his apartment, he had found himself heading straight to his couch. He remained there, playing through the nights events like some kind of torture machine. He winced every time he remembered how hurt Riza had looked as she entered her apartment. He had only caught a glimpse of her side profile, but the pain and anger was there.

He had ruined everything.

The only upside to the night was that Havoc had got the information he had needed. The woman who had approached them while dancing had explained the situation, and that Havoc was waiting for him in the smoking area to pass on the memory stick. He dug the piece of tech out of the pocket of his tux. Was all this really worth what he did to Riza? He groaned as he remembered leaving her in the middle of the dancefloor, asking her to get him a drink. In the excitement of the news he didn’t think twice about going to see Havoc. He realised now just exactly how it would have looked. They were midway through a dance, a strange woman approaches him, and he leaves with the stranger while his date is ditched in the middle of the dancefloor.

Idiot.

Then the heated argument with his father happened. It was his usual spiel of “how come you never visit me?” and “we should get together more often”. Total bullshit. The man hated Roy and they both knew it. Roy was an inconvenience to him, a smudge on his seemingly “perfect” reputation. But it was anything but perfect. The man was so corrupt it was a wonder no one else had seen through his shit by now. Perhaps they had and they had been silenced. The thought made him shiver.

He had never meant to let Riza see the relationship between him and his father and just how bad it was. But when she had walked through those doors he knew all was lost. The cat was out of the bag, so to speak.

Before he could chicken out, Roy strode to his room, tossing his tux on the bed. He changed into a pair of shorts and his hoodie from the academy days. Returning to his kitchen, he pulled a bottle of wine out the fridge. He was hoping to use it for a happier occasion, but that opportunity was gone now.

His knuckles rapped on Riza’s door. The coolness of the floor seeped through his socks. It was around midnight so he wasn’t too bothered about being out in the hallway in what was effectively his pyjamas. He had more important things to deal with tonight.

Riza opened the door and Roy’s breathe almost caught once more. She was so beautiful, even if she was staring at him irritably. Her hair was down now, tossed over her shoulder in a cascade of blonde waves, the after effects of having it pinned up all night. She wore a blue hoody, similar to him, and a pair of pyjama bottoms. They had Pusheen cats on them and Roy was transported back to a time where things were simpler. Riza had socks with the same pattern on them. He had seen them when they were at the park a couple of months ago. It was incredibly endearing even now.

 He swallowed, remembering the reason he came here tonight. “Peace offering?” he asked, lifting the bottle of wine. He grinned, but it fell as her expression didn’t change. “Can I at least explain myself?”

Riza sighed and pushed the door open so he could enter. The look on her face showed him it was against her better judgement that she was letting him in. He vowed he would not disappoint or waste her time any longer.

Without a word she retrieved two wine glasses from her kitchen and motioned for him to sit on the couch. Roy poured the wine in the silence, trying to get his thoughts in order before beginning. It was expected, but it didn’t mean the disappointment wasn’t real when Riza chose to sit on the armchair across from him, rather than beside him on the couch.

“Like I said, I didn’t tell you about my father because I don’t like him and I wanted to keep that part of my life separate.” He paused, choosing his next words carefully. He didn’t want to frighten Riza, but she still deserved the truth. She had trusted him enough to share the story about her father. The least he could do was return the favour. “But there is more to it than that. To be honest… He is an awful man.” Riza’s eyebrows shot up in surprise at that as she took a sip of her wine. “He is so corrupt and isn’t against using any means to get what he wants. He even threatened my career just so I would attend tonight.”

“Really?” she asked doubtfully.

Roy nodded, his smile grim. “I even have the tape to prove it. Havoc knows all about this too and we are working together to bring him to down.”

Silence fell over them. He hadn’t noticed his hand balling into a fist.

“Dear old dad hasn’t exactly always been faithful to Mrs. Mayor. She’s not my mother. I don’t even know who the woman is. But from what I gathered from my aunt – who did raise me – he paid her off to keep her quiet.” There was a shift of fabric and the couch dipped next to him. A hand covered his that was balled into a fist. The more he spoke, the tighter Riza gripped it, eventually coaxing him to relax. In response, Roy gripped her digits tightly to have something to hold on to. It was a small show of support, but it felt nice.

This whole mess with his father had felt like a one-man battle for too long. It was suffocating. Having Riza’s hand on his felt like a life raft while he was drowning. A burden was being lifted from his shoulders as he discussed this with Riza. The only other person who knew outside of his family was Havoc. It was not lost on him how comfortable he felt telling Riza either. But he didn’t make himself meet her stare. He couldn’t. Not yet.

“Initially he had tried to force her to get an abortion, but she refused. I don’t know why. So she had me but my father didn’t even show up at the hospital. He wanted nothing to do with her or her kid. She was only young, from what I was told. Just entered her twenties. And she was scared.” Guilt flooded him. It was in no way his fault. He didn’t ask to be born. But his mother had been terrified after he had been born. Terrified of doing it all by herself and terrified of what his father would do to both of them. “So my Aunt Chris adopted me. She is my father’s sister. After this all happened she wanted nothing more to do with him, and I don’t blame her. I would do the same…”

“But?” Riza asked quietly.

Roy sighed. “But he uses people to get to me. With the job I am in he likes to keep me on a short leash.” He chuckled humourlessly to himself. “Probably because I am in a position to expose him.” Silence fell once more as the words sunk in and Roy took a large mouthful of wine.

“That’s why you introduced us as friends.”

It wasn’t a question, but Roy nodded in conformation. “Yes. It has happened in the past and it will happen again. That’s why I don’t get close to anyone now. He will stoop low to get whatever he needs. And I don’t want to put you through that Riza. God help me I really don’t. But I can’t seem to stay away at the same time.” Finally, he met her gaze. Initially he was afraid of what he would find. He expected anger, irritation, fear… Not sympathy and understanding. “And it is so selfish of me to keep seeing you,” he added. “It is unfair to you, not to mention the fact that I refuse to put you and James in danger. I can’t. If anything happened I would never forgive myself.”

“Roy,” Riza replied softly. “I… understand what you’re going through. To an extent. I know what it’s like to live in fear because of a shitty parent.” Her admittance was quiet, as if finally admitting it to herself. “I don’t know what has happened in the past between you two but I know one thing. We can’t let them win.”

“It’s not as simple as that,” he sighed. Standing from the couch, he began to pace in the space in front of the television. He didn’t notice Riza watching his every move. “He threatened you tonight.” She paused in her movements. “He didn’t say the words, but the implication was there. And I can’t do that to you. I won’t.”

Riza stood, moving in front of him so he had to pause his pacing. Slowly she took his hands in hers. “I think,” she began carefully. “That this is something very serious we need to consider.” Clasping that hand tightly, she offered him a small comfort. “I need to think of James, first and foremost.”

“Of course,” he agreed immediately, despite the fact that the words were like daggers into his chest.

“However, I can take care of myself. I was in the academy with Rebecca, I have had all the training. I know how to look after us both.”

“But –”

Riza raised a hand up to silence him. “Regardless of that threat, I would still like to remain friends with you Roy. You have become someone I can trust and that doesn’t come easy for me. It would be a shame to lose that,” she admitted quietly.

 _Friends_. The word echoed around his head, bashing roughly against the inside of his skull.

“Whatever you decide, I’m with you.” If being friends with this incredible woman was all she could get, then that was what he would take. It was a miracle he was getting even that.

“I…” Riza trailed off her gaze wandering to the side for a brief moment. She looked as if she wanted to say more, but decided against it. It piqued his curiosity though. “I have to think about my son.”

“Of course. Thank you.” He cast his gaze downwards, not wanting Riza to see the disappointment held within them. He didn’t think he could hate his father anymore for ruining his life, but here he was. A fire burned within him now, one that would fuel his desire to get the Mayor where he belonged, rotting in a prison cell.

Pressure on his cheek jolted him from his thoughts. Riza pulled her hand away with a sad smile. She squeezed his hand before stepping away.

“Just… Be careful, okay? For me.”

Roy nodded. “I will.”

The urge was too strong for him to resist any longer. He pulled her into his arms. Her hands gripped him tightly, which surprised him, as they slid around his waist. Roy savoured the moment, closing his eyes as his nostrils were filled with the scent of Riza’s shampoo. He didn’t want to move from this spot.

They both pulled away reluctantly. “Thank you for letting me explain. I apologise for my behaviour tonight, I realise I wasn’t exactly present for most of it.”

“It’s okay,” Riza smiled.

“Havoc was working on getting us information against the Mayor.” He didn’t want to draw her into his work, but again, she deserved an explanation. “The woman who spoke to me was helping us. I’m sorry for leaving you in the middle of the dance floor. It wasn’t very good of me.”

“It wasn’t,” she smiled dryly. “But now I know what’s going on, its fine. There are bigger things to worry about.”

Roy winced. “There is,” he agreed. “Good night Riza. Sorry for ruining the night.”

He showed himself out. Every step away from that woman felt like a dagger in the chest. God, when did it get this _bad_? The thought of distancing himself from her felt the same way. A small part of him wondered if she felt anything similar.

This was for her own safety, and for her family too. He wouldn’t be so selfish as to endanger them. He would _never_ forgive himself if something did happen. And if it came down to it, he wasn’t sure he would be able to stop himself from killing his father for it.

Roy had meant what he said to the Mayor. If he did cause any harm to come to Riza and James, Roy would kill him. That was something legal the man could bet on. 

* * *

 

Riza watched Roy walk out of her living room and could feel their future going with it. Her heart constricted at the thought, her stomach turning. This was not what she wanted _at all_. And from the defeated look on Roy’s face, she had an inkling that he felt the same way. The prospect of that should have sent a thrill through her, but instead it made the weight on her chest even more crushing.

 But she _had_ to think of her son. She couldn’t put him in harm’s way like that. Riza knew there was truth to Roy’s words. There was no hint of a lie in his face as he told her that he would never forgive himself if they were used against him.

She knew she couldn’t let Roy leave without saying something. It didn’t feel right. Everything about him screamed defeat and Riza got the impression this situation with his father was a lot more serious that she had initially believed. Taking a deep breath she simply told him the truth. “You didn’t ruin the night, Roy,” she told him. He jumped, obviously not expecting her to be behind him. Riza couldn’t quite explained why she had followed him out to the hall.

 _Because I got to spend it with you_.

Those words that flitted through her head… In any other circumstance Riza would feel the need to say them. But in their situation… It crushed her knowing that she really wanted to tell him that, but it was for the best if she didn’t. So, instead, she offered him a smile. It wasn’t much, it wasn’t _enough_ , but it would do for now. God, she wanted to reach out and touch him, to do anything to wash away this change in his demeanour.

Why were things never easy with her?

No. This was for the best. Nothing had started between them and these feelings that had followed her like a shadow whenever he had been around lately could be squashed down and shoved into a box in the back of her mind. The memory of their “almost kiss” popped unbidden into her thoughts. Nothing had been discussed and at this time it would be pointless to do so. So Riza let it go. The universe obviously didn’t want them to be together.

“Thank you.”

Riza nodded as she opened the door for him. Then he walked out the door. And despite the internal packing in her mind, Riza couldn’t help but hope their future hadn’t gone out there with him.

Sleep didn’t come easily to her. Roy was prominent in her thoughts. She tortured herself with thoughts of what they could possibly have had, of that “almost kiss”, of the feeling of his hand in hers. At one point a tear had rolled down her cheek but she wiped it away quickly. The feelings still remained between them, despite her best efforts to shove them back, but the spark had been snuffed out before it had even been given the chance to grow.

One saving grace was Roy would never know just how badly this had affected her. She could put on a mask and put up a front of pretending everything was okay. Riza had become an expert at that over the years. She could blame the emotion of last night on the alcohol she had consumed.

James and Rebecca arrived around ten o’clock the next morning. Riza had busied herself with tidying up the apartment, anything to keep her mind off the man who lived next door. But it was over too quickly. So she opted to watch TV, but there was nothing that held her interest. Again, her thoughts returned to Roy.

She had fallen for him. She didn’t know when it happened, but at the ball last night when he had held her in her arms as they danced she found herself not wanting to leave them. She felt safe there. Riza finally realised he felt like home.

“Hey Mum!” James called excitedly as he bounded through the hall. She grinned, despite the burning in her chest. At least she had James. But the thought saddened her as she realised that Roy didn’t have anybody. That hurt more than it should have, to know that he was all alone next door.

_“That’s why I don’t get close to anyone now.”_

“Hey James,” she greeted enthusiastically, lifting him into her arms as she tried to drown out those words in her head. She hugged him tightly, embracing the comfort he brought with him.

“Hey,” Rebecca grinned. She had a quick look around the room, no doubt looking for any unexpected guests. “Good night?” she asked, waggling her eyebrows.

Riza smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She nodded her head but the grin dropped from Rebecca’s face.

“We had an awesome night! Didn’t we Aunt Becca? We stayed up until _eleven_ o’clock and watched _two_ films! I ate all the popcorn,” he laughed.

“Did you? No way!” Riza exclaimed. “Where is my popcorn?” she held out a hand as if expecting to be handed some as a gift.

James giggled. “I ate it all!”

Riza feigned shock, placing a hand on her chest. “James Hawkeye! You _ate_ all the popcorn? How rude!” He giggled again and the sound made Riza grin. “Well, rude little boys get tickled as a punishment.”

“No!” he shrieked as he squirmed out of her arms. He landed on the floor like a cat and sprinted to his room, laughing all the way.

The two woman watched him leave fondly. Rebecca turned to her and Riza knew what was coming. But from the look in Rebecca’s eye, it seemed she had gotten the wrong impression.

“What happened?” There was her fierce protectiveness. The look on her face told Riza the brunette was ready to go next door and kick Roy’s ass.

“Roy told me about his dad.” That was all the explanation she needed, because her look turned to one of surprise, then sympathy.

“Riza…” Rebecca replied, but trailed off. Riza had never told her friend the extent of her feelings towards her neighbour, but Rebecca was incredibly perceptive, especially when it came to her. Riza knew that Rebecca was already aware. Instead of words, instead of possibly tipping James off, Rebecca squeezed her shoulder in sympathy. It was the comfort she needed. “I get it. If you ever want to talk, you know where to find me.” Her pointed look indicated there would be an upcoming girl’s night where they would discuss it all.

Riza nodded. She plastered a grin on her face as James peeked around the door, looking to see if his mother was going to try and chase him. He would never know what was going on. She knew he adored Roy and it would make it harder to explain to him that he couldn’t go round as often as he had before. Riza had meant it when she said she wanted to remain friends with Roy. But James could never understand what was going. Not properly.

However, an upcoming play date with Roy came round sooner than either of them anticipated. The next weekend Riza had been called into work on Saturday. They were preparing for an audit and apparently someone had botched a report. Reluctantly, Riza agreed to go in and fix their work. Something told her that come Monday one of her colleagues would be gone, if the tone of her boss’ voice was anything to go by.

“Are you sure this is all right?” Riza asked as she busied herself with getting ready for work. She was searching for her car keys which she had _sworn_ she had left on the coffee table in her living room. Havoc and Rebecca were out of town for the weekend. They had returned to East City to visit Rebecca’s parents. Mrs. Henderson across the hall was visiting her sister in North City so Roy was her only option of babysitter.

Roy was leaning against the door frame, arms folded across his chest, in that unfair way that he did. Riza tried not to appreciate how good he looked lounging against it in his t-shirt and shorts. Tried to. Knowing this would only make things harder, she gathered up her work bag and shrugged on her jacket.

“Of course. We will have fun, wont we James?”

“Yeah!” he shouted excitedly.

“I don’t know how long I will be,” Riza replied as she continued to look for her keys, frustration growing by the minute. “My boss said it would only be a couple of hours but I highly doubt it. This report took me two days to do last time.”

Roy had entered the room and approached the kitchen. Riza paid him no mind as the search continued. She heard the tell-tale jingle of keys to her right. Roy held them out to her with a smile.

“Thank you.”

“No problem. And take all the time you need. There is no rush.”

“Still, I’d rather not be going in at all.”

His crooked grin was back, the one she loved so much. “Don’t worry about us. Here.” Digging into his pockets, Roy produced a house key with a flourish. “If it is late feel free to come in and get him.” He jerked his thumb in James’ direction. “He might have tired me out enough that I’m asleep by the time you are home.” James giggled.

Riza knew the social implications of receiving the key to Roy’s apartment. She only wished that were the case, rather than this tip-toeing around they were doing now. She would have thought the pair would be safe in their own apartment building, but Roy had assured her that the Mayor “had his ways of knowing these things”. The blonde had shuddered at the thought.

“I’ll be as quick as I can.”

Riza kissed James goodbye and warned him to be good. Five minutes later she was in her car and on her way to work, shoving down the feeling that she would have liked to spend the Saturday with them both rather than heading, alone, to an empty office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaannnd all is right with the world  
> well, the angst world anyway  
> sorry ;)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't not post a new chapter of my favourite fic to write to date on my birthday ;) I hope you enjoy this one! Papa Roy is here to stay and I am living for it [insert heart eyes]

Roy turned to the child currently under his care. He had looked after his adopted siblings for years. James would be no different. He had always enjoyed the role of being a big brother. As they entered his apartment, he slipped back into it with ease.

“So, James. What do you want to do first?”

The boy pondered the question. He looked so much like his mother while thinking. The slight frown was identical. “Can we go to the park?”

“Of course we can.” Roy placed James’ rucksack on the floor next to his couch. “Grab your rain jacket and get ready. I’ll get organised and we will leave in ten, okay?”

“Leave in ten?” he repeated quietly to himself, his frown deepening in his confusion.

Roy stared at him, trying to figure out the reason for the confusion. “Oh,” he stated, finally noticing his word choice. “We will leave in ten minutes.” The frown gave way to a grin and he nodded. Roy left him to it as he retrieved his own rain jacket, gloves, and hat. He retrieved his phone which had been charging on his bedside table. A small green light blinked at the top of the phone, indicating he had a notification. Opening it, he was surprised to see it was a text from Riza.

_If you need anything just let me know. If he becomes too much trouble or you need to go somewhere just give me a call and I’ll come home._

He smiled to himself. They hadn’t even seen each other the past week. Not after their conversation last Saturday. A conversation that still made his stomach twist and his heart ache slightly. He had fallen for her. Big time. And the thought of pushing her away just intensified the pain.

But it was for her own good.

It always fucking was.

“Ready!” James called, sounding triumphant.

Shaking off those thoughts that had become like shackles recently, he replied.

_Will do, thanks. No need to fear, fun neighbour Roy is here._

After hitting send he re-entered the hall and, sure enough, James stood in the living room doorway ready to go in his jacket.

“Gloves?” Roy asked, retrieving his own from another jacket in the hall. James nodded with a grin, waggling his fingers in demonstration. “Scarf?” The boy tugged at the accessory around his neck. “Hat?” His smile wavered and he all but dove for his bag. After rummaging, he pulled out a neon green woolly hat. “Well, at least I won’t lose you while you are wearing that hat.”

“That’s what Mum says too,” he frowned, still not quite understanding. “But it is my favourite hat.”

Roy locked the apartment door behind them as he chuckled to himself. “Your Mum is right and you have excellent taste in hats.”

The park was understandably empty as they pulled up into the parking lot. Just a few months ago the place had been mobbed. That seemed like a lifetime ago, spending that day with Havoc, Catalina, Riza, and James here. The November air bit at their cheeks as they excited the heated interior of the car. James pulled his hat on his head firmly, burying his cold ears under the fabric. His teeth began to chatter as they walked for the play park, the same one he had spotted Riza and James at a couple of weeks ago.

“Come on,” Roy called, picking up his pace and turning around to face the boy. “I will race you there!” At least a short run would warm them up. It would also cheer the boy up as he looked particularly miserable in the cold. As they approached Roy slowed his run and let James pass him. However, he didn’t have to do much as the boy was like a whippet. “Oh no!” Roy exclaimed dramatically. “I lost!” The triumphant look on the young man’s face made Roy grin himself.

“I’ll race you up to the top of the frame!” With a twinkle in his eye and a grin that reminded Roy so much of Riza, the boy was up the rope climbing frame in a flash.

Oh no. He had started a game.

Roy huffed as he climbed up, feigning being tired out. “First you have me running and then climbing up this thing. I am too old for this James.” The boy giggled in response.

“You’re not _that_ old,” he replied.

“I am _so_ old.” James giggled again.

“No you’re not! You don’t look old.”

“Why, thank you. How old do you think I am?” he asked curiously.

“You are fifty!”

“ _Fifty_?” Roy exclaimed, placing a hand over his chest in mock horror. “I am not fifty!”

“Sixty?”

“How dare you!” Roy laughed. “Lower.”

“Fifty five?”

“ _Lower_ than fifty,” Roy replied as he rolled his eyes, catching the mischievous look in the young boy’s eye. James knew exactly what he was doing. “I am not that much older than your mother and she isn’t old.”

“Yes she is.”

Roy spluttered at the innocent reply, chuckling to himself. “Just don’t tell her that.”

“She has to be old, because only old people look after boys and girls.”

Roy couldn’t argue with his logic there. “I am twenty eight,” Roy replied, finally settling his case. “I am two years older than your Mum.”

“Do you know if my Mum is okay?” he asked abruptly. It threw Roy. _That_ was not a question he expected. All sense of amusement left him as he answered.

“Why do you ask?”

“Because she has been sad this last week. She pretends she is okay but I have heard her upset on the phone with Aunt Becca.” Something shot through his stomach at the thought of Riza possibly feeling the same way he had. “And she used to look the same way after I asked about my dad and my gran and granddad.” Roy’s stomach tightened, a slight feeling of dread creeping over his skin. This was not a conversation he was prepared to have with the seven year old. “I don’t like it when Mum is sad,” James added quietly, his gaze turning towards his feet.

Roy regarded the young man, taking in his body language and his words. His voice was quiet and subdued, like his posture now. He too looked sad as he spoke, as if retreating into himself. This was not something he talked about regularly. Roy could see that even without hearing James say the words. In a way, he felt slightly honoured the boy trusted him enough to bring it up.

“Come on, let’s find a bench and then we can talk.” His hands were currently beginning to freeze under the gloves after the period of inactivity. It didn’t help the rush of their run and the climb up had burned off, not to mention the shift in the conversation knocking him back to reality. Not five minutes later, they were seated on a bench overlooking the play park.

“I stopped asking when I realised talking about my Dad made Mum sad,” James began, hooking his ankles together and swinging them slowly beneath him. His hands were knotted together, his fingers fidgeting. “But… I want to know who he his.” The whisper was so quiet, Roy had to strain to hear him. “Everyone else at school knows who their dad is and make fun of me because I don’t.”

A spark of anger went through him. “Does your Mum know they make fun of you?” he asked sharply. James shook his head. Roy sighed. “You need to tell her. If anyone makes fun of you, you need to tell your Mum or the teacher.”

James shook his head once more. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because if I tell the Mrs. Short then she will tell Mum and Mum will get upset,” he replied, his voice wobbling. Tears had begun to form in his eyes. “I don’t want make her upset.”

Roy put an arm around his shoulders, rubbing his upper arm in comfort as he cried. “That’s understandable James. But you need to tell people because if you don’t the people doing it might not stop. It’s called bullying and they shouldn’t be doing it.”

“I don’t like it when they do it. I shouted at them to stop and they laughed at me,” he sniffled. “It made me feel worse.”

Roy felt his hand clench into a fist. _Damn private school brats._ “How about I tell Mum? Then I will be the one making her upset, not you?” James considered this for a moment, before slowly nodded. Seven year old logic was a great thing. “Then we can get this all sorted out.”

“I would like that,” he replied in a quiet voice. He raised his hands, wiping his cheeks free of tears.

“If anything happens again, _tell_ your teacher. Please?”

The boy nodded hesitantly. “Okay.”

“Promise me?”

He sniffed but his voice was clear. “I promise.”

“Just remember though, Mum loves you very much. You need to tell her if these things happen. But, to get you started, I will tell her just this once. Then it is up to you. Does that sound good?”

James nodded. “Okay,” he repeated, his voice stronger.

“Now, about your Dad…” Roy really didn’t know what way to go with this. How much did James already know? How much did Riza _want_ him to know? This was uncharted and potentially dangerous territory. “I think if I was in your shoes, I would feel the same way.” The look of hope James gave him caused a sympathetic look to grace Roy’s features. “However, that is something I can’t discuss with you, because I don’t know anything about it. You will need to ask your Mum about that one kiddo.” An almost fearful look came over James, his fingers stilling in their nervous movements, but clenching together. “If you like, I can bring that up with her too? I can ask her to help you understand better?”

“Really?” he asked quietly, but hopefully.

Roy nodded. “Of course. But, you need to understand that she might not want to talk about it. I don’t know anything about your Dad, or what happened, but I know that he hurt your Mum. A lot. And when something like that happens it can take people a lot of time to be ready to talk about it.”

“Did he hit her?” James whispered in that way children do when they think their suggestion is the worst thing in the world.

“No, I don’t think he did anything like that,” Roy reassured the boy quickly, soothing his fears. “He left her alone while she was pregnant with you. That made her very upset.” God, he hoped he hadn’t revealed too much.

James nodded, contemplating the older man’s words. He was silent for a few moments and Roy gave him the time he needed to process everything. From what Roy understood, the whole situation was a mess. Even thinking about it made Roy want to ball his hands into a fist. Riza was one of the best people he knew. She didn’t deserve to have someone do that to her, especially not when she was pregnant goddammit.

“As for your gran and granddad, you will have to ask Riza too.”

“Granddad scares me sometimes.” Again, that small, fearful voice returned. It made Roy’s stomach clench. “He shouts a lot. He shouts a lot at Mum. He has even shouted at me and I didn’t like it.” James was becoming more and more visibly upset the more he talked about the man. If Riza’s father drew out this reaction from the young boy, Roy didn’t even want to think about what happened when he showed up unannounced. He vowed to become more vigilant while at home. He may not be able to spend time as much time with the small family, but he would certainly still look out for them.

Roy put his arm around James, giving him a hug. The boy was trying hard to stop himself from crying. His bottom lip stuck out and he sniffled forcefully. “It’s okay to cry James,” Roy replied quietly, urging him to let everything out.

“But it makes Mum upset too,” was his reply, his voice louder and thick with emotion.

“Listen, you are allowed to cry. It might make your Mum upset, but you can’t keep it all inside. You need to tell her when you are upset and talk to her. Keeping everything inside of you will make things worse in the long run.”

“Can I tell you?” Large, tear filled eyes met his.

“Of course you can, buddy, but tell Mum too. As long as I am around, I will always try my absolute best to make sure no one hurts you, okay? If your Granddad comes around,” Roy added. “And he is being scary and you don’t like it, come and get me if you can. I will help.”

James threw his arms around Roy’s midsection. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Roy smiled. “No problem kiddo.” James remained there for a few more moments, finally relaxing. He wiped away his tears before finally wiping his snotty nose in his jacket sleeve.

“Yuck!” Roy exclaimed as James wiped his nose and then sniffed. Roy made a big thing of it, pretending to recoil in horror. James giggled, a smile back on his face. “Stay away from me with that nose!” An idea popped into James’ head and he shoved his arm out, pretending to wipe it on Roy’s clothes. “Ew! That is disgusting!” Giggles turned to laughter and thirty seconds later James was chasing Roy around the play park.

It had been a long time since Roy had felt this carefree as he ran around the park with James. The uncomfortable feeling that came with this bitter cold was long forgotten. They were both in the moment, enjoying the silliness of their game. Roy didn’t mind making a fool of himself as he tried to make James laugh. He felt extremely proud of himself as his attempts never failed. The young boy needed it after that conversation.

The boy’s words still worried him. He would need to let Riza know about their conversation, explaining James’ fears. He knew she would probably be upset, but this was a conversation they needed to have together. 

* * *

 

Wearily, Riza pushed the button for her floor in the elevator. She had never felt so happy to return home from work. Plus, the thought of returning to see her son made that joy ten times better.

It was already eight o’clock. She had kept texting Roy throughout the day but he had stopped replying two hours ago. Telling herself everything was fine, she continued to finish up her work. She had the distinct feeling she was bothering him, but asking him to look after her son was a big step. Riza just wanted to ensure everything was all right. The report felt like it was slowly killing her, but she got through it. An upside was after emailing it to her boss, the woman advised her to take Monday and Tuesday as a day off as a thank you.

Riza knocked on Roy’s apartment door. After no answer the third time, she dug the key he had given her that morning out of her bag and let herself in.

“James? Roy?” she called into the apartment. There was the sound of the television coming from the living room, but no conversation. Someone shushed her from said room. The scene she walked in on was not what she expected to see.

James waved at her with a grin from his perch on the couch. There was an Xbox controller in his hands and a too large set of headphones on his head. The game continued on the television screen and he eagerly returned to it. It was a Lego video game, Riza only caught a glimpse but she thought it was about The Avengers. Her suspicions were confirmed as she saw James controlling Iron Man. Two pizza boxes lay on the coffee table in front of him. One was empty while the other had two cold slices in it. Next to them were two glasses of Coke, one empty and another half full.

What drew her attention away, was Roy lying spread out on the couch next to James, asleep. His head was by James’ legs, lying flat upon the cushions. His feet dangled off the edge of the piece of furniture, ankles propped up on the arm of the chair. One arm rested against his torso, the hand splayed over his stomach. The other, dangled off the edge and rested on the floor. He was completely out of it. Riza found herself staring. How did he _still_ manage to look so good while asleep? It wasn’t fair. It was also incredibly endearing.

“Have you had a good day?” Riza asked as she sat down on the arm chair to James’ left. He nodded, his focus solely on the television. “Come on James, we need to go home.” His face fell and he was about to reply as Roy stirred. He made a noise in his sleep that made James laugh and Roy woke.

“Hey,” he grumbled reaching up to nudge the boy. “You said you wouldn’t let me fall asleep.”

“Old men need to sleep,” he giggled. Riza was about to scold him for his comment, but Roy replied before she could.

“Hey!” was his indignant reply as he playfully bumped James’ leg, still unaware Riza was in the room. His eyes closed again. “I am only two years older than your Mum remember. Speaking of,” he added, hauling himself into a sitting position as if it took a great amount of effort. He rubbed his face tiredly. “She should be back soon.”

His eyes popped open and after taking in the room, he jumped about a foot in the air upon spotting her sitting in the arm chair.

“Jesus Christ!” he exclaimed in fright.

“You shouldn’t say that,” James scolded him without tearing his eyes from the television. He didn’t even miss a beat. “Mum says that’s a bad thing to say.”

Riza was too baffled to even reply. Amusement took over every other emotion. She laughed to herself. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“You are like a ninja,” he replied, shifting to sit comfortably, rubbing his face tiredly. Watching that simple action made her wonder what waking up next to him would be like – _Nope!_

“Thank you,” she replied, blushing slightly from her train of thought. Riza took that as a compliment. She had always been quiet as a kid. Her upbringing after her mother passed was a quiet one, causing her to retreat into herself. Riza had begun to pride herself on being able to move undetected when she wanted to. “Did you two have a good day?” James was still too engrossed in the game to reply to her question.

“We did,” Roy replied. Riza noted the sincerity in his voice. It was a comfort to know that Roy was someone she could rely on to look after her son if need be. But in their current situation, it would only be as a last resort. Riza knew that but wished it wasn’t the case. Roy yawned. “Your kid is… like a whirlwind.” He smiled at her, his face happy, but tired. “I don’t know how you do it every day.”

She chuckled to herself. “You have no idea.”

Silence descended upon the two and Riza found herself fidgeting nervously. It felt awkward and she hated it. This was the first time she had ever felt that way around Roy and she loathed it. But the constant threat of his father hung over them both. It appeared Roy felt the same way, because when she stood he looked slightly relieved at the break in the silence. Disappointment seeped into her chest.

“Come on James. We need to go home.”

“But Mum,” he whined, his gaze switching between his mother and the television.

“No buts. Let’s go. You need to get ready for bed.”

“But Mum,” he whined again, drawing out the last word.

“James,” she replied sternly. She really didn’t have the patience for this tonight. She was tired. She was mentally drained. She was hungry. It wasn’t fair to take it out on her son so she calmed herself, softening her glare. The headache that had plagued her since beginning driving was coming back with a vengeance. “I know you want to keep playing, but it is time to go.”

“Your Mum is right kiddo,” Roy chipped in, standing from his seat. He gently but firmly took the controller from his hands. James pouted but he took off the headset. He handed it to Roy and left the room with a small scowl. “Hey, what is that look for?” he asked.

“Just… Leave it,” Riza replied tiredly. James didn’t think it was fair. But he had been there all day. It was unfair on Roy for him to give up his Saturday to look after her child. She wouldn’t ask him to give up his night too. But still, the look on James’ face still hurt to see. Little did the boy know, he wouldn’t be able to see his new friend as often from now on as he would like. Riza wanted to tell her son that he could come back tomorrow and play again, but both adults knew that wouldn’t happen. “Thank you for today. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem. Ah… Something came up today.” Riza felt her heart sink. “It isn’t urgent, I can tell you later if you want to get him organised and settled?” From the sound of her son huffing in the hallway, she nodded in agreement. But those words still niggled in her mind. “If you need anything, just give me a call.”

Riza nodded half-heartedly, following her son out the door.

“I know you think it is unfair to leave when you were having fun, but it is time for bed,” Riza explained to him once they returned to their apartment.

“But I wanted to keep playing! Roy bought the game for me today and he said I could play it all the way through!”

“That’s fine,” she replied after overcoming her initial surprise. He had bought a game just for James’ to play? She made a mental note to ask him how much shoe owed him. “But games take a long time to finish. You can’t do it all in a day.”

“But I wanted to!” he wailed.

Oh god, she didn’t have the patience for this. Not tonight. Riza rubbed her forehead, trying to lessen the pressure of her headache. “Go and get changed for bed. Stop whining like that, there is no need. You will get to play it again.” He stomped off in the huff and slammed his bedroom door shut. “Stop slamming doors!” Riza called after him.

James was quiet for the remainder of the night. He got changed and ready for bed, but remained sullen. He would barely talk to her. God, this was going to be harder than she thought. The last thing she wanted to do was to keep the pair apart. James finally had a male in his life to look up to and now she was trying to take that away.

She didn’t want to do that to him.

These thoughts came to her as she sat on her couch with her glass of wine. It was ten o’clock and she was almost asleep, but her mind would not shut off as she worried about her son.

Yes, he already had Jean. But he was family. Jean had always been there for James and Riza knew James expected his unofficial uncle to always be there. And that was fine. Riza was proud to label Jean as a role model for James, but he needed someone else too, someone else to count on. Someone outside of their small family. The way James and Roy interacted, it was like the man was his father. Her son had taken to their neighbour so well and often asked her if he could go around to Roy’s to play either the Xbox and just spend some time with him. It made her happier than she would care to admit, but the threat of Roy’s father continued to hover over them all, worrying her no end.

Would the man really hurt them? Riza couldn’t imagine someone actually doing that, never mind the Mayor of Central. But Roy had told her about how his Aunt had been in a car crash which had been apparently orchestrated by his father. It wasn’t something you lied about. The thought made her shiver. Fear settled in her gut as she thought about James.

God, she was so conflicted about what to do. She didn’t want to tear the two apart, but both she and Roy didn’t want to put him in any danger. His concerns mirrored hers.

Tears fell down her cheeks silently as she stared off into space.

She didn’t know what to do.

A knock at her door drew her from her spiralling thoughts. Fear settled in as she glanced at the clock. Who would be at the door at this hour? Wiping tears away, she approached the door cautiously.

“Hey,” Roy greeted quietly. “I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything?” He paused, cocking his head as he took in her face. Her eyes must have been red and puffy. “Are you okay?”

Riza nodded. Against her better judgement, she invited him inside.

She should have said no. She should have turned him away.

But Riza couldn’t.

Damn her and her lack of willpower when it came to Roy Mustang.

Once in the living room, he took Riza’s offer of a seat on the couch while she tidied up her glass and the bottle. “I was just doing some thinking.”

“Riza, I’m sorry,” he stated, his voice almost miserable.

She continued to tidy up, walking through to the kitchen. “About what?” If she was busy she wouldn’t have to look at him and feel that pain lance through her heart.

“About all of this.” He gestured to her face. “I hate the power he has over me. And I hate myself for letting it happen.”

Bracing her hands on the kitchen counter for a moment, Riza composed herself. The effects of the wine had taken hold but it gave her the confidence to say things she would normally hold back on. She pushed off, returning to see to her guest. “This is not your fault.”

“It is –”

“It is _not_.” With her finger pointed Riza pinned him with a glare to stress her point. She knew what it was like to have a shitty family and blame yourself for it. Rebecca kicked her ass every time Riza fell into that spiral, so she decided she would be Roy’s Rebecca. She wouldn’t let him blame himself for it too. “You did not choose your father, nor are you making him threaten people. You are working against him, and that speak volumes.”

“I could have done something sooner. I could have stopped all of this happening.”

“Roy, listen to me. This situation was unavoidable.” She quickly continued after he flinched. “Not because of lack of action on your part. But because your father sounds like a straight up son of a bitch.”

That caused a reaction with him. His lips quirked upwards, but not enough to form a smile.

“It just… It really sucks. To put it eloquently,” he replied, a small smirk appearing on his face. He ran a hand through his hair as he leaned forward onto his elbows, both resting atop his knees. “This is not what I wanted.” His expression changed to one that was unreadable. Riza remained apprehensive, fearing what he would say next. She folded her arms over her chest, hands fisting in her t-shirt in an effort to comfort herself. A shiver overtook her at the words she might both love and dread to hear. Electing to remain standing was a good choice. Distance helped her think clearly. “It took a while for me to realise it, but, Riza, I think I –”

“Don’t say it,” she interrupted him quickly. She knew what he was about to say. Fear blossomed within her. Fear, because of past experiences. Fear, because she was sure she felt a similar way and didn’t want to admit it to herself. Not now. Not under these circumstances. “Don’t say it,” she repeated, her voice softer. “It will just make things harder.”

Roy stared up at her but then nodded in pained agreement. They were silent as both mulled over their predicament.  Roy was the first one to break it.

“James was asking me about his father today.” Riza stiffened, hands gripping her t-shirt even tighter. “He also asked about his grandparents. I told him I didn’t know anything about it, and that he should ask you.”

“What did he say?” She almost had to choke out the words.

“He wants to know who his father is. But he noticed that whenever he asked about them you would become sad, and he didn’t want to make you sad.”

Emotion filled her throat as she thought of her son. Of course he would say something like that. It was such a James Thing. He was so much like Riza, she felt as though she were repeating her own childhood sometimes.

“He seemed scared when I told him to ask you,” Roy continued. “So I offered to start things off for him, but I was going to let you know anyway. He also said the kids at school make fun of him for it.”

Riza closed her eyes as the tears threatened to overwhelm her again. She squashed it down fiercely. This wasn’t the time for tears. The fact that those snooty kids made fun of her wonderful boy just because his father was a bastard… It made her blood boil. Riza had hated that school the moment she had set foot in it. But, at her father’s _very persuasive_ insistence, she had sent James there and allowed the man to pay for it. Riza should have punched him in the face for the slap he gave her upon the suggestion James attend public school. But she had just been young. These last few years living by herself had toughened her up for the better. If the bastard tried it again she would rip off the hand that tried it.

“It’s just… hard. It’s still hard to talk about. Even now.” She swallowed thickly, arms dropping from being crossed to hugging her body.

“I can help,” he offered, and she smiled at the offer. Riza continued to marvel at the fact that she had found someone who cared enough to offer such a thing. Someone who cared enough to… Riza diverted the thoughts of what could have been away from the forefront of her mind. However, she still shook her head at Roy’s offer.

“It’s all right. Thank you though. I need to do this. Not just for him, but for me. Plus, I don’t want to draw you into my mess.”

“I would be happy to, Riza.” She met his eyes and saw the sincerity in them.

Damn him. Damn him and his perfection.

In any other situation, she would be thrilled by his words. However, they weren’t supposed to becoming closer. They weren’t supposed to be sitting in her apartment on a Saturday night, discussing such personal topics. Roy had said the Mayor had a way of getting information. This was not information she wanted anyone to hear except from James and now, Roy. It was her story and no one else’s.

“Thank you, but I need to do this.”

Roy nodded. “I should get going. Sorry to interrupt your evening.” He stood and Riza moved to face him. A flood of emotions filled her. She didn’t know what to feel. Anger towards Roy’s father at threatening them both. Fear at her new revelation regarding their relationship and Roy’s unspoken words. Despair at the thought of not being able to act upon it, and possibly never being able to. The pair stood in silence, waiting for the other initiate their goodbye. But none came.

Something overcame Riza. She didn’t know what. Looking back on it, she still couldn’t tell what her thought process had been. There was a fleeting “fuck it” moment, but it disappeared as quickly as it came. Everything happened in a rush, but she found herself not minding on bit.

She kissed him.

They were standing much closer than Riza remembered.  As she leaned into him, Roy lifted his hands, one going to her waist, the other to the back of her neck. They met in the middle and the butterflies in Riza’s stomach combusted. As soon as the contact had been made it was as if they couldn’t get close enough. It was feverish. One of his hands tangled in her hair, keeping her anchored to him. Placing both hands on his chest before sliding them around his neck, she groaned into the kiss, relishing in the exquisiteness of it.

Then, before she could comprehend it, something pushed them apart. Her hands on his chest once more remained steady, keeping them apart. Instead of seeing surprise at the interruption, Roy’s face only held understanding and regret.

“I’m sorry,” she replied fearfully, her voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know what –” Riza interrupted herself, swallowing thickly, trying to get her breathe under control. Roy lowered his hands to her waist, leaving them there.

“Never apologise for that Riza,” he chuckled. His voice was low and sounded heavenly as it turned husky. However there was still an air of frustration about him.

“You should go.” Go before this could escalate any further like Riza so sorely wanted it to.

Roy nodded, but his hands still lingered. His thumbs had begun stroking the skin of her sides as his hands resided _just_ underneath her t-shirt. It was currently getting harder and harder to think straight. “You know I don’t want to, don’t you?” He was searching her face or confirmation.

Riza smiled, the fear leaving her for a moment. “I know.” She cupped his cheek and pecked it. Afterwards, Roy pulled her into a tight hug. Riza clung to him, as if this was going to be the last time she could do it.

Any unspoken business they had regarding their “almost kiss” had just been dealt with. At least they were still on the same page. The thought should have made her happy, but it only brought regret.

That was also the first time they had admitted any kind of feelings towards each other.

“Why does this feel like goodbye?” she whispered. She felt him chuckle against her. If Riza could bottle that feeling and relive it for the rest of her life, she would.

“Not goodbye. Never goodbye,” he murmured. The close proximity to her ear made her shiver. “I don’t think I could.”

Riza had no response so she simply held him tighter.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys ;_; you bless me with your kind words and birthday wishes thank you SO MUCH <3  
> i couldn't not put out a chapter today because i have just finished writing chapter sixteen today and whooo boy it is a DOOZY and i want to get it out there as soon as possible  
> bless you all and i hope you enjoy this one!

“Mum?” a small voice called from outside the room. Roy felt Riza stiffen in his arms. He too froze, feeling as if they had been caught red handed. They hadn’t discussed such things, but Roy got the distinct feeling that Riza wouldn’t want her son to know about the true nature of their relationship. Not out of ill intentions, simply to protect him. There was no point in getting the boy’s hopes up about the possibility of a relationship when, in reality, it had practically turned to dust around them. That particular thought made Roy wince internally.

“Are you okay?” James asked, his voice wobbling with emotion.

Glancing down at the woman in his arms, he watched as she looked almost fearfully up at him. A tear had fallen onto her cheek. Roy knew he should let go and move away, but he couldn’t. So, instead, he removed his hands from rubbing her back to wiping away the tear. He smiled softly, watching Riza compose herself.

The woman who stepped around him was someone else entirely. The sadness she had just projected was gone and in its place was a mother’s concern for her child. It was like a mask had slipped over her face. As she moved away from him, Roy’s arms fell limp by his side. He got a distinct, painful feeling that this would be the last time they would ever be close again.

That kiss was worth it though.

“I’m all right James,” she smiled, bending to lift her son into her arms.

Watching her smile made Roy realise just how much he envied her. She portrayed a strength that Roy only wished he could possess half of. It was as if their previous conversation didn’t happen. Not in a malicious way, but in way that would stop the child from worry about his mother. In all honesty, Roy thought he was too young to worry about such things anyway. Judging by the way Riza had spoken about her childhood and raising James when they were in the park not too long ago, he knew she felt the same way.

Riza wiped away her son’s tears. “What are you crying for buddy?”

“I thought you were sad because of how I acted earlier.”

Riza chuckled, bringing the boy over to the couch. She sat down, hugging him close to her. Her eyes closed at the action and Roy wished he could go over there and join them. But he wasn’t the boy’s father. He wasn’t Riza’s partner. Instead he only had an empty apartment to return to.

“Not at all,” she replied softly. “You don’t need to worry about that. You just need to stop going in the huff when you don’t get your own way,” she smiled wryly, pinching his nose with a grin. The boy’s smile was tentative, but seeing that he wasn’t going to get into trouble, it widened. It warmed both their hearts.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled tiredly. James closed his eyes, resting his head on Riza’s shoulder. “I thought I heard you upset.”

“Not at you, buddy,” she replied, her voice quiet.

“Why were you crying?”

Damn, the boy was observant.

“I –”

“That was because of me,” Roy interjected. An idea occurred to him as Riza trailed off. “I told her about what you said to me today. I told you she wouldn’t get upset at you.” He smiled although inside he felt like doing anything but. However at this point, he was a becoming a master at hiding what he truly felt. It became incredibly handy while facing off against his father.

“What is Roy still doing here?” he mumbled, eyes closing, his mind already moving onto the next point of interest.

Riza shot him a look. “He is going home now. Roy was telling me you were asking about your Dad today,” Riza reiterated, no doubt wanting to get to the bottom of this. “Is that true?”

James was quiet for a long time. Roy had just begun to leave as he spoke again. He felt like this was not a conversation he should have been privy to.

“Yeah.” His voice was stronger, having shaken off the effects of sleep. “But if you don’t want to tell me it is okay.” Roy made a gesture that he was going to leave. Riza nodded, her face understanding. But the disappointment still remained there. “I like Roy,” James mumbled again, diverting from the conversation. “Jessica at school says he can’t be my Dad because he isn’t married to you but he feels like a Dad to me.”

The man froze while out of sight in the hallway, chest constricting painfully. Shit. His heart soared at the thought of the boy trusting and liking him that much. But that was not good for their current situation. A hand gripped on the front door’s handle, a slightly curious part of him waited to see what Riza’s reply would be.

“I know honey,” she whispered softly. “It would be great if he could be.”

And with those words, Roy walked out of the small family’s home. He couldn’t hear anymore. Because if he did, he would never leave.

His own apartment felt colder than it usually did. He went through the motions locking up. Once in bed, the last half hour played over and over in his head. He lay awake all night, unable to shake the painful weight from his chest. Just when everything was starting to go so right…

He had finally met someone he felt he could be happy with and his father threatened to ruin it all. He already was, just with a simple threat.

But, no… This wasn’t just about his father. Roy didn’t stand up to the man in the way he should. He was a push over when it came to his father. Granted, these were higher stakes than any normal person would play with. But goddamn it… Roy should fight for what he cared about.

He should fight for who he loved.

Giving up on sleep at six am, Roy got out of bed and changed to go to the gym. He had a lot of frustration and anger to work out and lifting heavy weights would be just the ticket. Grabbing his keys and work bag, he threw it over his shoulder with purpose. An hour or two in the gym would do the trick for the day. The thought of this becoming a daily thing to work out his frustrations sounded like a good idea, however it would mean that he would miss his morning elevator rides with his neighbours. The rides that had begun to get him out of bed early in the morning.

Two hours later Roy was out the gym, feeling lighter. His muscles ached from the exertion of an hour of weight training followed by a eight mile run. The workout had done the trick at venting his anger, but did nothing for his frustration at his current position. Even Havoc picked up on it when he walked into their office at nine o’clock.

“Who crapped in your cereal this morning?” were the first words out of his mouth, an eyebrow raised as Roy placed his coffee cup on his desk with more force than necessary, causing the burning liquid to slosh inside the cardboard, slightly burning Roy’s hand. “Also, why are you in on a Sunday?”

“I am sick and tired of that bastard ruining my life,” he growled, snatching the paper from atop his desk. On the front page, the Mayor was grinning and waving to a crowds outside City Hall. Some bullshit about opening a new state of the art library. Roy wondered where all the money for _that_ particularly extravagant project came from? Judging from Grumman’s budget reports, the city had no money to pay for such a project.  “You in?” he asked Havoc, his gaze raising to meet the blonde detective’s sharply.

Havoc watched him silently over the top of his coffee cup. He nodded slowly. “Where do you want to start?”

Roy tossed the newspaper in the trash bin by his desk.

His mood didn’t improve throughout the day as a certain time frame began to creep closer and closer. He had eyed his watch too many times while they were carrying out surveillance the Mayor’s office across the street. From past individual surveillance, Roy had determined the Mayor entered his office at around five o’clock every Sunday night. He stayed for about twenty minutes, making various phone calls, before leaving once more. Roy wanted to find out what those calls were about.

 Gaining access to the office building across from the office had been all too easy on a Sunday. There was no one to interrupt the two detectives as they worked and they wouldn’t be disrupting any work so the security guard let them in no problem.

“Would you stop checking your watch so damn often,” Havoc griped as he looked through the pair of binoculars.

“How did you know I was checking my watch?”

“I can hear you moving constantly. It’s irritating.”

“Well so are you but here we are.”

Havoc lowered the piece of equipment and glared at his grinning partner.

“Seriously Mustang, what is up with you? Got a hot date tonight that you are going to ditch me early for?”

Ignoring the painful feeling in his chest and the fleeting thought of _I wish_ , Roy snorted derisively. “No.”

“Then what?”

Interrupting the conversation, Roy’s phone buzzed in his pocket. Grateful for not having to answer the question, he answered it with a pleased smirk. Havoc rolled his eyes in reply, going back to his binoculars. “Mustang.”

“Hey Roy!” a child’s voice called into the phone. He winced at the volume.

“James?” he replied in confusion. Why would he be calling him? His stomach clenched at the thought that something bad had happened.

“Where are you?” he asked, his tone accusatory. “Tonight is Xbox night! Uncle Jean can’t make it tonight because he is working so I thought we could play Lego Avengers together.”

“Ah…” Shit. “Sorry James, I have to work tonight with your Uncle Jean. I won’t make it.” Havoc gave him a sidelong glance.

Silence.

“Hey buddy,” Havoc called from his spot, eyes returning to his binoculars.

Still silence.

Roy sucked in a guilty breath. In his frustration and bad mood this morning, he had forgotten about their Sunday nights. For the last couple of weeks James had been coming round to Roy’s house for an hour or two to play the Xbox with him. They called Havoc in too and the three of them played games together. Roy would be lying if he said it wasn’t one of the highlights of his week.

“I’m really sorry buddy –”

“It’s okay,” he replied sadly.

 _Shit_.

“I’ll make it up to you,” he replied before thinking. _Stop it! This was not part of the “stay away to protect them” plan!_ “I promise.”

“It’s okay,” he repeated. “Mum said you might be working.”

Roy’s stomach clenched at the mention of her. God, he really wished it wouldn’t.

“Did you talk everything through with her?” Roy asked, lifting the binoculars to his eyes once more as he spotted a black car roll up outside City Hall. The windows were tinted black so they couldn’t see who was inside.

“Yeah,” he replied. His voice seemed… Lighter. Like a burden had been lifted from him. “We talked about my Dad this morning. I’ve got a picture of him now and I know what he looks like. Mum says I have his eyes but I don’t know how that is possible. I have my own eyes.”

Roy chuckled. “I’m happy for you bud.” He nudged Havoc with his elbow, nodding to the car as his father stepped out. A series of clicks sounded as Havoc took photos of the man entering the building. “And I am sorry about tonight. I will make it up to you, I promise.”

“Okay! I can’t wait!” The knot in Roy’s stomach loosed slightly as he heard James’ excited tone. Then, there was a muffled conversation on the other side other phone.

“James? Who are you talking to?” Riza asked.

“No one!” James exclaimed in a poor attempt at lying, no doubt to his mother. A second later, the call disconnected.

Roy sighed as he lowered the phone away from his face.

“You stood up the poor kid,” Havoc stated in mock disgust, shaking his head, but not without a grin.

“I was preoccupied.” Havoc didn’t know the whole story between himself and Riza and the raven-haired man didn’t particularly want to get into it right now.

“I just hope you have a pretty big surprise planned,” he joked. Upon seeing the troubled look on Roy’s face, Havoc dropped his jokes. “What’s up?”

His question was sincere and Roy almost told him there and then. He needed to get it off his chest, needed to tell _someone_ , but the universe once again decided to get in his way.

Quickly checking his watch then scribbling down the time, Roy lifted the binoculars once more, he peered through them. Right on time, his father entered his office. Dropping the conversation, Havoc copied his partner, alternating between the equipment and his camera. Roy flipped on the recording device as he connected to the bugs in the Mayor’s office. There was a barely distinguishable _click_ before they heard the man humming to himself.

They both watched as Richard Mustang lowered himself into his desk chair and picked up the phone. He was dressed in an expensive suit. Roy guessed that was the type of man he was, always flaunting his money and wealth as a means to intimidate and to brag to those around him.

“Hello gorgeous,” he answered as the call connected. A sleazy grin spread over his face.

“Richard,” a rich, sultry female voice replied. “It is a pleasure to hear your voice.”

His father chuckled while Roy felt sick to his stomach. _What the fuck?_

“Will we meet at our usual spot?”

“Oh yes,” she drawled. The two detectives glanced at each other. The target would be on the move soon. “Bring your top game, _sir_.”

This went on for a couple more minutes, their words becoming more and more suggestive. Both detective’s faces mirrored one another. Disgust was the common denominator.

“That’s it,” Roy announced, ripping the headphones off his head. Bile rose in the back of his throat. “I’m out.”

“Dude,” Havoc replied after a minute of further listening. “Your dad is a dirty old man. You don’t want to _know_ what I am hearing right now.”

“He is _not_ my father. And I think I am gonna puke.” Standing abruptly, he walked out of the room and away from the thought of the man across the street using his office to make questionable phone calls to women like that. Women who weren’t his wife.

Roy’s fists clenched by his side in anger. He knew the Mayor wasn’t the most committed man in the world. His existence proved it. But his wife? The poor woman probably had no idea how much of a sleazy bastard the man was.

Well, today hadn’t been a total loss. Despite the rising bile at the thought of what Havoc was currently groaning in disgust about, at least all their hard work would be able to help someone.

Starting with the Mayor’s wife. 

* * *

“His name is Matt,” Riza stated, offering her son a photo of his father. It had been taken during the summer after their last day of high school. Both teenagers were smiling at the camera. Both were happy. The sun had caught Matt’s hair in the way she had always admired, turning the brown locks copper. The freckles on his face splayed out over his nose and cheeks, the same way they did for James during the summer months. James had Matt’s eyes, both having blue irises. The shape was the same too. When he was a toddler Riza had seen so much of the boy’s father in those eyes.

It was crazy to think this was eight years ago. A lot had hanged since then. Mostly for the better.

“We were together in high school and for a few months afterwards,” she continued after a deep breath. A dull ache in her chest that she thought would be long resurfaced. “When I found out I was pregnant with you I was so happy and I told your Dad.” Riza fell silent as she replayed those memories over in her head. Pain that she thought was long gone lanced through her chest anew.

“Was he happy to meet me?” James asked quietly.

Riza didn’t want to tell him the truth. “He left me after I told him. Disappeared. He was scared.” James face crumpled. “He was only young. We both were.” Riza watched as James’ mouth wobbled. He nodded and stared down at the picture. “Sometimes the people we love do bad things, sometimes they make mistakes, because we are only human. And, just because we love them, doesn’t mean we should always forgive them. But it was a long time ago.”

“Have you forgiven him for going away?”

Riza considered her son’s question. “I think I have. Like I said, it was a long time ago. I still don’t like what he did to me or you. But, he did help give me one of the best gifts in the world.” She wrapped an arm around his shoulders tightly, pulling him against her side.

“Was it a necklace?” James asked, a frown creasing his brow. “Jamie says his Dad gives his Mum lots of necklaces.”

Riza chuckled. “No, silly. It was much better than a necklace. He helped give me you.”

“Did I come wrapped up in a box?”

Riza tried to keep a tight rein on her laughter. Pursing her lips, she nodded. _That_ was a conversation for another day. “Yes. A big bright green box with a blue ribbon on top.”

James’ eyes lit up at the mention of his favourite colour. “Really? That’s my favourite colour! How did he know?”

“Parents just know these things,” Riza shrugged and grinned.

Taking a shaky breath, James sighed, gaze returning to the photo in his hands. He stared at it intently as he held it gingerly, like it was one of the most precious things in the world. “He might not have been happy but I am.”

“Yeah?” Surprise tinted her voice.

James nodded. “I finally know what he looks like and his name.”

Rebecca pushed the door open to their favourite café in Central, holding it open for Riza behind her. Smiling and thanking her friend, the blonde scanned the room to find an empty table. Pinpointing one in the back corner, they both made a beeline for it.

Riza replayed the conversation from a few weeks ago in her head. Rebecca had asked about how James took the news, which got her reminiscing. Rebecca was the only one who knew about Matt. Havoc wasn’t aware of the full story. Rebecca was known to share things with her partner, but the brunette knew that Riza’s situation was something she couldn’t share with anyone right from day one. Riza had begged her not to anyway. The wounds were too fresh. Plus, Havoc had threatened to kill anyone who had hurt her this way when the blonde woman had shown up at his door pregnant and sobbing uncontrollably. Riza still loved Matt at that point so she told the blonde that wasn’t the case. Havoc still thought it was due to something that went down with her father, which wasn’t wrong. Her father kicked her out his house the same day Riza discovered Matt had left. The two combined were too much for the hormonal Riza.

All things considered, James had taken the news surprisingly well. It had been difficult for Riza to dig up her painful past, but she was glad she did so. James was happy to know who his father was. It had also been a form of therapy for her to talk it all out with her son. It had been nice to share that moment with him, even if it had still hurt Riza at the time.

She finally felt like she would be able to let go. It would take time, but the possibility was finally there.

“Same as usual?” Rebecca asked, draping her jacket and scarf over the back of her chair.

Riza nodded. “Yes please,” she replied, removing her own outerwear.

It was a cold Tuesday. The November air seemed to go right through her normally windproof jacket, chilling both women to the bone. So, instead of their usual afternoon walk during Riza’s lunch break, they opted for a detour to Miller’s, one of the best places in Central to get coffee.

It had been just over two weeks since The Incident with Roy and Riza hadn’t seen him since. She wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. The blonde was definitely leaning towards bad because after that kiss she wanted nothing more than to spend time with him. She even missed their morning elevator rides. James kept asking about their raven-haired neighbour too and Riza was finding it more and more difficult to come up with excuses.

The day after The Incident Roy had been working. She wasn’t sure if that had been a convenient excuse, but Jean had assured her they were in fact working. This past weekend James had a project due at school which they diligently worked on, which kept him busy. Riza had felt like she was clutching at straws for an excuse this upcoming weekend, until Rebecca had invited her round. It had almost become a weekly tradition that on a Sunday James would go around to Roy’s for an hour or two while she made dinner for the three of them. She hated having to explain to her son that they wouldn’t be able to do it again. He loved his unofficial Aunt and Uncle, but the disappointment on his face almost made Riza crumble right there.

Rebecca, of course, picked up immediately that something wasn’t right. The brunette had tried to draw it out of her during last Tuesday’s lunch, but conveniently Riza was able to steer the conversation away from the topic. Jean had an inkling too, stating that Roy appeared to be distracted at work this week and told Becca to ask if Riza knew anything about it.

Why would she? That was the reply she gave and was perhaps slightly too sharp with her tone. That clued in her oldest friend and Riza knew that one way or another, the truth was going to come out.

A coffee cup was placed in front of Riza, who smiled and thanked her friend. It was her turn this week to get the coffee. Normally they passed by this place and got a drink to go, but today they decided to treat themselves. Rebecca never worked a Tuesday now either, so it was nice being able to at least have an hour a week to catch up. Of course now, that meant spilling the beans. Riza’s stomach clenched in response.

Plopping down in her chair, the brunette rested an elbow in the table, pointing her index finger at Riza. “Spill,” was her simple command.

“Spill what?” Riza asked causally which earned her a hard look from Rebecca.

“You know _fine well_ what. Spill.”

Taking a deep breath, Riza was about to launch herself headfirst into the joke that was her life, when a familiar laugh caught her attention. Eyes rising involuntarily, she sought out the person who she both wanted and dreaded to see.

On the opposite end of the room, at a table by the window, she spotted Roy Mustang. He was laughing with the woman to his right, his arm around the back of her chair. He looked so happy and carefree… Riza’s heart sank.

But before Riza could hide it, Rebecca whipped around in her chair, searching the room. “Oh, I am going to kick his _ass_ ,” she muttered, beginning to rise from her chair.

“ _Becca_ ,” Riza hissed, grabbing her friend’s hand and yanking her back down into her chair. “No.”

“Look, whatever is happening with you two I can see you are in deep. I’m not stupid. I could tell there was something going on between you two whenever you were together. But for him to do this? That is a kick in the teeth.” She made to rise again.

“It is not what you think?”

“What?” Rebecca asked incredulously. “Riza, you like him don’t you?” The blonde remained silent. “ _Really_ like him –”

“Okay, yes!” she exclaimed in irritation. Rebecca would push and push this until she got her answer. Either that, or she really would go over there and give Roy a verbal ass kicking. Riza _really_ didn’t want to draw attention to herself. “Fine. I do.”

“And you are okay with… This?” Rebecca gestured behind her, her tone filled with disgust.

“No, I am not. But it is not what you think.” She swallowed, pushing down the fact she had spotted Roy with two other women while she had been out around the city the past two weeks. Each time seeing how happy he had been sent a dagger through her chest. That could have been her with him. It _should_ have been.

 _So much for “that’s why I don’t get close to anyone now”_ , a small and bitter part of her thought.

“Oh really?” Goddamn this woman and her sarcasm. “Well then, enlighten me.”

“You know about his father, right?”

Rebecca hesitated. There appeared to be an internal debate within her head. She finally nodded. “Jean told me. I’m not supposed to know but I can be very persuasive.”

Riza smirked. “I don’t know if I would call it persuasive.”

Rebecca scoffed. “I would definitely call it persuasive. What kind of gal do you take me for?” Riza raised an eyebrow, a grin forming on her lips. She asked silently, _do you really want me to answer that?_ “Don’t answer that.”

“I thought so,” Riza grinned.

“ _Anyway_ ,” the brunette emphasised. “You are stalling again. Don’t think I haven’t noticed Miss Hawkeye.”

“Don’t surname me.”

Rebecca motioned with her hand, telling Riza to hurry up with her explanation. “ _And_ …?”

“Well… When we went to that benefit in October, Roy and his father got into an argument which I accidentally stumbled across.”

“Shit.”

“Yes. And it wasn’t good. I don’t want to get into it too much but it sounded like Roy was saying that he wished he hadn’t been born. That’s when I realised.”

“Realised what?”

Riza gave her a meaningful look, just as the sound of Roy’s laughter reached her again, making her heart constrict painfully. “I _realised_.”

“Oh! Ohhh…” Realisation dawned on Rebecca. It was at that point when Riza realised how much she didn’t like to hear him speak about himself in that way. It had bothered her a great deal. “So you do really like him.”

Riza nodded. “Maybe more than that.” A thrill shot through her, prickling her skin at the revelation. She had only recently admitted to herself her true feelings for the man sitting only a couple of metres away. It felt like too much to admit it to someone else.

“Shit.”

“Story of my life,” Riza joked. However Rebecca frowned, but didn’t comment, on the self-depreciation.

“So… Why have things not gone further?”

Checking her surroundings briefly, Riza whispered her answer once satisfied. The room was that busy and they were apart from the other customers so no one would be able to overhear their conversation. “Roy told me the Mayor implied a threat against me.”

“No fucking way,” Rebecca replied in disbelief, leaning back in her chair. The coffees between them were forgotten now.

“Yes fucking way,” Riza replied. “Something similar happened with his Aunt and she ended up in a very suspicious car crash. So we agreed not to pursue it. For James’ sake.”

“That’s… Damn, I never even thought about him. That’s good then. You’re not being stupid.”

“Did you expect anything less?”

“Of course not. But you are not happy about it and he isn’t happy about it either.”

“Of course I’m not happy. I just want something in my life to be fucking simple for a change and I want my son to be safe. But, how do you know Roy isn’t?” A glimmer of hope filled her, but Riza squashed it down. It wouldn’t happen. There was no point in hanging onto her hopes.

“Jean told me. At work Mustang has been distracted. Jean keeps trying to get an answer out of him, but nothing yet. And you are an awesome Mum, Riza. You have sacrificed and done everything for that kid. He is happy, safe, and well cared for when he is with you. Don’t forget that.”

Riza nodded and smiled her thanks for the reassurance.

“ _But_ ,” Rebecca stressed. “If the opportunity rises, don’t sacrifice your happiness. You have been through too much already not to get something out of it.” She fixed her friend with a hard stare. Then sighed. “This explains a lot. I’ll invite Roy over for a boy’s night. Then force Jean to get him to spill the beans.”

“Force?” Riza asked, a smile tugging up on of the corners of her mouth. Remembering her beverage, she lifted the cup to her lips.

“Fine. Persuade,” Rebecca winked and Riza laughed.

The pair continued to talk about Riza’s current predicament, but there wasn’t much more for the blonde to say. They were stuck in a stalemate right now and there was nothing that could be done. And she wouldn’t expect Roy to wait around for her, as much as it pained her to say at that moment in time. That would be ridiculous and grossly unfair. He should be free to date whomever he wished.

Once the beverages were finished, Riza noted with slight disappointment that it was time for her to return to work. It was nearing one o’clock and she only had two more hours to work. She worked eight thirty to three in order to accommodate dropping off and picking up James from school. Her boss was good in that way. They had allowed Riza to be very flexible when it came to her working hours and it had been a godsend.

As Riza approached the door, she knew she would come into Roy’s view. So, she shoved everything down inside her. This would be good practice.

Just as expected, Roy looked over at her as she approached, the movement catching his eye. His smile dropped from his face. Surprise flittered across his face, before a brief sadness over took him. He smiled at her and it felt like they were both the only two in the room. The sounds drowned out around Riza as she basked in the warmth of the gesture. But the sound of the coffee machines hissing loudly brought her crashing back to reality.

“Hey Roy,” she greeted cheerily in an attempt to drown out the thoughts bashing around painfully inside her skull. “Hello,” she greeted his companion. “Lunch break?” she asked casually.

He nodded. “Yeah. Just catching up with an old friend. Catalina,” he nodded to the brunette in greeting.

“What’s up?” she asked. Riza noticed the lack of a glare on her face, which was a good thing. When they had first discovered Roy was here, Riza was afraid the brunette would not be able to hold her tongue should they strike up a quick conversation.

“Not much, yourself?”

Rebecca shrugged. “Can’t complain. Just enjoying a day off.”

Roy nodded. “Guys, this is Claire,” he added, as if remembering introductions. The two woman smiled and greeted her. “Claire, this is Riza, my neighbour, and Rebecca.”

“Nice to meet you,” Rebecca replied. “We’d love to stay but she’s got to get back to work,” Rebecca added, jerking her head towards the blonde.

“And who is she?” Riza asked indignantly, turning to face her friend with a grin. “The cat’s mother?”

“ _Fine_ ,” Rebecca sighed dramatically. “Queen Riza Hawkeye, first of her name, mother of James Hawkeye, Queen of Kicking Butt in Poker and Queen of Making a Killer Bolognese, has to return to her place of work. I am charged with the task of escorting her back to the premises.” She even curtsied.

Riza elbowed her friend. “Smart ass.”

“You asked for it.”

“You have also been watching Game of Thrones too much.”

“You can _never_ watch too much Game of Thrones.”

“It’s a fair point,” Roy chipped in, his own grin gracing his handsome face in the way Riza loved.

“Anyway,” Riza chuckled. “I need to get back. It was nice to see you. Nice to meet you Claire.”

As the two walked out the door, Riza chuckled once more. “I hate you,” she told Rebecca.

The woman laughed and grabbed her friend’s arm. “You love me really.”

“And damn right I am the Queen of Poker.”

“I am convinced you cheat. Nobody is _that_ good.”

“Have you considered you are maybe just terrible at it?”

The brunette huffed in response.

Riza meant it when she told Claire it was nice to meet her. The woman was beautiful. Her long red hair was braided over her right shoulder while shorter hairs framed her face. Freckles dotted her cheeks and across her nose, part of the package that came with her hair and fair skin. And she seemed genuinely nice. Claire had even laughed at Rebecca’s dumb joke, her eyes crinkling as she grinned. If Roy was going to be with someone else, Riza hoped it would be someone who would treat him right. He deserved that much at least after what his father put him through.

They couldn’t be together because Roy didn’t want to endanger her and her son. Riza admired that and respected him for it. But it didn’t mean he couldn’t be with someone. It hurt to think about, but that would change with time.

Riza, however, felt like she had had enough of love for one lifetime. The universe clearly didn’t want her to be loved. Her first one left her up shit creek without a paddle. The second one had a crazy father who had threatened to hurt and possibly kill her and/or her son.

Boy, she sure knew how to pick them.

At least she still had James. She had someone who needed and depended on her. She only wished Roy would find someone like that too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note! I am now on tumblr and twitter! Feel free to follow for fic updates, general royai posts, and possibly fic preview snippets...!  
> tumblr: fullmetalscullyy (with two 'y's!)  
> twitter: fullmetalscully


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woooo here we go lads this is The Beginning of all the angst so you better strap in  
> there goes the plan of me making this an all happy fic xD but! there will be much fluff and happiness after this "arc" so hang tight  
> enjoy!

Before Roy knew it, they were into December. Christmas loomed ever closer and with the holiday period fast approaching, work load increased. Roy didn’t know what made people crazy around Christmas. It was truly perplexing.

His usual Christmas tradition was to go to his Aunt’s house and celebrate with the whole family. This was his first Christmas not being at home and while he would have liked to have a celebration of his own in his own home, it would be a very sad affair with only one person. So, when Aunt Chris all but demanded him to come home for the holidays, he agreed whole heartedly.

Also, a small part of him hoped that some time away from his apartment might do him some good on the I-am-in-love-with-my-neighbour-but-can’t-be-with-her front.

He had stopped trying to deny it now. At least, to himself.

On the nineteenth of December he was packing to return home when he received an extremely unexpected visitor to his home.

Astonishment was the only way to describe his reaction as he witnessed the Mayor’s wife outside of his door. Closing his mouth, he finally recovered from his shock.

“Hello. I am sorry to turn up unannounced to your home.” Roy still couldn’t formulate an appropriate response. Vaguely he heard the elevator _ding_ down the hall and the chatter of a child’s and a woman’s voice. It quickly turned quiet. “My name is Clarice,” she smiled. “It is a pleasure to finally meet you Roy.”

Riza walked past his door with James, but not without a glance at him. Unable to resist the temptation, he met her gaze. Her expression was simply curious, then eyes widened a fraction as the realisation of who the woman was struck her.

“Hey Roy!” James called excitedly. His face lit up as he saw the older man. They hadn’t really seen each other properly in weeks. Roy conveniently had begun to leave for work earlier in the morning, stopping off at the gym beforehand. He missed their shared lift rides.

Clarice turned and smiled at the boy.

“Hey James,” he replied, finally getting his brain to work again.

“Is that your Mum?” he asked innocently and loudly.

Riza grabbed his shoulder and steered him to their door quickly. “Let’s go James! We need to get packing.”

“Aw!” he almost wailed. “I don’t want to pack.”

“Too bad!” Riza replied, no doubt embarrassed by her son’s very loud question. Clarice, for her part, just chuckled at him. A small part of him was curious about what they were packing for, but that was none of his business.

“Would you like to come in?”

“I would love to,” she smiled kindly.

It may have been a mistake, inviting this particular woman into his home, but her kind smile swayed him otherwise. Plus, he knew this meeting would come eventually. He just didn’t expect her to come to his home. The case against his father had been put on the back burner as frequency of crimes crept up in the last few weeks.

Roy showed her through the living room and cringed slightly at the state of it. Given his current circumstances he didn’t have many visitors so he didn’t bother about keeping the place guest ready at all times. Currently, clothes were hanging up on a clothes horse to the left of his television, his underwear in full view of his “step mother”.

“Ah, sorry about the mess,” he stated, picking up pieces of paper and gathering them in his work bag. It wouldn’t do to have pieces of paper incriminating the woman’s husband lying about for her to see.

Clarice waved away his concerns. “Not to worry. I love your home. It looks very welcoming and cosy,” she added with an almost wistful lilt to her voice.

“Thank you,” he replied.

“Right, down to business,” she began, taking a seat on his couch. This was clearly a woman who wasted no time. She crossed her ankles below her and reached into her purse. Clarice had come prepared because a manila folder was produced and laid out on the coffee table. Placing her expensive purse on the floor beside her, she opened the folder and spread out he contents. Roy’s eyes widened as he spotted various documents he already possessed.

All incriminating the Mayor.

“Where did you get these?” he asked cautiously, lifting one to confirm it was the same tax report Grumman had given him.

“From my husband’s accountant. I overheard a conversation you had with Richard at his benefit. To be perfectly honest with you I wasn’t even aware you existed until that day.”

 _That_ interested him. Just how far did the Mayor’s deceit go?

“Imagine my shock when I found out who you were.” Roy swallowed. It wasn’t said threateningly, her tone was in fact very dry and the edges of her lips quirked upwards. She wasn’t shocked in the slightest. “When I overheard parts of it I did some digging of my own. Paul is a dear friend of mine and immediately did as I asked regarding fraud. It turns out Richard has been involved in some… questionable activities. His accountant – Paul – the poor man nearly has an aneurysm trying to write up my husband’s tax reports. I knew something was afoot, so I investigated. This is everything you should need to convict him.”

“This…” What the fuck? Where… Where had this all come from? And since when did he get so lucky that information like this just fell into his lap? “Pardon me for asking Madame Mayor, but why should I accept this from you?”

She smiled softly. “Clarice is fine. I don’t expect you to. This is not a bribe. I am simply offering the police the evidence needed for their investigation.” She fell silent and contemplative after that. Roy was too engrossed in flicking through the contents of the folder to notice. The woman’s next words tore his attention away. “I was deeply saddened to learn your existence had been kept from me, Roy. You and your mother did not deserve the treatment Richard gave you.”

“No, we didn’t,” he replied sharply. The anger he held towards the treatment of his mother returned with a vengeance. This woman _had_ offered nothing but support and condolences. But she was still tied to the Mayor. This could all be a ruse to get him to admit he was building a case against his father. But then again, it might not be. She could be sincere.

“I would like to apologise for that.” Clarice’s gaze bore into his, as if willing Roy to understand. “I don’t expect forgiveness. I am not stupid, I always knew Richard wasn’t faithful. I just didn’t think he would do what he did to you. That was not the man I married.

“After we had our child he lost interest in me completely. It was a marriage of convenience, pure and simple. He didn’t protest when Millicent and I moved out of the house and into our own over fifteen years ago. He has one goal in life and it is to have complete power and control.”

That explained the mind games and threats. Although, Roy could have told the woman that himself.

“I had served my purpose and was tossed on the back burner.” Roy noted the bitterness in her voice. “I didn’t do anything because Millicent and I were happy. We were away from him and were only required to attend official parties four times a year. A small price to pay to maintain our happiness and lifestyle. Possessing the knowledge I have now, I wish I had done more.”

“Millicent is your daughter, correct?”

Clarice nodded, a large smile appearing on her face. “Yes. Millicent is my pride and joy, although she will kill me for saying it,” she chuckled. She bent for her purse, rifling through it. She pulled out a photograph and held it out to him. “This is your half-sister. She is three years older than you and she has a little girl with her husband. Poppy is five years old.”

With a start, Roy realised this was the woman who had helped him the night of the benefit. “Holy shit,” he whispered. She had approached him on the dancefloor to tell him Havoc’s mission had been a success.

“Excuse me?”

“Oh, sorry! No, it’s just… The night of the benefit I met her. Worked with her, actually. I didn’t even know who she was.”

“It is a small world after all,” Clarice grinned. She retrieved the photograph from Roy’s outstretched hand. He ran a hand through his hair in disbelief. So both mother and daughter were working against the Mayor. He had to admit, it was nice to know both he and Havoc weren’t working alone. His mind was already racing with questions to ask her, but something held him back. The warning he had given Riza flashed through his mind. “ _The Mayor had his ways of knowing these things_ ”. Was this a trap? Clarice noticed his hesitation in an instant.

“I understand you have reason to doubt me. I would be disappointed if you didn’t. Olivier Armstrong has told me how good a detective you are, that is why I sought you out personally.” Wow, a compliment from the captain? Today was just getting too farfetched for his liking. “I thought you of all people would understand why I want him out of office and put away for each of his wrongdoings.”

“I do understand, but also understand that a threat has been made on my family and friends before. I do not take to trusting that side of my family easily.”

Clarice nodded, her face falling in disappointment. “That is a fair judgement. Again, this is not a bribe, but a peace offering. A show of faith.” She dipped into her purse one final time, pulling out another folder. Hesitantly, she placed it on the coffee table next to the others. It was nondescript, offering no indication of the information inside. “I only ask you read what is in here before making up your mind about my daughter and I.”

Clarice stood, indicating she would be taking her leave. Roy stood and escorted her to the door. She paused in the middle of the hall. “Once this is all over, I am leaving him. I have stood back from it all for too long and not taken any action. I have my own money squared away so that I will be unaffected by Richard’s demise. So, if you would ever like to get to know myself or your stepsister, feel free to give me a call.” She produced a business card from her Chanel suit. “If you don’t, I won’t be offended.”

Roy stared at the white card. The writing was gold and he had to tilt it in the light to read it fully.

“I am very sorry for all that has befallen you in life, Roy. You seem like a lovely man who is trying to do right by the people in this city, and I respect that.”

“Thank you ma’am.”

She smiled and patted him on the shoulder before exiting into the hallway. It was such a maternal gesture that Roy stared as she walked away. Closing his apartment door, his mind raced as it digested the information it had just received.

Then there was that other folder Clarice had produced. Almost fearfully, Roy approached it. It could contain anything within it. A knot had appeared in his stomach, unease spreading through his body.

He lifted it up, noting its weight. There wasn’t much inside the folder itself. He flipped it open to find a photograph of a smiling woman. Her hair was bobbed and dark. It hung by her chin, a few strands tucked behind one ear. She was grinning at the camera, her dark eyes shining in amusement. Like _his_ dark eyes. The sight of her made Roy’s ability to breathe cease. His gaze snaked up to the top of the page, where a name lay in the centre.

 

_Ruth Ferrier_

 

Scanning the document frantically, his eyes fell upon more information.

Date of birth, current address, named family members.

His face paled.

 _Son: Roy Mustang_.

This woman was…

His mother.

Sinking slowly into the couch beneath him, Roy stared at her face. Vision narrowed and his breathing quickened. Her face swam before his eyes. The file dropped from his hands and landed on the floor, the pieces of paper splaying around his feet. Roy rubbed hand over his chin and then over his face. Pressing the heels of his hands into both eyes he stifled the pressure building.

Retrieving the file once more, Roy looked upon its contents. Looking at his mother he could see a resemblance between the two of them. They had the same almond eyes, same face shape. Roy knew he never inherited his father’s looks, which he was extremely grateful for. He definitely got his mother’s features.

Most importantly, she was alive.

There was a current address attached to the file that was right here in Central.

Roy wasn’t sure how Clarice had gotten a hold of this information. He would certainly be calling her back to both ask and thank her.

He wanted to… Roy didn’t know what he wanted to do. Or, he couldn’t decide what to do. He started with pacing in his living room. He wanted to jump for joy, he wanted to cry, he wanted to _tell someone_ … And finally, he wanted to go and see his mother right now.

For twenty eight years he had never known this woman. He had never known if she was all right or if she was even alive. His mother had begged Chris not to tell anyone where she was, out of fear of his father coming for her. His aunt had agreed, but not happily. That was all Roy had ever been told.

For years he had begged to Chris too, desperate for her to take him to his mother and for years the woman had told him no. As a child he had never understood it. It wasn’t until his sixteenth birthday that he finally found out the truth.

Grabbing his keys and the folder, he shrugged on his jacket, slamming his front door in his haste to get to his car.

Driving through the streets of Central, a giddiness had followed him. He kept it reigned in, but every now and then he would let out a laugh of disbelief and his grip would tighten on the wheel. As he drove, he reached the outskirts of Central. The area had gotten slightly more rundown-looking compared to the centre and his neighbourhood, but the houses were still nice with every second or third one looking like it didn’t quite belong in the area. The latter had pristine cut grass and very well-tended to plants. The former, overgrown grass and hedges spilled onto the pavement.

Pulling up in front of 72 Fraser Road, Roy parked and simply stared at the detached house. It was an old building, the grey brick looking worn down by the elements. The garden was slightly overgrown, but not as bad as some of the other houses. It was winter after all and snow fall had been common over the past few weeks. Even in this garden there were patches of snow in the now bare plant pots.

The living room light was on and shadows moved beyond the blinds. It was only five o’clock but the winter sun was already gone from the sky. His heart in his throat, he wondered if that was his mother walking around in the house. According to the file she was forty eight now. Her birthday was last month. Did she live alone? Did she have a family? These questions burned in his mind. The thought of her living alone all this time filled him with a sadness that was so overwhelming it stole his breath away.

The sound of a door opening caught his attention. The green door to his mother’s house opened and she stepped outside. She wore a thick jacket and pulled it tightly around her against the cold. Glancing up at the sky, she lowered her gaze as she closed the door behind her, retrieving the bag of rubbish. She walked down the path, slippers slapping on the concrete, and opened the bin at the end of it, tossing it in. It must be collection day tomorrow because other bins were staggered along the street.

His breath caught in his throat as he watched her. Pressure built behind his eyes. This was his mother. He knew it as soon as he looked at her. There was no doubt about it. For over twenty years he had tried to search for her only to be pushed back and here she was, only ten feet away from him.

Before he could stop himself he opened his car door and stood, one hand braced atop it. His mother turned to look at the noise but continued about her business of returning into her house. It was the eye contact that stopped him. _His eyes_.

“Excuse me,” he called, his mouth acting before his brain could stop him. Or at least think his actions through. She paused and turned in confusion, looking behind her.

“Yes?” she asked warily. Instinctively, she pulled her coat closer to her body.

Roy’s mind stuttered to a stop. Her voice was soft when she spoke, barely carrying the distance between the two of them. If he wanted to hold a conversation with her, he would need to move closer.

“I… Uh… I’m looking for Ruth Ferrier?” he choked the name out, tears building unbidden once more. His mother had a _name_. It wasn’t simply His Mother, as he had referred to her for the majority of his life. She had a face. She had a life.

“Sorry, there is no Ruth Ferrier that lives here,” she replied, her voice shaking. Glancing fearfully from side to side, she retreated into her front garden. “Goodnight.”

Roy followed her and stopped at the gate. His mother was already at her front door.

“Wait! _You_ are Ruth Ferrier,” he replied, not picking up on her meaning. Of course she would change her name. If she was that afraid of the Mayor’s wrath then it would be a plausible scenario she would.

“No I’m…” she trailed off as she looked at him once more. From where Roy had been standing before, his face had been in the shadows. Now, underneath the streetlight outside her garden fence, his mother could see his face. Her own features paled as she laid her eyes on him. “…Roy?” she whispered.

He nodded twice, anticipation prickling over his skin. His voice was thick as he spoke, the words struggling to get out of his mouth. “It’s me.”

A hand rose to her mouth, covering it in her shock. She took a step down the stairs, her hand grabbing the railing at the side to keep her up. “My son?”

Pushing open the gate, he strode forwards. Recovering from his shock, he produced his driver’s license from his wallet. Dragging her eyes off his face, she made a noise which was a mix of joy and a sob. Pressing a hand to his cheek, she turned his face gently to study him. “It’s really you,” she whispered as tears fell down her cheeks.

Roy smiled, his own tears falling. “It’s me.”

Mother and son embraced on the front steps of the home, both sobbing quietly, but happily. 

* * *

The knock at Riza’s door couldn’t have come at a worse time. She had just begun to cook their dinner. It was already late because she had helped James do his homework – which took longer than expected – and finished packing for their trip to Jean and Rebecca’s for Christmas. They would be staying there for the holidays and the New Year. It had been a yearly tradition ever since James was born and Riza was loath to stop it now. Before the holiday had meant nothing to her. After her mother died it was just another day of the year. Berthold certainly didn’t celebrate it anymore. That man sucked the life out of everything around him once Amelia Hawkeye passed away. Christmas was no different.

As James’ first Christmas approached, Riza hadn’t planned anything. It had been a painful day for her in the past so she didn’t want to make a fuss about anything. However, she had been staying with Rebecca in East City at the time and God knows that woman didn’t do anything in halves.

James had woken up earlier than usual, around five o’clock, so Riza had gotten out of bed and fed him, taking him on a walk through the house to settle him again. Both Rebecca and Jean were already up and in the living room, laying out presents. When Riza had entered the room, they had looked like two children caught with their hands in the biscuit tin.

The duo had bought presents for both her and James and had prepared a large lunch for them three of them. That was the second time Jean had properly seen her cry. His face had been a picture. Clearly he hadn’t had much experience dealing with hormonal women. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for her and she had been so overwhelmed she had broken down after Rebecca explained everything. Now, looking back, she smiled at the memory.

Impatiently she opened the door, wiping her hands on the hand towel that she had tucked into the waist band of her trousers. But there was no one there. Keeping a hold on the door, Riza glanced up and down the empty hallway. Irritated at the interruption, she closed the door behind her. The caller had obviously gotten impatient and left. Riza huffed to herself in irritation. It hadn’t taken her _that_ long to answer the door.

“Mum! The potatoes are making that funny noise again!” James called through to her just as she re-entered the kitchen.

“Ouch, inside voice James,” Riza teased, pretending to ring out her ear.

“I didn’t know you were right there. I wanted you to hear me.”

“I think the whole building heard you James,” Riza quipped.

“I’m hungry,” he whined, climbing up onto his chair at the table. He was shorter than other children his age and still had to jump himself up onto the chair.

“I know buddy, I’m sorry. I am going as quickly as I can.”

He must have noted the frustration in her voice. “Would you like me to help?” he asked quietly.

Riza smiled at his thoughtfulness. “That would be lovely honey. Can you take these over to the table?” She handed him two glasses. One was pint sized, the other was his favourite neon green plastic cup. Although, due to overuse, the colour had dulled to a bottle-green but the boy was still very attached.

He nodded, slowly taking the drinks from his mother’s hands. He walked slowly over to the table, concentrating, and reached up to place them away from the edge of the table. He had learned that lesson the hard way. At the start of the summer Riza had begun to give him more responsibility around the house. She had asked him to take two glasses of juice – both containing a generous amount of ice to beat the heat – over to the table while she prepared lunch. He had been so eager and proud of himself he had placed one too close to the edge, spilling the ice cold liquid down him. His shriek had almost pierced Riza’s eardrums. It sounded like he was being murdered. Once he was settled Riza couldn’t stop laughing. The _look_ on his face was incredible. It was how she imagined, stereotypically, a cat would look after falling into water. Drenched and horrified.

Throughout dinner, the pair chatted. James was his usual animated self, but he seemed more excitable than usual. She wasn’t sure if it was because tomorrow was his last day of school before Christmas. Or, it could have been because he now knew who his father was. The pair had a _long_ conversation the day after Roy mentioned it to her. Ever since then he seemed lighter, like a weight had been lifted from over him. He was a happy boy in general, but his smile was dazzling now and there had been no more reports of bullying from him or his teacher. She had asked the woman to keep an eye out and surprisingly, she had seemed very concerned for her son. Mrs. Short seemed to be the only decent not-suck-up teacher in that place. It would be a shame when James changed teacher after the summer.

 “Thank you Mum.” James broke through her thoughts. Blinking back to reality, she watched as he hopped down from his chair and hugged her, his arms circling around her waist. She smiled, placing a hand atop his head.

“What for?”

“For everything.” He peered up at her, his green eyes filled with sincerity. “You are the best Mum in the world, you know that right?”

Riza couldn’t stop the grin. She hoisted him up into her lap. “Only because I have the best son in the world.” He giggled when she kissed his cheek.

“Mu-um,” he complained, wiping away the wet patch on his cheek. This only incited her further and she showered his face in kisses. He squealed and wriggled free of her arms. She chuckled as he darted away into the living room.

“I love you,” she called through to him, grinning when he called back to her the same sentiment.

A quiet knock sounded at Riza’s door at eight o’clock. James was in bed, thankfully. He had only fallen asleep about ten minutes ago. Riza hurried to the door, hoping her visitor wouldn’t feel the need to disappear after only waiting thirty seconds, like earlier that night.

She should have checked the peep hole before opening the door. Previous experience dictated that she do that _every_ time there was a knock at the door. But for whatever reason, Riza didn’t. Perhaps she had become too comfortable in her home. So, she didn’t think twice when she opened her front door expectantly.

The sight of her father had her loudly berating herself internally for slipping up.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY

“Mum?” a female voice called as footsteps sounded from the stairs. “Is that Dad home?” she asked, stopping when a stranger came into view. She look confused, her gaze turning to her mother.

“No he isn’t home yet. He text me saying he was stopping at the shop to get dinner for us,” she replied, her voice wobbling after crying outside two minutes ago. Without hesitation she had ushered her son inside the house after they had both recovered from their initial shock. The woman had yet to let go of his hand and Roy wasn’t going to deny her of it. He had searched for too long and his mother had gone through too much. It felt like an anchor to the both of them, tethering them together after so long of being apart.

“Have you been crying?” she asked. She shot the stranger in her home an accusatory glare.

His mother ushered her daughter forward, letting go of Roy’s hand. “Can I speak to you for a minute?” she asked.

“Mum? What’s going on?” she asked fearfully, all her bravado gone.

“It is a good thing, I promise,” she smiled, her eyes watering.

The girl looked between Roy and her mother. This teenager was his sister. She had dark hair like her mother, but it was long. Even in the ponytail that sat high on her head, it fell down to her lower back. It was stick straight too, a trait they had both inherited from their mother. She had her mother’s dark eyes as well, the three people in the house sharing that similar trait. Her clothes were all black, save for a collection of colourful wristbands on her right wrist. There were three in total, each made of multi-coloured thread. Roy wondered what the meant to her, what they symbolised.

The two sat on one of the couches within the room. His mother ushered Roy into a couch to the back of the room. The living room itself was well decorated. There were lots of photo frames around the room. Pictures of his mother, his half-sister, and who he assumed to be his step-father. The three were so happy in every photograph. There was a pang in his chest at the sight. He subtly searched for a photo of himself, unable to find one in the collection, however there was none. But, he was elated that after everything that had happened, his mother had found happiness.

Roy’s mother explained the situation to her daughter. Roy had learned her name was Julia. It hadn’t taken long, she didn’t go into great detail about him, just that he was her son.

“That’s the boy in the photos. The ones in your wardrobe?”

“Yes, I – Wait. How do you know about them?”

Julia’s face turned pink upon being discovered going through her mother’s things. “I heard you crying one night. Dad was talking to you about it, but I couldn’t hear it from my room. Sorry Mum,” she babbled. “I shouldn’t have gone into your things but I wanted to know why you were upset and if I could help.”

Roy’s heart constricted at the revelation. His mother had been upset about him all these years? A small part of him was relieved to discover he hadn’t been forgotten, like he had feared. But why hadn’t she gotten back into contact with him? Why hadn’t she asked Chris about him? And what photos did she have?

Before Roy could enquire, or his mother could tell Julia, the front door opened.

“Hello!” a cheery voice called into the house. Both women looked towards the door. His mother glanced at him with a reassuring, but nervous smile. She wiped her hands on her trousers before she stood and greeted her husband.

Roy watched as he closed the door behind him, his seat offering him the perfect view through to the hallway. As the man entered the warm house he pulled his woollen hat off his head. It revealed a receding hairline with grey streaks through his black hair. It was short but slicked back away from his forehead. The removal of his hat caused the longer hair on top to stick up.

“Good evening Gill,” he greeted with a smile, kissing her on the cheek. That must have been false name. “You still here Julia?” he called through to the living room, shrugging out of his jacket. “I thought you would have been long gone by now,” he chuckled. “Will today be one of those rare occasions that a father sees his daughter?”

“Bill,” Ruth spoke, her tone serious. The man picked up on her tone and turned to look at her. She stood in the doorway of the living room so as Bill looked up, he spotted the slightly nervous stranger standing in the middle of his living room.

The man froze, staring Roy down. Just how much did this man know about him? Had he possibly ruined his mother’s secret past by carelessly coming here without a second thought? Just as he was about to launch into an explanation, the man grinned. He strode into the room, offering his hand. Roy took it, noting the enthusiastic way Bill shook it.

“Roy Mustang?” he asked, his voice full of wonder.

“Yes sir,” Roy confirmed.

Bill laughed before pulling a surprised Roy into his arms for a hug. “It is a pleasure to finally meet you, son.” His grin soothed Roy’s fears. The family had been nothing but welcome. At first, Julia had only been protective of her mother upon seeing her crying, but it had turned to amazement as her mother explained who he was.

“I’ll take these,” Julia offered, holding out her hands to her mother. “You guys can talk.” She retrieved the shopping bags and entered what Roy guessed was the kitchen.

“I can’t believe you are actually here,” Bill stated, the smile never leaving his face. “We were both hoping this day would come.”

“I do apologise for turning up unannounced,” Roy began his apology. “I only found out today and after so long of searching I couldn’t wait.” His mother’s face turned pained.

“Completely understandable son,” Bill reassured him. “I have been telling Gillian that for years she needed to find you, but there had been a mix up and a lost address. We had no idea where you went. Anyway, here I am taking up all your time. I will leave you two to get reacquainted,” he announced. “I am in desperate need of a shower. This smell of diesel won’t shift itself.” Before leaving the room he kissed his wife once more and gave her hand a quick squeeze. “Will you stay for dinner?” he asked.

“If you would have me,” Roy answered. “If it is not too much trouble.”

Bill grinned, head poking around the door. “It would be our pleasure. It is dinner for three tonight Julia,” he called through to his daughter.

“Make that four!” she called back. Apparently whatever plans the girl had had just been altered. Were they all _really_ that happy to meet him?

“I still can’t believe it’s you,” his mother whispered, pressing a hand to his cheek. “I have wanted to see you for so long –” Ruth cut herself off as she swallowed thickly.

Roy took her hand in his. “Why didn’t you?” he asked curiously.

“He… He offered me a lot of money to stay quiet. I was young and scared,” she whispered. Roy noted not once had she mentioned the words “your father”. Anger simmered within him once towards the man. “I kept in touch with Chris. She kept me updated and I cherished every photo she sent me.” Tears were falling now. His mother was shorter than him, so when Roy pulled her into a hug, the top of her head rested at his chin level. Just slightly, he angled his head upwards to rest it atop her head.

“I sent money every month,” she continued. “I might not have been able to care for you, but I never missed a payment.” The two had moved to the couch now. “But enough of that,” she suddenly said, wiping away her tears. “What have _you_ been doing?” She looked upon her son with amazement, as if every time Ruth looked at him, she couldn’t believe Roy was actually real.

So Roy told her about his life and his work. They were still alone when he quietly spoke of his latest case, the one to take down the Mayor. His mother had listened silently, fear creeping into her eyes.

“I don’t like it,” she swallowed, eyes shifting nervously.

“He needs to pay for what he has done. For what he continues to do.”

“Roy listen to me.” Grasping his hands tightly. “You need to let it go. He is… powerful. And cruel. In ways you can’t even imagine.”

That struck a chord within him. “In what way?” His mother’s eyes shifted nervously, not meeting his face. “ _What_ did he do?” It was a growl.

“Nothing,” she shook her head. “But I was one of the lucky ones.” Taking a shaky breath, his mother continued. “If you go after him I won’t stop you. As much as I don’t want you to, I see there is no point in even trying,” she smiled sadly at him. “You have the courage I wish I had when I was your age.”

“I will make this right,” he vowed. “He will pay for what he did to you.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t contact you when you were older,” she stated after a short silence. “I wanted to. God knows I did. Ever since your Aunt took you home with her I wanted to be there. But I was too afraid. I was only twenty. Chris offered me a job but I couldn’t do it. Because if I did, if I watched you grow up I wouldn’t be able to help myself. That would have only endangered you further. Your – Your father didn’t know who you were back then. You were safe and hidden away. The biggest regret of my life,” she added, tears shimmering in her eyes once more. “Was leaving you. And after so many years I was scared you would hate me for doing that to you.”

“I have _never_ hated you,” he swore. “I only wanted to know who you were and that you were safe.” A memory flashed through his head. He was sitting on a park bench with James, discussing the very same thing. He knew exactly what the young man had been going through. It had just been too long for Roy, and he had forgotten how it felt to desperately want to know the identity of his parents.

The reassurances he offered eased his mother’s worries. Quietly, Bill poked his head around the corner of the door to announce dinner was ready when they were.

The evening was very pleasant. Bill regaled him of tales of meeting his mother and the life they had lived. She was happy with this man, which Roy was thankful for. He chatted to his half-sister about school and her life. She was aiming to be a lawyer in Central. She had top marks in all her classes at school. Upon learning Roy was a detective, she found that very cool.

“We obviously inherited our smarts from our mother,” Roy winked at her, causing her to laugh.

“You will hear no argument about that,” Bill chuckled. “She definitely didn’t get it from me.” His mother’s face heated up at the compliment, but she beamed nonetheless.

All throughout the drive back to his apartment, Roy couldn’t stop grinning.

The sound of a phone ringing pierced the quiet parking garage. Roy flinched, still lost in the amazement of the night he had just experienced. He dipped into his pocket after stepping into the elevator, the doors closing as he hit the answer button.

“Mustang.” There was no answer on the other side, just the noise of ruffling. “Hello?” he tried again. Nothing. He shrugged and almost hung up, but a noise caught his attention. Somebody gasped on the other side of the line.

“It is about time you end this nonsense Riza,” a faint voice sounded. “You are to come home at once.”

Roy was thoroughly confused. Then his stomach clenched as he heard someone crying. A little boy.

“Please,” he heard Riza beg. “Just leave us be. We are not going back. Our life is here now.”

“Silence!” The anger Roy heard in his voice spurred him into action. But he was stuck in the lift. There was nowhere for him to go. Adrenaline began to course through him, filling him with energy he needed to spend. _Shit_. Then, there was the tell-tale sign of a gun cocking. _What?_ “You will come home at once. This is not negotiable.”

The lift dinged cheerily, quite the contrast to the thoughts running through his mind. Riza obviously called him and she did it for a reason. The situation certainly sounded dire. He hung up the phone, quickly punching in Havoc’s number.

“Havoc,” he answered casually.

“It’s me. Get to Riza’s apartment _now_ and bring back up.”

“Mustang?”

“ _Do it_ ,” he hissed. He dropped his rucksack silently in the hall and pulled out his weapon. He had left the bag in the trunk of his car after work yesterday evening. It had been a late one as he ensured he was up to date on paperwork before leaving for the Christmas break. Upon exiting the vehicle, he had stored his mother’s file in there and the spare gun he carried in his car. It needed cleaned and Roy thought it was something he could do while going over tonight’s events. It seemed the universe had other plans for its use.

Loading the clip, Roy clicked the safety off. He cocked his head and listened. There was no movement from the other side of the door. There was the sound of conversation with an occasional shout of anger. Faintly, Roy could hear the sound of sirens outside in the distance. Either it was Havoc’s doing or someone else. Only time would tell. He only prayed Havoc would be quick. The apartment door was left on the latch. Slowly, he pushed the door open. The creak it created sounded like a gunshot. Roy cringed.

“Riza?” he called out as casually as he could. All conversation ceased. From the way the intruder was talking, this was obviously someone who knew Riza. A family member at least. She had let them in the apartment and had expected some kind of argument. That’s why the door hadn’t been closed properly. So help could get in if they needed to.

A whimper came from the living room. Someone shushed them violently.

“Hey, James? You guys home? I’m back.” He crept down the hallway, gun in front of him. As he approached the last door he lifted it and trained it in front of him.

The scene before him made his stomach sink. An older man stood in front of his neighbours. His shoulder length blonde hair and long beard were unkempt, same with his clothes. They looked like they had been expensive once. They hadn’t been washed or ironed in a while. The smell of alcohol hit Roy from the door. Bloodshot eyes stared back at him, his rage clear. His face was twisted in anger as Roy walked into the room.

“Who is this?” the man hissed. The anger in his voice sent a shiver down Roy’s spine.

“Sir, I need you to put the gun down,” Roy told him calmly, switching to detective mode. The man began to turn around to face Riza. Roy studied them both, assessing if any harm had come to them. Satisfied after finding nothing immediate, he looked them each in the eye while the man’s back was to him. James’ eyes were wide with terror, tears falling silently down his face. He looked hopeful as he stared at Roy. The detective raised a finger to his lips, indicating he should be as quiet as he could. The boy’s mouth closed and he stood up taller, trying to be brave. Roy’s gaze moved to Riza and paused as he she saw the pure terror in them. She too looked hopeful while her eyes begged him to resolve this.

As the man turned, she pushed her son behind her. James protested, struggling to stay so he could see Roy. The young boy’s eyes never left his face.

“Tell me!” he raged.

“Sir,” Roy stated once more, trying to get his attention away from the civilians. “I need you to put the gun down.” The rage changed to a crazed look.

“Have you done it _again_?”

“No,” she whispered in reply. “Dad, please.”

So this was her father? This was bad. _Really_ bad.

“Don’t lie to me!” he shouted. The gun dropped from being trained on Roy and shifted towards his daughter.

“Hey!” Roy shouted, anger at the whole situation springing to the forefront of his mind. From the very little Roy had gathered, this man was bad news. He had done nothing but make Riza miserable her whole life. Roy knew the feeling. But how dare he come in here and wave a gun around in front of his grandson. “Eyes on me. I have asked you to do something. If you do not comply, I will shoot.”

“And why should I listen to _you_?”

“I am a police officer with Central PD,” he explained, inching forward while the man wasn’t paying attention. There were still around ten paces between them. “I will show you my badge. It is in my jacket pocket. I am reaching for it now.” Roy did as he stated, slowly reaching in his pocket. Riza’s father’s grip on the gun tightened, his finger already on the trigger. He had been in his fair share of stand offs in his career. One could never know how it would turn out, but something told him this wouldn’t have a happy ending. There were a number of factors to consider, such as the man’s intoxication and anger. It made his actions slow, but unpredictable. The least Roy could do was minimise the damage.

Roy flashed his badge. “Sir, I will ask you one more time. Put the gun down. Don’t do this to your family.”

“You called the _police_?” he exploded, rounding on Riza once more.

Several things happened at once. The man raised the arm with his gun back up towards Roy. He fired, but Roy was quicker. He returned the shot, watching as the bullet hit the man in his shoulder, disarming him. He screamed in pain the fell to the floor. Someone else screamed at the same time. A force knocked his left shoulder, jerking him backwards towards the wall. Pain exploded in his shoulder, causing him to cry out. He squeezed his eyes shut against it, his body tensing up. It hit the wall with a loud _thump_ , more pain blossoming over his spine. Roy barely registered it. He gasped in pain as wave and wave of it crashed down his arm and across his chest. Gritting his teeth he brought a hand up to his shoulder protectively. His hand was instantly wet with blood.

“Roy!” Riza shouted. The sound tore at his chest. The fear in it matched the expression on her face. When he opened his eyes Riza was before him. Her hand’s fluttered in front of him, wanting to help but not wanting to hurt him. James still clung to her, sobbing loudly. The young boy looked up at him, his expression one of horror.

“Get into the hall,” he ordered, his voice a rasp. Instead, Riza grabbed onto the back of his shirt, gently pulling him with them. She ushered James outside the room in a rush, leaving the boy sobbing even louder.  He tried to shake her off but it was a feeble attempt. His body swayed at the movement, causing him to lose his balance. But, she was there to steady him. “Riza, _go_ ,” he urged. “Go and get Havoc,” he coughed as he braced himself for another wave of pain. Stars danced in his vision, the edges greying. But Riza shook her head in response. She began to speak, but Roy wasn’t sure if it was to him or to James. He only had eyes for his shooter.

“I won’t leave you,” reached him but it sounded like it was from a distance. Again, Roy wasn’t sure if Riza said them to him or her son.

Her father began to stand, curses flying from his mouth. His eyes found Roy’s. The look of cold fury put a pit of dread in his stomach. The man staggered to his feet, gun raised once more in the other hand. Roy shifted, putting himself between Riza and her father.

“You bitch!” he screamed. “ _You_ did this!”

With perfect timing Havoc burst through the door along with three other police officers. “On the ground,” he commanded. “Now!”

Like a trapped animal, Riza’s father growled. He shifted the gun, poised to fire at Roy once more. He braced himself for the blow on instinct, pushing Riza backwards and out of the room as hard as he could. But Havoc was quicker. Riza’s father was disarmed, the bullet entering the same arm as the other. The man screamed in pain before crashing to the floor.

Riza gasped from behind him. The officers swarmed him, guns trained on the assailant’s prone form. Roy let out his breath, his back coming to rest against the living room wall. He was still running high on adrenaline. In a couple of minutes, he was going to feel like shit. _Great,_ he thought. Before he could register it, Roy began to slide down the wall to the floor, the pain making itself more and more aware. His shoulder was on fire, making it very hard to concentrate on anything else.

But it was over.

“Roy?” Riza asked worriedly as he began to fall. She knelt beside him, her hands grasping his forearm tightly.

He nodded. “Get Havoc,” he replied through gritted teeth.

She called his partner over. Roy’s eyes were closed by this point, trying anything to block out the pain, but it wasn’t working. He heard footfalls walking towards him.

“Shit,” Havoc muttered. He spoke into his phone, ordering whoever was on the receiving end to send two ambulances to their address. “Officer down,” Havoc relayed, his jaw clenching as he nodded then ended the call. “Roy, you okay man?”

“Fucking excellent,” he replied sarcastically.

“Great. Get up then and stop bleeding all over the carpet.”

His eyes popped open at that remark. Havoc was staring at him with an amused, but worried, smirk. Roy chuckled, but the movement shifted his left arm, shooting pain into his shoulder. He groaned. “I’ll get right on that.” He shifted against the wall so he was in a more comfortable position. “I think it’s still in there.” His tone had shifted to serious as he referred to the bullet.

Havoc’s smirk dropped. He nodded. “Don’t worry ambulance is on its way. We will take him out first.” He looked towards Riza, who was currently to Roy’s right. She was too far round for him to see her face. Turning his head was too much effort right now. Riza moved out the way of the door, pulling James with her.

“It’s okay baby,” she repeatedly whispered. “It’s over.”

Riza looked to Roy, their eyes meeting. He surveyed her, looking for any injuries. One cheek was redder than the other, which caused anger to spike in him. Had her father slapped her?

“You okay?” he asked, panting. The pain was intensifying as the minutes dragged on. A groan left his throat involuntarily. He would need to try everything to stay awake until the ambulance came. Riza’s grip moved down to his good hand and tightened.

Riza nodded. She clutched James’ head to her shoulder, shielding him from the sight of his grandfather being wheeled out of the room on a stretcher by the paramedics. Roy sighed in relief, resting is head back against the wall. As long as they were both fine, that was all that mattered.

Faintly, he remembered how her grip never moved from his hand.

“Roy?” she called to him, an edge to her voice. He opened his eye blearily. It was becoming more and more difficult to stay awake. He knew he should. Everything was screaming at him to stay conscious. So he focussed on Riza.

“Keep talking to him,” someone ordered. He looked to his left, finding somebody unknown moving beside him. Then, he realised he was moving. He was on a stretcher. They were suddenly outside. Stars littered the cloudless sky above him.

He groaned in pain as the stretcher bumped over something. Riza had continued to talk, but he couldn’t make sense of it. The pain was drawing too much of his focus away. A hand still grasped his right one and squeezed tightly.

Faintly, the sound of sirens sounded from all around him. The pressure on his hand remained, and then it was gone. Dark shapes moved above him, blocking the lights from the ceiling. In the distance he heard a worried voice ask if he was going to be okay. He wanted to respond, to tell them he would be. But he could barely open his eyes. Instead, he felt himself drifting off as something plastic was placed over his mouth and nose.

* * *

James sat silently beside his mother, occasionally twitching. She removed her hand from his and put an arm around his shoulders. In an instant, he pressed himself against her side. Hands fisted in her t-shirt, clinging to her.

“Are you okay James?” she asked quietly. The room was silent and empty. The hour was late, past midnight. James should be asleep, but he was wired. Riza could tell by his wide eyes and skittish behaviour at any sudden noise. So she had spoken softly, not wanting to scare him.

He looked up at her, eyes earnest. “Will Roy be okay?”

Riza didn’t know. Both he and her father were in surgery right now. They were still waiting to hear anything back from anyone. Jean had come and gone with two police officers. They had planned to take a statement from them both individually, but James was having none of it. He cried loudly when Jean tried to pry him away. That had been two hours ago. The blonde detective had promised he would return soon, but they were still waiting.

“Miss Hawkeye?” a nurse asked, stepping into the room. She looked towards the woman. The nurse’s expression was friendly, and not one of regret or sadness, which eased her fears immediately. She wasn’t prepared to deal with a death after all of this. Even her father’s. “Your father is out of surgery and awake. Would you like to see him?”

 _No!_ her mind screamed. Riza nodded. “Yes.” But she wouldn’t subject James to that. She turned to her son. “James, I need to go and see Granddad. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” The boy shook his head vigorously, his eyes wide with fear. “Okay, that’s fine.”

“Don’t go,” he gasped.

Riza shushed him gently. “It is going to be okay. I need to wait for my friend to come back first,” she explained to the nurse.

The nurse nodded, but then Jean popped his head around the door frame. “I’m back,” he announced, a kind smile on his face. “Come on James, let’s go for a walk.” The boy shook his head, his grip tightening on Riza. His uncle stepped into the room, holding out his hand. “I’ve got something really cool to show you,” he offered. The boy stared at his hand, then up at his face. Apparently the pull of mystery was too much for him, and hesitantly James reached out and grasped it. “We can stop for some sweets too,” he whispered loudly, giving the boy a wink. The corner of James’ lips quirked upwards briefly, but disappeared quickly.

Riza took a deep breath and nodded to the nurse, indicating she was ready.

Her father looked like a different person in the hospital bed. Gone was the anger. In its place, it left a very small and fragile looking old man. He had not aged well. Grief, pain, and hate towards the general world had taken its toll on him. He looked about twenty years older than he should have been. His good arm was currently handcuffed to the bedside and two police officers stood outside his door.

Upon realising she had entered, Berthold’s gaze moved to hers. He looked almost regretful. Riza felt a pain in her chest. She couldn’t keep doing this back and forth. Whenever an incident had happened in the past, afterwards he would blame it on the drink and beg for her forgiveness. And, like a fool, she had given it. Then, she would wait a couple of months just to go through it all over again.

Not this time.

“Why?” was all she asked. She swallowed the lump in her throat.

Berthold sighed. “You know why,” he stated, looking down on her. “It was bad enough you left in the first place, but you are not living in that apartment any longer. You are coming home.”

“Bad enough I left?” Riza echoed. She glared at him. Her hands formed fists by her side and she had to resist the urge to walk over there and punch him. “ _You_ told me to leave. _You_ banished me from setting foot in that house again.”

“For good reason. But that is in the past,” he replied. Riza’s anger spiked once more as she recognised that tone. He was talking down to her. The regretful look was gone. His expression was patronising. The urge to punch him in the face soared.

“I can’t believe this,” she muttered. A laugh filled with disbelief escaped her. “You honestly think you are not at fault here?”

“I am your father and I am in charge. Once I get out of here, we are returning to East City and you will remain there. I have a husband lined up for you –”

“Are you even listening to yourself?” she raged, striding up to his bedside. “Get out of here? You _shot_ my neighbour. You threatened myself and your grandson with a gun. The only place you are going is prison!”

“I beg your pardon?”

The worst part was, he looked genuinely confused. Riza realised he truly thought that what he had been doing all these years was okay. That showing up at her apartment unannounced only to degrade her, yell abuse at her, and subject his grandson to it all, was okay. He had gotten worse since the last time.

“We are done.” Her voice was emotionless, but firm. “Enjoy the rest of your days rotting in a cell.”

Without another word, Riza turned on her heel and walked out of the room. Berthold called her back, anger entering his voice as the volume rose. The officers outside the room tightened their grip on their weapons.

“Is everything okay ma’am?” one of the officers asked uncertainly.

“No,” she told him, meeting his eyes. Then, she turned her back on them and on her father. Riza walked away from the bastard once and for all.

It wasn’t long until she finally broke down. She re-entered the now empty waiting room she had sat in with her son not too long ago. All she wanted to do was hug him tightly and feel safe again. She wanted someone to hug _her_ and tell her Roy would be okay. Before approaching the nearest chair, Riza closed the door behind her, letting her anger pour into the movement. It slammed loudly. She sat, bringing her knees up to her chest. Clinging on to her legs tightly, she let everything out.

Fear had held her prisoner for too long. When Berthold had entered the apartment, Riza sighed and accepted another argument. She had left the door on the latch because a few months ago she had asked Mrs. Henderson across the hall to phone the police if her father got to violent. If Riza had threatened to do it, or phoned them in front of her father, he would have become more aggressive.

Riza had returned to the living room, her father in tow. Having heard the knock, James had tiredly exited his room as curiosity got the better of him. That was when Berthold pulled out the gun. True fear and panic rose within her then. She only had eyes for her son then, who looked confused initially, but then begged his grandfather to stop what he was doing. Bile rose in Riza’s throat as she remembered her father dropping the gun to her son, telling him to be quiet. It took a lot for Riza Hawkeye to hate somebody, but that was it.

While Berthold had moved over to the window the close the curtains, Riza dialled Roy’s number as subtly as she could. He was a detective. He would figure out what was happening from their conversation and bring back up. She was sure of it. She trusted he would.

When that first shot had gone off it felt like the bullet had entered her own body. Fear pulsed through her being as she watched Roy’s body jerk backwards. She think she screamed. She wasn’t sure. James certainly did. Her vision had tunnelled to Roy, and Roy only, but James’ reaction pulled her back. She needed to protect her son. Wrapping an arm around him, she hauled the young boy over to Roy’s side with her. She called his name again, desperate to help but not knowing how to.

When he told her to get into the hallway, she refused. This was her mess that she had dragged Roy into and now he was facing the consequences of it instead of her. He was innocent in all of this and now he was lying bleeding on her living room floor. A new emotion, guilt, began to eat at her.

Riza had ushered James into the hall to get him out of harm’s way. He had fought it of course, but Riza persisted.

“I need you to be big and brave,” she told him as tears ran down her face. “Go tell Mrs. Henderson. She will phone the police and get help.” The look on James’ face was one she would never forget. The pure terror held within his eyes would haunt her for the rest of her life.

When Jean had entered Riza had never felt relief like it. Three police officers had entered behind him, a fourth towing James along. Her son ran back to her side and she hugged him tightly.

In the moment, Riza hadn’t missed the way Roy had put himself between them and her father, or the way he had pushed her backwards and out of the room as he prepared to shoot. Looking back now, she realised how truly lucky she was to have someone like that in her life. Someone who _cared_. Rebecca and Jean did, they were like family. Riza would do the same for them in a heartbeat. But, to have someone unattached to her care so much? To have _Roy_ grow to care about her so much?

The ride to the hospital had been hell. Riza had tried to hold his hand the whole way, but the paramedics gently, but firmly, pushed her aside. So she was left to stare at Roy as they stabilised him. James had buried his face in her shirt, so she was glad he didn’t have to watch what was happening. They tore open his shirt and attached small electrodes to his chest, hooking Roy up to the heart rate monitor. It beeped loudly, every sound piercing her brain as it told her that this man was suffering because of her.

When he fell unconscious her ability to breathe halted all together because the machine let out one solid beep. The paramedics moved fast, barking orders at one another to get Roy’s heart beating again. Pure fear consumed her and Riza felt herself panicking. James noticed and continually asked his mother what was wrong while becoming more and more upset himself. But Riza couldn’t answer. This couldn’t be the end. It _couldn’t._ To the paramedic’s credit, they talked them both through the process. Their voices were calm as they worked and explained what they were doing so that the child and woman riding with them wouldn’t become hysterical.

All the walking on eggshells they had done for the last month seemed pointless now. Nothing had happened between them but why did Riza feel like she had been shot as well? Pain ripped through her chest, dread settled in her stomach, and fear caused her skin to prickle at the thought that Roy might not survive this. He was in surgery getting a _fucking bullet_ removed from his body. All because of _her_ father.

What was the point in all their suffering if it could snatched away just like that?

But now it might be too late. Riza had been listening as the paramedics disappeared with Roy into the hospital. She heard what they were talking about. It didn’t look good for him. It had been a fight to stabilise Roy. The bullet was too close to his heart for their liking. It had nicked an important artery. The words had filled her with such a despair that the arm Jean had put around her back was keeping her upright.

“Please be okay Roy,” she whispered to herself. “Please.” _I don’t want to lose you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have genuinely had the last part of this chapter written since about may and have been DYING to put it out  
> so sorry but i'm also really not   
> and never fear, the aftermath will continue...


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short chapter this time round but just as SPICY  
> i also want to say a big massive THANK YOU to everyone who has read, commented, and kudos this work it means the world to me <3 i don't think i will ever be able to put into words just how happy y'all responses to this have made me  
> thank you

“You have to be very quiet, okay?” Roy heard Havoc whisper. “We need to wait for him to wake up before we can visit properly. Fortunately for us, your Uncle Jean still has a few tricks up his sleeve.”

Opening his eyes, Roy was met with the sight of a hospital room. A window lay ahead of him, behind which stood Havoc and a worried looking James. Roy smirked at them both and the young boy’s face lit up.

“Can we go in?” he asked, looking up at his unofficial uncle pleadingly. Havoc nodded.

“You still have to be quiet though. Okay?”

James nodded and proceeded to creep into the room. It was comical and Roy chuckled at the young man. As his chest contracted to perform the movement, pain flared in his left side. Roy winced, hissing in pain. James froze. He began to look increasingly upset, as if he was to blame for Roy’s pain. He looked to Havoc, worried.

“It’s okay James,” Roy reassured him. “I’m all right.”

The young boy looked incredibly relieved. He even smiled. “That’s good,” he replied quietly. “I was really worried for a while. So was Mum.”

Roy’s eyebrows quirked upwards in surprise. “You were?”

James nodded earnestly. “Yeah. I thought you were gonna…” He trailed off, not wanting to finish his sentence.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Roy shifted in his bed to get comfortable. Havoc approached him, offering his assistance. Roy thanked his partner while the man pulled up a visitor’s chair beside the bed. “Where is your Mum now?” he asked James. He had been disappointed to see she wasn’t among his visitors. But if James was here, she was surely nearby? He needed to see her.

James was silent, eyes cast down to the floor. Havoc coughed and answered for him. “She is visiting her father.” Roy’s fists clenched of their own accord. _What?_ The man had tried to kill her and she was visiting him in hospital? “Easy,” Havoc told him. “It was her decision. I made sure security was tight. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t have let her go there if there was any kind of risk.”

Havoc was right. The woman was family to him. He would ensure her safety above all else. Especially when it came to her father. Roy finally understood why now.

“Is she okay?” Roy asked his partner quietly. Not having Riza by his side was eating at him. The last time he saw her, her father had tried to shoot her. He just needed to see with his own eyes that she was alive and well.

“Yeah. A bit shaken up, but that’s understandable. Very worried about you, you know.”

“Uncle Jean?” asked James quietly, interrupting them both.

“Yeah bud?”

“Is my Grandad going to die?” The two adults looked at each other helplessly. “Because,” he began, his voice wobbling. “Someone’s dad at school got shot and he died.” His eyes lifted to look at them both. Roy felt his stomach clench at the sight of his sad eyes. “That’s why I thought you might. And he hasn’t been very nice to us for a while, especially not to Mum, and I want him to leave us alone but I don’t want him to die.”

“I…” Havoc began but stopped, unsure how to continue and best comfort the boy.

“James, listen, it’s okay to feel that way,” Roy reassured him taking over the explanation at Havoc’s helpless look. “Sometimes family members do bad things and we don’t want to see them anymore.” Roy could feel Havoc’s eyes on him. “But it is okay to not want them to die.”

“Okay,” he sniffled. Havoc wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “You’re not allowed to die either, okay?”

Roy smiled and nodded. “Okay. Just for you, I won’t.”

“Not just me,” James demanded. “But for Mum too.”

Roy raised his eyebrows in surprise, but agreed.

Speaking of the devil, a nurse knocked on the open door. Her face was slightly disapproving of the visitors already present, but she didn’t comment on it. “Ready for another visitor?” Riza peeked out from behind her, her face a picture of worry. Roy nodded and the nurse bustled off.

“Come on James, I’m starving. Let’s get some food and come back in a bit,” Havoc stated, ushering the boy out the room with him. They got as far as the door before he latched onto his mother. She finally tore her gaze away from Roy’s and looked down at her son who was currently hugging her leg. Riza lifted him without a word, burying her face in his hair.

“He’s going to be okay Mum,” James whispered to her. “Just like you told me.”

“I know, honey.”

“Mum knows best,” Havoc quipped with a soft smile. “Come on bud. Let’s go and get some sweets,” he grinned. Roy wasn’t sure who would be more excited about that prospect, James or Havoc. The man’s sweet tooth was a force to be reckoned with.

James nodded and kissed his mother on the cheek before wriggling to get down from her arms. The two left Roy and Riza alone, the door clicking shut behind them.

Riza turned to face the man who had taken a bullet for her. He watched her in turn, his eyes following her every move. She strode to the chair Havoc had just vacated. Her movements were jerky, as if she was trying to hold herself together. One hand suddenly grabbed his, the other gripping his forearm tightly. She stared at her hands, her breathing becoming heavier as she tried to hold herself together. It was as if she was trying to assess if he truly was both before her and alive.

“You’re okay,” she breathed.

“I’m all right,” he reassured her. He wanted to lift his arm to brush the hair out of her face, but one had a bullet wound in it and the other was anchored to the bed by the woman beside him. Instead, he opted for squeezing her fingers to offer his comfort.

Tears fell down her face as her gaze met his. “Please don’t do that to me again,” she whispered.

“Riza…” he answered her, his voice remorseful.

“I can’t bear the thought of it,” she continued, her tears falling faster. Dread filled his stomach, pressing him down into the bed.

“What?” he asked slowly.

“The thought of you… getting hurt because of my mess. You got _shot_ because of me.”

“I did it to protect you and James. That is literally my job as an officer. To protect civilians.”

“But you weren’t working. You were at home. And it still happened because of me and _my_ mess,” she stressed. “It –” she sobbed, bringing a hand to her mouth to stifle it.

Roy shushed her gently, reassuring her he was fine. He retracted his hand and moved it to a more comfortable position, one where he could grip her hand as tightly as she did to his. After a while Riza finally settled. “It is too much,” she finally admitted, her voice incredibly quiet. Roy had to strain to hear her, but his stomach dropped at her words. Panic set in, as observed by the increasing heart rate on the monitor to his left. If this conversation was going the way he thought it was it might just kill him.

“What is?” Voice hoarse, he asked the question he dreaded to hear the answer to.

Riza’s eyes were bright with tears as she met his gaze once more.

“Nothing.” Her reply was too quick, giving him the impression there was so much more that needed to be said. And there was.

“Riza.” His command was soft but it told her that whatever was on her mind, she could tell him. “What is?” His thumb had begun to stroke the back of her hand absentmindedly.

She was scared to reveal her thoughts. He realised that as the nurse re-entered the room to check his vitals. He could tell by the way her grip tightened on his hand. Her head dipped forward, fringe falling over her face to shield it from him.

The nurse offered them a grin and a hello, but went about her business. The pair fell silent, Riza removing her hands from his. The action disappointed him more than it should have. The conversation was over for now but he desperately wanted to get to the bottom of it.

While the nurse was still present Havoc and James returned. Roy’s eyes were beginning to droop from the combination of blood loss and exhaustion. The pain in his shoulder was making itself known more and more by the minute. By the time the nurse had explained his condition and their aftercare he was in agony.

“Why don’t we let the patient rest for now?” she asked but it wasn’t a request. Roy caught her sidelong glance at him, noticing his pained expression. She walked over to his IV and injected something in it. Judging by the way his head nodded forward once more, it was morphine. “He will be in a lot of pain for a while. The best course of action is to let Mr. Mustang sleep.”

If Roy had been awake enough he would have noticed Riza’s stricken expression. He grabbed blindly for her hand, already feeling himself drifting.

“We will be back soon. Okay?” she reassured, but it sounded a million miles away.

His head fell back as he muttered a goodbye which left a silence in its wake. Unable to dwell on it any longer Roy simply embraced the darkness that took him away from this agony in his shoulder and his heart.

* * *

 

Silence reigned over the small room. Jean and James were outside, the former speaking to the nurse quietly. There was no way they had heard what Roy had said to her. Even Riza couldn’t quite comprehend it. The words floated around her mind as she blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of them.

“ _Love you_ ,” he had mumbled as his head slumped backwards onto the pillow. The grip on her hand slackened and breathing evened out. Soon, aside from the beeping from the hospital machinery, Roy’s light snoring was the only sound in the room.

But to Riza, the only sound was the blood thundering in her ears.

Love… _Love_?

Her brain continued to stutter as it tried to comprehend it. The words were spoken with such a familiarity that it unnerved her. Like a husband would say to a wife in passing. It was not something a friend said to another.

The man before her had given no indication of these feelings before. They were close as friends. Riza knew he cared about her, perhaps more so than just a friend would. She knew she did.

Since their first meeting they had clicked. Right away their banter was easy and Riza had warmed to him quickly. As previously stated to Roy, trust didn’t come easy to her. That’s why it had been so startling when Riza found herself trusting him after only a couple of months. She just hadn’t wanted to admit it because it scared her.

And now… Did this really count as a declaration of love? He was so hopped up on painkillers that Roy could say anything. Had he meant it? Or was it the pain talking?

“Riza?” Jean asked, poking his head through the door once more. “You okay?”

She nodded, casting one last glance towards the sleeping man. She gazed at his face, taking in the features of the man she loved. God she loved him so much it physically hurt to see him in this state.

There. She had admitted it.

It sent a flush up her neck and into her cheeks but no one noticed. Jean was back outside lifting a tired James into his arms. The boy lay his head on the blonde’s shoulder, his eyes closed.

Guilt ate away at her. Both for the events that had transpired and her thoughts. First of all, it was _her_ father that had caused this. All because of her. If she had just sorted this out _years_ ago, Roy would never have been hurt. But, perhaps if she did, her life would be very, very different. And possibly infinitely more miserable. Second, guilt ate at her for her selfishness. After finally admitting her feelings, it felt like it might kill her to stay away from Roy now. Especially after what had happened. But what about her son? She couldn’t put herself at risk because if something did happen to her, he would be left all alone. And if something happened to James, it would definitely kill Riza.

For so long he had been the only thing keeping her going. After his birth she had been in a dark place. Her life hadn’t been easy after her mother passed. Upon getting together with James’ father, it felt like the sun had come back into her life, warming her cold heart. Then that all went to shit and it took Riza years to return to the world. In such a short time, her life had been fraught with struggles. The day James had returned home from his first day at nursery, three years old, asking about his father was Riza’s breaking point. Everyone else there had a Dad. Why didn’t he? Jean had swiftly removed the boy from the room while Rebecca consoled her friend. After that day, there were no more tears over Matt.

Jean led the way back to a waiting room. Riza followed aimlessly, lost in thought. “The nurses said we could sleep in here for a while,” he explained, voice low as to not wake the dozing boy. “I might have pulled a few strings,” he smiled tiredly.

Riza thanked him, truly grateful for this man in her life. He seemed to understand exactly what she needed without Riza voicing it. No doubt a trait he had picked up from his girlfriend.

“Here,” she offered, holding her arms out for James. “Let me take him.”

“It’s all right. I don’t mind –”

“Jean. Please,” she whispered. She needed to hold her son. Images of her father pointing a gun at the boy plagued her constantly. She needed him close, to reassure herself that he was breathing and he was all right. Couple that with the crystal clear vision of Roy being shot, it was like some horror torture in her mind.

Jean opted for the couch by the door. It was much too small for his lanky frame. Knees were hooked over the arm rest while his head lay on a cushion against the other side. Clasping both hands on his stomach, his eyes closed quickly. Considering it was almost two in the morning, Riza wasn’t surprised.

As she cuddled into James, sleep didn’t come as easily as she had hoped.

Roy was alive. James was alive. She repeated those words over and over in her head. Eyes squeezed tightly closed as those images continued to plague her. Nails dug into her palm as she resisted the panic that threatened to overwhelm her in the now darkened room.

Visiting a less morbid topic, Riza returned her musings to Roy’s words. Tonight’s events just showed her that life was too short to deny each other their feelings. However, until everything was sorted with Roy’s father, they could do nothing. The fact that she would not endanger James remained. They were both adamant in that fact, which Riza was glad about. If Roy didn’t care then he would be out on his ass so fast it would catch fire.

But they could still discuss it with one another.

Sleep must not have eluded her for too long because when Riza awoke dawn was beginning to break. However, the feeling of nobody next to her shot her up into a sitting position.

“James?” she asked into the slowly brightening room. Jean continued to snore in the couch. One hand had drooped and hung over the side, just an inch or so off the floor. Groggy, Riza shot out of her seat. She called his name once more, panic lacing her tone.

A nurse poked his head around the corner from the nurse’s station. “He is in Mr. Mustang’s room,” he reassured her with a soft smile.

Thanking the man quickly, Riza strode to the room in question. Sure enough, there he was. Perched upon the armchair next to Roy’s bed, he looked curiously upon Roy’s sleeping form. A small frown graced James’ features. Relief caused Riza to sag on the spot. Gripping the door handle, she opened the door softly.

James greeted his mother with a smile before returning his gaze to Roy.

“You are up early,” Riza commented, placing a hand on her son’s head. He leaned into her side as one hand wrapped around Riza, grabbing a fistful of her t-shirt.

“I couldn’t fall back asleep,” he whispered.

“I know buddy,” Riza sighed. She lifted him up and automatically James wrapped his legs around her waist. Sitting in the armchair, the pair glanced over as Roy stirred in his sleep. “Why didn’t you wake me up?” she asked her son quietly.

James shrugged. “I didn’t want to. You were really worried earlier.” He rose upwards in his chair, peering once more at Roy’s bandages. “Where did the bullet go?” James asked quietly.

Riza swallowed. “Sometimes it goes right through someone’s body. Other times it stays inside.”

“Is that what happened to Roy?”

“Yes.” Forcing the image of his body jerking with the force of the bullet out of her mind once more, Riza continued. “It hit a bone in his shoulder which stopped it.”

“That sounds scary,” he whispered fearfully.

“It is very scary,” Riza agreed. It scared her to death the thought of him dying.

“Why did Granddad do it?” James asked as tears began to fall. His breathing hitched as sobs consumed him. Riza wondered when this would happen. James had been quiet for too long all night. It was only a matter of time.

“I don’t know sweetie,” Riza replied truthfully, her own tears forming. “He was angry at me and wanted to hurt me.”

“What did you do to make him angry?” His innocent question pounded into her chest.

 _All your fault_.

“A long time ago he told me to leave home. And I did. I –” Swallowing down that pressure in her throat didn’t help distil her sobs. They wracked her body silently. This was not a conversation she wanted to have with her son at this age. He shouldn’t have been subject to _any_ of this. “I don’t think he expected me to have the courage to leave. But it was the best thing for us both to do.”

 _All your fault_.

“Both?” he peered into her tear stained face, which only upset him more.

Riza nodded. “I left to keep you safe. Aunt Becca and Uncle Jean helped me with that.”

James peered back over at the bed. “Just like Roy kept us safe from Granddad.”

She smiled. “Just like that.”

“He told me he would keep us safe if Granddad was being scary. I am glad he did. I am glad he moved in next door.”

“Me too, honey.” Riza wiped her face and offered him a smile.

“Don’t cry Mum,” James begged. He wiped her face with his sleeve, his own tear stained face furrowed in concentration. “I don’t like it when you cry.”

“You are crying too,” Riza replied, amusement clouding her voice. Returning the favour, Riza gave his face the same treatment. James giggled when she pinched his nose. “It is okay to cry James. Especially at times like this.”

“I like Roy a lot,” James changed the subject after nodding in agreement.

“So do I,” Riza replied carefully. Kids were like sponges. Anything Riza said could be repeated back to anyone. Not that she particularly wanted to hide her feelings, but they both had to be careful.

“Do you think he would want to be my Dad?”

Riza coughed, choking on her own saliva. “Uh... I don’t know buddy.”

“Why not?” He looked genuinely upset. “I really like him and he acts like the other Dads do at school.”

“How so?” Curiosity got the best of her.

“He plays games with me and looks after me when you are working. He is really nice to me and he really likes you. He told me.” A grin overtook his face.

“What did he tell you?”

“He said he really likes you too. I said you were the best and he agreed. Plus when he was asleep he said your name.” Like a sponge.

Riza was completely unsure how to process this information. To say her thoughts were a jumble would be an understatement. So much had happened and had come to light in the past twelve hours that her brain was still trying to catch up.

_“Love you,” he had mumbled as his head slumped backwards onto the pillow._

“Does he now?”

James nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah! He said it like two or three times. It made me laugh because you weren’t even there.” Demonstrating said laugh, James giggled to himself at the memory. “I didn’t know people actually talked in their sleep,” he whispered, amazed.

What the hell does one say to that? Not to get her wrong, Riza was quietly thrilled to hear that she occupied Roy’s thoughts while he was asleep.

A knock on the door startled her. Jean met her gaze with a tired, but knowing smirk. He raised one eyebrow, gaze flicking towards the patient. Helplessly, Riza simply shrugged her shoulders. She wouldn’t deny it to Jean. He had probably overheard James talking. There wasn’t exactly a lot going on in the ward to drown out his voice.

“Rebecca is on her way to take you both to our house,” Jean announced quietly. Everything screamed at her not to leave Roy in this bed alone, but James couldn’t stay here. Neither could Riza. The nurse had informed them it would be five or six days he would be kept in for treatment. They needed to ensure the wound wouldn’t become infected. That would take them up to Christmas day. The thought of him being stuck in here at Christmas made her frown.

She didn’t want to go home either. The thought of returning to that scene made her feel nauseous. Thankfully, Jean had the forethought to plan that because Riza sure hadn’t. She hadn’t planned further forward than waiting until Roy woke up.

The time to leave came all too soon and the trio were whisked out of the room. Roy still hadn’t woken up, but the reassuring beep of the machines around him told her he was alive.

As soon as Rebecca saw her, she pulled Riza into a hug. No words were exchanged but no doubt by the stricken look on Riza’s face, Rebecca knew exactly what she needed.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh oh OH this chapter and the next have very quickly become my faves for multiple reasons  
> i was going to wait until monday to post this but i literally cannot WAIT to begin this series of events in the fic  
> i hope y'all enjoy... ;)

“You are free to go Mr. Mustang,” the doctor announced cheerily. “Everything is looking good on our end. You will require physical therapy to recover from the wound, but I am sure you already know that.”

“I do, yes.” Roy was already very well acquainted with the process of recovering from an injury like this. The doctor nodded and signed his discharge papers.

“I like you enough that I will tell you I hope I never see you in here again,” the man remarked, popping his pen back in his coat’s breast pocket. “Both of you,” he added, casting his gaze over to Havoc. The pair had each received their fair share of bullet wounds through their work. Doctor Johnson patched them up every time. “But knowing your streak with the force, I doubt that will happen.” Well, he had a point. “I will leave you here in the more than capable hands of Nurse Jones. If you will excuse me gentleman, I have other patients to see this morning.”

“Thanks doc.”

Johnson smiled and then he was on his way.

“I still can’t believe this happened,” Roy shook his head. “I mean, you said things between Riza and her Dad were bad. But _this_?” Roy admitted once Johnson had taken his leave.

“Fucking father of the year right there. It makes your dad look like a saint.”

Roy snorted.

With his right hand he signed the discharge papers. His left arm was currently in a black sling and strapped against his chest. Pain was almost constant in his shoulder. The painkillers did enough to dull it but five days later it was still a pain in his ass. There was a brief moment of panic that he wouldn’t be home in time for Christmas, but he made it with time to spare. It was Christmas Eve and he was hopped up on pain meds and only wanted to sleep. It would be an interesting Christmas morning to say the least.

“That’s what concerns me. I thought I had it bad.” Havoc lifted the duffel bag that had been delivered to Roy four days ago. It appeared James had a hand in packing said bag, because there was a hand drawn card from him with a note inside wishing him to get better soon. It had stood proudly on the table that was by his bedside. Every time he saw it Roy smiled. Havoc had informed Roy that the two had been staying with him and Catalina. That had been their plan over Christmas anyway so saw no reason to change it. The two detectives suspected that Riza wouldn’t even want to return to her home regardless of previous pans. Something told them mother and son wouldn’t be back there for a while. Roy was on his way to Havoc’s now. It was a quick pit stop before he went to his Aunt’s for Christmas.

Upon learning the news her nephew was in the hospital, the woman had visited him every day. There had been no room for argument there but Roy wouldn’t have wanted to protest anyway. After the wild ride his life had been before he was shot and during his recovery, he was grateful for the woman’s presence. He had neglected to inform his mother. Roy didn’t need her to worry about him anymore than she already did.

Speaking of, Chris Mustang simply raised an eyebrow as Roy told her about meeting his mother.

“I wondered if you would ever figure it out,” she remarked, crossing her arms across her chest. “Well?”

“Well what?”

“How is she?”

“Happy.” Roy smiled at the memory of their night together. “Did you ever visit her?”

“I wanted to when you were a baby but she was adamant. I don’t know what my bastard of a brother said or did to her, but I have never seen fear like that before.” Chris sniffed disdainfully. At the mention of her sibling, it was a wonder she didn’t spit on the floor. “We kept in touch for a few years. I sent news of your progress but she moved away and we lost contact around the time you were eight or nine. I am glad she is happy.”

“That’s all I have ever wanted to know.”

“Will you pursue anything further?”

Roy shrugged, but hissed in pain at the movement. _Mental note, stop shrugging._ That had been the third time today and it was only noon. Damn habits.

“I would like to,” he replied, gritting his teeth. “But I need to take care of other things first.”

“No matter how bad you think you have it,” Havoc quoted, pushing the button to call the lift down to them and drawing Roy’s attention back to the present. Head tilted up, the blonde detective watched the numbers decrease until they reached floor five. “There is always someone who has it way worse than you.”

“Ah, the immortal words of Olivier Armstrong.”

“There is a reason she prefers actions over words.”

“It’s true though. Compared to what Riza has had to deal with, my issues with my father look like a petty squabble.” Roy wasn’t even aware of the other times Berthold Hawkeye had visited his daughter while Roy had been living next door. He had been completely oblivious to it all. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Havoc lifted his hands defensively, the duffel bag swaying with the movement and the cold wind as they exited the hospital. Roy shivered as he pulled his coat closer to his body. “It has nothing to do with me. Riza didn’t want to get anyone involved unless it was absolutely necessary. Remember when I said Riza won’t seek out help unless she’s pushed to do so?” Roy frowned. He thought she would at least go to Havoc and Catalina about something like this. “The only person who knows the whole story is Rebecca who had also sworn not to tell a soul. It is Riza’s story to tell. Not mine.”

Roy kept forgetting that he had no right to that information. Their relationship had shifted for sure. It was towards something they both wanted – he was fairly certain about that – but didn’t want under their current circumstances. Even as he lay in his hospital bed at night, his thoughts turned to her. Sometimes it was of her face, her lovely smile and laugh. Others, it was of her father pointing a gun at her and that didn’t sit well with him _at all_. She had visited him the first three days, but hadn’t made it the last two. Roy knew it was partly out of guilt and no matter how many times she was reassured, the blonde still harboured the feeling. Still, the wait was agonising until she showed up.

Of course, he never told her how he really felt. It was cowardly but he couldn’t do it to her. There would be no point either. It would only put them in a more awkward position. He wouldn’t put the pair of them at risk like that.

Carefully, Roy eased himself into the passenger side of the car. Havoc drove them to his apartment. As the buildings and trees flitted past, Roy fell silent as he continued to contemplate his relationship with Riza.

Roy hadn’t even realised how anxious he was upon arriving at Havoc’s home. He was desperate to see her face again. Riza hadn’t visited yesterday or the day before which turned a long day into an even longer one. His saving grace was Havoc’s and Chris’ visit.

The moment he set his eyes upon her, all his worries and fears about her wellbeing dissipated. Roy felt he could breathe more easily. She was currently sitting cross-legged on a silver blanket in the middle of the room with her son. He was drawing something on a piece of paper. Pen covered his hands but his tongue stuck out in concentration as he worked. The sun had entered the window at just the right time, catching her hair and making it shine. She looked beautiful and Roy felt his breath catch in his throat. She lifted her gaze as she noticed them enter the room, but she didn’t smile. Her expression turned… uncertain? Worried? Before Roy could mull it over his thoughts were interrupted by James.

“Roy!” he called, sprinting over to the older man. He skidded to a halt, throwing his arms around his waist. “I missed you.”

Touched by his gesture, Roy lowered his hand to the boy’s head. Ruffling his hair, he chuckled. “I missed you too buddy.”

“Are you all better now?” James pulled away, eyeing his black sling critically.

“I am on the mend. It will be a while until I am back to normal.”

“I made you this but it isn’t finished.” James offered the drawing, his disappointment clear.

Looking at the piece of paper that was presented to him, Roy grinned at the sight of three stick figures. They were labelled Roy, Mum, and James. “Do you want to keep it and give me it when you are finished? Or can I take it now?”

James deliberated for a moment. “You keep it.” His decision came with a confident nod. “It is your Christmas present.” His smile was bright and infectious.

“That’s very thoughtful of you. Thank you.”

“James can you help me with this stuff?” Havoc called through from the kitchen. The boy turned and ran through, leaving the two adults alone. No doubt this was a plan cooked up by both Havoc and Catalina but Roy wasn’t going to argue.

“How are you?” Riza asked, making her way over to him. Her voice was casual but there was an undercurrent of worry. She lifted a hand to his sling gently and Roy welcomed her touch. A frown appeared on her face as her eyes made their way to his injured shoulder.

“Still in a bit of pain,” he admitted while his shoulder throbbed. “But painkillers work wonders.” A familiar look crossed over Riza’s face. “If you apologise one more time I am going to stop accepting apologies from you from now on,” he joked with a chuckle. She needed to stop worrying about it. It was in the past now and it was time to look forward.

“I know but… Every time I look at you I see you getting shot.” Voice barely above a whisper, she leaned in closer to him. It seemed she was trying to find excuses to touch him. Not that he minded one bit. “It makes it very difficult to sleep at night.”

Understanding, Roy wrapped his good arm around her shoulder, gently tugging her body against his. “I feel the same way every time I see him point that gun at you in James.” His grip on her tightened. He heard her breathe in deeply as her face was pressed against his chest. His heart swelled with love for this woman. “But I’ll be fine. I have had worse.”

Riza craned her neck up to look at him. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“Not particularly,” he grimaced. “But it’s true. In fact,” Roy added, a grin appearing across his face. “Havoc owes me money.”

“I do?” The man in question entered the room with Catalina at his back, both with a grin on their faces. Making a decision, Roy didn’t even try to hide his affection for the woman in his arms. As Riza began to move away from him, Roy’s arm remained wrapped around her shoulders, effectively anchoring her to his side.

“I won our bet,” Roy grinned.

“I was hoping you would have forgotten about that,” he grumbled, fishing his wallet out of his back pocket. He pulled out a thousand cenz and handed it over.

“What bet?” Catalina asked.

“Havoc bet against me which he should know by now is a stupid thing to do,” Roy smirked smugly.

“Don’t rub it in man,” he grumbled, shoving the money into his hands. That meant, regrettably, he had to remove his arm from around Riza’s shoulder. Pleased, he noted she didn’t move away from him.

“Dude, why do you carry so much cash on you?”

“He has a bad gambling habit,” Catalina replied with a roll of her eyes.

“Thank you kindly.”

“Seriously, what bet?” Riza asked.

“I bet this reckless bas –” Havoc froze, remembering James was in the next room. “I bet this reckless _idiot_ wouldn’t acquire five bullet holes in him before his thirtieth birthday. No one is _that_ crazy. And you just _had_ to prove me wrong.”

“I would say it was worth it… But it really wasn’t.” He grimaced in pain. “The things I do for money,” he sighed dramatically.

“Are you serious?” Riza asked. She didn’t seem particularly happy by the revelation. “You bet on _that_? What is wrong with you?”

Remembering his mental note, Roy lifted one shoulder to shrug it. But Catalina answered for him. “It is a common occurrence.”

“Dude is like fu – I mean freaking Batman over here, diving in front of bullets for people.” Havoc gave him an odd look. “You are weird, man.”

“Says you, who has three.” Roy snickered. “Old Bill was very considerate of where he hit you.”

“ _Hey_ ,” the blonde barked in warning, raising a finger to point it at Roy. His glare just made Roy’s smirk wider. “We agreed not to talk about that.”

“Well since you _so kindly_ shared my story with Catalina, I think it is only fair.”

“You wouldn’t _dare_.”

“Oh I would,” he grinned. “You know I would.” His wink sent Havoc fuming.

“What happened?” Riza asked as she looked between the two men, thoroughly confused.

“Nothing,” Havoc replied through gritted teeth almost daring Roy to tell her.

“No, I wanna know,” Catalina chipped in, crossing her hands over her chest. She turned to her partner. “Care to share?”

“Nope.”

So, she turned to Roy. Before she opened her mouth, Havoc quickly interjected.

“Old Bill hit him in the –”

“Oh wow is that the time?” Havoc shouted to interrupt. “We need to go Roy. Gotta get you to your Aunt’s. Can’t keep Chris waiting!”

He grabbed Roy’s good arm and practically dragged the laughing man from the room.

“You are a dick,” Havoc muttered as he slammed the front door behind them.

“I know,” Roy grinned.

Roy’s amusement only grew while Havoc sullenly drove to his Aunt’s place.

The house was a hive of activity when they pulled him. His adoptive siblings were decorating the living room when he arrived. They all looked up at once. To have fifteen sets of eyes fall on you at once would be daunting, but it made Roy grin. He missed being here.

“Hey, Roy is here!”

“You made it!”

“Oh my god! What happened to your arm?!”

“Chris! Roy is here!”

The onslaught of noise didn’t stop once they surrounded him. The youngest members hugged his legs while his older adoptive siblings hung back. The few who hadn’t been filled in on his recent activities eyes his sling with concern. The younger members eyed it with interest. Apparently it looked “cool”.

“Give the boy some room to breathe,” Chris snapped upon entering the room. The youngest automatically backed away, recognising her command. Roy remembered it well. Chris wasn’t the most motherly person in the world. Tough love was her forte. But it gave the people in this room a chance at a better life and each one was grateful to her for that. “How are you?” she asked, eyeing him critically. Her eyes narrowed as he swayed slightly. His head was beginning to pound with all the noise. “All of you: out.” There was no argument there.

“Thanks.”

Chris snorted and sat on the nearest couch. Roy followed suit as he sighed in relief, grateful the noise had ebbed. His shoulder throbbed again.

“How are you?”

“It hurts like hell.”

“Of course it does. What did you expect?”

Roy stared at her with his mouth slightly open. “I didn’t… I knew it would, I was just telling you.” Chris sniffed disdainfully. “You asked!”

She waved away his protests. “Anyway I’m glad you are home.” The change in the conversation would have left him with whiplash if it didn’t hurt so damn much to move right now. He was overdue for his pain medication. “I didn’t fancy having Christmas in that cramped hospital room.” There it was.

“I wouldn’t have made you sit in that room on Christmas,” Roy replied, wincing as another wave of pain washed over him. He had been up and about for too long today already, and all he had done was walk out of the hospital, spend fifteen minutes at Havoc’s, and walked into his Aunt’s house. Holy hell this was going to be a _long_ Christmas.

“Good, because I wasn’t gonna.” She waved at him. “Go. Get some rest. You look like shit.”

“Thanks,” he smiled sweetly, but winced as he stood.

“I’m glad you are home, Roy boy.”

Chris must have been feeling nostalgic because that was a name he hadn’t heard in years. He smiled to himself. His Aunt’s way of showing affection may not be what most are used to but she had her own way of showing she cared.

Apparently his old room had been made up so he could rest there while he was recovering. Ben helped him up the stairs with his bag that Havoc had promptly dropped at Roy’s feet at the front door. In his partner’s words, “your family is scary” was enough reason for the blonde detective not to stick around and book it back to the car. Roy had huffed, feeling like an animal that was getting dumped on a relative. Karma was a bitch, he supposed.

“So what happened with Jean and Old Bill?” Riza asked, her voice curious. After taking his pain medication Roy had pathetically felt the need to hear her voice again. It had become a more frequent need after the shooting. Of course, she was happy to oblige. Nothing had been discussed openly between the two, but Roy – dare he say it – was beginning to think that once this was all over with his father, they would be able to start a future together. There wouldn’t just be spur of the moment kisses or one night flings. The feelings in his chest and stomach confirmed that he wanted a future with this woman. Hopefully, she felt the same way. Hopefully that bastard of an ex hadn’t turned her off from the prospect completely. It would be understandable if it had, Roy surmised as the phone had rung in his ear. But Roy hoped and hoped they would be able to move past it if that was the case.

 “Rebecca keeps trying to badger it out of him but the man is steadfast in his resolve. I have never seen him this tight lipped before. It is quite concerning.”

“It was a beauty,” Roy grinned. He felt himself relax on the bed. The pain ebbed from his shoulder slightly and his mind slowed.

“Hold on, Rebecca’s here. I will put you on speaker phone. There.”

“Hey Mustang, what happened?” she wailed. “Jean won’t budge. I need to know… for reasons.”

“He shot him in the ass. He couldn’t sit down for months.”

“Oh my god,” he heard Catalina exclaim from further away in the room. Then, laughter soon followed. Well, cackling was more like it. “When was this?”

Roy thought back. “Two years ago?” he guessed. “It was in the summer.”

“ _That’s_ why you didn’t come and visit me over the summer that year? Busy with work _my ass_.” The two women snickered.

Both women proceeded to laugh at his partner’s expense. There was the sound of the phone moving before Havoc’s voice hissed through the earpiece. “I _hate_ you.”

“Love you too, man,” Roy grinned.

“This is the _best_ Christmas present,” Catalina continued to laugh. “Thanks Mustang!”

“Anytime.”

“That’s fine,” Havoc replied over the phone, his voice casual but Roy knew there was another thing he coming his way. They do say karma is a bitch after all. “Hey Riza?”

“Yeah?” she answered. Her voice was faint in the background.

“Did Roy ever tell you about _his_ experience with Old Bill?”

“ _Who_ is this Old Bill you guys are talking about?” she asked.

“I wanna know!” he heard James pipe up.

“I will _gladly_ tell you,” Havoc replied. His voice retreated into the background. He had obviously handed the phone back to Riza and was walking away. “Finish up with your lover boy and I will tell you _all_ about it,” he hollered for Roy’s benefit.

Roy felt his face heat up at Havoc’s description. For God’s sake, he was a grown man. Riza apparently felt similarly, because she coughed and then there was silence. The noise in the background ceased.

“You are off speakerphone now,” she replied, her voice softer. Roy nodded stupidly, forgetting she wouldn’t be able to see him. Still, being able to simply hear her voice was enough. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore,” he mumbled. He sounded like a child but he didn’t care. Riza sighed. “I’m just waiting for the medication to kick in fully. Then I will get loopy and probably fall asleep on you.”

The grin was evident in her voice. “I think you already have gone loopy.” Her laugh was music to his ears and he sighed in content upon getting the chance to hear it. “I suppose that will be all right,” she sighed dramatically. “I _suppose_ I can let you get some sleep.”

“Good. I wouldn’t’ want to upset you,” he replied. His eyes drooped and his mind wandered away from the conversation.

“Merry Christmas, Roy.” Her voice was so warm. It enveloped him as he drifted off. It felt like he was a kid again, sitting by the fire in Chris’ living room as the snow fell outside.

It felt like home.

“Merry Christmas,” he replied, his words slurred.

Riza chuckled. “I will let you sleep. I will speak to you later.”

He whined. He didn’t want the voice to go away. “Don’t go,” he mumbled. “I want to talk to you about…” His eyes were closed now. In his mind’s eye he saw her face. A feeling swelled in his chest, but he couldn’t remember what it was.

“You need to sleep,” she admonished, but it was friendly.

“Okay,” he replied sullenly. “Love you,” he mumbled once more before sleep finally claimed him.

* * *

 

Riza’s heart thundered in her chest. She almost dropped the phone. It was a good thing Jean and Becca were out of the room because if they had seen her face they would have become concerned.

She heard Roy snoring through the earpiece. Like the device was on fire, she hit the end call button and dropped it on her bed. She stared at it as Roy’s parting words swirled around in her mind.

_“Love you.”_

That was _twice_ now.

No. She shook her head. He didn’t mean it. He loved her as a friend. He was so high on medication he would have said anything.

_But what if he did mean it?_

That thought sent such a thrill through her, it jolted her from her spot. She brought a hand to her chest as she tried to calm her heart and her breathing.

“Mum!” James called through the door to her room. Riza jumped in fright, heart rate spiking once more. With a start she realised she was shaking. “Dinner is almost ready! Uncle Jean says it will be…” he trailed off. Havoc called something to him from the kitchen, but Riza couldn’t make it out. “Uncle Jean says it will be ready in five minutes!”

Taking a deep breath, Riza composed herself. It was the medication talking. Nothing more. Roy didn’t mean that.

He couldn’t. Not to her. Not to plain old Riza with so much baggage it was a wonder she still remained upright.

“Mum!”

“Okay!” Riza called back while her voice shook. “I am coming through now.”

She heard James run back through to the kitchen.

She joined them like she said she would a couple of minutes later although there was already a plan formulating in her mind.

It was against her better judgement that she was standing outside Roy’s Aunt’s house on the second last day of the year. But here she was. She went against that more often than not when it came to Roy so there was no need to stop the tradition now. She needed to see him. To see if what he said to her on the phone was true. To see if he even remembered it.

She had left it too long. Indecision had stopped the confrontation but after stewing on those three little words for a couple of days Riza decided enough was enough.

“Hello!” the red haired woman from the café a couple of weeks ago greeted her cheerily. Riza simply stared. She hadn’t expected to see her here. Oh God. Had the woman – Claire? Riza thought that was her name – been invited here by Roy for the holidays and had she just shown up and possibly ruined everything for him? Panic had begun to build within her. “Merry Christmas! You are… Riza? Right?”

She nodded, too worried to find the words right away. “Yes,” she answered after clearing her throat. “I’m… I’m here to see Roy. He is my neighbour,” she quickly clarified to throw off any suspicion. Not that there was anything to be suspicious of. Oh God what was she doing here? This was so _stupid_ – Claire was looking at her expectantly. “I just wanted to… see how he was doing,” she finished lamely.

“Of course! Come in.” Claire ushered her in, even going so far as to remove her jacket for her. “Roy!” she called. “You have a visitor!”

There was the sound of a door opening in the other room then movement through the frosted glass door that led to the living room. She instantly knew it was him because one arm swung by the person’s side while they walked. The other arm was notably absent from the other side of their body.

_Stupid idea. Stupid idea!_

“I do?” he asked, a frown on his face. Riza studied him, noting how tired he looked. Dark circles were present under his eyes and she couldn’t help but feel concern. His face looked tight and drawn. Was his shoulder still bothering him? Was he getting enough sleep? Was he still in pain? The familiar feeling of guilt ate at her. As soon as he saw her standing in the hall, his face lit up. A grin spread over his face. “Hey!” he greeted cheerily, but there was a nervousness to him. His eyes quickly shot to the red haired woman and Riza felt her stomach sink even lower.

_They were here together._

_Oh shit._

“I will leave you two to it,” Claire announced easing around Roy.

“Thanks,” he replied. His eyes drifted over to the woman and he nodded, their eyes lingering on one another for a moment longer than was necessary.

If her stomach was on the floor a moment ago it had fallen into the core of the planet by now.

While the living room door closed behind him his attention snapped back to Riza. “Would you like a drink?”

Finally recovering from her shock, Riza’s brain kicked into gear. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to show up unannounced. I don’t know what I was thinking, I can see you are busy. I’ll let you get back to your family –”

“Riza.” Roy grabbed her wrist gently to stop her from turning away from him to retrieve her jacket. “What’s the rush? You just got here.” His voice was quiet, as if he was trying not to be overheard.

“It wasn’t for anything important –”

“Riza.” The way he said her name made her freeze. “Stay. Please.”

How could she say no?

Forcing herself to calm down, she nodded.

Roy visibly relaxed and the smile returned to his face. “How about that drink?”

“That would be lovely, thank you.”

All thoughts of coming here to see him, to ask him if he really meant what he said to her on the phone before Christmas and in the hospital slipped her mind. He was clearly here with Claire. And she had put her big fat foot in it and shown up while they were celebrating the holidays together. She didn’t want to pry him away from somebody who he might have interest in “that way”. That had never been her intention. She wasn’t that kind of person either.

A thought stopped her rapid, panicked thoughts in her mind. Why he have said “love you” if he was here with someone else? Doubt niggled at her mind while pain seeped into her chest. If he truly was here with her then Riza didn’t want to see it. Yes, she wanted him to be happy and yes, she wouldn’t expect him to wait for her while this whole mess with her father resolved itself.

But it didn’t mean she wanted to actually see him with someone else.

It was selfish but her heart wanted what it wanted. The organ and her brain were in cahoots, scheming against her well wishes for the man she loved.

“What would you like?” Roy opened the fridge in the blessedly empty kitchen. Sounds of laughter and conversation floated through from the living room. She felt bad for dragging Roy away from it. She also noticed his tone was softer than usual. Was he afraid of his family overhearing them? Her stomach tightened again.

“Just a water is fine. Thank you.”

He appeared to have some difficulty balancing the glass in his left hand while turning the tap on with his right hand. Riza offered to help, but Roy was adamant he had it under control. With a goofy but pleased smile, he held out her glass with a careful flourish. Despite her reservations, Riza smiled at his antics. She also elected to ignore the considerable amount of water covering his t-shirt.

“So, to what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you today?”

She could lie. Or, tell him the truth that she just wanted to see him. But that made her seem pathetic. A form of saviour came from a gift that was present in her handbag.

There was the _bang_ of a door closing elsewhere in the house and Roy visibly stiffened. His eyes shot up to somewhere just above her head, as if he was paying attention to the sound.

“Are you okay?” she asked after a silent moment. He had been acting jumpy since she showed up.

“Huh?” he asked very eloquently. “Oh, yeah! I’m fine. Sorry. What were you saying?”

Riza paused, watching him. There was that soft tone again. He offered Riza her favourite kind of smile. That damn crooked grin.

“James got a Christmas gift for you,” she announced. Nerves flitted through her as she rifled through the bag. “He was adamant I bring it today,” she added. It wasn’t a lie. Her son truly was desperate to get it to Roy after forgetting to hand it over on Christmas Eve but after a quick explanation from Riza about why it had to wait, he pouted and sulked for about an hour before it was forgotten.

In fact, she had told Jean and Becca that she was quickly going to the supermarket to pick up a few things for their dinner tonight. Jean had remained in the apartment to set up for the party he was hosting tomorrow night and Rebecca had taken James out to the park so he could try out the new rollerblades his Aunt had bought him for Christmas.

 They both had no idea she was here. Thinking back, Riza still didn’t know which train of thought spurred her into coming here. Not being one to act on impulse it was strange behaviour for her. Apparently this man brought that out in her.

Speaking of, Roy’s eyes crinkled at the edges upon the mention of a gift from her son. “Did he really? That was sweet of him.” His tone shifted, genuine excitement filling his voice.

Riza nodded, retrieving said gift. James had picked it out himself while they were at the supermarket. Roy was still in the hospital while they had been there and her son wanted to get him something as a “get well soon” present. Through helping her son deal with the trauma of what the witnessed and preparing for Christmas, the pair had completely forgotten about it until Christmas morning.

“He intended to bring you it to you while you were in the hospital but it was… Hard for him to be back there.” Her voice dropped low, internally wincing at the memory of her son freezing at the main door then having a full on meltdown. Tears, howling, the lot.

“That’s why you didn’t show up last Monday.” It wasn’t a question, but Riza confirmed it.

“Full on meltdown. I had to take him home.” Riza fell silent, worry wriggling its way into her chest. Taking a deep breath, she offered him James’ gift. It was a small bear plush with “Central PD” blazoned across the blue t-shirt. He had written a letter to Roy – well, as well as a seven year old could write a letter – explaining the meaning behind it. Her son was nothing but thorough. Of course, Riza had helped him. “Here you go.”

Roy took it in his hands with a chuckle. He plucked the letter from inside the t-shirt, smoothing out the small folded piece of paper.

 

_To Roy,_

_Mrs. Short read a story to us before we stopped school for Christmas about a bear that helped a man in the forest and protected him from the other bad bears so I got you this as a present to help keep you safe from the bad people at work._

_I am very happy you are still alive and I can’t wait to play the Xbox with you again._

_Your best friend James_

Riza’s heart lifted, her butterflies going crazy, as she watched his grin spread from ear to ear. A laugh left him towards the end.

“This is great,” he told her. Lifting the paper from the table, he gestured with it. “Did you help?”

Riza nodded. “It is all his words. I just wrote it. James always knows what he wants to say but his chicken scratches are ineligible.”

Roy chuckled. “Well tell him this is amazing. Although, best friend is quite a claim. I am honoured he thinks that highly of me.”

“Of course he does,” Riza replied as if it was obvious. How could Roy not see that? “He looks up to you so much.” A pleased grin was his only response. He truly looked lost for words.

“Well, this little guy will be joining me on my desk at work. It can be my lucky mascot.”

The pair shared a quiet moment. There was so much she wanted to say but held back. It wasn’t the right time. And as far as they were both concerned regarding Mr. Mayor, it never would be. Just as Riza decided to open her mouth, the door to the living room banged open followed by a giggle.

“ _I_ will get it Mrs,” a female voice admonished. “You will just spill your drink if you carry it.” A giggle followed but it was only Claire who entered the kitchen. She paused, like a deer in the headlights, as she spotted them both sitting at the table. Riza felt disappointment creep into her chest, but she pushed it down and offered the woman a smile. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Roy grin. “Sorry guys,” she whispered loudly, cringing.

“It’s okay Claire,” Roy told her.

The red head strode over to Roy, ruffling his hair as she approached the fridge. “I am just grabbing a drink for Elicia. The princess is far too over excited to get her own right now. Although I suppose I don’t need to remind you of what happened last time.” She winked at Roy.

He laughed. “No, definitely not.”

Squelching her disappointment once and for all, Riza stood. “I won’t take up any more of your time Roy.” She quickly dismissed what she thought was disappointment flitting over his own face. “I need to get back to James anyway,” she lied.

“Of course. Who knows what trouble Havoc has gotten him into?”

Riza chuckled. “That is correct. I would say Becca would be tearing her hair out but she is just as bad. It is like having three kids rather than one.” That was definitely true. She never liked leaving the three alone for too long. In two minutes they could cook up a whole damn conspiracy against her.

“So you know Havoc? Roy’s partner at work?” Claire piped up.

Riza nodded. “Yes. He’s an old friend.” If the woman noticed her pause between sentences, she didn’t react.

“Small world, huh? Is that how you two met?”

“We live next door to each other,” Roy explained.

“That’s crazy! What are the chances of that?”

Riza shrugged. It was a series of coincidental events – events that had both turned out for the better and worse for them both. Better, because she got to meet Roy. Worse, because she couldn’t even tell him how she really felt.

“Anyway, Miss Elicia is asking for you. She is becoming very demanding. I suppose she takes after her father.” The pair laughed and Riza got the distinct feeling of being left out. It was childish, but it opened an old wound from her childhood that she would much rather keep closed up. It reared its ugly head every once and a while. “Take your time though. I’ll keep her distracted. I just wanted to warn you.”

“It’s all right,” Riza interjected. “I will just be on my way.”

“It was nice to meet you again Riza,” Claire replied cheerily as she exited the room. She even offered her a wave.

“Thank you for the drink.” Riza picked up her bag, avoiding his gaze. She didn’t expect Roy to follow her to the door, but she sighed quietly as his footsteps sounded behind her. She still felt foolish for showing up unannounced. Not only had she taken him away from his family for something that could wait but there was clearly more to Roy than she knew. It was a sharp reminder that she didn’t know him. Not really. The way he acted in this house was completely different from how he acted at his apartment. He seemed more… carefree. More easy-going. His smile came more easily and he laughed more often.

“Tell James I said thank you for the gift. It means a lot to me.” He stressed the last part, as if urging her to understand. Shrugging on her jacket, Riza nodded as she busied herself to leave.

“I will.”

“And thank you. For checking up on me.” His gaze appeared to say that mattered more to him, but the words never left him.

Silence reigned in the hallway. Their eye contact was broken by the sound of a door closing. Roy stiffened once more. What was _up_ with him?

“Are you okay?” he blurted out.

“Yes,” she replied, thoroughly confused. She should be the one asking _him_ that. “Why?”

His voice lowered, speaking softly, as if he didn’t want anyone to overhear.

“Is anything bothering you? You sounded off on the phone yesterday.”

Something else they had started doing fairly regularly. It started off with That Phone Call – the one where Roy ended it with telling her she loved him – but every day since she had found herself enjoying their conversations, so she had initiated it the day after and it snowballed from there. She would be lying if she said she secretly didn’t want to just hear his voice.

“It was nothing,” she shrugged but even to her it sounded false. Roy’s good hand was outstretched and it grasped one of her hands lightly. It felt good. It felt like she didn’t want to let go.

“Liar.” He smirked.

“It was,” she replied defensively.

Her intention was to come here today and confront him about his words – if he really did love her – but now that it had come to it she choked. With her heart in her throat and blood thundering in her ears she was at a loss for words.

“You didn’t come here to just drop off the gift, did you?”

“I did.” Her reply was sharp but he just kept _pushing_. Roy shot her a look that told her he didn’t believe her. “It was nothing.” Riza placed her bag over her shoulder. By busying herself with the task it stopped her hands from shaking. There was no point bringing it up now. It was foolish of her to come here and confront him anyway.

“Humour me.”

“It’s _nothing_ ,” she replied more forcefully.

“Riza.” She could hear the irritation in his voice. Good because he was _really_ pushing her buttons. “Tell me.”

“Did you mean what you said? On the phone the other night?”

It just came out. She couldn’t help it. She snapped. Her nerves were a bundle in her stomach but she was breathing hard, her irritation finally pushing through.

“What did I say?” he asked carefully.

He was either a damn good actor or he genuinely had no idea.

“If you don’t know then it doesn’t matter.” It was the coward’s way out but she would try anyway. Unfortunately for Riza, Roy was not about to let this go so easily, as previously demonstrated in their conversation. He was as stubborn as her.

“No, tell me.”

“ _It doesn’t matter_.”

“It does. It has obviously riled you up in some way. What did I say to you, Riza? I need to know because from where I am standing I appear to have offended you in some way –”

“You told me you loved me,” was her sharp reply.

A pin could drop right in front of them and it would sound like an atomic bomb going off. Even the living room had gone quiet. Apparently everyone was privy to their conversation. That irked her even more. This was between her and Roy. No one else. Conversation picked up once more, but it was subdued.

“I – I did what?” he stuttered. He didn’t even appear to be breathing. So Riza repeated her statement and watched his face pale. He looked terrified, panicked. That stung more than she would like to admit.

“Since you wanted to know so badly,” Riza snapped, her irritation building. “I want to know the answer. Did you mean it?” He fumbled for words which didn’t help Riza’s anger. “Come on, Roy,” she rounded on him. “You kept pushing me and wanted to know what was bothering me and now you won’t even answer me? _Did you mean it_?”

“No.” Riza resisted the temptation to look down at her chest because she was pretty sure somebody just stabbed her in the heart. Fucking hell that hurt to hear. It felt like a slap to the face. Pushing down the tears she hardened her glare.

But there was a look in his eyes… As if begging for something. They widened a fraction and his gaze flicked towards the living room door.

“Riza…” he whispered. “Please –”

“Please _what_?”

“Don’t do this now –” His voice was barely audible. But from his tone he sounded frustrated. Angry even.

“ _What_?” Her anger spiked.

This was not like her. She wasn’t one to get angry over something like this. She had buried her feelings for Roy deep down within her because she had to protect her son. Roy’s father may have eluded to threaten her if Roy was to misbehave at work so it was up to her to protect her family. By staying away and burying it she would be protecting James. That was the only thing that mattered to her through this whole mess.

However, a small part of her was sick of it all. Life had been grossly unfair to her in every aspect possible. First, it had taken away her mother when she had been a child. Her father had beaten her on a weekly basis thanks to the drink and his grief. When Riza finally thought she had escaped Berthold followed her. Then Matt left her. Her only reprieve had been her son. He was a constant gift of joy and love that she wouldn’t trade for the world.

Then she had met Roy. He had been like sunshine appearing after a _very_ long spell of rain. It had warmed her heart and offered her life a little more happiness. At first she had been afraid of loving someone again. But after getting a small taste she wanted more. She _wanted_ to be loved.

And she wanted it to be Roy.

It appeared she was cursed though because now even that had ended in tatters. The man before her had ripped everything from her, as so many had done before.

“No.” Roy straightened, head twitching to the right not once, but twice. His final response was the nail in their coffin. His gaze didn’t quite meet her own, opting to pinpoint it somewhere beyond her head.

So he would break her heart but not even have the decency to look at her while he did it?

Fucking coward.

“I don’t and I don’t know what you are talking about.” His casual, indifferent tone made her even angrier.

Riza’s throat bobbed as she swallowed once. Then twice. “For the past six months, was any of it real?” she whispered.

The pause was an answer in itself.

“Any of what real?”

That was it.

No explanation. Nothing.

The look on his face was neutral. There was… something underneath that expression, something strained. If Riza wasn’t so furious she would have noticed that indication in the way the vein on his neck popped out.

But all Riza saw was no indication of regrets or if he was lying. The bastard even shrugged. “Sorry to disappoint you Riza, but I must have been really high on painkillers to say that. We are just friends. I thought you knew that?”

And that made her even angrier.

“Good,” she snarled at his condescending tone. Riza wasn’t sure where this anger came from but it was an unchained beast now. How _dare_ he? How dare he do this to her. To her _son_? “At least I know where we stand.” Riza yanked the front door open and Roy didn’t stop her. A small part of her wanted him to. Wanted him to laugh and tell her it was all a joke, even if it was a god awful one at that. But there was nothing but eyes watching her every move. “Stay away from me and my son,” she warned, eyes hard. “I won’t waste anymore of your time Roy Mustang. Goodbye.”

Riza felt slightly bad about slamming the front door closed but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She was so fed up at the world that she felt she deserved to be able to slam a door or two. Her anger at the universe, at God, at whoever was making her life an unfair piece of crap, propelled her towards her car that sat at the end of the street. When she sat in the car she pulled away from the curb so fast that someone beeped their horn and yelled something at her. She was being reckless. This was stupid. She needed to calm down before she caused an accident.

Think of James. That had been her mantra throughout the years to get her to clam down.

For once it didn’t work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DON'T HATE ME
> 
> I HAVE MY REASONS


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: ...  
> i had my reasons and i stand by them  
> this chapter was heavily inspired by the song "lost without you" by freya ridings so if you want a general feel of the chapter you can listen to it! also it is angsty af and her voice is incredible so give it a listen anyway!  
> ALSO AMAZING FANART ALERT so caesurables on tumblr made some incredible fanart based on this chapter so go and check it out! all their work is honestly /chef's kiss/

_Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh_ fuck _!_

Roy remained frozen in the hallway while his heart shattered into a million pieces. Panic swelled within as it closed off his airways. Breathing was a struggle as he replayed the image of Riza storming out of the house, her face pained and tear stained.

_Fuck!_

Pressure built in his eyes and throat, threatening to suffocate him. He sucked in a shaky breath, letting lose all his emotions in that action.

That _damn_ door opened in the hall behind him, signalling the entrance of the one person he _really_ did not want to see right now. The reason for his heartache.

“It appears I underestimated you, son,” the Mayor announced. Without turning around Roy could see the smirk on his face. The bastard knew he had won. Roy counted to ten in his head, bottling everything up once more. The urge to rip that look off the Mayor’s face rose exponentially.

Fighting down the urge to vomit upon even thinking his next words, Roy shrugged. “Like I told you, she is just a friend. I can’t help it she got the wrong end of the stick.”

His hand twitched, desperate to punch his father in his all too pleased face.

“It is a shame. She seems like a lovely lady.”

Don’t punch him. Don’t punch him. _Don’t fucking punch him._

Just get through the rest of this conversation then you can go and apologise to Riza. Oh God this whole mess was awful. The look on her face as she left would haunt him forever.

Roy didn’t deserve her.

“It is a shame what happened to your arm, Roy.” His fake sympathy was laughable. “What was that man’s name?” Richard’s head cocked to the side as if in thought. “Berthold Hawkeye?”

Roy felt ice shoot into his veins.

“He sounded like a fine man on the phone. Shame.”

Before Roy knew it he had his father pressed against the wall with his arm at the man’s throat. Pain seared in his left shoulder from the quick movement but Roy didn’t even notice. All he could see was red and his father’s head on a spike.

“What did you say?” Roy spat. He took great pleasure in the shock on his father’s face. It was schooled back into a disapproving look.

“Really?” he asked disdainfully. But Roy was far too angry already to even think about letting him go. Instead the arm pressed harder against his father’s windpipe. The Mayor’s eyes widened a fraction already knowing he had gone too far.

“What did you _do_?” Roy seethed.

“Get off me!”

The arm pressed harder.

“Did you speak to Riza’s father?” No answer. “Did you?” he yelled in his face. His right arm was _so damn close_ to simply crushing the windpipe. The temptation was there through the red haze of Roy’s vision.

“Roy!” Chris barked from the other end of the hallway. Oh, there was no way he was backing down.

“I told you I would kill you if you laid a finger on her,” Roy seethed. “And you sent that madman after her?” An arm was placed on his right shoulder but Roy shrugged it off. “I will _kill_ you.”

More hands appeared and grabbed him around the waist. Roy was pulled off his father, growling as he went. Richard gasped, clutching his throat.

“Roy, enough.” Chris’ steely eye set on her brother.

“Well,” Richard announced with finality, smoothing out his suit. “I sense it is time for me to leave. It appears I am no longer welcome here.” He turned around to the not-so-subtle glares from his adopted family through the doorway to the living room.

“Get the fuck out of my house you bastard,” Chris replied coldly.

  _Yes, you prick. You have done the damage you wanted to do now get the_ fuck _out._ He had shown up unannounced to speak with his sister. Chris had heard Riza’s arrival. That was the reason he had stiffened when a _bang_ sounded through the house, like a door closing. His Aunt had kept him busy. But if Chris could hear them, so could his father.

“You were never welcome in the first place,” Roy replied, failing to keep the snarl out of his voice. His bitterness shone through, taking pleasure in the slight frown that appeared on the Mayor’s face. Hands still held him back as he strained forward, wanting to tear out the man’s throat. If only he had his gun on him.

“Goodbye, son.” A smirk appeared over his sneering face. “I always knew you were a terrible liar. Merry Christmas.”

“Fuck you, _Dad_.”

The front door closed behind him. No sooner than a second later, Claire flew into his field of view like a bat out of hell. Roy barely had time to gather his thoughts before she tore into him.

“Are you a _fucking_ moron?” Claire hissed as she stomped into the hall. Roy turned to glare at her.

“ _Not now_ ,” he growled.

“Answer my fucking question. What were you _thinking,_ doing that to Riza?”

Now that his father had gone and he no longer saw red, Roy supressed the tears and the aching in his chest at the mention of her name. He was fairly certain that where his heart once was, there was now a gaping black hole. It was leaving him breathless. He was choking on nothing and everything at once.

He kept seeing Riza’s pained face in his mind.

This was all his doing. He had fucked everything up while trying to protect her.

Logically he told himself this was for the best. His father’s threats hung over his head every time he spent time with Riza. Roy wouldn’t allow himself to get as close as he wanted to because it would only end badly. Just like this. The man had set her own father after her. The two had become too close. It had become too obvious. Either that or the Mayor just enjoyed hurting and toying with people. Roy wouldn’t put it past him. And yet, no matter how hard they both tried they were drawn to each other, like a moth to a flame. It appeared nothing could keep them apart. Under normal circumstances he would be thrilled but they weren’t living in normal circumstances.

The fact he had intentionally lied to her just to push her away killed him. When only a few days ago, when Riza had told him it had become too much for her in the hospital, it felt like it would kill him if _she_ pushed him away.

He was a goddamn hypocrite and a liar.

But when Richard had shown up to his Aunt’s house half an hour ago and all but cornered Roy in the dining room there had been no other option to lie to her. He had been so happy to see Riza that he forgot his father was somewhere in the house, _listening_. There was no way he didn’t hear their conversations.

When Riza had dropped the bombshell real fear gripped him. He couldn’t be the reason she got hurt. He wouldn’t let it. He _had_ to tell her no, he told himself. To protect her.

“Yes,” he breathed, finally replying to Claire. He was a moron. His body sagged in defeat. The hands on him disappeared slowly. He was no longer a threat. Stumbling forward now that support was gone, he came to rest against the wall in the hallway. The anger he had just harboured towards that bastard left him in a rush, leaving him shaking. His left shoulder hit the wall painfully but Roy bore it. It was what he deserved. Leaning on it sent steady pain through his arm but Roy barely felt it. Not with the pain currently in his chest. He stared at the ground not seeing it. All that was in his mind’s eye was the anger and pain on Riza Hawkeye’s face.

“You _are_ a fucking idiot,” she spat, apparently not hearing Roy’s answer. “You love that woman, don’t you?” Claire narrowed her eyes dangerously at him. “ _Don’t you_?”

“Yes.”

“Then what the _fuck_ –?”

“Claire.” His voice broke while his true feelings were displayed on his face. It must have been intense because Claire stopped her tirade. But only for a moment.

“Let’s hope she knows you better than you think because not only are you a bastard, you are a terrible liar. You are going to fix this.” She pointed a well-manicured nail at him. It told him that if he didn’t she would very likely stab him with said nail.

It was a fate he deserved after what he had done.

“I saw how happy you were when Riza showed up today,” she continued while putting on her shoes with more force than was necessary. “I _saw_ the way you looked at her in the café that day. And, I also noted how often she visited you in the hospital.” Damn those visitor sign in sheets. “Pretty frequently for someone who is simply “just a neighbour” or “just a friend”. She has got it bad for you, and vice versa. Why did you even _do_ it?” Her tone held so much venom in it Roy winced.

“My father –”

“I don’t give a damn what _that_ bastard said. He has said a lot of things over the years. Ninety percent of it has been bullshit,” she stated matter-of-factly.

“He threatened Riza,” Roy growled, his brain finally stepping in to defend himself and his actions. He was not looking for an excuse, simply to be understood. And Claire’s yelling wasn’t helping the situation. “He sent Riza’s father after her. The man who _shot_ me! I need to keep her away from me and that raving lunatic to keep her safe! To keep her son safe!”

“And the way to do that is to intentionally hurt her?” Claire asked sceptically. “Great plan Roy. So tell me, when all this shit is over with dear old dad, do you think Riza is going to run into your arms after what you said today?”

He opened his mouth but no sound came out. He hadn’t planned that far ahead. Five sets of eyes focussed on him.  The conversation he and Riza had just shared had been impulsive. He had panicked upon remembering who was listening in. There was no planning involved in the slightest.

“I didn’t think so. You are going to fix this,” Claire threatened once more. “You are going to Havoc’s _right now_ and you are going to set things right. I won’t let you screw it up with this woman because, to be honest, she is too good for you. And you owe her that much.”

Roy was silent as she weighed Claire’s threat. He had no doubt he would drag him there kicking and screaming if she needed to. She had done it often enough when he was a kid.

God, he was tired of tiptoeing this line with Riza. She didn’t deserve this. After everything the woman had gone through she deserved to be happy. Not have somebody hurt her intentionally even if it was to protect her.

His shoulder throbbed in pain and his head pounded. Roy had yet to notice the blood seeping from under his bandages. Too much was going on in his head. He felt drained in every way possible. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. But Claire was right. He couldn’t leave things like this. He had hurt Riza, something he had tried to protect her against. He really was a bastard. It would have made him nauseous to associate himself with a word he used to frequently for his father but to be honest, after today, it was a fair assessment.

“Okay.”

“Get your coat,” she barked.

Half an hour later he was outside Havoc’s apartment building with Claire hanging onto his arm, her grip like iron on his forearm. Probably to make sure he didn’t try to run away.

No he wouldn’t do that. He owed Riza. He had hurt her and that in itself was unforgivable.

“Hey man,” Havoc greeted sombrely. There was no sympathy in his voice and a hardness in his eyes which didn’t surprise Roy. But it was civil because Claire was there.

Havoc had been recording the whole conversation between Roy and his father through Roy’s phone. The latter had called his partner to let him listen in through the device in his pocket. With Riza’s surprise visit Roy hadn’t ended the call. Havoc would have heard everything.

“Hey Claire,” he greeted his adoptive sister with less ice in his tone. “How are you? I haven’t seen you in months.”

“I am good Havoc,” Claire replied conversationally. “We were looking for Riza. Is she back?”

A knowing look on his face, Havoc’s gaze flicked back over to Roy. “No.” Roy paled. That worried him. She had left his Aunt’s forty minutes ago and it took fifteen minutes to drive here. Where was she? “She should have been back now.” Havoc’s statement echoed his own thoughts.

And Havoc’s tone suggested that if anything happened to her during that time, it would be Roy’s fault. The man willingly accepted that blame.

“Judging by your tone, you heard everything?” Havoc shot her a surprised look. Claire rolled her eyes. “Look who raised me. I know a thing or two about sneaking around. You two have been at it for months, and while I would say I feel like a proud big sister, it has come back to bite _this_ one,” she hooked a thumb at Roy. “In the ass. He’s here to make things right.” She shoved him forward forcefully so he stumbled. “Make sure he does.”

“Aye aye, captain,” Havoc saluted, his hard gaze returning to Roy once more as Claire re-entered her car and drove off. “She’s not back yet.” Havoc closed the door with more force than was required. “If anything has happened to her, Roy, because of what _you_ put in her head so help me God,” he growled. “I don’t care what your dad said or did. You didn’t need to do it like that.”

Visions of her lying at the edge of the road somewhere or stuck in a mangled up car flashed through his mind. His breath quickened as his panic built. No. That couldn’t happen. He couldn’t have left things like this between them. _No._

Roy choked on his own saliva before he spoke. “Believe me, Havoc, I know I am a bastard. Can you not rub it in right now?”

“No,” he snarled, rounding on his partner. A finger raised and pointed at his chest. “How _dare_ you say those things to Riza?” He shoved his right shoulder and Roy felt anger spike. “She has been through too much already. She has _suffered_ too much already. That woman deserves all the happiness in the world and here you come along and tread on it, just like that.” Havoc snapped his fingers to illustrate his point. “You intentionally hurt her, Roy, and I won’t stand for that. Not after everything I have watched her go through already. I won’t do it again.”

“I know!” Roy exploded, pain erupting in his shoulder as the blood thrummed through his body with his raging emotions. “I know I am an idiot but I couldn’t admit it. Not then.”

“So you fuck with her instead?” Havoc scoffed. “You are unbelievable.”

“You have seen what happens with the Mayor,” Roy snarled. “You _know_ what he is capable of. _He_ called her father. _He_ set him loose on her. The man tried to shoot and kill her! He shot me!” he exploded.

Havoc scoffed. “How do you know that? Don’t use that as an excuse.”

“I’m not! He admitted it before he left.”

“I had already heard enough by that point,” Havoc glared at him.

“Listen to it,” Roy demanded. “Listen to that recording and you will see _exactly_ why I did what I had to do.”

“I don’t need to listen to shit.”

“It is all in there! Both my father and her father have tried to kill her. And yet you still yell at me for pushing Riza away to protect her?”

“There are better ways to do it than that!”

“Enlighten me. What would you do in my situation then?”

“Fuck you, _Roy_. You do not deserve that woman and once you have sorted your shit out I want you out of my house. I want you away from Riza and away from James. You don’t deserve them.”

 _Fuck_. Havoc knew fine well why Roy had done what he did, had heard his father’s confession, yet he was still here throwing it back in his face? He had heard the conversations between him and his father. Havoc _knew_ that if his father suspected there was anything serious going on between him and Riza that he would put a stop to it. Permanently. All to get to Roy.

So he hurt Riza to push her away once and for all.

She would hate him it and Roy wouldn’t blame her. Hell, no one could hate him more than he hated himself right now. But at least she would be _safe_. She would be alive. And if she never wanted to talk to him again so be it. He loved her that much, Roy would be willing to sacrifice his own happiness if it meant her and James continued to breathe on this earth.

He had his chance. He should have moved against his father sooner, before they reached this stage, but he didn’t. He fucking didn’t. He sat on his ass and gathered more evidence for a case that was already strong. And for what? To hurt the woman he loved in a way she deeply feared someone would? In a way someone else already had?

He was worse than a bastard.

Fuck him and fuck his father.

Roy felt his back hit something solid. It must have been a wall. He slid down it, one knee bending while the other remained stretched out. He hit the floor hard, but didn’t register the pain.

Havoc scoffed and stalked out of the room.

When everything became too much he punched the floor. Hard. His left arm rattled in the sling, elbow banging against the wall behind him. Pain tore into his shoulder. After a moment he felt something warm and wet seep into his t-shirt around his shoulder.

Fucking excellent.

_Well done dickhead. You couldn’t have made your situation any worse but you just did._

He didn’t care.

He didn’t care because all he could feel was pain ripping into his chest. It left him breathless as tears rolled down his cheeks.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered to himself, to Havoc, to the woman he loved who wasn’t even here. His tears became shuddering sobs, echoing through Havoc’s empty apartment.

Another hour went by with nothing. Roy still hadn’t moved. His tears had dried, his shoulder throbbed and the blood had only recently clotted. The smell of the iron filled his nostrils, bringing the already present bile higher in his throat. Pain raged through his chest, his shoulder, his arm, his whole _body_.

Havoc was still nowhere to be seen.

“Shit,” the blonde detective muttered from somewhere to Roy’s left. Footsteps sounded as he walked away, then returned shortly afterwards. Roy didn’t acknowledge his presence. He continued to stare at the pile of pens and pencils which had been stacked at the edge of the fireplace. A blanket sat next to it, neatly folded. _The_ blanket. The same blanket Riza had been sitting on when he had arrived here from the hospital. When her worried gaze had drifted over his shoulder, her touch ghosting over his sling. If he breathed deeply enough he could almost smell her scent. It was torture but no less than he deserved.

“You are an idiot,” Havoc began softly. “But I get it.” Roy’s head turned slowly to face his partner. “You did it to protect Riza. I get it. It was a necessary evil. I know because when I think about it, I would have done the same for Becca.”

Slowly, Havoc pulled away the strap of Roy’s sling. Roy flinched, sucking in a breath at the pain. His jaw locked and his teeth ground together as Havoc continued to remove the sling as gently as he could. A slightly too-quick movement made Roy see stars. He sucked in a breath and panted in pain.

“Sorry,” Havoc murmured.

“Are you sure you aren’t doing that on purpose?” he panted, but there was a bleak amusement in his tone.

“I hope you don’t love this t-shirt too much because I’m going to need to cut the sleeve. It is drenched in blood anyway.”

“Do it,” he replied. His voice was hollow and sounded foreign to even his ears.

“Okay.” A few short moments later he was back and cutting up the sleeve if his shirt.

Havoc didn’t spare him a glance as he worked on cleaning the wound. “I was pissed at you Mustang but I am not some sick bastard that relishes in your pain.” He shot Roy an apologetic look. “Plus, you are a pain in the ass when you are injured anyway.” Havoc smirked. “The sooner you are right as rain, the better. So damn _needy_ ,” he joked before concentrating once more. He worked in silence for a few moments, concentrating on moving his t-shirt away from his gunshot wound so the fabric wouldn’t stick to it. The air bit at the skin, making it sting.

“I listened to the rest of the recording,” Havoc admitted quietly as he worked. “I can’t believe it.”

“Join the club.” Roy hissed in pain as Havoc pressed his gloved hands to the wound.

“When Riza’s opinion of you changes – and it will,” Havoc added, shooting Roy a pointed glance. “She will kick my ass if I injure you further so sit still.”

“She will probably kill me first,” Roy muttered, his head hitting the wall behind him hard. That pain was nothing compared to the one in his arm. He had definitely ripped his stitches. From the feel of it, he had stretched open the wound too.

Havoc chuckled. “Probably.”

“I deserve it.” Roy’s voice was hoarse from the wave after wave of pain crashing over him. Havoc worked quickly and reapplied the dressing. After the removal of the old one blood began to flow freely again. Havoc did his best to clean it up but he couldn’t staunch the flow. Giving up, Havoc sighed and reapplied his sling, mindful of the wound. Much to Roy’s dismay, it was even more painful reapplying the sling it because it needed to be tightened. He almost passed out.

Havoc sighed, sitting back on his heels. “You don’t deserve to die. This is by far the shittiest thing you have done in your life, sure. But you are one of the best dudes I know.” Surprise covered Roy’s sweat drenched face. “You have her best intentions, her _safety_ , at heart. I respect the hell out of you for that. You haven’t been stupid through this whole thing.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. She won’t speak to me again.” He panted, whimpering against the pain, his head finding the wall once more, but softer this time. His eyes closed as he tried to stop the world from spinning. “I hurt her in a way she has feared since James’ dad left her. I knew that and threw it right back in her face. I am despicable.” His tone was miserable and it matched his mood. A pathetic voice for a pathetic man.

“She loves you, dude. She will talk to you again. Just don’t fuck up the explanation. You can’t expect me to mother you all the time and fix your mess for you.” He grinned and winked. Havoc gently grasped him under his arms, hauling Roy to hit feet. The raven haired man swayed, stumbling into Havoc while his eyes remained closed. It was too much of an effort to open them now. If he did the world would spin, making him need to vomit.

Roy chuckled despite the pounding pain in his chest. “I fucked up. She won’t. And I don’t blame her. I had to do it though,” he whispered. He wanted to explain himself. He wanted Riza to know the truth. Even if she never spoke to him again, Roy wanted her to know he did it to protect her.

“Go on, Roy,” Havoc urged as they walked over to the couch. Roy was lowered gently and his ass all but groaned in relief from the comfort the soft cushions provided. It was numb after being on the floor for so long.

“I had to,” he whimpered again. His eyes were still squeezed shut against the pain but it just meant the tears leaked earlier than intended. Havoc gently but firmly eased him into a lying position. “My father was _there_. In the next room.” Tears flowed more freely but Roy wasn’t sure how. He felt hollow inside so where was all this emotion coming from? “He was listening to our conversation. If I admitted to her what I said then he would kill her. He had already tried.”

“I know, I heard him,” Havoc replied quietly from somewhere to Roy’s left. “I heard his confession of phoning Berthold. And you love her, don’t you?” Roy nodded. “You love Riza so you lied to her to keep her safe.”

“I had to,” he repeated in a murmur, his mind losing its grip on reality thanks to the pain. It had ebbed to a dull ache through his entire body. That wasn’t a good sign but Roy couldn’t bring himself to care. Nothing mattered to him right now. “I remember telling her, you know,” his voice was wistful as the memory of waking up on Christmas morning returned to him. He had been a mixture of thrilled, embarrassed, and terrified. “In the hospital and at my Aunt’s. I meant every word. I love her so much.” His body, as if to further prove his point, chose that moment to throb as one entity. He hissed in pain, eyes scrunching up.

“Easy,” Havoc soothed. “Just take a few while I get organised then we will get you to the hospital. That wound needs looked at.” Havoc didn’t wait for Roy’s response before continuing. “That is all the evidence we need to close this case, Roy.” He was moving around the room, no doubt getting ready to move him to the hospital. He heard the jingle of keys. “We have a clear confession of premeditated murder.” He sounded oddly excited but Roy couldn’t bring himself to feel the same way as his partner. Not now. Not when everything he had fought for up until this point had shattered when he lied to Riza.

“I was ready to kill him, Havoc,” Roy whispered. He gasped in pain, feeling himself slipping from consciousness. His words slurred. “I was going to kill him with my bare hands right there and then.”

“But you didn’t.”

“I kept seeing Riza in my mind. I kept thinking about what she would think about me killing him.” Roy swallowed. He was shaking now. “And the Mayor flaunted it in my face because he knew there was nothing I could do about it. And he probably knew that it would be done by the time I returned to work –” Roy choked on his own voice. Sheer panic had him fighting to sit up from his lying position, eyes flying open. “Havoc,” he panted. His gaze tried to find his partner’s but it took a while for him to focus. It didn’t help the world was spinning once more. “Where is she?” Panic swallowed him whole and Roy’s breaths became shorter.

He was having a panic attack.

“Easy,” Havoc soothed. “I’ll get her.”

“No.” Roy hauled himself up faster than he should of. “It isn’t _safe_ ,” he stressed. Why couldn’t Havoc see that? “We need to find her.” He stumbled as he stood, his words slurring even worse than before. Someone was holding onto his elbow but his mind was too jumbled to figure out who. It was still an effort to see. But he needed to find Riza. Images of her lying dead in front of his father crept into his mind unbidden and it was enough to take his breath away. The world spun one final time then he was falling.

“Roy!” Havoc grabbed his right arm, one hand against his chest to steady him.

Roy didn’t know if he hit the floor because he was unconscious before he hit anything. The last thing he heard was Havoc calling his name and shouting to someone about an ambulance.

* * *

Riza was frozen in the doorway for a good five minutes as she listened to Roy and Jean’s conversation. Like a deer caught in the headlights, she was trapped by the pain and defeat in Roy’s voice, the tears on his face. Was this all over her? Hope found its way into her chest as she listened on, rapt by how broken he sounded.

She had been angry leaving his Aunt’s house. So much so that it left no room for tears until she was about five minutes away from Havoc’s house. So she kept driving. She reached the outskirts of Central and parked somewhere secluded and cried.

She cried for the loss of the man she loved. She cried for the pain of not losing one, but two men the same way. Was she really that hard to love? Had she been cursed at birth so nobody would ever love her? Her mother had, she vaguely recalled. And Berthold had once. But now he hated her . _She_ was the reason her mother died. The man took great delight in drilling that into her as a child.

She had been through so much pain in her miserable life and she really didn’t want to do it again. The thought of James wasn’t even enough to perk her up. She kept thinking about how he had lost someone just as important to him. Roy had lied to her.

 _None of it had been real_.

That hurt the most. Six months ago they had clicked and James had come to adore her neighbour. And today he had nonchalantly tore her world apart like it was nothing.

Roy Mustang was a bastard.

If he ever came near her again she would tear out his throat.

Riza sniffed and rubbed her face, willing the tears away.

He would not get to hurt her anymore. He would not get to hurt her son. Roy wouldn’t even get _near_ her son again. No more tears would be wasted on a man in Riza’s life. That much she was sure about.

She was fucking sick of crying over men. Matt leaving her, her father abusing her, Roy lying to her. Fuck them. Fuck them all. She was too good for all of them and they didn’t deserve her.

Riza wasn’t stupid, she knew not to drive angry. So she stewed in her car for half an hour before she felt calm enough to drive.

But walking into Jean’s apartment and hearing their conversation… All her vows from sitting in her car went out the window. It took her ability to breathe with it.

A broken man lay on Jean’s couch. She watched, her own pain like a lead weight in her chest, as Roy let Jean push him down into a lying position. The blonde man caught her presence and put his fingers to his lips, letting Roy continue his confession. This was something he needed to admit to and she needed to hear.

The Mayor had been in Roy’s Aunt’s house while she was there. Roy had known this. He had lied to her to throw him off their trail. She wondered if it had worked.

 “He was listening to our conversation. If I admitted to her what I said then he would kill her. He had already tried.”

Riza’s heart stopped. She gasped, not so much in fear for herself, but in fear of leaving James behind without her.

“I know, I heard his confession of phoning Berthold,” Jean replied quietly. His gaze flicked worriedly over to Riza, still frozen in the doorway.

_What?_

“And you love her, don’t you?” His voice was soft, as if coaxing the answer from the injured man in his couch. Roy nodded. “You love Riza so you lied to her to keep her safe.”

“I had to.” Riza had to strain to hear him. She stepped further into the room, anticipation prickling her skin in response to waiting for his answer. Her breath was baited. He groaned in pain and the sound shot through her heart painfully. Why was there blood on his shirt? _Why was he in so much pain?_ “I remember telling her, you know. In the hospital and at my Aunt’s.” His voice was wistful, far away. Riza stepped forward, but it was more of a stumble. Jean rose from his perch on the coffee table and reached to stable her.

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly and worriedly. Riza must have nodded – she didn’t remember doing so – because Jean returned his attention to Roy. Her grip remained on her elbow which she was grateful for. It was the only thing keeping her upright.

“I meant every word,” Roy continued. His words were slurred. “I love her so much,” he whimpered then hissed loudly in pain.

His pain felt like an extension of her because Riza felt the sound tear at her chest. His words filled her mind, stuffing in her head like cotton wool. Her breath caught and tears fell.

“Easy,” Havoc soothed, returning to his side to check him over. Riza watched him grimace at the state of his shoulder. Creeping forward quietly, Riza flinched herself at the site of it. Blood had seeped through the bandages and the skin surrounding it was inflamed, angrily protesting the wound that had been placed upon it. Sweat coated Roy’s skin to give it a bright sheen. His face was pale and he didn’t look healthy _at all_. “Just take a few while I get organised then we will get you to the hospital. That wound needs looked at.”

Jean approached her, speaking lowly. “I need you to grab his bag. It is in the kitchen.” Riza barely heard Jean. Her gaze was fixed on Roy’s gasps of pain and his heaving chest. It was like he wasn’t able to get enough _air_ –

“Riza,” Jean commanded, dragging her attention away. “Can you do that for me?” She nodded. “That is all the evidence we need to close this case, Roy,” Jean continued, grabbing his wallet and car keys. “We have a clear confession of premeditated murder.”

That made Riza’s blood run cold.

“I was ready to kill him, Havoc,” Roy whispered, gasping in pain. His words slurred again. “I was going to kill him with my bare hands right there and then.”

“But you didn’t.”

“I kept seeing Riza in my mind. I kept thinking about what she would think about me killing him.” Riza swallowed as panic laced through her. He couldn’t kill someone because of her. She was ready to walk right back in there and tell him not to be so _stupid_ but Roy continued. “And the Mayor flaunted it in my face because he knew there was nothing I could do about it. And he probably knew that it would be done by the time I returned to work –”

He stopped and appeared to be choking. As Riza approached once more his eyes were open but unseeing. Jean edged in beside her, checking Roy’s temperature and checking his wound.

“Where is she?” The sheer panic in his voice made Riza freeze.

“Roy,” she began but it was no use. He was panicking. This wasn’t good. “I’m here.” He didn’t seem to hear her.

“Easy,” Havoc soothed. “I’ll get her.” He shot her a look that told her to get moving. Before either could stand, Roy was upright, attempting to stand. He moved like a blind man, fumbling his way to standing position but purpose was there.

“No. It isn’t _safe_ ,” he stressed, worry in his voice He swayed on his feet and Riza grabbed his elbow to steady him. “We need to find her.” He stumbled forward and Riza’s grip on his elbow tightened.

Then he was falling.

“Roy!” Havoc steadied him by placing a hand on his chest. “Riza start the car,” he ordered. She was loath to leave Roy’s side. “We don’t have time to wait on an ambulance.”

Déjà vu flitted through her, drawing her back to the last time she had rushed to the hospital with this man.

How could she think he was being serious?

Well, she had no reason to believe he was lying. The carelessness on his face had been a damn good act.

If only he had _told_ her, signalled to her, that his father was listening in. She would have understood. Might even have played it up a little.

Who was she kidding? He couldn’t say anything. She wouldn’t have played it up. From what she had heard the Mayor was probably already going to hurt her before even mentioning it to Roy today. He had been right. The Mayor knew Roy could do nothing about it. Fear shot through her at the thought of being targeted. Everything they had worked towards for the last few months – avoiding each other, squashing down feelings – had been for nought anyway.

 _But nothing had happened yet_.

She needed to remember that.

Gently Riza and Jean eased his limp frame into the back of Jean’s car. She strapped on the seatbelt and took up the place next to him. His head lolled back and to the left, dangerously close to his injured shoulder. Gently, she shifted it over to his right. The skin was drenched under her hands and felt cool and clammy. His hair stuck to his forehead. But his head found her shoulder and Riza grasped his hand tightly. Her own tears fell silently as they drove but she never let go. She had done so once and wouldn’t do it again.

“It was stress induced,” Doctor Johnson told them after checking Roy over. He seemed to know Roy and Jean as there was a casual way in which he spoke to the blonde detective. “The stitches were stretched due to excessive force and the wound opened.” His gaze found Jean once more, removing it from the chart in front of him. A frown graced his aging face. “It was left open for some time. Mr. Mustang should have been brought here as soon as it happened.”

“Something… happened,” Jean explained. He shifted from one foot to the other. “We got here as soon as we could.”

The doctor huffed, clearly not impressed by the answer. “Well whatever happened I hope it was worth it.” He flipped the page over. “Because the wound was open for so long it was subject to infection. We are running tests right now to determine if there actually _is_ an infection. I am optimistic but we will need to wait.”

 _Infection_ … Riza hugged her body tighter, hands fisting in her t-shirt. If she had spoken up instead of letting Roy explain himself then he wouldn’t be in this mess. What had caused him to stretch his stitches though?

“The damage to the knuckles are superficial and will heal within a few days. I will be back in an hour to see if he has woke up. If he does beforehand just tell a nurse and she will come and fetch me.”

“Will do Doc. Thank you.”

Doctor Johnson nodded and left them in the empty corridor.

Riza let out a shaky breath. She ran her hands through her hair, fisting them at the scalp as if she could wring the worry out of her body that way.

“He will be okay,” Jean reassured her while wrapping his arms around her body. She bowed her head against his chest, closing her eyes. Jean’s chin rested atop her head and his grip tightened. Breathing in his scent Riza willed herself to calm down. Jean was safety. He was comfort and the feeling of home. _He would make sure Roy got better_ , she thought childishly. _Because he always makes things better for her_. “That lucky bastard has been through worse than this,” he chuckled. “Are you okay?” he asked suddenly, pulling away to look at her face.

“I don’t know,” she told him truthfully. No other words came to her so she simply said nothing more.

They both eased themselves into chairs that had been placed outside Roy’s room while the nurses worked their magic. Jean’s arm wrapped around her shoulders.

“That was quite a rollercoaster of emotion you were on for a while there.” Riza shot him a look that said _no shit_. Havoc smirked. “I know. But it is all true, what Roy said.” Her heart constricted painfully in her chest. “I heard the whole conversation both with the Mayor and with you.” His free hand clenched into a fist on his lap. “I was ready to punch Mustang in the face when he showed up at the apartment. Claire tore into him too,” he chuckled. “That woman is a force to be reckoned with. It’s a wonder Roy survived his childhood.”

“Childhood?”

“Mustang’s Aunt adopts a lot of kids. Claire is his older sister. Not biologically, but the two grew up together. From what I have heard from her, her younger brother was a pain in the ass as a kid.” He laughed to himself. “Nothing has changed there.”

“Oh.” _Oh._

You are an idiot Riza.

“You didn’t know?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

She shrugged. “He never told me.”

She supposed she might feel slightly hurt by that fact but so much had happened between them in such a short space of time that no wonder the subject had never been brought up. Riza felt like she had been through the ringer.

“This is all such a mess,” she muttered to herself. Elbows found her knees and the head was buried in her hands. She felt like laughing. “Fucking story of my life.”

Havoc rubbed her back in comfort.

“Come on,” he murmured. “Let’s go see him.”

Bracing herself for the sight, Riza nodded.

Roy’s eyes were closed as he slept in the bed. There were dark circles under his eyes and he looked pale. _Too_ pale. His wound had been dressed but there was a small circle of blood on the stark white bandage. His chest was bare, the bandage extending across it and around his back. It gave them both a good view of his skin, which was no longer drenched in sweat, but it still didn’t look its normal colour.

Jean lingered in the doorway as Riza made her way over to the man she loved. Despite the pain he had been in the last time she had seen him, he looked so peaceful in sleep. It took her back to a time where she had picked up James from him apartment and she had found him asleep.

Unable to help herself she brushed his hair from his forehead.

Her heart hurt to think that she had no idea what was going on his head. He was obviously hurting physically, but what about emotionally? He had been a wreck in Jean’s apartment. All over her. It was clear he regretted what he said to her at his Aunt’s house. That much was clear from his strangled confession.

He was such an idiot, she thought fondly as tears fell once more. But he was her idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you merely adopted the angst i was born in it molded by it  
> okay so i know there was a bit of repetition in this chapter but OF COURSE you had to read it from riza perspective  
> i couldn't not include it


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted to try something different with this chapter (which has also been implemented into future chapters too!) and that was to add in a part from James' pov. he is just as important as roy and riza in this story so i wanted to write events as he would see them  
> again, thank you so so much to everyone who has read and left comments, reviews, and asks on tumblr! i aim to reply back to them tonight since i've not had the time these past few days  
> ALSO AMAZING FANART ALERT so caesurables on tumblr made some incredible fanart based on chapter 16 so go and check it out! all their work is honestly /chef's kiss/

When Aunt Becca told James that Mum was at the hospital she was scared. Fear flitted through him and gripped his heart at the thought of her being hurt. Was she okay? What had happened? He had asked his Aunt but she looked unsure herself. She didn’t answer his question. James wasn’t stupid. It was the same way adults spoke to him when they didn’t want to tell him the truth. Something bad had happened and Aunt Becca didn’t want him to know.

“Something bad has happened, hasn’t it?” he asked her.

Aunt Becca jumped slightly from the driver’s seat. She met his gaze in the rear view mirror. “Why do you say that?”

“Because you didn’t answer my question. Adults do that when they are scared and don’t want to tell me the truth.” Aunt Becca sighed but he didn’t know why. This was getting really scary now. “Please tell me,” he begged. His voice wobbled and he felt the tears creep up into his eyes. But James pushed it down. If Mum was hurt then she didn’t need to see him upset. He needed to be a big boy and be brave because she would already be upset and seeing him cry would make her even more upset.

“I don’t know what has happened.” She turned a corner and from his seat James saw the hospital get closer. He was starting to not like the building. The last time had been here Roy had been hurt and now his Mum might be hurt in the same place.

But the doctors did make Roy better. It had been scary to see him in that bed with the big sling on his arm and all the machines beeping. James shuddered at the memory.

“Jean just called me and told me to meet him here. Something happened between Riza and Roy.” Her voice seemed far away and James noticed Aunt Becca didn’t call them by their proper names. James sometimes forgot that his Mum had a name and it wasn’t just “Mum”. He had only really begun to notice when they met Roy. He called her Riza. Aunt Becca and Uncle Jean called her “your Mum” when he was around.

Worry coiled in James’ stomach, making him uncomfortable.

He gripped Aunt Becca’s hand tightly as they walked through the corridors. She asked a doctor where his Mum and Roy were. They spoke quietly, probably not to scare him, but James’ attention was somewhere else. He stared around the corridor. Nurses and doctors smiled at him when they caught him staring, but their faces turned very serious when they looked away. A loud beeping noise started further down the corridor. People began to run around them, but not the doctor Aunt Becca was talking to. James peeked around the doctor to watch them all run. He thought about how they looked cool and like superheroes as they ran to help someone who was hurt.

They began to walk and James almost fell because he wasn’t paying attention. Aunt Becca wasn’t paying attention. Her hand gripped his tighter and his squashed his fingers. But from the worried look on her face and the way she was chewing her lip James knew better than to complain.

They stopped outside a room in a quiet corridor. Aunt Becca kneeled down to his eye level, capturing his attention.

“Can you wait out here for me, bud? I want to check that everyone is okay first before you go in.” Her eyes searched his face. James knew she didn’t want him to see anything that might frighten him. So he nodded. He didn’t want to be frightened again.

Aunt Becca ruffled his hair with a weird looking smile and entered the room. The door closed behind her and seemed to echo down the empty hallway. James looked around, as if trying to follow the sound but it was gone quickly. He swung his legs in the chair. While sitting on his hands his butt was far enough back in the chair that his feet didn’t meet the floor. Whenever he would get upset he would swing his legs. The longer he sat by himself the faster they swung.

He jumped in fright when the door opened next to him. He grinned when he spotted Mum, happy to finally see her, but his face fell and the worry in his stomach gripped it painfully.

She had been crying. Her eyes were all red. The sight made his own tears prick at his eyes. Whenever his Mum cried he always cried and he didn’t know why. It wasn’t often but it still happened and he didn’t like seeing her upset.

“Hey baby,” she greeted quietly, scooping him up into her arms. His legs automatically tightened around her waist and his arms hugged her neck tightly. He pressed his face into her shoulder, his tears wetting his t-shirt. “Are you okay?” Mum asked.

He nodded against her. “Why have you been crying? Are _you_ okay?”

She smiled despite tears running down her cheeks. “I am all right. I just had a bit of a scare that’s all.”

“I thought you were hurt,” he whispered.

“I wasn’t.” She took a deep breath. “Roy was though.” James froze. He pulled away ant looked at Mum.

No. Roy _can’t_ be hurt. Not again! He isn’t allowed to get hurt. He is supposed to be there and help him and Mum if they need it.

“Has someone shot him again?” he gasped, tears jumping to his eyes anew. The picture of Granddad shooting him popped into his head and made him feel sick.

But Mum shook her head. “No. He hasn’t been shot. His sore shoulder was hurt though so he is here to get it all fixed up.”

“So he is okay?” He bit his lip. Mum always told him not to do it but he couldn’t help it. She must have been worried because she didn’t tell him off. Really worried.

“He is going to be okay. He is getting better already.”

“Can I see him?” He wanted to see his friend to see if he really was okay. He peered into the window to Roy’s room, trying to see around the closed blinds.

Mum shook her head. “He is asleep so he won’t be much fun to talk to right now. But we will wait until he wakes up if you want?”

James nodded quickly. He didn’t want to leave if Roy was hurt. 

* * *

 

Pain enveloped Roy’s shoulder. That was the first thing he registered. Then it spread down to his elbow and across his chest. But it was nothing compared to the black hole in his chest. It almost made him gasp.

Blinking open his eyes blearily he found he was not where he expected to be. He was… in a hospital room?

It was different from the last time he had been here. Instead of his shoulder being a dull ache it was on fire. Now, he was consumed with pain both from his shoulder and in his chest. It choked him. A fitting punishment for what he had inflicted upon the woman he loved.

Roy looked towards the door, finding the room empty. Then, he turned to his right but hissed in pain as the movement pulled at the muscles connected to his throbbing shoulder.

Fucking great. Back here again.

 _It’s all your fault this time_ , a voice berated him.

 _I know_ , was his miserable reply.

“Hey sleeping beauty,” Havoc greeted as he poked his head around the door. He stepped through and Roy watched him, still feeling miserable. He remembered their argument. He shouldn’t have shouted at Havoc like that. He had been well justified in what he had said to him. Havoc was only looking out for his friend, someone he saw as a sister, and Roy had come along and hurt her in a way she had always feared experiencing again.

His hate for himself seemed to grow, if that was even still possible.

But what really made his heart stop was Riza Hawkeye walking through the door behind him.

Havoc was quickly forgotten as he took in her worried face, red eyes, and wet cheeks.

She should be angry. She should be ready to kill him.

But she was worried?

He didn’t deserve her worry.

James clung to her side, his own eyes red and puffy.

“You’ve got some visitors,” Havoc announced. “Feeling up to it?”

No. He didn’t want to feel her wrath right now. He knew he was a piece of shit let’s just leave it at that until his head stopped thumping and it felt like he could breathe again. Then he would let Riza tear into him with everything she had.

But he nodded because he was a masochist, he supposed.

“Roy?” James asked in a small voice. “Are you okay?” He crept around the foot of the bed. His eyes worriedly shot to his left shoulder. “Mum said you got hurt again.”

He fought every urge in his body to look at the woman he loved right at that moment. The pain in his chest and the regret flooding his body told him he didn’t have the right to do so anyway.

“I did,” he replied. Voice hoarse, James grimaced at the sound.

“You have to get better, okay?” he told him. Well, practically demanded. There was determination on his face which would have warmed Roy’s heart if he still had one. Instead of the organ there was just a gaping hole. Instead he fought the urge to grimace. “You promised you would.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I let you down.” And he meant it in every way. He meant it in the way the child didn’t even know. His voice cracked. “I let everyone down.”

“That’s okay,” James reassured him. A tentative hand reached for Roy’s own and James patted it. “Just get better this time. Promise?”

Not trusting himself to speak, the man simply nodded. Little did the child know this was probably the last time he would even see him. It made him wonder why Riza was even here. Roy still couldn’t bring himself to look at her. He gave up that luxury when he lied to her and hurt her at Chris’.

“Uncle Jean said he would take us to get something to eat for lunch but we will be back,” James promised, walking over to his mother.

“I don’t think that is wise, James,” Roy rasped.

The boy frowned. “Why not?”

The man didn’t have an answer for him. Not in a way he would understand.

“Come on sweetheart,” Riza urged softly. “Let’s let him rest for now.”

James nodded and the pair disappeared once more.

So, that was their goodbye.

Brief and clinical.

Not for the first time in the last six months, Roy felt his future walk out of the door with them. Along with his reason for breathing.

He didn’t realise until Riza left that he would be lost without her. He needed her in his life like he needed the air he breathed to keep him alive. For the last three months he had been strong as hell to keep her at arms-length. He didn’t realise he had it in him. It wasn’t until now that she was gone that he realised how easy he had it. Every time she seemed upset he had wanted to wrap her in his arms and whisper that everything would be okay. But he had to remain a step outside of that.

When her father aimed the gun at Riza he didn’t think twice about stepping in the way. If the bastard shot her, Roy wouldn’t have been able to handle it. Also, where would that leave James? His mother would be bleeding out on the floor. The kid couldn’t be traumatised like that. He loved her so much Roy would willingly take that bullet for her to protect her and her family. She had found her way into his heart like that with her lovely smiles and dry sense of humour. She was wonderful, both in beauty and in mind.

Now his world had crumbled. He had pushed her away once and for all. Now he realised just how much he loved her. If he hadn’t felt so numb already he would feel crushed under the weight of the revelation.

It was time to let her go.

To keep her safe.

To keep her _alive_.

A few rogue tears escaped from underneath his lids at he lay back carefully on the pillows. It hurt to breathe. Eyes closed and lost in his self-destructive thoughts, he didn’t hear the door open again softly.

“Oh, Roy,” Riza whispered from his right side.

He jumped in fright, head snapping to the right. Again, the quick movement pulled at his abused muscles and he groaned in pain. Riza soothed him and lay him back on the pillow, her fingers brushing his hair away from his face. Her hand stroked his head in such a way he craved but knew he didn’t deserve. He felt pathetic when he realised he craved her touch so much.

“Why are you here?” he asked miserably.

“Because I couldn’t leave you.”

“Why? I don’t deserve your kindness.”

“I heard what you said to Jean,” she whispered. Her hand lowered from his forehead to his own hands. She grasped the right one tightly. _She heard everything_. “I heard you admit to lying.” Roy’s stomach clenched uncomfortably. “I didn’t realise your father was in the house when I arrived.”

Silence reigned.

“You did it to protect me. To protect James.”

It wasn’t a question, more of a prompt, but Roy treated it as such. He still didn’t feel deserving of forgiveness but he promised himself to give her an explanation. So this was it.

“Of course I did.” There was no question he was doing it for another reason. “I couldn’t let him get to you. If something had happened…” he trailed off, not even wanting to entertain the thought. Something had already happened, but Havoc must have left out the part of his father calling Riza’s. _She_ had been the target that night. The thought made bile rise in his throat.

 After a shuddering breath a hand squeezed his. “But it is too late now anyway. It’s done.” Roy tried to extract his hand from hers – it didn’t feel right to sit there anymore – but Riza gripped it tighter.

She took a deep breath and let it out in a rush. The air brushed over his skin, making the hairs on his arms rise. She had that effect on him with everything she did. It was like their souls were tied together. It was cheesy as hell but Roy couldn’t think of another way to explain that bond they shared. When he noticed the distressed look on her face when she first entered the room behind Havoc, Roy felt that distress too. When that pained expression covered her face at Chris’ he shared that pain too.

“Thank you,” she breathed.

“Look, if you want to go I won’t stop you.” Her gaze lifted slowly to his. “I don’t blame you either. If you want to scream and yell, even punch me in the face, then go for it.”

Her lips quirked up to almost a smile. “Don’t tempt me,” she murmured but there was a twinkle of amusement in her eyes. Wait… “I don’t want to do any of those things. I just want you to get better.

“You hurt me today,” she whispered, face sobering.

Roy nodded in agreement. “I know. I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”

“Let me finish,” she admonished. “I can’t get hurt like that again,” Riza stated, her own shimmering eyes casting their gaze down towards their hands. “I won’t be hurt again like that again. Especially not by you.”

“Riza…”

“But you did it to protect me. To protect my son. To be honest, it was an awkward situation anyway. I truly believe you tried to make the best of a bad situation.” Her lips quirked up once more but not quite reaching her eyes. “But I don’t think anyone has ever loved me so much to do something like this. No one has ever cared enough, outside Jean and Rebecca.”

“I love you so much,” he whispered. “I couldn’t admit the truth because he was _there_.” He was desperate to get that point across. Even if she did leave right now, she needed to understand that. If she hated him until her dying breath, that was fine. As long as she understood the severity of said “bad situation”. “He would have heard everything. I had one last chance to keep you safe and I took it. Consequences be damned because you mean that much to me.” He swallowed. “All of this would have been no use if you were dead. I am not making excuses. I don’t deserve to get the chance to make you understand. But if I can try, I will.”

Riza stood and gestured for him to move over on the bed. Confused, he did so. Carefully though because his shoulder still ached. She climbed in, to his shock. There wasn’t really enough room. Gingerly, she lifted his good arm and lay down underneath it. He had no choice but to wrap it across her back to rest on her right shoulder.

Riza continued to move cautiously, watchful of the bandages across his bare chest, as she lay her head on it. A hand splayed across said bandages. It was cool which offered some relief from the burning in his shoulder. All Roy could do was stare as she moved, too stunned.

“I have a lot to think about now.”

“That’s fair,” he whispered, the lump in his throat making it extremely difficult to speak. And it was. He had hurt her. Like he had already told her, he didn’t expect forgiveness.  “Whatever you decide, I am with you. Even if it isn’t with me.” His voice cracked. “At least you will be alive.

“I will end this Riza. I swear to you, I will make things right. I just need more time.” He was ready to move against his father. Like Havoc said, they had the evidence now. She sighed against him. He was unhappy with that too. It felt like they had both been waiting far too long to be happy together. _Truly_ happy together. And here he was asking Riza to wait even longer. “I know I have no right to ask you that. Not after today. And if you do want to go I won’t stop you. I would think you were crazy if you stayed.” She smacked his chest lightly, playfully. “You deserve so much better.”

“What I deserve is _you_.” The hand on his chest tightened into a fist. “Outside of my very small family you are the only one who has ever loved and cared for me like this. You have opened me up to the possibility of loving again. _You_ did that.” She contemplated a thought. “I knew getting into this with you wouldn’t be plain sailing. It was evident from our conversation regarding your father. But I accepted that risk because I love _you_. Yes, I want to protect my son. That boy means the world to me. But,” she paused, taking a deep breath. “Even after everything that has happened, you mean the world to me too.” A wry smile spread over her lips. “I am committed now so I may as well be in it for the long haul, crazy father’s threats and all.”

He really _didn’t_ deserve this incredible woman. Roy lay there, dumbstruck as tears fell down his cheeks. Sniffing, he wiped them away with his good hand.

“I really thought that was it,” she whispered fearfully, the smile dropping from her face like a lead weight.

“I’m sorry,” was his choked reply, tears escaping once more.

“Don’t beat yourself up too much. I understand. You did what you had to do.”

“Don’t ever doubt that I love you too, okay?” he whispered into her hair. “I love you so much that the thought of a man pointing a gun at you or someone threatening to end your life nearly kills _me_. I struggle to breathe. And I know I have my own shit to deal with.” His mother’s face flashed in his mind. “But like I said before, I won’t put you both in harm’s way.”

“Like I did with you,” she replied bitterly.

Roy squeezed her shoulder again, his reply fierce. “No you didn’t. I was doing my job. That’s why you called me, right?”

“I trusted you to come in and help us.” The reply was whispered, as if Riza was finally admitting it to herself. She curled into his side. “I knew you would.”

“I will spend the rest of my life trying to make today up to you, Riza. I promise. Starting with my father. If there is a threat on the life of a civilian from him then the police have to listen to it. Since we have it on tape it will make it even easier.”

Her hand stilled its exquisite movements against the skin on his chest.

“There is nothing to forgive,” she whispered, sighing against his skin.

“There is _everything_ to forgive,” he stressed. He had a lot of work to do to win back this woman’s favour. He would not take a second chance lightly.

She shook her head. “Like I said, I knew what I was getting into. I knew there was a possibility of getting hurt like this in order to cover up our relationship. I was just… unprepared for it. That’s all.”

“I said some hurtful things,” he warned her. If anything now it felt like he was still pushing her away, and Roy knew Riza was aware of that. But he wasn’t above giving her one last chance to walk away from him to some life where she could be loved without the fear of some unknown threat hanging over her.

“And I was too emotional to see through it and notice the cues,” she retorted, disappointment creeping into her tone. “I just didn’t expect it and all those old feelings resurfaced at once. It was like a volcano erupting and I had no control over it. There’s nothing to forgive. Please don’t apologise again,” she replied desperately. There was even a hint of amusement in her tone. “If you apologise one more time I am going to stop accepting apologies from you from now on,” she smirked while repeating his own words back to him.

He laughed through those tears, wiping them away. “I really don’t deserve you.”

“I know,” she grinned, craning her head to kiss his jaw. “Just get some rest so we can leave here.”

“We?” he asked cautiously. Did he dare to hope…?

“Jean and Rebecca will take James home soon. You didn’t think I would actually leave you, did you?”

“Well… Yes.”

Setting her head down once more, Riza sighed. “You are stuck with me Roy Mustang and you are going to have to learn to deal with it.” A pause. “Do you think he knew I was coming?”

The thought stabbed fear into his stomach, the conversation taking a more serious turn. Sucking in a breath, he exhaled slowly. “I don’t know.”

Her head moved to his shoulder which was probably a more comfortable position. “Let’s not dwell on that right now. Just… _Please_ be careful.”

He kissed the top of her head once more. “For you? Always.”

“I don’t want to watch the man I love almost die again. Once is quite enough for one lifetime.”

* * *

A sense of peace washed over Riza as the pair finally stopped talking. She was exhausted. So much had happened in the space of a couple of hours. She had whiplash from the change in the relationship status with her and Roy. Not that there was much of a chance of a relationship right now. Not without Richard Mustang sniffing about where he wasn’t welcome.

They loved each other. Not the declaration she expected, she thought to herself dryly, but it was out there now. There was no taking it back. If she had to wait until the mess with his father was over with before anything happened then she would. She loved him that much that she would do that for Roy.

What she had experienced with Matt wasn’t love. Not really. It was a childish love and hadn’t blossomed into anything proper. It was nothing compared to what she felt now. Although, he never really gave it the chance to. Riza frowned at that. But, if she still was with Matt she may have never met Roy. She wouldn’t be as close to Jean and Rebecca because they would have both moved to Central and left her in the east.

When Roy dozed off Riza edged her way out of the bed. Upon the movement, the hand around her shoulder tightened and pulled her closer. Riza smiled to herself, thrilled he was so responsive to her even in sleep. Those pesky butterflies in her stomach were having a field day. But she extracted herself from his grip nonetheless. She needed to see to James and the doctor would be back soon to check up on his patient.

She still had some things to consider but as far as she was concerned, Roy was forgiven. He did what he had to do to keep her out of the line of fire. After thinking it through she knew she would probably do the same if the situation was reversed.

Her son was lying on the floor of the hallway. He looked like he was making a snow angel, something he was fond of when they went skiing up north. Riza frowned, but she couldn’t help but smile at his antics, glad for the distraction after this incredibly emotionally heavy day. “James?” she asked, her tone signalling the laughter she was trying to keep in. “What are you doing?”

“I am bored,” he stated.

“And lying on the floor because…?”

“Bored.”

Riza chuckled. She held out a hand which he grasped tightly. Hauling her son to her feet she couldn’t help but dust off the back of his t-shirt and trousers. They were surprisingly clean but she couldn’t help it.

“Where is Uncle Jean?”

“Speaking to the doctor. I don’t think he is very happy with Uncle Jean.”

“Why?”

“He wouldn’t let him in the room. He said you were talking to Roy about something.” _Did he now?_ While the gesture was appreciated the man had to get in and treat Roy’s wound. “Aunt Becca is with him too.”

“Okay. Do you want to go in and see Roy?”

“Is he asleep?” James peeked around her to the door which was still cracked open.

“He is.”

“Again?” he complained. “I want to talk to him!”

Riza chuckled. A thought occurred to her. “Old men need to get their sleep remember?” James giggled.

“He told me he wasn’t that old. He’s only a few years older than you.”

“Ah, see, that is why he is old. Anyone older than me is _very_ old.”

James giggled once more and it lifted Riza’s spirits.

“You are worse than me,” Jean commented with a grin. Rebecca walked beside him, her own smile on her face. “I see I have taught you well. The student becomes the master.” 

* * *

 

James rode back home with Uncle Jean and Aunt Becca. Mum stayed at the hospital and would take care of Roy for a while before coming home. They wouldn’t be long, she said. And James was bored and hungry and wanted out of the funny smelling building. He wrinkled his nose at the memory of the scent. Uncle Jean had promised to get him some food but the kitchen was closed right now so he only had a packet of crisps. His tummy rumbled.

“Okay,” Aunt Becca announced, turning the volume down on the radio. “Operation Idiot One and Idiot Two is a go.” There was a grin on her face which made James happy. She had been so sad looking earlier and he didn’t like it. He didn’t think he had _ever_ seen Aunt Becca sad.

Uncle Jean laughed. “Very appropriate name,” he commented as he drove them home. “Please inform our newest agent of the tasks ahead.”

Aunt Becca turned in her seat and grinned at him. James was very confused. What were they talking about?

“Who is Idiot One?” he asked, his forehead crinkling.

“Roy.” He didn’t like that. “It is a bit of fun James. Don’t worry.”

“Okay,” he agreed uncertainly. He still didn’t like it. “Who is Idiot Two?”

“Mum.”

His frown deepened. His Mum wasn’t an idiot!

“ _Very_ appropriately named,” Uncle Jean laughed.

“I don’t like Mum being called an idiot. That’s a bad word.”

“Okay,” Aunt Becca said slowly. She brought a hand to her chin and looked like she was thinking. “An idiot is another word for someone who is being very silly,” she explained. “And they are being very silly.”

“How?”

“Well.” She looked to her left and right, the volume of her voice dropping low. She was almost whispering but not quite. James leaned forward in his seat to hear her. “This is top secret, okay? To stay a secret agent you can’t tell _anyone_. Okay?”

Determination set in his face. “Okay.” He could keep a secret. He was really good at it! He still kept the secret that Jessica had wet the bed when he had been at a sleepover at her house and that had been ages ago. Even Mum didn’t know!

“Promise?” Aunt Becca asked, a warning in her voice. It was the same voice Mum used when she didn’t really believe him.

He nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah. I promise!” This was exciting! He was going to be a secret agent! He loved playing that game with Aunt Becca. Usually they did it to play a joke on Uncle Havoc. He liked it because he could pretend he had a big sister when they played.

“Pinky promise?”

 _Oh_. That was a very important promise. James nodded. He couldn’t break one of them!

Aunt Becca held out her pinky finger and James grasped it with his own. This must be very important if he needs to do a pinky promise.

“Okay. That’s settled. This is the case, Agent James.”

He giggled at his new title. He liked it!

“Idiot One – Roy – and Idiot Two – Mum – are being _very_ silly. They like each other _a lot_. Now, when people like each other a lot like they do they become boyfriend and girlfriend.” James felt excited at that. He wanted Roy to become Mum’s girlfriend. Because if they did they could get married and Roy would be his Dad. That would be awesome! “But, there is a big bad guy who keeps them apart.” James face fell. “He is not nice so they can’t get together. Well, not _yet_.”

Aunt Becca’s eyes began to twinkle like stars. It was the same way they did when they were going to play a joke on Uncle Havoc. Well, that was what Mum said when Aunt Becca looked like that. James still hadn’t been able to see any little stars in her eyes and he looked really hard.

“Who is the bad guy?” James asked fiercely. He wouldn’t the man stop his Mum from being happy!

“Ahhh…” Aunt Becca looked at Uncle Havoc.

“That is _top_ secret. Even we don’t know,” Uncle Havoc told him. “It is very secret. Need to know _only_ ,” he added, tapping his nose.

“Right!”

“So, when we get home, I need your help to set up a few things. They might not be able to get together for a while but for tomorrow night, since it is New Year, we can have a bit of fun. It will make them happy.”

“Well if it makes them happy then I will help!”

“Excellent,” Aunt Becca exclaimed with a clap of her hands and a funny sounding laugh that made James giggle. “I will explain everything when we are home.”

Excitement flooded through his body. This would be awesome! He even bounced in his chair. He wanted to get started!

Once in the apartment Aunt Becca instructed him on what to do. He had three things he needed to do tomorrow night and he had to try his best to remember them. She even wrote them down on a piece of paper for him which he stuffed in his trouser pockets.

“Give me that at the end of the night, okay? Before you go to bed. We don’t want your Mum or Roy to find out our secret plan.”

“Right! I will.”

 

_James – To Do List_

_Make sure Mum and Roy stand under the mistletoe in the living room_

_Make sure they are beside each other at midnight_

 

It wasn’t a lot to remember, but he needed to try his best. There were some things on the list he didn’t really understand. What was mistletoe for? And why did Aunt Becca want him to make sure they stood under it.

“It is a funny Christmas joke,” she explained. “When two people are underneath the mistletoe they need to kiss.”

The thought of watching someone kiss someone else made him wrinkle up his nose. He didn’t mind when Mum kissed him, or when Uncle Jean or Aunt Becca did. But when adults did they mushed their faces together and it looked horrible. He didn’t want to watch that! Aunt Becca just laughed at his face and told him “he had a lot to learn”. Of course he did. That’s why he was at school.

“At midnight on New Year, adults kiss their husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend when the clock strikes midnight.”

“But Mum kisses me on the cheek at New Year. She gives me a big hug too.”

“Yes. If they don’t have someone special like that next to them then they will kiss a family member. But, typically, adults kiss their significant other first.”

“What’s a significant other?”

“Someone they love very much.”

“Right. Got it.”

“Do you?” Aunt Becca didn’t seem to believe him.

“I think so.”

“Good enough. Make sure they are together and then you can say Happy New Year to Mum afterwards, okay? Stand next to me and I’ll take you over. She won’t forget about you, I promise.”

“Okay!” he grinned.

If it would make both Mum and Roy happy so he needed to do it. 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promised the fluff was coming... ;)

Havoc’s living room was packed with party guests as they all gathered to ring in the New Year. The television was on and music played through it. It was a mixture of older songs and newer ones. “Ultimate Party Classics”, according to Spotify. Streamers were stretched along the walls and balloons littered the floor, which James looked thrilled about. Apparently Havoc and Riza had spent all afternoon blowing them up while Catalina had picked him up at the hospital.

“About bust a lung,” Havoc wheezed dramatically.

“That’s not hard for you considering the amount you smoke.”

“You wound me Becca,” Havoc cried, clutching his chest in “pain”.

The brunette had simply grinned and stuck her tongue out at him. But she still kissed him on the cheek and went on her way to finish dishing out food for the guests.

Roy envied them. They could be open about their relationship. They didn’t need to hide it from others. Whereas he and Riza were left with brief touches and subtle looks while the threat of being fucking attacked by his father loomed over his head.

Boy, did he get the short straw in all of this. But, to be honest, if changing it meant loosing Riza then there was no way he would change it.

He’d walk through hell for her.

Some would argue he already had.

Things had been quiet since yesterday’s emergency hospital visit. He hadn’t spoken to her since he had drifted off. Nightmares had plagued him but it was nothing compared to the terror he had felt the last time he was in Havoc’s apartment. Riza had said she “had a lot to think about”. It was the wait that was killing him, but he supposed it was deserved.

“Mum!” James exclaimed suddenly, the noise piercing Roy’s ear. The boy had ran over to greet him when Roy arrived, Riza following close behind to no doubt see where her little whirlwind was running off to.

Riza winced at the piercing sound as well. The boy had jumped into her arms after greeting his “best friend” – the title still made Roy smile. James was particularly excited today and looked thrilled to see Roy up and moving about again.

“What James?” Riza asked, rubbing her ear.

“We are underneath the mistletoe,” he giggled. Sure enough, Roy looked to where he was pointing and it was above her head.

“We are indeed.” She kissed her son on the nose and he giggled. “How do you know what mistletoe is?”

The boy laughed as he wriggled out of his mother’s arms. “We were taught about it in school.”

Roy narrowed his eyes slightly at his explanation. Why would school be teaching seven year olds about mistletoe? Also, why did he looked so mischievous all of a sudden…?

“Now you two are under it!” he exclaimed happily, his finger switching between Roy and Riza. “Now you two need to kiss each other!”

Roy’s stomach dropped. He wanted to. More than anything in the world. But there were people around them. The room was busy with Havoc and Catalina’s friends. Anyone could be watching them.

“Uh…” Roy replied, gaze flicking nervously to Riza.

“You have to!” James whined. He folded his arms across his chest and pouted. “It is not fun if you don’t!”

Roy began to stutter, grasping for an excuse, but his mind came to an abrupt stop as Riza’s lips met his. He blinked in surprise. The action was too unexpected. He didn’t even react to the kiss. Not even when Riza hummed into his mouth, smiling against it while a hand rose to the back of his neck.

“Uhhh…” he stated oh so eloquently once she pulled away.

“He would never have let it go,” she shrugged. Her soft smile told him everything would be okay. Without another word Riza’s smile changed to a smirk, a mischievous look in her own eyes. She walked off with James in tow. He looked _far_ too pleased with himself. Oh god. Those two would be the death of him.

Did that really mean…?

Looking around the room nobody was paying attention to them. Apart from Havoc. He raised his beer and winked. _Oh fuck_.

Heat rising in his face, Roy retrieved his duffel bag from the floor where he left it and slipped out to his bedroom. Havoc explained he would be in the spare room to the left, so that was where he left his belongings. It was a quick trip so he didn’t see the other duffel bag sitting against the wall under the window.

He was in need of a drink. But with his antibiotics and pain medication he couldn’t have anything. He growled to himself, pulling a glass out of the cabinet and placing it on the counter roughly.

“Relax,” Havoc drawled, leaning his hip against the same counter.

“This is not helping Havoc,” he growled, filling his glass with disappointing water. “You _know_ what is at stake here.”

The man straightened and looked down his nose at Roy. “I am well aware. But no one here is out to get you. Now you are just paranoid. Plus it’s the end of the year. Enjoy yourself.” Roy muttered darkly under his breath and Havoc smirked. “I heard that.”

“Oh, did you? Hm. That’s weird.” The sarcasm was strong tonight. But this was not helping their situation. Regardless of relationship status they needed to stay away from each other. They needed to stay on safe territory. Not kissing each other under mistletoe that Roy definitely did _not_ remember seeing yesterday.

“Lighten up.” Havoc clapped him on the back and Roy suppressed a groan of pain. The slap reverberated through his back and to his far-too-tender shoulder. “Leave all the bad shit you two have gone through this year _in_ this year. After midnight, it is a fresh start for you both. But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourselves while we have…” He paused and checked his watch. “Three hours left of 2018.” His eyebrows waggled suggestively.

Havoc sauntered away laughing. Roy downed his water, the cold liquid filling his stomach like a burn. If Havoc had any more tricks up his sleeve for tonight – and knowing him and Catalina they _definitely_ do – then he would need more than a cold drink to calm himself down. He looked around the room to note the location of any and all mistletoe, mentally noting what areas of the room to avoid. Knowing those two it was a wonder the ceiling wasn’t covered in it.

He tried not to think back on the chaste kiss but it was hard not to. He felt like such a fool standing like a statue while Riza kissed him. In all honesty he had been so surprised his brain stopped working. Then her hand – oh god her _hand_ – had rose to his neck and her nails had scratched lightly at his scalp. He had truly died and gone to heaven.

“Do I look all right?” Riza asked Catalina nervously. Roy’s attention was drawn away from Havoc’s retreating form to gravitate towards the woman he loved. It was an instinct. He hadn’t even registered what Riza had said until his eyes were on her.

She smoothed out the skirt of her dress, twisting to check the back of it. Roy noticed she had removed her hair clip and the strands tumbled down her back gloriously, like a waterfall of gold.

“You look hot as hell,” Catalina assured her, and Roy was inclined to agree wholeheartedly.

This was unfair but in the best way. He would admire from afar. Yes, that sounded like a good idea. He would torture himself while he observed her moving through the room, greeting people she knew through their hosts.

As midnight drew closer, Riza had made her way around the room and was back by his side. She leaned against the kitchen counter on his right, where he had yet to move from. Her elbow bent as it rested against the cool counter top, lifting her beer to her lips. They were close. _Too_ close. The hair on his arm felt like it was touching her skin. But his mind was slowly becoming a fog of pain and he didn’t deem it worthy of his time to care how close they were. His shoulder was still bothering him and he really didn’t want to entertain people while in agony. So he hung back from the room where it was quieter and cooler.

“So this is where you have been hiding,” she smirked, bumping his right arm with her elbow.

“I have not been hiding,” he replied casually. “I have been in the same place for the last hour or so.”

“Hiding in plain sight then?”

“Something like that.”

“I’m sorry for leaving you hanging all day,” she murmured before taking a drink of beer. “I have been really busy getting ready for tonight and it was unfair.”

“I don’t think you need to worry about being unfair,” he replied. “I have done enough of that for the both of us.”

Riza frowned. “I’m sorry. I should have spoken to you earlier.”

Before she could continue a child’s wail made its way to them.

“Mum,” James whined. He approached them both while rubbing his eyes. He yawned and Roy had to stifle his own. He was so tired. The emotional rollercoaster he had been on the day before left him dead on his feet. But he would stay up. For Riza. He found himself wanting to even though he felt like he hadn’t slept in a week. “I’m tired,” James mumbled sleepily.

_Me too, kid._

“Do you want to go to bed buddy?” she asked. Disappointment crept into his chest at the thought of not watching the countdown with Riza. He had always hoped he would kiss her at midnight. Even before her little stunt with the mistletoe. Even just a peck. That was what friends and family did. There was nothing suspicious about that.

But that had been before the mess yesterday. Despite it, he still held onto that sliver of hope. It was a fool’s hope, but one nonetheless.

He nodded. “I want Aunt Becca to read me a story,” he whined. “She promised me a good one.”

“Aunt Becca wants to watch the fireworks. I’ll read you one.”

Disappointment crept in once more. When James had requested Catalina put him down, that tiny bit of hope had become prevalent once more.

“No!” he whined. “I want Aunt Becca.”

“It is fine Riza,” Catalina chuckled, appearing as if from nowhere. “I’ll put him down.”

Riza paused. “Are you sure?”

“Of course. Come on bud. Bed time.”

It was downright adorable the way James lay his head against Catalina’s shoulder. The brunette whispered something to him and James smiled. She rose a hand to the back of his head and cradled it against her as she exited into the hallway and disappeared.

“Wow.”

“What?”

“Catalina can actually care about someone. Who knew?”

Roy chuckled as Riza smacked his arm. She returned to leaning against the counter even closer to his body than before. Anticipation and nerves crept into his stomach as someone in the room announced excitedly there were two minutes left of the year. His palms had begun to sweat, heart rate picking up in nervous anticipation.

“You did what you needed to do,” Riza stated in a low voice. The twirled the glass bottle in her hands. “No one can fault you for that.” Roy stared at her. “Thank you. I would be lying to you and myself if I said I didn’t want to continue on the way we have been.”

Roy’s eyes widened at her meaning. Was she really…? Was she giving him a second chance?

“I…” He swallowed while trying to formulate his thoughts. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness,” he told her. It made pain flare inside his chest but it was the truth. It was one last effort to keep her at arm’s length so he wouldn’t hurt her again. He never intended to but evidently it would always be a hazard if she sought out a relationship with him while his father prowled in the shadows.

Riza sighed in frustration. “ _You_ are biased. Like I said, you did what needed to be done in the moment. I can respect that. It was a tough call and you made it without hesitation. That takes a great amount of will. I would be an idiot to throw away someone who would do something like that for me. Even if it did hurt, it kept me and my son safe. I won’t and can’t forget that.” Her gaze finally lifted from the beer bottle to his. “Because I know I would have done the same if the situation was reversed.”

“One minute!” someone announced with even more excitement, if that was even possible.

Turning to face her properly, Roy noted just how wonderful she looked tonight. Her hair was tossed over one shoulder, falling down her torso. It looked so tempting to touch. All those months ago when it had happened before he had wanted to run his hands through it and hear her hum in pleasure at the sensation. The dress itself was modest but it was a lovely peach colour that complimented her extremely well. Its high back and front rose to her neck, forming a collar around her throat. It was sleeveless and dropped to just around her knees.

She was wonderful both inside and out. A literal angel who he would spend the rest of his life doting on to ensure she was always happy. This had just been a particularly rough speedbump. But if they could make it through something like this, if she was willing to forgive him, then he could forgive himself too one day. Not today, but one day.

Riza’s lips parted as she breathed, probably sensing the same thing he was.

“Ten! Nine! Eight...!” The room began to count down to 2019 but for the two in the kitchen they were in their own little world. Roy barely heard them chanting. All he could hear was the blood in his ears and the sound of Riza’s breathing. Stepping forward, he brought one hand up to her neck, cupping it gently. His fingers finally tangled in her hair. It was soft to the touch and he could smell her shampoo. His thumb couldn’t resist stroking her cheek. She gasped softly as their breaths mingled with one another. Roy paused before her lips, eyes searching hers for access. Riza grasped his forearm tightly, nodding imperceptibly, and Roy closed the distance agonizingly slowly.

“Two! One! Happy New Year!”

But the two were lost to it all. Riza’s lips were soft under his own. He opened his mouth, tongue brushing her lips gently. Riza whimpered and opened her own mouth. The grip on his forearm was gone and a pair of arms made their way up his chest and wound around his neck. He was pleased to discover her hands moving into his hair, nails lightly scratching his scalp once more. It did unfair things to him.

The grip on her neck tightened as they moved against each other. It was slow and meaningful. Not like that feverish, spur of the moment kiss they had shared before – an eon ago. Roy realised he wanted to kiss Riza Hawkeye like this for the rest of his life. He never wanted to let her go.

His hand snaked along her shoulders, gripping her right one tightly. She yelped against him as he brought her even closer to his body, pining her against his chest, and he huffed a laugh. She must not have minded because her hands continued their ministrations in his hair, complete now with the occasional tug of the strands.

She would definitely be the death of him.

Her hands ran down to his chest and she broke the kiss, panting. They stared at each other for along moment and Roy thought about how much he loved her. There was no force on earth that would keep him from loving this woman. He wanted to give her absolutely everything. For now, a kiss like this would have to do.

“I love you,” she whispered quietly, resting her forehead against his.

He kissed her forehead tenderly before returning his forehead to hers. “I love you too, Riza Hawkeye.”

They remained there for a good few moments. Cheering continued around them but they didn’t notice.

“All is forgiven. Just in case that wasn’t clear,” she smiled.

“I think you might need to spell it out for me,” he smirked as his voice dropped lower. The desire clear in it.

She kissed him again.

* * *

 James watched Roy and his Mum kiss and wrinkled his face up in disgust. Yuck! He didn’t know why adults had to smush their faces together like that. Aunt Becca chuckled next to him.

“We did it kiddo,” she replied with a grin as the countdown finished.

“Happy New Year!” Uncle Jean greeted merrily, hugging Aunt Becca. He kissed her and James looked away again. Ew! Uncle Jean bent down to scoop up James and ruffled his hair, offering him the same greeting. “Happy New Year kiddo!” He sounded funny and James giggled. He even burped while he was talking! Silly Uncle Jean.

“Well?” Uncle Jean asked, grinning. He hoisted James up higher on his hip, kissing his nephew’s cheek.

“Operation Idiot One and Idiot Two was a success!” Holding her hand up for a high five James grinned and slapped her hand with his. He whooped loudly. Excitement coursed through him. He had done well! Aunt Becca said so! And Mum and Roy looked happy too. That made him happier than anything.

“Let’s leave them alone for a bit, okay?” Aunt Becca whispered, glancing behind her. “I think we have a really good agent on her hands Uncle Jean.” She ruffled James’ hair. “I think we could use him again.”

“I think we should.”

James beamed and watched the fireworks on the television with his Aunt and Uncle.

* * *

 

“Goodnight Riza.” Rebecca called her farewell from the living room as she yawned. The guests had all left now and it was two in the morning. She was exhausted. Her feet felt heavy as she walked to her room but as a whole she felt lighter. Since Roy kissed her she hadn’t stopped grinning.

She knew this wouldn’t always be the case. She knew they still had to be careful. But it was a damn good way to start off 2019.

The pair hadn’t really separated since midnight. They still hovered back in the kitchen where it was quieter but their hands never parted. Riza had noticed Roy wincing every now and then and it worried her. So she remained by his side, gripping his hand tightly to offer the only comfort she could offer.

Every so often his thumb would brush over her knuckles and she would smile.

She changed into her pyjamas and brushed her teeth. Just as she was settling in the bedroom door opened. Her eyes snapped to it and she stopped when she saw Roy walk through the door.

“Oh!” he exclaimed. Then frowned. “Wait. Havoc said this was my room.”

“Rebecca said this was _my_ room.”

Silence fell.

“Did they just…?”

“Catalina!” Roy shouted into the hall.

“Sorry guys!” she sang as she rushed past, pulling a stumbling Jean. “Rooms are all full and James needs his own room. So sorry, gotta go to sleep. Night!” Their bedroom door slammed shut. The sound resonated through the quiet apartment as the pair looked at each other.

“That’s it. I’m finally going to kill her,” Roy announced, throwing his hands up in the air as his grip loosened on the door handle. His tone suggested that killing Rebecca was something that just gosh darn couldn’t be avoided.

Riza chuckled. “Close the door,” she commanded softly. Roy paused and began to leave. “Close the door with you _in_ the room, idiot.”

“I don’t appreciate that tone Hawkeye,” he frowned.

Riza rolled her eyes. “We are both adults. We will survive.”

“It’s fine. I’ll take the couch.”

Riza fixed him with a hard stare. “You have a bullet wound in your shoulder. You are sleeping in a bed. You are not taking the couch.” She stood and sauntered over to him, eying him critically. She could tell he was in pain by the way his shoulders were rounded forward and his face looked strained every time he moved his upper body. He couldn’t sleep on the couch. That would make his injury even worse. And she was too tired to sleep on a couch.

“It’s fine, honestly,” he lied very poorly. “It doesn’t bother me too much now.”

“Oh really?” Her hands rested on her hips, coming to rest in front of him. “So if I poke it like this…” Riza lifted her finger to poke his sore shoulder but Roy pulled away before she even got close.

“Hey! Hey! Okay, it still hurts!” He brought his free hand to cover it protectively. “You are mean,” he pouted.

“And you are a liar. A very poor one at that.”

Riza walked back over to the bed and turned down the sheets. She climbed in and looked at him expectantly. The bed was big enough. It was king size. There was enough room for two. And Riza didn’t mind one bit that they would have to share. After their kiss it was like a dream come true. She knew Roy still held reservations but they couldn’t do anything anyway. Not with him in his current state. Goddamnit, she just wanted to share his company, was that too much to ask?

But he was raised a gentleman and while Riza took comfort in that fact, she was tired and he was still pouting like a child.

“Honestly, it is all right. I’ll take the couch –”

“Roy.” She employed her “Mum” voice. “Get your butt in the bed.”

He was already halfway down to reach for his bag before he straightened again. “Sheesh. Aye aye, captain.”

He entered the bathroom with a pair of shorts and changed into them. Riza didn’t let her imagination run too wild as she pictured him changing out of his jeans. Okay, maybe she did. Just a little bit.

Okay that was a lie. But she was buzzed on alcohol, what was she supposed to do? Cover her eyes until the lights went out and she couldn’t see him? They were both adults.

“Uh… Can you help?” he asked sheepishly. Turning around to look at the en suite bathroom to their room, Riza pursed her lips to stop from smiling at him. He had changed out of the jeans but his t-shirt was currently caught up in his sling as he had tried to remove it.

“It is like getting a toddler ready for bed,” she muttered.

“I heard that,” he smirked.

“Huh. Shame. Come here.” He sat on the bed next to her. “What do you need me to do?”

“Unclip the sling at the back and lift the shirt up. I can’t do it by myself yet.”

“Has this all been a ploy to get me to undress you?” Riza tried to look unimpressed, but couldn’t fully hide her amusement.

“Not at all.” Riza narrowed his eyes at is all-too-innocent tone. “Believe me, I would want you to undress me under different circumstances Miss Hawkeye.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively while Riza rolled her eyes.

She undid the clip and Roy hissed in pain at the sudden movement of his left arm.

“Are you okay?” she asked worriedly, all banter forgotten.

He nodded. “Yeah.” His voice was strained. “It just doesn’t get any easier and I always forget to take the pressure off my elbow when someone unclips it for me.”

“How long have you had the sling on?” she asked conversationally, slowly pulling it away from his body. The black material felt warm in her hands and she tried not to think about how it had been pressed against his body.

Jesus Christ. She was worse than a teenager.

“This one? Just over a week.”

“So it has come off and put back on over fourteen, maybe fifteen times? Once in the morning and once at night?”

“Yeah,” he agreed slowly, unsure where her thought process was going.

“A smarter man would learn his lesson after the first time he felt pain,” she deadpans. Roy simply stares at her, lips parted, eyes full of disbelief. Then he smirks.

“You are right. I can’t argue with you there.”

She playfully smirks at him. “What next?”

“The shirt comes off.” He grinned and looked very pleased with himself. “Try not to swoon at what is under there.”

“Oh, I don’t think we need to worry about that,” she replies with a mocking laugh. He pouts again and Riza grins as his head disappears under the fabric.

She tried not to look at his muscular frame. She really did. But what a damn shame it was that she had to get up close and personal with his body.

He was panting by the time the shirt is off his sore arm.

“I hate that part,” he chokes, teeth clenched against the pain. “Let’s not do it again.”

Riza nodded. She hated to see him this way. That familiar feeling of guilt worms its way once more into her chest. Dropping the banter once more she eyes him with concern, noticing the sweat on his forehead and the way he winces in pain.

Of course that means he is sleeping shirtless. In a bed next to her.

Hoo-boy.

She reattached the clip and Roy sighs in relief as the pressure is taken off his shoulder.

As they lay there in the dark, both staring up at the ceiling, Riza notes just how _aware_ of him she is. Her left arm is hanging by her side but her hairs stand on end as if his good arm is _just_ out of reach next to her. She was wired now, her mind running a mile a minute to all the different scenarios that could happen while they shared a bed. She listens to his breathing and it slowly relaxes her.

Eventually, Roy’s breathing slows and he snores softly. The sound lulls her to sleep and she finally relaxes. In a moment of drowsiness, her left hand reaches out, finding his instantly. She grips it tightly as she drifts off, smiling to herself.

Waking, is another experience altogether.

She is disorientated. Her face is pressed against something solid and warm. Yawning she props herself up on her elbow, only to find she had been lying against Roy.

Against his bare chest, in fact.

As heat begins to rise to her face, she still grins to herself. Once more, she studies his muscular frame, noting with delight the power and strength it must hold. Her hands linger over his bandages, smoothing them down after she must have disturbed them in her sleep.

There is no blood on the dressing on his shoulder, which she is thankful for. After everything that happened yesterday she continued to worry about his physical state. The pain she had seen him in that afternoon as he lay a defeated man on Jean’s couch made her worry to no end. It was then she realised she really, _really_ hated to see him that way.

In his sleep he is peaceful once more. There are dark circles under his eyes still. Had he been getting enough sleep with his shoulder? Had he remembered to take his medication? Was he comfortable? Lifting her hand, she brushes his fringe away from his forehead and smooths them over the skin there. Her touch relaxes the small frown that had appeared on his face. Whether it was because of a dream or it was pain induced, it didn’t matter. She just wanted to take it away. He had already been through too much already because of her.

He stirs, the arm around her waist tightening considerably. His arm stretches, his fingers brushing against her leg and feeling _heavenly_.

“Five more minutes,” he mumbles, eyes never opening.

“Roy,” she whispered gently.

Blearily, his eyes open and he yawns. Then he freezes. They meet each other’s eyes but say nothing.

There was so much she wanted to say, so much she wanted to _do_ , but couldn’t. Not yet. Roy probably knew all she wanted to say anyway. So much had been discussed in the last twenty four hours there was no way he couldn’t know.

So, slowly, Riza lowers her head back down to his chest and closes her eyes.

They deserve this after everything they have gone through.

Instead of moving, Riza falls back asleep cuddled into Roy’s side. She notes with pleasure that his grip tightens on her hip as he pulls her body against his. Sighing happily, she drifts off again, safe in his arms. It wouldn’t be for long, but this moment would get her through the next few weeks, months, or however long it took for Jean and Roy to take down the Mayor. She would savour it because when she was back in an empty bed it would become incredibly hard to sleep knowing the man she loved was sleeping just a few brick walls away.

Oh, and enjoy it they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know the "tHeRe WaS oNlY oNe BeD" trope is over done but w h y t h e h e l l n o t  
> what is fic if you can't be cheesy as hell (esp after that angst fest)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am back from my trip! i had planned to get this out earlier but another fic has been taking up my attention today that will be posted tonight also :D  
> hope you enjoy!

“You _have_ to come to my birthday party,” James demands with his hands on his hips. He looks so much like his mother it is uncanny. They even stare down their nose at him the same way.

Yikes.

“I will try my best bud but I might be working.”

“No buts!” James crosses his arms over his chest. “You are coming. It is my birthday and _I_ say you have to be there.”

Roy chuckles at his attitude. “That’s not how the world works unfortunately.”

James bottom lip quivered. “Why?”

“Because I have to work just like Mum does. I need to make money so that I can buy food.”

“Adults are boring,” James pouts, crossing his hands over his chest.

“Very boring.”

“Well, you aren’t _that_ boring,” James reluctantly states. He sighed before flopping down on the couch. Roy had picked James up from school and the two were in Riza’s apartment while they waited on her to arrive home from work. Normally she had finished for the day by now. Riza had phoned him and asked if Roy could collect James – it was his day off – because she was stuck to clean up after a colleague’s sloppy work. From her tone during their brief phone call Roy could tell she was trying to refrain from killing said colleague.

“Okay, okay. I’ll come,” Roy finally agreed. “You have twisted my arm. I can’t have you thinking I am a boring old man now, can I?”

He will have more work to catch up on when he goes back on the Monday but it will be worth it to celebrate the kid’s birthday.

James’s face lit up and he giggled.

“You are definitely old! Even Mum said so and she is always right!”

“Did she now?” Roy tried to look thoroughly unamused by the boy’s comment.

“Yep! It was when you were in hospital.” Roy’s stomach tightened. “She said you were asleep because old men need to sleep,” he giggled.

Roy laughed but it wasn’t entirely genuine. That had been a rough few days for him and Riza. He wasn’t quite ready to joke about it. He had been an idiot and the guilt still ate at him. When he was feeling particularly bad about it the image of Riza looking heartbroken at his Aunt’s house flashed in his mind’s eye.

Taking a deep breath he supressed that memory and smiled at the boy. “Well, Mum is always right so it must be true.”

What James failed to mention was that they were travelling up to North City to go skiing for James’ birthday in April. Two weeks from now.

“Don’t feel like you have to come,” Riza reassured him. “I know it is a lot to ask.”

“Nonsense. I would love to, if you will have me.”

Her grin was answer enough.

It also meant he could see Riza without raising suspicion. Plus, an escape from life in Central to stay in a cabin with her for the weekend? Yes please.

Over the last four months their relationship hadn’t changed much. It was a cruel form of torture for him to be so close to Riza all the time and not be able to do anything. Roy liked to believe he was a patient man but with the way his dreams had been going lately he wanted to knock on her door late at night more often than not.

They had maintained their friendship as normal after their brief night together at New Year. It killed him to not be able to go to the apartment next door and not kiss the woman he loved but he held steady. There would be plenty of time for celebration once he was caught up with work and could begin to move against his father.

Havoc had been a saint and kept the ball rolling. He had interviewed witnesses to certain… events his father had been part of. There were ten accounts of him dealing in particularly unsavoury things. From extortion to money laundering the man was a criminal mastermind. He often wondered how his mother even got tangled up with Richard Mustang in the first place.

When the poor woman had learned he had been shot she almost fainted. He had walked into her home towards the end of the first week of January. She took one look at his sling and paled.

“What happened?” she whispered worriedly.

“Don’t worry, I am all right,” he reassured her, crossing the threshold of the front door.

“What happened?” she asked sharply. From the short time he had known her it was an odd tone to come out of her mouth. She was usually so quiet, her voice barely carrying over the length of a room.

“I was shot at work.” It wasn’t the whole truth but he couldn’t go around telling people that the father of the woman he loved had shot him in a fit of rage.

Ruth paled even more.

“You got shot?” Julia echoed in disbelief. She appeared to take up the torch of talking because his mother was standing across from him still too shocked to respond.

“I was chasing a criminal and he had a gun.” He shrugged his right shoulder. “It happens a lot in the force.”

“That doesn’t make it better,” his mother whispered, tears filling her eyes. “When did this happen?” she demanded.

Even at twenty eight years old he felt himself shrink under his mother’s gaze. “Before Christmas.”

“And you didn’t think to tell me now?” she exclaimed. She crossed the distance between them and embraced him tightly. Hands clutched at his t-shirt tightly as if to reassure herself he was really there and okay.

“I didn’t want you to worry,” he replied quietly.

“It is my job to worry about you,” she scolded. “Why didn’t you tell me this on the phone?”

Once being released from hospital the first time Roy had kept up communication with his mother. He had neglected to inform her of his current circumstances because he truly didn’t want her to worry. It was also too much to explain in a phone call, especially when she sounded so happy to hear from him.

“It is not exactly something to share over the phone.”

She paused. “Still! I would have liked to know!”

Ruth sat on the couch and buried her head in her hands. Roy didn’t realise it would affect her this much.

“I’m sorry, Mum.” The word felt odd to say. For his whole life he had never given the title to anyone.

“I found you and you could have been ripped away from me again just like that.” Her voice was quiet and the sadness in it was palpable. “I wouldn’t have even known.” Roy swallowed. Taking up the place next to her he placed a hand on her shoulder. “Are you all right?” she asked him. The tears in her eyes shimmered in the light. “Truly?”

He nodded. “I am fine. There is no infection and the wound is healing nicely.”

“Don’t do that to me again. Do you hear me?”

A knock on his apartment door tore Roy out of his recollection of that series of events. He felt guilty for leaving her out of it but he had thought it would have been for the best.

“Hey,” Riza greeted with a grin. James hovered behind her carrying a backpack and an overnight bag in his hand. Riza had a suitcase but those skis Roy had spotted all those months ago in her apartment were nowhere to be seen. “Are you ready to go?” Riza asked.

“Yeah. I’ll grab my stuff.”

Ten minutes later Riza was driving the trio up towards North City.

The drive was fun. It reminded him of road trips he and his friends had gone as teenagers. As soon as his oldest friend and adoptive brother, Maes Hughes, could drive they had been out every night after school. They had had some pretty wild nights.

Hughes was another unofficial brother. He was orphaned and put into care at the age of five. Chris had fostered Maes then adopted him since he was the same age as her nephew. Both boys had grown up together under his Aunt’s roof. They had been thick as thieves, causing trouble everywhere they went. As they had grown older the bond had never faded.

James was in charge of the music. “It’s my birthday” is apparently the excuse he would be using all weekend to get his own way.

Pop music was prevalent in James’ choice. Roy didn’t mind but they weren’t his favourite songs in the world. Still, when James belted out the lyrics from the back of the car Roy found himself joining in. Riza simply grinned from the driver’s seat, injecting with her own singing every now and then. They were all off key which made it even funnier.

The excitement of the car journey died down after an hour in and Roy played eye spy with James. But before long the boy had fallen asleep. Looking into the back seat Roy chuckled at the sight of him. His head was tilted back against the seat, mouth hanging open. His legs were sprawled out at opposite angles, arms following the same example.

“He’s out like a light,” Roy told Riza. Turning back around in his seat he winced slightly as the belt put pressure on his shoulder. The wound had healed and he had been attending physiotherapy for it. It had been slow progress to begin with. Even simply movements left him panting for breath. But, a month and a half down the line he was relatively back to normal. Day to day tasks were easy now. He was still confined to his desk at work, which was a nuisance, but he made it work. Havoc travelled out to do the work and Roy kept him on the line, discussing various part of his father’s case.

Going skiing was definitely not a good idea but he fully intended to sit back and relax in the lodge while the two barrelled down hills on death sticks.

“Put James in a car and it is a sure fire way of getting him to sleep. When he was a baby and wouldn’t settle I would put him in his car seat and go for drives in the middle of the night. Worked every time.”

Roy smiled at the thought of a tired Riza driving around the streets of the east while waiting for a young James to fall asleep.

“That sounds like a lot of work,” he chuckled. “Although, to be fair, I wouldn’t expect anything less from the kid.”

Riza smiled this time. “It was worth it. It all was.”

Silence fell as Riza reflected on her words. Roy watched her as she drove. The winter sun had begun to set, setting the sky on fire with orange and gold colours. It caught her hair nicely, making it shine even more so than normal. The sunglasses she had pushed back on top of her head had returned to her face. Her fringe was ruffled from the movement, the odd hairs sticking out.

“How long will it be until we arrive?”

“About three hours.” They had already been on the road for an hour and a half. It would be dark by the time they arrived, but the nights had slowly started to become darker later on in the day now that it was April. “We should be there around dinner time. I was thinking about just grabbing a take away?”

“Sounds good to me.”

“There is a lovely Cretan restaurant near the lodge which we go to all the time. James is a very picky eater when we eat out so it will probably be easier to get something from there. At least I know he will eat it.”

“What do you have?”

So Riza told him all about the restaurant and how much she loved it. Roy made a mental note of her favourite dishes, filing that information away for future reference. If this whole mess with his father worked out well in the end then he would like to finally take her out to dinner. It would be useful to go somewhere that she enjoyed.

The rest of the car journey was spent with Riza telling him all about the lodge they were hiring for the weekend and what she and James liked to do up there. It was in the middle of the forest. It was secluded and quiet, but the ski resort was only a five minute drive away or a twenty minute walk. She always preferred to walk because James was so happy playing in the snow.

Sure enough, Riza pulled off the highway onto a smaller road. After half an hour or so she turned left onto a dirt track. The headlights shone on the trees, making the scene look slightly eerie as they drove through the pitch black forest. However, not ten minutes later light began to shine through the trees and the lodge appeared in a clearing.

It was massive, Roy noted in awe. How much did it even cost to rent this? Roy had paid his share but judging by what he had paid it didn’t seem nearly enough for the size of the place. Did he owe Riza more money?

There were wooden stairs leading up to the front door. The house itself was raised off the ground but the deep snow around it hid the foundations. A lean-to sat just to the left of it, hosting some firewood. At the front of the house there was a large window, travelling the length of the wall. From the inside Roy knew he would have to crane his neck up to see the top of it. It spoke of high ceilings and a very open plan area.

Riza carried James into the house and he stirred finally. Seeing they had arrived already he perked up and hopped down.

“Why don’t you take your things to your room, James? We will get the rest of it.”

He took off up the stairs, already knowing where he was going.

As they walked in the door Roy noted it was indeed very open plan. To the right sat the living room. Two couches and an armchair sat around a television. A plush rug was on the floor, offering a comfortably place to sit in front of the fire. Two bookcases lined the left wall and they were full of books, DVDs, CDs, and board games.

Riza placed her bags on the floor and headed straight for the fireplace. Roy had visions of the three of them sitting around that fire. They didn’t necessarily have to be doing anything. He saw himself reading a book on the couch while Riza’s feet rested on his lap. She would be buried in her own book. James would lounge on that carpet with his colouring book while music played quietly in the background. He found himself wanting that vision to come true very much.

To the left was the kitchen and dining room. The kitchen was all black and silver, screaming modern at him. The table wasn’t large, but it could seat four people. Straight ahead were the stairs, which Roy ambled towards, wanting to explore the place further. He arrived on a balcony which overlooked the ground floor below. It had another couch and an armchair which were angled towards the large windows at the front of the house. He could definitely picture himself sitting there watching the snow fall between the trees.

There were three bedrooms. The one on the right was a twin room. The door was open and Roy smiled as James had dumped his two bags haphazardly on the bed – one was ready to fall on the floor. The boy had ran over to the window and he was looking out at the very light snow fall that had just begun.

A large bathroom with a Jacuzzi bath was next door to James’ room. Two double rooms were on the left of the hallway.

“Hey James?” he called from outside his room. “What room does Mum normally have?”

The boy poked his head out the door and pointed to the first room on the left. “That one.”

“Okay. Thank you.” Somewhat regrettably, Roy made his way to the second door on the left. He had been excited to come on this trip with them but in his excitement he failed to think about what it would actually entail. Again, he would be right next door to her and he wouldn’t be able to do a damn thing. It would be torture.

However, this weekend was for James, not for them. He would grin and bear it and text Havoc to make sure he finished the task pertaining to his father’s case sooner rather than later. The sooner it was all done the better. 

* * *

 Riza tried not to think about the conversation she had just heard Roy and James share. She wanted to tell him to join her in the bedroom she normally occupied but it would be a major crossing of the boundaries they had created to keep themselves in check. Sighing, she rose from her crouch in front of the wood fire already feeling warmer. It was such a cosy house. One she wished she could buy for herself and move out here, but there had never been the right time. Not to mention it was very expensive. She knew the owner of the house and because she and her son were regular customers, the man had begun to offer a discount. She would pay anything to make sure James enjoyed his birthday but it was expensive. She would save up all year to make sure they could make it up here around his birthday.

“I’m going to grab some food,” she called upstairs once emptying the car. She didn’t have a lot. Just the skis, another bag of food, and their hiking gear. “What do you want?”

James thudded down the stairs quickly after her. “Can I come with you?” he asked excitedly.

“If you want to, sure. Do you want to come too?” she asked Roy.

“I think I will stay here. I just warmed up,” he grinned.

“Okay. The menu is on the table. It will take us ten minutes to get there so text me what you want and I’ll order it. My treat,” she added once he began to look for his wallet.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course. Come on James. Let’s get moving.”

Forty minutes later mother and son returned home to find Roy snoozing on the couch by the fire. They both grinned at him, sharing an amused look. His legs were stretched out before him, ankles crossed as the heels sat on the rug. His head was tipped back against the cushion with both hands clasped on his stomach. She knew the allure of falling asleep in front of that fire. She had done it many times before herself.

“Wake up sleeping beauty!” James shouted and giggled.

Roy jumped slightly in his sleep, eyes opening blearily after being awoken in such a rude way. The two laughed, Riza shooting him an apologetic look and a shrug.

“Okay, okay. I’m up,” he grumbled. He rubbed his face and stood. Riza didn’t miss how he rolled his injured shoulder and grimaced.

“Shoulder still bothering you?” she asked quietly while James was occupied with washing his hands before dinner. Riza dished out the food onto plates.

“A little bit,” he admitted. “Nothing to worry about. It just gets stiff every now and then.”

Riza nodded and handed him his order, opting to say nothing more on the matter. It didn’t stop her from worrying though.

The three sat around the table and conversed while they ate. It was such a domestic scene that Riza didn’t want it to end. However, it excited her to know they had two more days of this. Two more days without needing to hide and just be themselves. They would drive back on Sunday night, but not until around six o’clock. She wanted to make the most of their weekend and the owner didn’t mind at all.

Tomorrow they would hike up to the resort. There was a trail from their lodge which took the long way around to the main skiing area, rather than following the road which only took about twenty minutes. The trail took about an hour and it was worth every second. It travelled through the forest and up the hill behind them. The view point looked down on the resort and offered excellent views of the surrounding mountain ranges. Plus, she loved the snow and was excited to get back out in it.

It was James birthday tomorrow too so she made sure they would all be doing the things he enjoyed.

“So, what would you like to do tomorrow birthday boy?” she asked with a grin. Her hands were clasped before her and she rested her chin atop them. Roy sat back in his seat, full after his meal and – of course – James copied him.

“I want to go skiing,” he replied excitedly, sitting upright in his chair. “Can you ski Roy?”

“I can’t I’m afraid. I was never taught how to.”

“We can teach you!”

Riza watched as he grimaced. “I might need to miss out this time,” he replied. James face dropped. “It wouldn’t be very clever to do with my sore shoulder. But,” he added, noticing the sad look on her son’s face. He spoke quickly, as if afraid he would burst into tears. Riza hid her smile. She was very aware of her child’s way to get what he wanted. He would pretend he was sad until the person’s resolve cracked. He was a genius. “Next time I will join you. I promise.”

“So you won’t be joining us for our walk?” he asked sadly.

“I’ll join you for that. The doctor said I needed to be extra careful now the sling is off. If I went skiing I would probably hurt it again.”

“Okay,” James smiled. Apparently he liked the sound of that.

Riza noted how Roy said he had never been skiing before. She had images in her head of him comically falling on his ass and she snickered to herself.

The man in question frowned. “What are you laughing at?” he asked, but there was an amused look on his face.

“Oh, nothing.” Her reply was innocent but she snorted once more before standing to clear away their dirty dishes.

After dinner was a quiet affair. Riza was tired after driving for so long during the day so she curled up on the couch in front of the fire. The boys watched a film on the television. She had drifted off and missed the start so she didn’t catch the name.

Stretching out her foot hit something solid. Her eyes popped open and she looked down her body, seeing Roy sitting at the opposite end of the couch with a subdued smile on his face.

“Sorry,” she mumbled tiredly. She moved to curl back into a ball but a hand clamped down on her ankle gently, stilling her movements. Roy lifted her feet so they rest on his lap then moved to rest his hands atop them. Riza sighed at the sensation, relishing in the warmth he provided to her cold feet. Then he began to rub them, obviously feeling the cold through her socks. Oh _god_. He chuckled to himself as she sighed happily once more and Riza didn’t particularly care that he heard it. She had always had poor circulation in her feet. And what he was doing to them felt heavenly.

Cracking open an eye she watched as he continued to move his hands but his attention had moved back to the television. James lay on his stomach on the rug, head resting on his hands as he watched intently. She couldn’t think of a more perfect scene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i will get back to replying to comments and reviews tomorrow but for now enjoy this and the new one!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was an absolute blast to write! i had so much fun with it  
> while i do love (and thrive) on the angst i can write a bit of fluff from time to time ;)

The walk to the resort took more out of Roy than he would care to admit. He had always been physically fit but being stuck on bedrest for two months had sapped away some of his progress. As soon as he was able he would hit the gym once more and build up any fitness he lost.

Still, walking through the snow would be a good start for him.

His shoulder continued to bother him. It was nowhere near as painful as it had been before. The stretches and exercises the physio gave him had worked wonders over the course of a few weeks. He did them twice a day. Last night he had explained them to James and why doing them helped his shoulder. The boy even joined in himself which was an amusing affair.

He noticed just how much progress he had left to make when mother and son had broken out into a snowball fight in the middle of the forest.  He had joined in but after bumping painfully into a tree while losing his footing in the snow, he opted to sit out and officiate. Riza had stopped their game and eyed him with concern but he assured her he would be all right.

“It’s just stiff,” he reassured her. It wasn’t a lie… “I just need to rest it for a bit.”

She didn’t looked particularly satisfied with his answer but returned to her son’s game. He did notice how more often than not she would shoot him a worried glance.

Roy knew she still felt guilty for what happened. It was his job, after all, to protect civilians and diffuse situations like the one he had been part of. Of course, people like Riza’s father were unpredictable while drunk and it could have gone either way. Roy wouldn’t have put it past the bastard to shoot his own daughter if provoked in the right way. It wasn’t his favourite part of the job. Every day he put on his badge and gun he could end his shift in a body bag. But he did it to protect the people of Central. People like Riza and James. That was something that had always drawn him to working for the police. As he grew older the reason remained the same, but other goals took shape around it. By becoming a detective he would be able to investigate his father. Roy had always known there was something fishy about him.

The first time they had met had been Roy’s eighteenth birthday. Chris had thrown a party for him with all his friends from school. Of course, his father had shown up and introduced himself. It hadn’t been pretty. It would always be a night he would remember and not for the right reasons.

A snowball whipped past his head so suddenly that he jumped in fright. Another hit him square in the chest, causing an _ooph_ to leave him. James laughed loudly, no doubt at the expression on his face. “Got you!” he yelled triumphantly.

The boy had pin point accuracy and it was deadly. The snow also packed a punch, which didn’t help.

“Made you jump!” he announced proudly.

After a brief moment of shock Roy bent over from his perch on a fallen tree and balled up fresh snow in his hands. His shoulder protested as he compacted the snow. Standing from his seat his eyes zeroed in on James. The boy continued to look pleased with himself, hands on his hips and all. Roy’s eyes narrowed and he began to walk.

James’ expression turned to one of confusion. As Roy approached closer and extended his hand the boy realised what was about to happen.

“No!” he shrieked, taking off at a sprint away from him.

“Come here!” Roy commanded, then grinned.

The chase lasted a couple of minutes. James tired quickly and although Roy tiring as well, he pushed forward and eventually caught the boy. He had the advantage of longer legs to get through the snow.

“No!” James shouted as best he could while out of breath.

Gently, Roy caught his hood. The boy had slowed considerably, his short legs struggling to make it through the large snow drift, so he wasn’t moving too fast. Roy was careful not to choke him nonetheless. Pulling the jacket backwards, Roy dropped his snow down James back.

The boy yelled and thrashed in his grasp before beginning to shriek.

Roy on the other hand just laughed.

“Ha ha,” he mocked. “Got you!”

“That was cold!” James wailed.

“That was payback.”

James finally stopped wriggling and stood in the snow, his back arched in an effort to get away from the still cold water drenching his t-shirt. His jaw set and he looked positively _livid_. Roy just cackled in response.

“It’s like having two kids,” he heard Riza mutter from behind him. That made his grin widen.

“Mum!” he wailed.

“Don’t “Mum” me,” she replied sternly. “You brought this on yourself. You shouldn’t have thrown a snowball at him when he wasn’t paying attention in the first place.”

James huffed and waddled out of the snow drift.

“Now he is mad,” Roy commented quietly so only Riza could hear. James stomped off, continuing on up the trail.

“He will be fine in a while. Well,” she smirked, watching her son walk away. “At least until that water on his back warms up.” Roy laughed and Riza shrugged. “It is his own fault.”

“Teaching him about consequences young. I like it.”

“He has to learn,” she replied simply. “Am I a bad mother to admit it was really funny to watch?” She leaned in closer as they walked. Her voice dropped in volume, as if her question was blasphemy.

“Not at all. I would probably do the same.”

“It happened to him before,” Riza smiled. “I asked him to take two glasses full of ice over to the table last summer. He knocked them both over and it spilled right down his front. It was like a banshee had moved in.”

Roy chuckled. “It probably traumatised him.”

“He is such a drama queen when it comes to things like this anyway. He doesn’t need any more encouragement.”

The two walked side by side up the trail while James stomped ahead. They watched the boys’ body language. At first his shoulders were hunched and he would huff in anger to himself before pulling at the wet t-shirt at his back. Then that would make him even angrier. Then, he got tired and his gait slowed, eventually coming to a stop. Both adults passed him without a word, awaiting his response.

“Come on James,” Riza called back to him. They had progressed slightly further ahead while the boy stewed. Riza assured Roy it was better to let James cool off before talking to him.

“That wasn’t nice,” James pouted, scowling at Roy while he approached.

“You started it.”

Riza shot him a look at his petulant response. As if to say _don’t you start_.

“He’s right, honey. You made the first move.

“Listen, if you dish it out you have to take it.”

“Roy,” Riza frowned, not pleased about his explanation.

“What? He does.” He turned his attention back to her son. “You can’t make a joke towards someone then get mad when they do it back to you. It was all a bit of fun that _you_ started, remember, until someone gave you the same treatment.”

James just scowled.

“Enough, James,” Riza scolded.

“But it was cold!” he complained. “That wasn’t fair! I didn’t make him all wet!”

“Well that second snowball really hurt my sore shoulder,” Roy revealed. “Do you think that was fair or fun for me?”

“No,” he mumbled. James lightly kicked the snow in front of him.

“Listen.” Roy softened his voice and crouched to James’ eye level. The boy firmly kept his eyes on the snow. “Look at me,” Roy urged gently, and he did so. He truly did look hurt but it had all been fun and games until somebody turned on him. “I know it was cold. I am sorry. But, I was just joining in with what you started.” James mumbled something under his breath. “What?”

“Sorry.”

“Thank you. Now, I didn’t mind one bit because I thought it was funny. So, in the future, have a think about what you are about to do. If you wouldn’t like someone to do a certain thing to you, then don’t do it to them. Does that make sense?”

“…Kinda.”

Roy sighed.

“Okay, think of it this way. If you punched me it would hurt, right?” James nodded. “If I was to punch you, would you like it?”

“No.”

“So, don’t punch somebody if you wouldn’t like someone to punch you. Okay?”

He nodded then walked away. Roy rose from his crouch and watched after him. Sighing quietly he hoped he had gotten through to the boy. He truly didn’t mind what James did. It was comical in the timing. He had been dreaming and no doubt the sight of a snowball flying past his head would be amusing. It hadn’t really bothered his shoulder, but the one to the chest packed a punch. The pain had spread across his chest, nudging the still healing muscles there.

Riza was watching him with a look on her face that he couldn’t quite place. It looked somewhere between wonder and pride.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Shaking her head in the negative, she grinned. There was no further explanation but she latched onto his arm as they begun to walk once more. He covered her gloved hand with his own, squeezing it as she gripped his forearm tightly.

“Don’t mind him too much,” Riza reassured Roy. “He will get over it.”

“I know he will. I hope I didn’t cross any boundaries or anything. I used to have those conversations a lot with my younger siblings growing up.”

“Not at all. In fact, it was really nice.” Her voice lowered in volume, as if slightly embarrassed to admit it.

“Why?” Roy smiled.

Riza shrugged, but he noted the light blush that appeared over her lovely cheeks. “It was just… nice. You are such a Dad at heart.”

Roy would have frozen if Riza hadn’t been tugging him along with her. That was… unexpected. He was pleased, but… was that something she wanted?

As if sensing what Roy was thinking, she continued. “It has been a lovely weekend already,” she admitted. “It has been nice to just forget about all that is going on and not to worry about doing something that will be reported back to someone else.” The grip on her hand tightened. As if sensing the sorry was coming she smirked. “Relax, it wasn’t a dig at you. But… It’s true, you know? I have loved every minute of this.”

Riza took a deep breath, obviously gearing up to say something big. Roy held his own breath in anticipation. “When all this is over… Would you…”

“Go on,” he urged softly.

“When everything gets sorted I would really like to go back to living like this. At home.”

The meaning of her words took a minute to register with him. Then – _Oh_.

“Are you sure?” he asked, voice stuttering slightly.

Riza nodded. “I have thought about it a lot. James adores you. I love you. It would be stupid if we didn’t jump at the chance. But, only if that is all right with you of course.”

Roy stopped walking. Riza turned to look at him expectantly and he studied her face.

She was being genuine, he had no doubts about that. However a small part of him had always thought she still kind of resented him for what had happened in between Christmas. There had been no further talk of the incident yet Roy could sense she was still keeping her distance these past couple of months. He had thought things would shift between them after that kiss and – _ahem_ – that night sharing the bed. But it hadn’t. He had thought that they might grow closer but there was always a feeling that Riza was keeping him at arm’s length. It was understandable – and the smart thing to do – but it still gnawed at him.

“Riza.” His voice softened and he tugged her towards him, causing her to face him properly. “Of course I would. You know I would without even having to ask.”

Her gaze dropped. “I just wanted to be sure.”

Roy placed his hand under her chin, lifting it so she met his gaze. “Has there been any doubt?” he asked while afraid of the answer.

Her silence made his stomach tighten. “After that… day,” Roy knew in an instant to what she was referring to. “I wasn’t sure. The seed of doubt had been planted. It was true what I said in the hospital. I truly didn’t want to leave you despite everything you said.” He flinched. “The thought terrified me.”

Roy sighed, dropping his hand from her chin. His gaze stared at her hand on his arm. “I said some hurtful things.” That was the truth. “The thought of losing you terrified me when I knew my father could hear our conversation. I thought that pushing you away would keep you safe.”

“And it did.”

Roy barked a laugh, but it was humourless. “I went about it a stupid way.”

“You did what you had to do.”

“You shouldn’t have stayed,” he whispered.

The grip on his arms tightened. If his eyes had been on Riza’s face, he would have seen them flash. “Look at me.” There was a fire in them that was so fierce he could almost feel the heat from her gaze. “You have done nothing but look out for me and my family. There have only ever been two people in my life who have done that and that is Jean and Rebecca. To have someone else care so much… That means more to me than anything in this world whether you are truly in love with me or not.”

Roy studied her gaze, noting the determination and resolve in it.

“I can look after myself and my son but I can’t do that effectively if I don’t know what is coming. We need to watch each other’s back for this to work, not try to shoulder the burden alone.”

He was trying anything to urge her away. It was a last ditch effort because she didn’t deserve someone who pulled a stunt like he did. But no matter how hard he pushed, Riza Hawkeye pushed right back. She fought for him when he wallowed in his pity and guilt. She made him a better person.

“No matter how hard you try to push me away,” she added softly, seemingly catching onto his thoughts once more. She had a knack for it. “You won’t be able to get rid of me that easily.”

The pair began to walk once more. James still stormed off ahead but he could still be seen. The child was completely oblivious to the talks going on behind him.

His heart swelled with love for this woman. He didn’t think he could love her more than he already did but here she was, proving him wrong.

“I mean it Riza, I would be more than happy to live like this with you and James if you would have me.” She smiled, the action reaching her eyes in a way he absolutely adored. It was her best smile, dazzling him every time she showed it. Standing on her tiptoes, she pecked his cheek. “I thought that kiss on New Year explained that,” he added, grinning once he saw that blush again.

“I haven’t exactly had a lot of successful communication between loved ones in my life,” she replied dryly. “I just like to be sure. There is no crime in that.”

“Well,” Roy replied, a devilish idea popping to the forefront of his mind. “Perhaps you need persuading once more.”

He stopped short, jerking Riza backwards. He tugged her arm so she stepped backwards to keep her balance. With an “oh!” she bumped into his chest, her hands bracing on it to stop herself from hitting her head against his. Her eyes wide, she smiled up at him as if realising what he was about to do.

His lips captured hers and Riza yelped in surprise. When his tongue flicked out to lick her lips she moaned and snaked her arms up around his neck. Her finger tangled in his hair in that way he loved. It sent desire into his stomach and if they weren’t in the middle of the forest with her son about twenty metres away he would have jumped her bones there and then.

Roy lifted his hands from her waist to curl around her back, pulling her body tightly against his. Her back arched and she moaned against him. She couldn’t do that to him. She certainly knew how to make him hot and bothered. After squeezing her body tightly his hands drifted lower once more, coming to rest on her hips.

God, he loved this woman.

“Does that clear things up?” he asked, his voice husky. Their breaths mingled together in the cold air, steam heating their faces, although the effects of the kiss had done that job already.

“I don’t know…” she replied. “I might need another piece of evidence Detective Mustang.”

He growled and kissed her again while she laughed against this mouth. This woman would surely be the death of him with comments like that.

“That was much easier with two arms.”

* * *

When Riza walked into the lodge and placed her skis by the door. She paused before straightening up, picking up on a peculiar smell. It filled the house and her mouth watered involuntarily. She was exhausted and hungry after their afternoon of skiing and something smelled _incredible_. It smelled like… baking?

Suddenly the lights turned off, leaving the house in darkness. Her stomach tightened and she heard James gasp beside her.

The two stood in silence too afraid to make a move.

“Hello?” she called into the house, ensuring her voice was strong and didn’t waver like she felt it might. “Roy?” A hint of desperation crept into her voice and she cursed herself for it. Instinctively she reached out her hand and placed it in front of James to stop him from walking further into the room. It was also a way to reassure herself that he was still there.

As she was about to call out into the darkness once more, demanding whoever was in here to show themselves, a soft orange glow emitted from the hallway behind the stairs. It led to the back door and opened up into the kitchen.

Riza’s eyes widened in surprise as someone emerged carrying what looked like… candles?

Through the darkness she spotted Roy’s face in the low light of the candles. There was a grin on his face and he looked like he had something on his face. He wore a white apron around his waist and it was stained but in the gloom Riza couldn’t tell what with.

“Happy birthday James!” he announced with a grin, walking towards her son. He began to sing Happy Birthday and Riza quickly joined him, initially too shocked to do so.

She watched as James’ eyes lit up in the candlelight at the sight of a cake. He had such a sweet tooth. She couldn’t quite make out what it was in the shape of. The dark forest outside offered no light pollution to see what it might be. Only the candles lit up the room.

“Happy birthday to youuuu!” Roy sang, stretching out the last word like an opera singer would. Only he did it badly. It still made James giggle though and that was all that mattered. Her son blew out the candles and Riza cheered and clapped. She flicked the lights back on and they all walked towards the table.

“Did you make this?” she asked in wonder. The cake was incredible. It was relatively circular, but an odd shape. Then, Riza immediately recognised it from the colours. He had made a Spider Man cake.

“Oh wow!” James exclaimed, clambering up into a chair to see his cake. He knelt on the seat as he stared at it in wonder.

“I have had a busy afternoon while you guys were off gallivanting,” he winked. She noticed now the marking on his face was flour and his apron was stained with black and red icing, as well as more flour. It was a miracle the lodge wasn’t covered in it. He even had some in his _hair_.

“This is… amazing. How did you…?”

“I grew up in a restaurant and bar. I was bound to pick up some cooking tips,” he winked.

An idea popped into her head. A truly wicked one. “It seems you are going grey already,” she joked, smirking at the stricken look on his face.

“ _What_?” She cackled as he ran off to look in the closest mirror. “Very funny,” he growled, running his hand through his hair to shift the powder.

“Here.” Riza lifted her hands and shook his out of his hair for him. His scalp was warm under hand as he bent his head to allow her better access. Her hand lingered on the back of his neck as he looked up once more. Riza wiped the rest of the flour off his cheek with her other hand.

“This is awesome Roy!” James exclaimed excitedly. “This is the best cake I have ever had! Wait until my friends at school hear about this!”

Roy chuckled, his gaze travelling to her son. But Riza couldn’t bring herself to look away from him. Instead, she pecked his cheek. But it was a pleasant surprise to find Roy move back to face her at the last second so their lips met. She wasn’t sure if he did it on purpose, but it didn’t bother her in the slightest.

“Thank you,” she murmured softly. He smiled lazily and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, turning her so she faced her son. She would have probably sighed at the thought of the flour on his arms covering her black jumper, but she found herself not minding. And she couldn’t resist removing her hand from his neck to around his back, the other moving to his chest.

She was truly touched that he had done this for James. After the boy’s tantrum this morning he had continued to scowl all afternoon whenever Roy was mentioned. Apparently this gift was cool enough to earn Roy his forgiveness. This was an incredible gift in itself and he had obviously been paying attention. Riza had known Spider Man was James’ favourite superhero, obviously, but she wasn’t sure when Roy would have found that out. This probably meant more to James than any physical gift Roy could have given him.

“Can you take a picture Mum?” he asked, bouncing on his knees. “I want to show my friends!”

And so begun the photo shoot of the night. It had started off as a few pictures of James looking pleased as punch with his cake. However, Roy being Roy had escalated it and it turned into a full on fashion shoot with it. Riza hadn’t laughed like that in a long time. Roy took it _very_ seriously.

“Have you been practicing that pout in the mirror?” Riza asked while wiping tears from her eyes.

“I will have you know I spent years perfecting my Blue Steel.”

Riza snorted.

“Well then Mr. Zoolander let’s dig into this cake. We are starving.”

With a flourish, he presented the cake to the pair of them. The inside was just as perfect as the outside. And the _taste_. Riza would ensure he baked cakes more often. It was safe to say they were too full from the cake to eat a proper dinner that night.

“Cake is a great idea for a birthday dinner,” Roy told her. “You’re Mum has never let you have cake for dinner James?”

Riza smacked Roy’s arm.

“Nope. Not even on my birthday.”

 “Well we need to fix that.”

She smacked him harder and he laughed. “Don’t give him ideas,” she muttered. Because that was something her son would _absolutely_ fight for.

“Do you have any brothers and sisters Roy?” James asked. Both adults turned their attention to him. He was lying on the rug in front of the fire again while colouring in his activity book. Riza wasn’t sure what had spurred on the question but there was a programme on the television that no one was really watching about two brothers.

“I have lots of adoptive brothers and sisters.”

“What does that mean?” James enquired. He paused in his work to look up at the raven haired man.

“My Aunt looks after lots of children. She helps those who don’t have a Mum or Dad. She looks after them like your Mum does for you.”

“I don’t have a Dad. Do I get adopted?”

Roy choked on his drink.

“No, definitely not,” Riza reassured her son. “I am your Mum and you are stuck with me.” She nudged his side with her foot.

“Okay!” He sounded very pleased with that, Riza noted.

“My Aunt looks after people who have lost their Mum or Dad,” Roy explained further, recovering from his choking fit. “They are called orphans.”

“Lost them how?”

The two adults shared a look.

“It can happen in lots of different ways,” Riza explained slowly. She really didn’t want to tread down this topic. Not after such a lovely evening. “But what is important is Roy’s Aunt Chris takes them into her home and makes them happy.”

“She sounds like a nice lady.”

“She is.”

“Did you lose your Mum and Dad? Is that why you lived with your Aunt?”

“James!” Riza scolded sternly. The boy jumped in fright at the volume of her voice. He fearfully looked at his mother, unsure what he had said wrong. “You can’t ask people that.”

“Why not?” he asked in a small voice.

“Because it can be very upsetting.”

“Riza, it’s okay,” Roy reassured her softly. “But your Mum is right. I wouldn’t go around asking people questions like that because it can make the very sad. Some people might not mind being asked but others will.”

“Okay,” James squeaked.

“I never knew my Mum,” Roy told them, beginning the tale of his childhood. Riza turned her full attention towards him, intrigued to hear his story. He knew hers, and she apparently only knew some of his. She was eager to learn more about the man. “She gave birth to me and my Aunt adopted me when I was born because she couldn’t look after me properly.”

“Why?” James asked fearfully. “Was she okay?”

“She was okay, don’t worry,” he reassured the boy. Riza’s chest tightened while listening to the story. She had heard this before. His father had pressured his mother into hiding, effectively leaving Roy to grow up without a parent. Yes, he had his Aunt, but his father could have let them be. Instead he appeared to enforce his wrath upon the poor woman, leaving Roy in the dark his whole life. That was something that didn’t sit well with her. “But she was very young and wasn’t ready to look after me. So, my Aunt adopted me when my mother asked and I grew up with her.”

“Was it fun?”

“It was very fun. I missed my Mum a lot but my brothers and sisters made me feel better.”

“How many do you have?” James asked in wonder.

Riza watched as he tried to count in his head. Eventually, he gave up. “Fifteen?” His head tilted as he recounted. “Yeah, fifteen. She adopted a lot of kids. She still does.”

“Will I be able to meet them one day? They all sound like fun.”

Roy’s gaze slid over to meet hers. With a knowing smile he replied. “I am sure you will get the chance.” She knew the hidden message behind that smile and it thrilled her to know what the prospect and implications of her meeting his family meant.

“I wish I had a brother or sister,” James admitted casually. “That would be so cool!”

“Well maybe one day, dear,” Riza told him, tearing her gaze away from Roy. It was too soon to be thinking about kids. Hell, they weren’t even together yet. Then there was the question of whether Roy would want to? Riza was fairly certain he would. But that was a _whole_ other conversation for another day.

James sighed happily while he continued to colour in. “Although,” he added thoughtfully. “You are kind of like a brother and a Dad to me, Roy.”

“Oh yeah?”

James nodded. “Yeah you teach me cool things and hang out with me.”

“Oh yeah?” Riza echoed, her displeased tone very different from Roy’s. “And what do _I_ do?” The amusement was clear on her face.

“You look after me. That is your job.”

“Oh, I _see_.”

“But you are the best,” he reassured her, lifting his gaze to meet hers. He had obviously noted the change in her tone. It was playful, but her son probably couldn’t pick up on it. “You do the best job at looking after me. Roy is second.”

Riza nodded proudly. She stuck her tongue out at Roy. “Ha. I beat you.”

“I couldn’t take that title from you no matter how hard I tried.”

She felt herself blush slightly at his compliment and she cursed herself for it, only because it made Roy’s grin grow even larger.

That whole conversation – and the subtle double meanings that went with it – was why Riza found herself creeping quietly up the dark hallway an hour after they had all retired to bed.

“Roy,” she whispered into the dark bedroom. He was sleeping soundly.

Riza took in his sleeping form. She noted – very pleased – that he was shirtless while he slept. The bed cover was half way down his chest, revealing his muscular frame. _Very_ pleased. She might have been a bit tipsy. One arm rested across his eyes as he snored lightly. While the other had its hand splayed across his stomach, just above the cover.

“Roy,” she whispered louder. He stirred and grunted but that arm never moved.

Sighing, Riza gently climbed into the bed with him.

“Wh –”

“Shhh,” she hushed him, burying into the warmth of his bed.

“Riza?”

“I couldn’t sleep. Budge over.”

“What are you doing?”

“I can’t sleep,” she repeated.

“Uh…” he whispered into the gloom.

“Don’t be such a baby,” she replied, snuggling in next to him. “Anyway, you started it this afternoon,” she grinned. “Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it.” She took great delight in echoing his earlier statement.

Silence filled the room and she briefly worried she may have overstepped boundaries. But then warm arms encircled her, wrapping her in a cocoon of warmth. In response she hooked her arm across his torso.

“Fine,” he replied dramatically. “I suppose I can put up with you in here.” She moved and poked his stomach. Roy flinched. “Hey!”

“Speaking of babies –” she began dryly. A hand lifted to her neck, where she was notoriously ticklish. “Don’t you fucking _dare_.”

“Maybe I will. Call it revenge.” In the darkness she couldn’t see his face but she could certainly hear the wicked grin on his face just from the tone of Roy’s voice.

“Do you want to wake James?” she warned, panic rising in her at the thought of being tickled. The hand stilled under the duvet cover and lowered.

“Fair point,” he grumbled.

“Anyway, speaking of babies, I slept like one at New Year. I don’t know about you.” The arms around her tightened and she shifted her head, her cheek finding a more comfortable position on his bare chest. She inhaled his smell which was wholly _Roy_. It offered a comfort nobody else could give her. “And I think it would be stupid to waste this opportunity while we have it.”

“I couldn’t agree with you more.”

So the two huddled under the warm bed cover, sighing contently against each other. This felt _right_. This should be the norm. But it couldn’t be. Not yet, anyway. And like she already said, she wasn’t going to waste the opportunity.

The thought occurred to her many times the night before but she didn’t have the guts to do it. After their morning walk she knew there and then that she would sneak into Roy’s bed that night. Nothing needed to happen. She just wanted to be close to him. Their time would come, but it wasn’t yet. Plus, she wouldn’t feel comfortable doing anything with James just across the hall. So she would settle for secret trysts in the night to share each other’s bed like this. She would take chaste, secretive kisses in the meantime because she knew they were both in this for the long run.

They were meant to be together. Pure and simple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cue my longest uwu ever


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what is self control and pacing yourself lmao

Roy rolled his neck to work out the kinks that had taken residence in his muscles. He was bone tired. So was Havoc. Said partner swayed on his feet before righting himself suddenly.

And they still had a long way to go.

“Ready?” Roy asked Havoc. His partner nodded. “Let’s do this.”

He retrieved his jacket from the back of his desk chair and bent to pick up his work rucksack. His legs and back protested to the action, both preferring to remain resting and still for as long as possible.

They had already been working for the past twelve hours. Both detectives had been running around the office all morning chasing up paperwork for his father’s case. Armstrong had pushed them both onto other more urgent cases for the past two and a half weeks so the pile had been left to build up with more tasks being added to Roy’s mental to-do list. It was currently Thursday night of what both detectives had dubbed Week Three of Hell and they had just finished eating take out for their dinner. Roy found himself wondering when the last time he had a decent home cooked meal. But the day was far from over because they still had to meet with Clarice one last time before compiling all their evidence.

Roy rubbed his face tiredly as he got behind the wheel of his car. He hadn’t slept well last night. His mind refused to shut off due to a number of things. First and foremost it was the anticipation of finally closing his father’s case. He thought that if all went well today they would be able to confirm the final details and gain a warrant for the man’s arrest.

Things had taken longer than usual to finish up their cases from the start of the week but they had done it. A giddiness had set in his bones at the thought of this whole thing being over, but he wasn’t sure if it was wholly because of his happiness. Sleep deprivation probably played a large part in it too.

Second of all, Riza had entered his thoughts all the more frequently lately. He wasn’t going to complain at all however he hadn’t seen her properly since Olivier decided to push them both onto these cases. This dry spell after getting home from their trip three weeks ago was un _ending_ and Roy kept her in his thoughts as a way to keep himself sane. He kept telling himself just to power through and close those cases, then work on the one concerning his father. After that he would be able to see her as often as he liked.

Providing all went well.

The Mayor was a smart man. He surrounded himself with rich and powerful people. He had almost every lawyer and cop in his pocket. He even had approached Catalina a week ago. Havoc had been furious but she had accepted.

“This way you will have someone on the inside.”

“No. Absolutely not,” Havoc fumed. “This has nothing to do with you.”

“Thanks _Jean_ , but if I can help I will.”

“I don’t like it.”

“You don’t have to like it but I am doing it anyway.”

Roy had watched the two stare each other down, both too stubborn to relent to the other. “Havoc, why don’t you take five? Come back once you have calmed down.”

The blonde detective had looked at him incredulously. “Are you serious?”

“Dead serious.”

With a glare Havoc stormed out of the room.

“I can take care of myself,” Rebecca huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

“He knows that. So do I. You know how he worries.”

Her scowl lessened and she sighed. “I just want to help. I want to help Riza.” Roy appreciated that. It was nice to know someone else supported their case. “And if is the way I can do it then I will. Neither of you get a say anyway.”

“I respect that. Just be careful.”

A mutual understanding had set in with the two officers.

Havoc of course still wasn’t happy but Roy explained it to him on the drive to their rendezvous point. The blonde detective had continued to mumble angrily to himself about it through the week.

“If we have someone on the inside even to simply observe then it could help us. She won’t be doing anything crazy. If we know his methods and can get evidence of buying cops then it is another piece of evidence in our favour.”

“I won’t have her risk her life for something like this. We _both_ know what he is capable of.”

Roy felt his anger rise to the surface. It spiked as he caught Havoc’s meaning. Oh, Roy knew all right. It would make the victory of putting the bastard away all that more satisfying.

“I am well aware,” he replied, schooling his features and forcing his voice into a deadly calm. “However Officer Catalina has expressed interest in helping our case. For Riza’s sake. The pair have already been through so much together you are crazy if you think any one of us is going to take that away from her.” His last sentence left him as a bark, unable to keep as tight a rein on that anger as he would have liked.

Silence descended on the pair and Havoc eventually sagged. “You’re right.”

In regards to his father’s capabilities, Roy still tried so fucking hard to forget what had happened the last time he had come face to face with the man at his Aunt’s house around Christmas. White hot rage filled him to this day whenever he thought about it. That had happened five months ago but even now Roy wanted to throttle the man.

He had told himself if Richard brought any harm to Riza or James, Roy would kill him.

_That was something legal the man could bet on._

The words rang in his head and his grip on the wheel tightened.

“You okay?” Havoc asked warily, eyeing Roy’s death grip on the steering wheel. His knuckles were bright white and there was a twinge in his left shoulder due to the pressure of his grip.

“Peachy.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to bring it up like that.”

“It’s fine.” His reply was curt because the anger still simmered just under the surface.

“I still can’t believe he did that.” Havoc slapped his thighs, appearing to get a second wind. “It will make putting him away even more satisfying.”

Roy pulled into the parking lot of Central Library. They were meeting Clarice here in ten minutes but the two detectives opted to arrive early. They would just be sitting idle at the office otherwise and that was a recipe for falling asleep at their desks.

“Good evening,” the librarian greeted them quietly. Barely sparing them another glance she returned to the work in front of her.

Both detectives nodded in her direction before steering themselves left to where Walter Grumman was already waiting. He had booked out a study room so they could discuss this matter in private. With it being almost ten o’clock at night there weren’t many other people around anyway.

“Good evening gentleman,” he greeted. The pair noted his change in demeanour since their last meeting. Gone was the toothy grin and cheery tone. His voice was schooled in professionalism. Expression neutral and patient he waited for them to join him at the table.

The abrupt change got Roy thinking. Was it all an act? An act to keep others around him from figuring out _exactly_ what it was he as up to? Roy knew who lay underneath that bubbly exterior, but he had never seen Grumman act like this before. He was aware of just how cunning and ruthless the man before the two detectives could be, but the mask of elderly government official had always been present. It was jarring to see the Financial Minister this way.

“Good evening,” they greeted, each choosing a chair across from Grumman.

“I hope you are well?” he asked, looking pointedly at Roy who nodded in return.

“I am.”

“Nasty things, stand offs. My granddaughter was involved in one once.” His eyes continued to bore into Roy. “So I know all too well the impact they can have upon somebody.” Then, abruptly, he leaned back in his chair with a smile. “I am glad you are all right my boy.”

“Thank you,” Roy replied, although he felt like adding a questioning lilt to the end of it. What was _that_ all about? Also, he wasn’t aware Grumman had any family. Not that they were close enough to have discussed such things, but he had simply gotten the impression the man was alone. There was no mention of a wife, no photos of family members on his desk.

Clarice breezed into the room as the door closed quietly behind her. A soft _snick_ reached their ears as she reached for the remaining chair, sitting in it gracefully.

“Gentleman,” she greeted. “I do apologise for being late.”

“Nonsense,” Grumman replied, waving away her apology. “We are simply incredibly early.”

With a smile she nodded and placed her designer bag on the table. Roy took one look at it and could tell that accessory cost more than he would make in a week. It was large in size, which was incredibly useful for Clarice judging by the number of files she extracted.

“Let’s get down to it,” she suggested but the three men knew there was no room for argument. Roy certainly wouldn’t protest. He just wanted to sleep.

“This conversation has to go on the record,” Havoc explained. “Just so we are clear.”

Both Grumman and Clarice nodded in agreement.

Clarice ran through the four folders which now sat atop the table. She pushed one towards Roy and Havoc. “Evidence of embezzlement,” Clarice announced. Grumman and the two detectives eyed the folder. “From Richard’s accountant.” The next one was a smaller folder, but it had eye witness accounts of extortion. From some of the accounts – there were five in total – Roy felt his hatred of the man grow. Another contained evidence of tax evasion, while the last one – and the thickest – contained documents regarding some questionable cargo leaving Aerugo which was signed off by the Mayor’s secretary.

“How…” Havoc began, trailing off as he reached for the last folder she offered.

“Paul has been gathering this information for years. It has been extremely difficult under the watchful eye of Richard, but he risked everything to do so.”

“Why does he still work for the man?” Grumman asked, his sharp eyes scanning the document on tax evasion.

Clarice fell silent for a moment. A displeased look crossed her face, then it was gone. “I have recently learned that Richard threatened his family.” Her usually calm expression twisted once more. “He threatened Paul’s parents to keep him in line and stop Paul from venturing where he shouldn’t.”

“That sounds familiar,” Roy muttered to himself. Three sets of eyes rose to look at him, but Roy ignored it. Havoc and Clarice were sympathetic, whereas Grumman looked slightly alarmed.

Clarice pulled out three cards from inside her jacket. “Paul has requested you call him should you have any further questions or enquiries.”

“How do you know this man?” Grumman asked, picking up the card produced for him. Roy could hear the undercurrent tone to Grumman’s question. _Can we trust him?_

A soft smile overtook her features. It spoke of a relationship that was more than platonic. “Paul has been a dear friend of mine for years.” The way she spoke about this man… There was no denying she cared a great deal for him. It must have been hard to live with being married to the Mayor when her heart clearly belonged to someone else. Also, they were stuck in a bind like Roy and Riza. Unable to move because of that psychopath breathing down their necks.

“Have you any plans for the future?” Roy asked carefully. “After this case is over?” He already knew she planned to divorce her husband.

“Just the divorce. And who knows,” she smiled wistfully, gaze drifting towards the business card. “Maybe things will work out the way I hoped in the end.”

“You love him, don’t you?” Roy asked.

Grumman looked to him, confused, while Havoc awaited her answer just like his partner.

Clarice smiled brightly. “I do. Paul has helped me so much through the years. He has been my rock, to put it simply.”

Roy nodded, wishing her his best.

After the shooting and his recovery, Roy had contacted Clarice once more. He was extremely grateful for the file regarding her mother. Upon enquiring about how the Mayor’s wife knew about her when even Roy couldn’t find out about his mother, the woman explained they used to work together in City Hall. Paul was the one who had gained access to the file through hacking the Mayor’s work computer and accessing personnel records.

The man had been paid off to be silent by the Mayor, however Roy had an inkling this man must have been an excellent actor. Apparently he played the stressed out, anxious accountant role well. It made his father complacent and offered Paul access to all the files on his office computer, as well as his home one.

Roy knew Clarice was hurt by the news regarding Richard’s affair with his mother. The fact that her new husband at the time had cheated on her so easily with someone she worked with. It was a true kick in the teeth and, to be honest, something Roy wasn’t entirely surprised his father had done. He was a bastard through and through.

“I suppose now I know why Ruth left her job so suddenly,” Clarice mused. Roy waited to hear a hint of hatred in her tone, but there was none. He was ready to jump in and defend his mother, regardless of not knowing the whole story, but he needn’t have worried. Clarice appeared to favour the woman’s side rather than her husband’s. “I really enjoyed her company. She was one of the first friends I made there…” The woman trailed off, eyes glazing over as she returned to a memory from long ago.

“I did not particularly see that one coming,” Grumman admitted, bringing Roy’s attention back to the table. “However I wish you well in all your endeavours, Clarice.”

“Thank you, Walter.”

Roy supposed he did to. She had proved herself in his eyes to be trustworthy. While he wouldn’t say he trusted her with his life, she was clearly committed to this cause after all the hardship she had endured. She had something to lose as well if this all went south.

“I just want him to face justice. For what he has done to both this city and the innocent people who have been unfortunate to cross his path.” Clarice turned her eyes upon Roy. He caught her meaning. Roy’s mother had been her friend once too.

Roy took a deep breath, letting it loose in a rush. This was it.

It felt almost too good to be true. It had felt _too_ easy towards the end, even with his personal setback and missing out on two weeks of progress. This whole case was a gamble both personally and professionally. Personally, the people of Central and all his father’s rich and powerful friends would become aware of his identity and their connection. Professionally, the Mayor had enough slimy lawyers in his pocket that could talk the skin off a snake so there was every chance he could walk out of this a free man. Catalina hadn’t overheard much, but she did learn it wasn’t the Mayor she directly spoke to, it was someone else entirely. Apparently a man called Klemin.

It appeared there would be a whole network to take down

Never mind. Cut the head off a snake and the body dies with it.

He could lose everything in this.

But he could also gain so much more.

Forcing that previous thought out of his head before he could become too excited, Roy refocussed his attention upon his co-conspirators.

“This is everything we need,” he confirmed, pulling each folder towards him. After neatly stacking them Havoc took them off his hands and placed them in his rucksack. “I trust we can call upon you as a witness, should the occasion arise?” Roy looked at Grumman and Clarice in turn.

“Of course,” Grumman replied. “I am simply doing my job and duty as an Amestrian citizen.”

Clarice nodded. “I agree with Walter. This doesn’t make up for all the terrible things I have turned a blind eye to because I truly didn’t want to believe it. But it is a start.”

The two detectives took their leave and headed back to the office.

“Coffee?” Havoc asked tiredly.

“Sure.”

The blonde detective left to retrieve the caffeine that would get them through the next couple of hours while they cross checked all their new files with evidence they have already gathered. They were in for a long night and it was only eleven o’clock.

Rolling his shoulders once more, Roy grimaced as his left shoulder protested slightly but didn’t offer any further pain. He took a deep breath and started with the smallest file in the pile.

* * *

“We interrupt this program for an important news story.”

“Ladies and gentleman, breaking news,” the news anchor announced quickly. Riza noted their tone with interest and found herself turning away from the sink bringing the glass she had been drying with her. She had never seen a news story interrupt scheduled programming before. This must be something big. A brief feeling of dread coiled in her stomach at the uncertainty of what it could be. Anticipation prickled her skin.

“Just moments ago the Mayor of Central was arrested.”

Riza dropped the glass she had been drying. The glass shattered at her feet, scattering across the tile of her kitchen floor. Her mind stuttered as it tried to comprehend the words, although there was an unnerving feeling that she had already processed the news. She just couldn’t believe it. Her brain begun to race a mile a minute, tuning the news report out, Riza opting to simply stare at the screen instead. After a mental shake – realising she was missing out on what was being said – Riza forced herself to shut her mind off and listen.

“…believed to have been convicted on several crimes, including extortion, tax evasion, and embezzlement. This story is just developing and we will update as soon as we learn more…”

The news bulletin flashed off and the screen turned black. The sitcom Riza had on in the background popped back on, the laugh track echoing through the suddenly very still apartment.

The Mayor had been arrested.

That was what the newscaster said.

Was it…over?

Arrested…

_Roy._

A million thoughts ran through her mind, both blinding and deafening her, unable to focus on just one.

She wanted to… She didn’t know what she wanted to do. There were so many conflicting emotions in her mind. She wanted to run to Roy. She wanted to laugh. She wanted to celebrate.

Riza opted for letting out a long sigh of relief instead. Tears sprung to her eyes and she brought a hand to her grinning mouth, covering it as she supressed a happy sob.

He would be working for another couple of hours. He wouldn’t be home. There had been no mention of the case recently. The pair had opted to focus on their relationship – as secretive as it was – rather than focusing on the threat. As long as they were careful both agreed it could go ahead.

That, and she had barely seen him for the last three weeks. To go from being so close in the lodge to barely seeing him had been jarring.

She was restless for the rest of the day. James noticed her distracted demeanour while they were driving home from school. It was later than usual because he played hockey after school on a Friday night. As Riza manoeuvred her way through rush hour traffic she incessantly tapped her nails against the gear stick.

Roy was normally home by this time in the day. She needed to see him. There was a burning in her chest just to see his face and confirm what she had heard on the news.

That it really was all over.

“Are you all right Mum?” James asked quietly.

“Huh?” she asked distractedly, her attention dragged away by the maniac that had pulled out of the junction unexpectedly, causing Riza to slam on the breaks and beep the horn. “Idiot,” she muttered.

James fell silent, sensing the shift in the mood.

“Sorry buddy,” Riza sighed. “I didn’t mean to ignore you. I was preoccupied.”

“What does that mean?” he asked, peeking around the driver’s chair to stare at her face.

“My attention was focussed on driving rather than listening to you. Sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

“That’s okay.”

However this afternoon turned from mildly irritating to worse because when Riza pulled up in front of her apartment building there was a swarm of what looked like reporters outside the front door. The downside was that the lift in the parking garage was out of order until Monday so they had to use the main entrance.

And walk through that throng of people.

All of them turned as they heard her approach, peering into the car.

“Who are all these people?” James asked, staring right back at them.

“I don’t know.”

Riza and James walked towards the front door of their apartment building warily. As soon as they approached the group they all swarmed her.

“Excuse me!”

“Do you live here? Do you know if we can contact Roy Mustang?”

“We are from the Central Times –”

“What apartment does he live in?”

“Miss? This will only take a moment of your time.”

Riza wrapped an arm around James’s shoulders protectively. The boy in turn ogled up at all the people in wonder, not terrified in the slightest.

The front door to the apartment building banged open and Roy angrily stormed out. Riza and James were quickly forgotten and the group ran towards him.

“Mr. Mustang!”

“Mr. Mustang we have a few questions!”

“Can we ask you some questions?”

His face was like thunder as he glared at them all. A few sensed the heat of his gaze and backed down, lowering their voices and eventually trailing off. Others were either unaffected – no doubt used to hostility – or completely unaware of the severity of his glare.

His gaze lifted and found Riza’s. It softened slightly, but then another microphone was shoved into his face. Boy did the man regret that decision as the glare returned and Roy muttered a few choice words to him. The reporter may have scuttled away with his tail between his legs but another just took his place.

Roy jerked his chin at her, beckoning her inside. However that was easier said than done. He pushed through the throng and made a gap for them both, taking her hand and leading her up the stairs and behind the safety of the front door while they all shouted through the glass, begging for an interview.

Riza set her eyes on his face which looked awful. There were dark bags under his eyes and he looked _tired_. Not like he maybe hadn’t slept well the night before, but a tiredness that appeared to be permanently set in his face. His eyelids drooped now that they were somewhere quiet and he didn’t need to glare at any invasive reporters. His shoulders rounded like a weight was pressing down on him. There was stubble on his face like he hadn’t shaved in two or three days. She had never seen him like this and it worried her.

“Are you all right?” Riza asked.

He met her gaze, those tired eyes shining brightly despite the fatigue present in his body language.

“I am. Sorry about them.” He jerked his thumb angrily to the people still crowding the door. “They showed up about an hour ago. I didn’t think to text you and warn you.”

How did he know she was out? Had he tried to see her in her apartment? The realisation set in as he nodded, noticing that realisation dawn on her. Butterflies filled her stomach, excitement beginning to course through her.

“That was a lot of people,” James commented, craning around his mother to look back at the front door. The noise had begun to die down as they gave up. “Did they all want to talk to you?”

“Yes,” Roy answered. “Don’t worry, I have called Havoc and asked for officers to come and chase them off.”

“Oh. That’s good then! They were very noisy.”

The trio rode up in the lift together in silence. Riza wanted to say _so much_. But James wouldn’t understand and she didn’t want to confuse her son. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, willing for the lift to _ding_ soon.

However after parting ways into their own apartments no conversation was had. James had homework to complete for Monday which they always completed on a Friday night. It had become tradition over the years as it left the weekend free for mother and son to do something together. Rebecca had already been round after dinner to pick James up. She and Jean were heading to the cinema and opted to take James with them. Then he was heading to their house overnight and Riza would pick him up tomorrow afternoon.

So, at half past six, Riza was left alone in her apartment at a loss of what to do. She flopped onto her couch exhausted. The apartment was silent with the occasional creak from the air con unit. Traffic sounded outside, the occasional beeping of horns filling the quiet space and her mind. The news from the afternoon returned to her. She was still unsure what to do.

Turning the television on, the six o’clock news was still playing and her heart leapt in her chest, filling with hope as she recalled watching the news from this afternoon.

Riza had never been a person who made the first move. She was always reserved and had held herself back on more than one occasion. She blended in to the background, never drawing attention to herself. It was James who had always been the centre of attention anyway. He was loud and outgoing, the complete opposite of her. She was more than pleased though. He had never known a reason to be quiet and shy away from anyone or anything. She had. It made her happy to know he was a happy child. She counted that as a success. If she was being perfectly honest, any childhood Riza could have provided for her child that was happier than her own, would have been a success. It wouldn’t have been difficult to do, after all.

So when it came to who would make the first move regarding moving their relationship to the next level, she was elated, but unsure of how to actually go about it. They had always spoken about the _after_ , which was actually way in the future. Never about what they would actually do the moment the news dropped that the Mayor had been arrested. Riza still laughed quietly in disbelief. It almost sounded too good to be true. The Mayor had been put away and had no way to hurt her or Roy anymore.

It was finally over.

A knock at the door roused her from her thoughts. With a heavy sigh she dragged herself through to the hallway. Recent events had taught her the importance of checking who was at her door by looking through the peephole. Even with her father in prison now, she couldn’t help but feel slightly terrified every time somebody knocked.

It had taken some time for them to return to her apartment. It was the middle of January before Riza felt ready to return. James appeared to be fine so far but there were still nightmares. It was easier now, but in that first week he had crawled into her bed crying quietly. She had simply embraced him and lulled him back to sleep, reassuring her son she was there and he was safe.

For a few weeks Riza couldn’t enter the living room without seeing Roy’s body jerk back and hit the wall by the door. She didn’t even look at the spot. Now, she could. She brought herself to inspect it closely, facing her fears. It had brought with it a great deal of anxiety at first but she didn’t shy away. Her heart beating wildly in her chest, she embraced the memory of their conversation as Roy lay there in his own blood, dying on her carpet. She relived it because it was the only way she would be able to move on.

Riza’s heart rate picked up as she spotted just the person she wanted to see on the other side of the door.

Removing the chain and pulling open the door, she simply stared at Roy as he gave her the same treatment.

“Is it…?” she began. He knew what she meant. There was no way he couldn’t.

The hand that had been rubbing at his neck dropped to his side. Then he nodded.

“Yes.”

There was so much emotion in that one word that Riza couldn’t take it anymore. Happiness burst in her chest. It was so overwhelming she felt tears spring to her eyes as she threw her arms around his neck. She laughed quietly in disbelief one final time as she kissed him.

Roy was shocked initially, the action unexpected. But he responded in kind without a moment’s hesitation. He stepped over the threshold, slamming the door closed behind him, probably with his foot and the bang resonated through the empty apartment. They bumped into the wall, the momentum from his movement throwing Riza off balance. They both laughed against each other, breaking apart for breath. Foreheads resting together, the pair closed their eyes as they basked in the closeness. A feeling neither had let themselves truly experience before because if they did, there would have been no tearing them apart.

“You did it?” Riza asked breathlessly. Her hand stroked his neck gently and she noticed him shiver.

“We did it.”

She kissed him again, smiling as he groaned quietly against her mouth. Her hands moved into his hair, twirling it around her fingers as Roy let his arms drop to her waist. His hands lifted her shirt just enough so he could feel the bare skin of her waist. It sent a jolt through her feeling his hand on her like that.

“I am proud of you,” Riza whispered.

It took a few more bumps against the wall of the hallway, the pair chuckling as they went. Roy’s low laugh was music to her ears and sent a flush over her skin, heating up even more than his current ministrations against her skin. He was fire, pure and unadulterated. He spread it over her skin, igniting it as he went, either unaware or uncaring of the effect his touch had on her. Judging by the predatory smirk on his face, he knew _exactly_ how he affected her. It left her breathless.

Damn him. But damn him if he stopped.

Riza tugged Roy into her bedroom and the two tumbled onto the sheets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops my hand slipped

Roy awoke to the sound of birdsong outside. He blinked as he stared at the ceiling, noting it was slightly different from the one he usually woke up to. His was plain but this had swirls of paint, each leading nowhere in particular before it was cut off by another sequence.

He couldn’t help the huge grin that appeared on his face as he remembered exactly where he was. Riza sighed in her sleep under his right arm, snuggling in closer to his body. He tightened his grip on her shoulder, content to have her head lying on his shoulder. Her hair tickled his skin but he was loath to move it. So instead, he took the opportunity and twirled the golden tresses around his fingers, marvelling at their softness. After tangling it up, he ran his hands through their length. She usually kept her hair pinned up. It was always a treat to see it free and spilling over her shoulders like it was now. He had always marvelled at how beautiful she looked with it down.

He smiled as he remembered meeting her for the first time outside this very apartment. She had worn her hair down then. It had grown in length since then. At their first meeting it had fallen past her shoulders, but was no longer than her shoulder blades. Now, it snaked down her back, stopping about midway.

What he also noticed, in the light of the morning, where various scars on the skin of her back. His hands stilled as his eyes widened, noting a long, pale part of skin that travelled from just below her shoulder blade to halfway down her back. It looked… awful.

Anger surged inside him.

 _Who had done this to her_?

Riza stirred, sleep desperately clinging to her mind, refusing to be shaken free. She sighed happily before bidding him good morning as a sleepy smile formed on her face. However, upon seeing the look on his face she froze.

“What?” she asked concerned.

“Your back.”

Those two words caused Riza to go rigid. Her face stricken, she sat upright quickly and angled it away from Roy’s view. She was hiding from him.

“They are… from a long time ago.”

“How long?” Roy enquired, his voice low. He tried to calm himself but it was extremely difficult. That wasn’t simply some accident. Someone had done that to Riza and he had a pretty fucking good idea who. She had mentioned her father’s abuse before. But seeing evidence of it… _physical reminders_ of it. He almost vomited.

Roy was sure she wasn’t going to answer, but Riza finally did. Her voice was barely above a whisper. “Sixteen years ago.”

Rage threatened to consume him. His hands shook with his anger. Even balling them into fists didn’t help.

“ _He_ did this?” he growled. He would fucking _kill_ Berthold Hawkeye the next time he saw him.

Riza nodded. It was so miniscule but Roy could tell by the way she curled in on herself even more that was the truth. Riza clutched the bed cover closer to her body, pulling it away from him and exposing his skin to the cool morning air.

It was a good job her father was in prison because Roy would be up and out the door by now.

“Roy, please,” she whispered.

That broken whisper… Her childhood had not been kind to her. Roy knew that. This topic was still something that was very raw to Riza. He doubted she had even told Catalina what had happened. Her body language alone confirmed that thought. If he got angry it would solve nothing. It wouldn’t make Riza feel better. It wouldn’t take away the pain from sixteen years ago. It would only bring her more pain and that was something he promised himself he would never do again.

So, schooling his anger and reigning it in tightly Roy took a deep breath. Then another.

“Come here,” he commanded gently.

From under her bangs, Riza glanced up at him.

She was ashamed of them, he realised.

Roy grasped her hand and pulled her still rigid body back down to rest her head on his chest. She remained still, stiffening even more when his hand came to rest on her back. He rubbed it soothingly, trying not to focus too much on the ridges of it. In the heat of last night he hadn’t even noticed. He was more than occupied with other parts of her body that he never had the chance.

“I love you,” he murmured as she slowly began to relax. “Scars and all.” He hushed her quietly, continuing to rub her back as tears wet his skin and she cried quietly against him. “He’s gone now. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

Riza shook her head, her hair tickling him once more.

“It’s not that,” she whispered.

“What is it?” he asked gently.

“It’s the fact you care so much. I didn’t think I would ever find someone who would.”

 _That_ broke his heart. She deserved so much love. Riza had been starved of it as a child which made him all the more determined to ensure she felt loved for the rest of her days.

“I love you so much, Riza Hawkeye,” Roy murmured. “That I didn’t think it was possible. If you were to actually leave me I don’t think I would be able to function properly.” He chuckled to himself. “Not to be dramatic.”

“Oh no,” she replied dryly. “You are _never_ dramatic.”

“Never,” Roy replied vehemently. “These last three weeks have been hell because I barely saw you. I don’t want to live in a world where I return home day after day without the possibility of seeing your face.” His hand stilled on her back as he readjusted the position of his head, kissing the top of her head. “Every word of that is the truth.”

“I know,” she replied quietly. A hand had made its way atop his stomach and it formed a fist. “It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it,” she added. “It’s just… really hard still. To talk to _anyone_ ,” she reassured him. “I trusted my father. Then he did this.” The grip on her shoulder tightened protectively. “I don’t know why I didn’t move further away. I don’t know why I didn’t do _more_.”

“You were just a kid.”

“Because of my treatment I was too submissive and weak willed to stand up for myself.”

“ _Don’t_ put yourself down,” Roy growled. “What that bastard did to you is unforgivable and it was not your fault. I wish I had fired more than once.” His voice turned bitter.

“I wouldn’t want that.” Riza’s voice was hard and forceful. “I don’t want you to kill on my behalf. I mean, Jesus Christ, I don’t want you killing _anyone_.”

Roy had no reply to her statement, so steered it back to reassuring this woman of her strength and abilities. “You are the strongest person I know,” he reassured her after a few moments of silence. “I wish I could harbour even just half of that. To have lived through… _that_ and grow up to be as loving and caring as you are… I am amazed.”

Silence fell once more and Roy returned to stroking her back. Every now and then she would shiver against his body when he brushed over her spine and he’d smirk.

Last night she had been _very_ responsive to his touch. It made him want to go for round two this morning but after that heavy conversation and the length of time they have spent fighting being together, he was content to relax with her in his arms.

“I don’t know if I ever told you…” Riza began. He noticed her swallow uncertainly but Roy didn’t push it. “About Matt?”

“You didn’t,” he replied gently. His hand returned to her shoulder while hers moved up to his left shoulder. Her fingers circled around the scar tissue before her hand flattened atop it.

“He was James’ father.”

Silence reigned as she awaited Roy to answer. He digested the information, a hand instinctively tightening its grip on her shoulder protectively. The man who had hurt her. The man who had left her to raise their child by herself.

What kind of man does that?

 _You hurt her too, remember,_ a cruel voice whispered back in his head.

Swallowing and acknowledging his guilt and the knot in his stomach, he urged her to continue in her own time.

“We met in high school,” she began. Her voice took on a wistful tone as she reminisced about those happy times. Her fingers returned to making circles on his bare shoulder. “We thought we were in love, the way teenagers think they are.”

Roy chuckled. “I have been there.”

“We passed through high school and were together for a couple of months after it. We fooled around a bit and one day I realised my period was late. So I panicked but didn’t quite believe being pregnant was actually the reason for it. I told myself I was freaking out over nothing and waited a few days.”

Her breath hitched as she sighed and Roy soothed her quietly by rubbing her shoulder. A wordless offer for her to stop if she wanted to and to show he would offer any comfort he could to ease her pain.

“I told him I was pregnant. I told him and he panicked. Well, he did at first.” She shifted against him, moving to wrap an arm tightly around his torso. Her fingers ghosted against his sides, which he flinched from.

“That tickles,” he blurted out. It was a reaction and entirely inappropriate for the moment but he needn’t have worried, because Riza craned her neck and smirked up at him.

“Noted,” she replied.

“I don’t think I like the sound of that,” he huffed.

She made a non-committal noise then shifted herself up the bed so her head lay on the pillow. He rolled over to face her, eyes taking in her downcast gaze as she replayed those old memories in her head.

God, he loved her. She was so open and vulnerable right now. A side he rarely got to see. Every emotion was so raw and honest that he found his heart aching for her.

Because he was now able to – and also because he couldn’t help himself – he brought his hand up to her face, resting his palm against her cheek. Kissing her forehead once, he rested his own against it. Their breaths mingled together. It was such an intimate moment. Roy wanted to cherish this forever.

“He panicked at first. Then we agreed to let him sleep on it.” Roy frowned to himself. Surely there wasn’t much to think about? The boy had a kid on the way. Regardless of his relationship with Riza, he had a responsibility to James. They had both been consenting adults.

As if sensing Roy’s train of thought, she further explained. “We were young and stupid. We didn’t expect it to happen, but I honesty wouldn’t trade my son for the world.” He watched a smile appear on her face. “Even for you,” she joked.

“I wouldn’t blame you,” he smirked. His hand moved from her cheek to wrap around her shoulders. He pulled her body against his while she sighed happily. Both Riza’s hands found their way to his chest while her head remained on the pillow, but his arm snaked underneath her neck.

He simply wanted to hold her close. He wanted to touch her, be as near to her as possible. There was no other excuse and he would make none. Not anymore.

“After I told my father he kicked me out.” The tone of the conversation shifted drastically and Roy felt the dread pool in his stomach. “He threw abuse at me and effectively banished me from my own home.”

“Riza, I am so sorry.”

She shook her head. “It was a long time ago.”

“That doesn’t excuse it.”

“It doesn’t matter now.” Her voice strengthened, the tone firm. “I no longer have a father.”

The room was filled with only the sound of their breathing and the birdsong from outside. There was so much he wanted to say but couldn’t find the appropriate words.

“I don’t know if Berthold said anything to Matt or not, but the next day he was gone. His mother looked down on me as she told me he wouldn’t be seeing me anymore. She looked at me as if this was all my fault.”

“It wasn’t.” Roy’s reply was fierce. “You were both adults.”

She smiled against him. “I know. Don’t worry. She was a horrible old woman anyway. I never really liked her. Always looked down on me so it was nothing new.”

“How anyone could do that to you is beyond me,” Roy admitted, baffled. “You are the most wonderful woman I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.” Her smile widened. “And I have met a _few_.”

She playfully smacked his shoulder and he chuckled.

“What about you?” she asked. “Any past lovers I should look out for? Any Mustang kids running around I should be aware of?”

He chuckled once more, his heart expanded with love as he admired her sharp wit and sense of humour.

“No, nothing like that. I was not very exciting before I met you.”

“I find that hard to believe. You are a very handsome bachelor. Who wouldn’t want to get with you?”

“I thank you for your very high and completely justified praise,” he laughed. “But as you can imagine, things weren’t exactly _easy_. I played safe rather than sorry.”

“Oh. Right.”

They had already had this conversation. Roy kept to himself over the last few years so nobody he loved, or grew to love, would be targeted by his father.

“However,” he added. “You came along and blew all those plans out of the water. You took my breath away the moment I met you outside that front door. It didn’t take long for me to fall in deep.” They both laughed quietly. “It just took a little longer for it to penetrate my thick skull.”

“I must admit, I was the same.”

“When did you know?” he asked curiously.

Riza tilted her head in thought. “I think it happened when I found you half naked in my kitchen one morning,” she grinned. He chuckled at the memory.

“Did you like what you saw?”

“Not really,” she deadpanned. “The body could do with a bit of work.” She laughed when a finger poked her stomach. “I knew I didn’t want to lose you at that point. You have done so much for both me and James, and the boy adores you. The night of the benefit, after you explained everything was when I think I finally admitted it to myself. You walked out of that door and I saw our future go with it. That wasn’t what I wanted.” She took a deep breath, shaking off the sadness that came with that memory. They were happy now, that was what mattered. “What about you?”

“When the Mayor threatened you at the benefit. It scared me to death and I told him I would kill him if he laid a finger on you. Almost did at my Aunt’s house at Christmas.”

“Really?” Riza asked quietly, angling her head up to look at him. Roy’s eyes met hers, flashing painfully as he remembered what an ass hat he had been.

He nodded. “When he admitted to phoning your father I lost it. Everything was red and all I could see was his head on a spike.”

She inched upwards and kissed his jaw. “Thank you. For looking out for not only me, but for James as well all this time.”

“It has been my pleasure.”

“I mean it,” Riza urged. “You didn’t have to. You could have kept us at arm’s length and backed off but you cared.” Her eyes turned downcast again. A habit she exhibited, he realised, when she was ashamed or shy about admitting something. “Not many people in my life have ever shown me that. It meant the world to me.”

The kiss they shared afterwards was slow and loving. Roy made the first move, moving the arm currently resting around her shoulders to lift her chin up higher. He searched her gaze but found unapologetic love and affection for him. So he kissed her. Once again, he felt thrilled to be able to do so after so many months of hardship. When they broke apart, he did it again just because he could.

“Did you ever forgive Matt?” Roy asked, hugging her body even tighter against his.

“I think I have,” she replied. “It was a long, long time ago. But I guess I won’t know until he is standing in front of me.”

“I can find him and kick his ass if you like,” he half joked. “Being a detective can be very useful for these kind of things.”

She smiled against his chest. “I don’t need you to fight my battles for me, but I appreciate the sentiment anyway. All I ask is that you watch my back and I’ll watch yours.”

“Of course. Always.”

The two lapsed into silence. They had a lot to process. But for now they were content. It was a much needed chat. It cleared the air on a number of counts. Now, with the past discussed and behind them, Roy decided to look forward.

In regards to his father there would be trial. His work was far from over but it had begun and there was no way he was going to blow this opportunity. The captain had congratulated him before he left work yesterday. With Olivier Armstrong backing him up there was nothing that would stop his father from wriggling his way out of this.

The captain had ordered both Roy and Havoc to take the weekend off after their Three Weeks of Hell. That was a rare feat in itself but he wasn’t about to complain. No sooner than five minutes after Armstrong gave the order he was in his car on his way home. That was when he encountered the reporters out front. Briefly he wondered if they were still there. Roy had no plans to leave the building this weekend so they would be sorely disappointed. In all honesty he would be happy to remain here in this bed all weekend. But, as his stomach just reminded him very loudly, he needed to eat.

Riza chuckled against him. “I suppose that means you would like some breakfast.”

“I suppose it does.” She rose to stand but he grasped her hand, pulling back gently. Riza’s confused expression made him smile. “I’ll get it. You shower.” Roy watched her enter her bathroom, closing the door quietly behind her.

Boy was he in deep.

Donning his boxers and trousers that had been discarded last night, Roy made his way to the kitchen to begin making breakfast for the two of them. 

* * *

 

To say seeing a shirtless Roy make breakfast in her kitchen was not a welcome sight would be a massive lie. In fact, Riza leaned against the door frame as he watched him move, humming away to himself. She watched as the muscles in his back contracted as he reached into the cupboard above his head to retrieve a drinking glass. God she was practically drooling. Then a blush crept over her cheeks and nose as she thought about that back leaning over her last night.

 _Oh my God Riza get a_ grip, she thought to herself. _If you keep going down this path you will need another shower._

It also wasn’t lost on her how he knew exactly where to look for what he needed in her kitchen.

“Hey you,” she greeted.

He turned and grinned at her. “Hello yourself. Coming to help?”

“No,” she replied. “I think I will just enjoy the view.”

Roy smirked at her over his shoulder but didn’t protest. Riza pushed off the door frame with her shoulder and took her seat at the small table.

“For the lovely lady,” he announced with a boyish grin, depositing a plate of bacon, eggs, and sausages in front of her.

Breakfast was delivered with a flourish and was delicious. Riza expected nothing less. Ever since Roy had made that cake for James it had opened up a whole other side to him. It was intriguing. Most bachelors his age that Riza had encountered couldn’t cook for shit. Jean was lucky he had been with Rebecca since school because that man would live on take out his whole life if he lived by himself. That or instant noodles. But this man’s culinary skills were incredible. They far exceeded her expectations every time. It made her wonder what else he was capable of.

“What are your plans for the day?” he asked casually, but there was a hint of curiosity in them. Knowing Roy, he wondered if those plans could possibly include him as well.

“I need to go and pick James up from Rebecca’s this afternoon. But apart from that…”

Their eyes met.

They needed to talk. Properly. To discuss the future and their next move.

“We need to talk,” Riza stated.

“I agree.”

“I told you once I would like to be with you, Roy. In the lodge for James’ birthday.” Her hands shook as she admitted it, nerves suddenly flitting through her body. “I said I would want to continue living like that.” She took a deep breath and before she could chicken out she voiced the question that had been flying around her mind since the news broke yesterday. “Do you want the same?”

Without hesitation, he nodded. “Of course.”

His voice was soft, speaking as if the answer was obvious.

“Sorry,” she mumbled. “But I just –”

“Like to check,” he interrupted, smiling. “I know.” He leaned across the table, reaching for her hand which Riza readily provided from her lap. “You know I would move in with you in a heartbeat.”

Her heart fluttered in her chest, the organ threatening to burst forth and onto the table. Excitement coursed through her body at his words. It showed through the grin which spread across her face. Of course they had spoken of The Future, but never of any _actual_ plans for it. To have this conversation made it finally feel real.

She retracted her hand and stood from her chair, moving around to his. Cupping his face in her hands she kissed him. She lingered for a long time on his lips, smiling when his hands rose to her waist, their grip tightening.

“I love you.”

“Love you too,” he grinned.

“It is nice to be able to say it aloud,” she chuckled.

“I agree.” He pulled her onto his lap, bringing her plate across the table to rest in front of her. Riza laughed at the sudden unexpected action. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders to steady herself. A warm hand rested on her hip and she tried not to think about it too much but it was difficult. Roy could unwrap her with merely his touch and while that had frightened her before she embraced it now. She wouldn’t have it any other way.

Riza also couldn’t help but notice how effortlessly the two moved into domesticity. After breakfast Riza washed the dishes while Roy dried. It transported her back to a time before things had gotten so complicated, a time where they had shared brief touches while passing the crockery to one another. She found herself shaking her head at her past self, remembering being so surprised how right it felt to be sharing this task together. She had often thought of the future in those moments, and if she saw one with Roy in it. Not that it was actually _here_ it was more than a little hard to believe.

They had both been through so much in such a short time and had both pulled through. Together. If they could make it through that shit show then they could make it through anything.

“What are you grinning about?” An amused smirk graced Roy’s features as he raised an eyebrow in question.

“I was just thinking about the last time we did this together.”

His head cocked to the side as he thought back.

“We had been at the park in the morning, hadn’t we?”

Riza nodded. “Yes and I invited you back for lunch.”

“Well,” he chuckled. “I think it was James who pestered you into inviting me for lunch.”

Riza hummed in agreement. “I think it was, yes.”

“I remember you kept trying to hold my hand on the way home,” he grinned cheekily, mischief twinkling in his eyes.

“I did not,” she exclaimed.

“Yes you did. You kept inching closer to my side. It was very cute and I was very flattered.”

“Why were you paying attention to it so much?” she accused. “Ha!” she replied, chuckling as he opened his mouth but had no answer.

“Well how can I not notice someone practically shoving me into traffic while we walked? You almost walked me off the edge of the pavement –” he laughed as she smacked his arm.

Riza grumbled under breath something he couldn’t hear, turning back to the last plate she had to wash. Instead he just laughed again. Arms wrapped around her front, securing her tightly against his body. She smiled as she felt a kiss placed on the back of her head.

“You know I only kid.”

“I hate men who joke around,” she deadpanned.

“Well that’s too bad because you are stuck with me Miss Hawkeye whether you like it or not.” Roy stuck his tongue out at her as he snatched the plate offered to him.

With a roll of her eyes she relieved herself of her rubber gloves.

“As long as you don’t snore then you can stay. Oh _wait_ , you do snore. Huh. Shame.”

Rebecca knew as soon as the pair walked in the door that something had happened. The brunette shot Riza a knowing grin.

“You two don’t waste any time do you?” she asked bluntly, taking great pleasure in the way Roy almost choked.

“Waste time on what?” James asked, looking up at his Aunt and then between his mother and Roy.

“Yeah, Becca. Waste time on what?” Riza asked. She was used to Rebecca’s bluntness and wasn’t ashamed to admit what she and Roy had been up to last night and before they left to pick up James. It had been a weakness on her part, before they left. But she wasn’t going to complain he spoke to her _in that way_.

Rebecca simply raised an eyebrow at Riza as if to say _try me bitch_.

“It appears your mother and Roy are now together James,” she replied with a slow grin.

“Together?” James was confused. “But of course they are together.”

“Uh… What?” Roy piped up. He had apparently recovered from the shock of Rebecca’s revelation.

“Yeah. You are together right now. You came here together.”

He didn’t understand what Rebecca was getting at and the brunette knew it. She simply grinned with _that look_ in her eye. It was the look that told Riza she wasn’t afraid to open her mouth and speak her mind. That was something she had always admired about her old friend and had wished she could do herself when she was younger.

Rolling her eyes, Riza lowered herself to James’ eye level. Her son turned his perplexed gaze upon her, eyes begging her to explain to him what was going on.

“Roy and I are dating now, honey,” she told him honestly. She could almost hear Roy fidget behind her, obviously not expecting her to reveal their relationship status so soon. But to be perfectly honest their relationship had been building for months, they just couldn’t do anything about it at the time. And she was tired of hiding. She wanted to show the world she loved Roy Mustang. She had hid those feelings away for far too long. Now that their time was here she refused to do it any longer.

“Like, boyfriend and girlfriend?” he asked. When Riza nodded his eyes lit up. Turning to his Aunt, he bounced up and down. “We did it!” he yelled excitedly.

“Did what?” his mother asked.

“We got you together!” He whooped and gave a waiting Rebecca the high five she offered.

“Care to explain?”

“Let’s just say Operation Idiot One and Idiot Two was a success. Eventually!”

“And who, pray tell, is Idiot One?” Riza asked calmly, trying not to let her amusement show. This had Rebecca Catalina written all over it.

“Roy!” James exclaimed excitedly.

“Hey!” he protested, frowning. “I’m not an idiot.”

“You were when it came to Riza,” Rebecca replied without missing a beat.

“And I am Idiot Two, I presume?”

“Yeah,” James answered, but the excitement was gone. In its place was a frown. “I didn’t like that name for you. You aren’t an idiot. You are the best Mum!”

“Oh, so it is okay for me to have that title?” Roy asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes.” James blinked once then turned back to his mother, missing the shock on Roy’s face.

“Thanks,” he muttered quietly. Riza just elbowed him gently with a grin. “So you set up a plan to get us together on New Year?” Roy asked, his irritation leaking into his voice. Riza just chuckled. Of course she did.

“Yep,” Rebecca replied, completely unashamed of her actions. Not that Riza expected her to be.

“Well I am glad it worked out,” Riza announced. “Although I am an adult now, Becca. I can make and progress my own relationships.”

“I know, and that’s fine. But I will always be here to give you that extra push. What are best friends for, right?” She winked.

“She set you up on dates? How often?” Roy asked casually, but he wasn’t able to hide his surprise and, dare she say it, _jealousy_?

Of course Rebecca had tried when James was old enough. But Riza never normally bothered. She always had an excuse to not go on them. After Matt she was done with dating all together. It wasn’t until Roy popped into her life that she even begun to consider it again.

“Oh yeah. _All_ the time,” Rebecca teased. Again, she took great delight in Roy’s expression.

“Well no more for me,” Riza added. She wrapped an arm around Roy’s lower back. His arm automatically rose to her shoulders. “I think I have a keeper.”

While a kiss was pressed to the top of her head, the two women shared a grin.

“Hey!” Havoc greeted loudly, entering his apartment. He shook his body off in an effort to try and warm himself up after being out in the spring shower. Once he had hung up his wet jacket, he finally noticed Roy and Riza and the way they were standing in his living room. “Wow, you two don’t waste any time, do you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [inhuman screeching]  
> extra points if you spot the vine reference


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO EXCITED  
> the reason i was posting the chapter so quickly was so i could get to this one  
> also from now on there will be time jumps but james' age at the top will indicate how long it has been

**_James, age 10_ **

 

Roy pushed open the door to Riza’s apartment tiredly. He hadn’t been back to his in weeks. He didn’t want to think about the mothballs that probably covered all his stuff by now but her apartment had always been preferable. It was welcoming and warm, although Roy had an inkling that was more to do with the people within it.

It had been a long week at work but his father’s trial was finally over. Only just over a year later. He had been in custody for a long time – a long, unnecessary, and stressful time – given the nature of the case and the suspect before the trial even started. Then he had tried to worm his way out of his charges. It had almost worked. His father’s smug smirk told Roy he thought he had won. But the detective had one last trick up his sleeve. The money charges weren’t Roy’s biggest concern anyway.

Roy had been thrilled to learn he would be jailed for life. Embezzlement, fraud, and extortion were minimal offenses which would result in minimal jail time and a fine. But what really took the cake was his trafficking of weapons and drugs into Xing and Aerugo. That had pinned the bastard and Roy had watched as he silently fumed in his chair. There was no doubt in Roy’s mind that Richard would have killed his own son right there and then given the chance.

He had been proud of himself while presenting the evidence. He had held his anger towards the man in check throughout and apart from last name there was no way anyone could have made the connection between the two. Roy had been ruthless which appeared to take some of the jurors aback. But it proved there was no love lost between father and son. Roy told his father’s lawyer that when the man questioned their relationship.

 Dumping his rucksack by the door with a thud Roy shrugged off his black overcoat and loosened the tie around his neck. Leaving all thoughts of his bastard of a father outside the door

As he walked down the hall he smiled at the sound of activity from elsewhere in the apartment.

“James, it is time to tidy up your things. Dinner is almost ready,”

“But Mum,” he whined, dragging out the word.

“Stop whining,” Riza scolded. “You are ten years old, not four.”

“But I’m just going to play with it again after dinner. Why do I need to tidy it up now?”

Silence. Roy smirked as he knew Riza would be daring her son to test her even more than he was already doing. When she spoke her voice was calm but Roy knew better than that. There was a subtle edge to it that only appeared when she was _really_ annoyed.

“Don’t argue with me,” she warned in that same tone. “And you won’t be able to play with it later. It is Friday. Aunt Becca is picking you up after dinner remember?”

At the mention of Catalina coming to pick up Riza’s son, anticipation and excitement coursed through him. He found it difficult to supress his grin.

Roy entered the kitchen to see Riza standing over the oven cooking dinner. Her back was to him as she spoke to her son. James on the other hand was facing him and when the child saw Roy enter the room his eyes lit up.

“Roy!” he exclaimed. The boy ran over to him while Riza sighed at his convenient distraction. James threw his arms around Roy’s waist, hugging him tightly. Roy chuckled, ruffling his hair.

“Hey, bud. Did you have a good day at school?”

James backed off while nodding excitedly. “Yeah! Mr. Paterson gave us a project and we built them all day! I will show you!” The boy ran off through to the living room.

Roy approached Riza from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist.

“Hey,” he murmured in her ear, kissing her temple.

“Hello yourself,” she smiled. “Did you have a good day at work?”

Roy nodded. It had been tiring but he was more than grateful to be done now. Plus, he had an exciting night ahead of him. Whenever he thought about it a thrill shot through him. Riza had become insanely good at picking out the shifts in his moods so he tried as hard as he could to keep his excitement reigned in. This was going to be a surprise for her. Roy didn’t want to ruin it.

“I did. The day has vastly improved now that I can see you again.”

Riza chuckled, leaning back to see which hob on the oven she needed to turn off. She was making her infamous bolognese for dinner and it smelled heavenly. Roy’s stomach grumbled in response but it wasn’t for them. This was for James as they had their weekly date night tonight.

He grinned to himself at the cheesy title they had given it. To be able to say those words make him happier than anyone could ever know.

They no longer needed to hide. They could be _them_. Together. They could be happy.

He kissed her cheek as James re-entered the room with a wooden car in tow. It fit in the boy’s hand, complete with working wheels which currently spun gently due to James’ quick movements.

“That is so cool!” Roy exclaimed. “Did you make it?”

James shook his head. “Mr. Paterson gave us it and we got to paint it on Thursday. Today we raced them and mine won!” He beamed with pride, eyes lighting up and his grin almost splitting his face.

“No way!” Roy carefully took the wooden car in his hands, angling it so he could see the whole design. The car itself was black. The plates on the front said “James”, but it had been painted on by a ten year old so it wasn’t exactly the most legible piece of writing. However Roy could still make it out, so he counted that as a success. Atop the black base coat were flames, painted as though they were coming out from the front two wheels. It started with red, then orange, then yellow. The typical way a child would draw fire. “This is awesome.”

James beamed once more, clasping his hands together in front of him and rocking on his heels. Roy could see how much his praise meant to the boy and that made him even happier. He truly counted himself insanely lucky to be included in this small family.

“It must be the flames,” Roy deduced, eyes meeting James’. “That’s why it is so fast.”

Still pleased as punch, James took the car from Roy’s hands. “Let me show you how fast it is!”

“Didn’t Mum tell you to tidy up?” Roy asked with a knowing grin. “I think your dinner is almost ready.” James froze, the excitement dying with it. His shoulders sagged and Roy chuckled. “Don’t be such a drama queen. You can show me quickly but _after_ dinner.”

“Okay!” he grinned. Grabbing all of the things he had strewn across the living room carpet, James dashed to his room. No doubt it would all end up in a heap on his bed, as per usual, but the boy would learn when he had to move it again to get into bed to sleep.

“I don’t know why he always listens to you and not to me now,” Riza grumbled good-naturedly as she dished up her son’s dinner.

“I am obviously the favourite,” Roy sighed, grinning when Riza glared at him. “Give it a couple of years. Then he won’t listen to either of us.” Riza’s smile widened at the mention of “a couple of years”. “It feels nice to be able to say that now,” Roy grinned.

Riza hummed in agreement. “It really does.” She wrapped her arms around his neck, locking them there to simply look at him. Roy smirked in response, resting his hands upon her hips, thumb stroking her sides. He always knew that drove her crazy. And based on the way her smile widened he knew he had done it again.

Their kiss was brief because James re-entered the kitchen at top speed, careening into the door frame with a _thud_. He grunted in pain but pushed himself off. When the two adults looked his way, still in the same position, both had one eyebrow raised.

“I’m okay!” James announced and hopped up onto his chair.

“Did you wash your hands?” Riza asked, removing her arms from around Roy’s neck. They didn’t move far though, he noted. An arms snaked around his back and he did the same.

James froze with his fork poised over the food. After a warning look from his mother he sighed dramatically and bolted back out of the room to the bathroom sink. Roy chuckled as he left. How James still had so much energy was beyond him.

“I am going to wash up,” Roy announced, kissing the crown of Riza’s head.

Catalina took their hurricane off their hands for the night and Roy and Riza headed out for dinner at a local Cretan restaurant. It had fast become Roy’s favourite and they made a point to visit it once every month. He joked Riza had converted him to the cuisine, having never really had a taste for it before. Every year they returned to that lodge up north for James’ birthday and he was the first to suggest ordering from the Cretan place. He had found himself a new craving.

As they walked into town Riza hung on his arm while Roy’s hands rested in his pockets. The object within his jean pocket seemed to burn a whole in his leg. He alternated between fidgeting with it and gripping it tightly. Luckily Riza was on the opposite side so she wouldn’t notice his restlessness.

“James’ teacher told me he is at the top of his class for maths today,” Riza announced proudly as they walked.

“That’s brilliant!”

Her grin widened as she looked upon his face. He was genuinely happy for the boy. The pair had spent about two hours last night going over his homework. Roy had found a patience he didn’t know he possessed as he helped the young boy solve each problem, gently nudging James towards the correct solution. Riza had to work late so she didn’t arrive home until eight o’clock at night – something she had been _very_ pissed about. It didn’t help matters that she had found the pair of them passed out on her couch.

However, he had landed in her good graces because after making dinner for the two of them Roy had set aside another portion and put it in the fridge for Riza. Apparently it was her _very_ good graces if their activities in the bedroom once James had fallen asleep was anything to go by. He grinned at the memory.

“All thanks to you,” she murmured softly, resting her head on his shoulder. They were nearing their destination and while Roy really enjoyed walking with Riza, the heat of the summer evening was causing him to sweat. He hoped his cologne would cover the smell of it.

After showering he had changed into a pair of jeans and dress shirt. In the summer heat he had left the top button open to provide some relief to the stifling humidity. Riza, however, didn’t think it was enough and was _very_ helpful to his cause. With a wink she simply opened the next button down and retrieved her purse from the couch. With a look like that, she would leave him feeling hot and bothered for another reason.

The woman on his arm looked extremely lovely tonight. She had opted for a dress that fell to just below her knees. The warm breeze shifted it while they walked, brushing it against Roy’s legs. It was a lovely baby blue colour. Not too bright but not so pale that it was barely distinguishable. A simple necklace hung around her neck, the pendant settling against her skin and sticking there with the heat.

“That boy did all that work by himself. I just nudged him along.”

“You have helped him so much,” she reassured him as they turned the corner onto the street where their destination awaited. The name was illuminated by neon lights which weren’t really necessary for this time of the evening in the summer. “Last year he was really struggling with his maths. Then you started helping him and his grades have shot up. You have _definitely_ helped.”

“I am just glad I could do something for him.”

“You have done so much already. Don’t forget that.”

Her arm regrettably was removed from his arm as she pushed open the restaurant door. A waiter greeted them with a smile and showed them to their usual table. The boy – Roy says boy because he couldn’t have been older than sixteen – took their drink order and left them to it. The owner of the restaurant meandered over while the two chatted, interrupting politely to greet them and thank them for returning once more. When Riza turned her attention to the menu the two men shared a look before Roy picked up his own menu.

“I think I will try the hamburger tonight,” she announced, folding up her menu.

Roy eyed the menu critically. They have both tried almost everything on the menu. They had been her so often over the past two years that it was impossible for them not to. “I’m going to go for the clam chowder. I really liked it when I tried it last time.”

“Tried? More like stole it off my plate,” Riza corrected with a cheeky grin.

“As I recall, Miss Hawkeye, we both agreed we would try each other’s food when we ordered something new.”

“And as _I_ recall, Mr Mustang, you don’t like fish. I distinctly remember you throwing a fit the last time I cooked fish for us at home.” Her eyes twinkle with amusement.

“That wasn’t a fit,” he replied matter-of-factly.

“You ran from the room yelling about the smell,” she deadpanned.

Roy huffed. He did. “Technically this isn’t a fish, it’s a clam.” The hope of changing the subject to avoid _that_ memory. But it still made him smile. He had been playing it up for James since the boy had a fit of the giggles while Roy pantomimed running from the room.

“Whatever you say,” she smiled over the top of her glass of wine, taking a sip.

The food was delicious as they ate and enjoyed chatting about this and that. Riza told him about her day at work and how she was thinking of maybe looking for a new one. James was older now and – she grinned happily as she voiced her thoughts regarding her next reason – now that someone else was around to look after her son she didn’t have to worry _too_ much about the hours. That made Roy’s heart swell in his chest.

“If you are not happy, by all means look for a new job.”

“The money is good and they have been very generous to me regarding flexibility of hours. They have actually been very good to me,” she smiled wistfully. “But doing the same office work day in and day out for a stationary company for the last ten years has left me bored.”

“I will help in any way I can. You know that.”

“Of course I do. But it is still nice to hear,” she smirked.

The restaurant had slowly begun to empty over the course of the night. Riza didn’t even seem to notice, but Roy did. He had plans on his mind that required the place to be empty because he knew Riza wouldn’t like the attention drawn to herself. He caught the owner’s eye and nodded once, giving the man the signal to initiate phase one of Roy’s plans.

The man approached their table with a bottle of champagne. When he rounded the table, Riza looked up in surprise.

“Champagne, Miss Riza?” he asked, presenting the bottle with a flourish. Her eyes widened at the label. It was the expensive stuff.

Only the best for her.

“Oh no, we didn’t order –”

“Two glasses, please,” Roy answered for her. He ignored the eyes she placed on him, waiting for the owner to leave the table. Instead, Roy watched him pour the fizz.

“Did _you_ order expensive champagne?” Riza asked when the owner left. Her tone was light and only slightly accusatory probably because she was worrying about how much it cost. Riza Hawkeye wasn’t in a position to worry about money – far from it – but she was still one who didn’t want to spend more than was necessary to get by. “Don’t spend what you don’t have” was a popular saying of her, especially to her son.

Most of her money nowadays was squared away in a savings account for James to access when he turned eighteen. It was mostly all her parent’s money that had been left to her after her mother died. When her father was sent to prison the attorney had contacted her and explained every asset had been left to her. Riza didn’t like the idea of using her father’s money for anything so she kept the house for the time being and moved all the money into a trust fund for James. Roy had asked her what he planned on doing with her father’s home but she shrugged and said she would figure it out later.

The man got life for his attempted murder of a police officer. Berthold had confessed the whole thing. When Roy had viewed the trial he felt bile rising in his throat at the thought that Berthold had been intent on taking his life.

Roy could tell the whole event still bothered Riza because she had stiffened when the lawyer had announced the reason for his visit. It made him angry that the man could still unnerve her even after being locked away in prison but he had remained by her side throughout it, offering support. She had been particularly blown away that Berthold had left everything to her. She saw no reason for him to.

“I think deep down he truly did love me,” Riza told him while they lay awake in bed the night after meeting the lawyer. Riza drew circles on the inside of his forearm. He had flinched at first, the action ticklish, but it always relaxed him. “In his own twisted way.”

“He’s gone now,” he reminded her, noticing the slight shift in her tone. It held a great sadness that he wanted to erase immediately. After everything Riza had gone through he only wanted to make her happy. He had a promise to keep, he reminded himself. After the farce at his Aunt’s all those years ago he had promised to make it up to her. And if reassuring her and offering his unshifting support was the way to do it, he would.

She sighed, placing her hand against where she had been drawing. Her brown orbs met his, the sadness gone from them. “I know.” Her smile was particularly lovely as she gazed at him. So much so that Roy couldn’t resist kissing her.

“I did,” Roy replied, answering Riza’s question regarding the champagne. It is a special occasion,” he announced with a shrug. His gaze lifted from his glass to meet her furrowed brow, wondering if she would remember what was so special about today.

He watched amused as she struggled to rack her brain about why today was so important. He grinned as she opened her mouth once before promptly shutting it.

“You got me,” she replied, defeated and leaning back in her chair. “Enlighten me. Why is today so important?”

“Two years ago today we met for the first time.”

He watched as recognition spread across her face. Then, her lovely smile. “So it is.”

“To us,” he toasted, raising his glass. Riza echoed his sentiment, clinking their glasses together.

Feeling pleasantly buzzed by the alcohol they had consumed to two took the long way back to their apartment. The air had cooled but the humidity still hung in the air, causing Roy’s t-shirt to stick to his back. They walked hand and hand through the Central Park, arms swinging gently and happily. Roy’s other hand remained in his jean pocket, gripping the object that felt like a lead weight tightly.

They approached the tree where they had spent the day with James, Havoc, and Catalina.

“Do you remember our first day here?” she asked, diverting them across the grass to the tree.

“I do.” Roy chuckled. “I remember you falling on your ass while roller-skating.”

“That did hurt,” she laughed.

“I remember you wore pusheen socks that day too. It was incredibly endearing.”

She shot him a side glance. “That is a very specific detail to take note of. Were you creeping on me?”

He bumped her shoulder with her own. “Knock it off,” he scolded but grinned. “How can I _not_ notice your obsession with that cat? You have pusheen stuff _all over_ your apartment.”

“It is cute,” she huffed.

“Yeah, well, so are you.”

Riza stuck her tongue out at him and he removed his hand from hers, wrapping it around her shoulders. He hugged her tightly to his side, kissing the top of her head.

“Riza?” he asked after a moment of silence between the pair. His heart rate picked up and his hands had begun to sweat.

 _This is it_.

“Yeah?” Her eyes turned up to his, turning to face him. His arm fell from her shoulders, brushing down her arm slowly to take her hands in both of his. He could have sworn he saw her shiver and he inwardly grinned.

“I love you so much.”

She grinned. “I know,” she replied softly.

“And I know we have both been through so much shit already. Half of that I apologise for.” He still felt guilty for all that had happened while they were under the scrutiny of his father. The bullet wound in his shoulder tingled as if his body was trying to remind him of everything the man had rained down on the pair of them.

Riza lifted a hand to cup his cheek, the love in her eyes clear. She had told him time and time again she didn’t blame him for any of it. Half the time he nodded along but didn’t quite believe it. She _had_ to hold some resentment. But from the look in her eyes right now he knew he was being foolish for doubting her sincerity.

“We have come out stronger because of it,” she reminded him. She laughed lightly. It did unfair things to him to hear her so carefree. _God, I love her_. “If we can make it through all that then we can make it through anything.”

 _I really hope she can’t feel my hand sweating_.

“Exactly,” he replied, taking a steadying breath. “So,” he added before pausing. He reached into his jean pocket and produced a small black box. Riza’s eyes followed his and she froze. Her eyes widened and lips parted in shock. Her gaze few up to his.

He knelt down on one knee under the old oak they spent their first day together. He found it fitting he should propose to her here. The champagne was phase one and something he properly wanted to celebrate. This woman had popped into his life two years ago today and it was something he found himself thanking God or whoever was up there for every day. He couldn’t – and didn’t want to – imagine life without Riza by his side. Her son, too. He was a hurricane in child’s body but he kept Roy on his toes and before he and Riza were even together he would treat the boy as if James’ was his own son.

“Riza Hawkeye?” He watched as a hand came up to her chest, as if to steady herself. Her expression never changed, but he heard her gasp. He grinned up at the woman he loved. “Will you marry me?”

* * *

“Riza Hawkeye? Will you marry me?”

Riza was rooted to the spot. Her mind grinded to a halt and stuttered to get going again, like a car engine that couldn’t quite turn over. She stared down at Roy, ignoring the ring in his hands.

 _Yes!_ She shouted in her mind but her mouth didn’t work.

The fact that this man… This _wonderful_ man wanted to marry her? Wanted to spend the rest of his life with her? It felt like a dream that she would rudely awaken from.

Every day over the past year she would wake up in the morning and expect the Mayor to be back, his threats hanging over them and stopping their happiness. But then she would either roll over to see Roy sleeping soundly next to her in bed or wake up to a good morning text from him.

After her unlucky streak early on in her life she never expected this day to happen and now it was here…

She was still staring at him like a fool.

He shifted nervously on his knee, expression turning uncertain.

_Answer him, idiot!_

“Yes,” she gasped. It was quiet but it was out there between them. “Yes,” she repeated, voice stronger.

Uncertainty was gone and its place a face splitting grin. She barked out a quiet laugh of disbelief, her eyes still fixated on his handsome face rather than the ring in the box. She couldn’t even tell him what it looked like. Then another left her after he slipped the ring onto her unresisting hand. She watched him do it, still not quite believing what had happened. Tears fell down her cheeks as she met his gaze once more. It held so much love for her that it took her breath away.

She was truly lucky to know Roy. She knew that already. He had brought so much joy and happiness into her life that she never thought she would feel again.

Before meeting him, James had only really been the thing that had kept her going. Certainly in her son’s younger years. As he grew older it became easier, but she couldn’t escape the trauma of her childhood or the pain she had felt when Matt left her. The monotony of living day to day while not in the presence of her son had eventually just become part of her life and she didn’t notice it anymore.

Then Roy came along.

Handsome, wonderful, loving Roy had opened her world up. It was like he had coloured her vision, bringing life and happiness back to her. He had eased her suffering without knowing it with his kind words and offers to watch her back. Sure, they had had a trying time. But every damn second was worth it. Every moment of pain, uncertainty, and frustration they had gone through had _all_ been worth it because she got to be loved by him, and she got to love him in return.

And she couldn’t wait to commit herself to him for the rest of her life.

Riza threw her arms around his neck and listened to him laugh. It truly was a wonderful sound. Her tears continued to fall as she buried her face in his neck, inhaling the scent that was wholly _his_. It calmed her when she was upset, it soothed her when she was worried, and it reminded her that no matter what happened on this earth, Roy Mustang loved Riza Hawkeye.

She was truly lucky.

She hadn’t even realised Roy had lifted her off the ground in a bear hug, twirling them both around with her in the air until she felt the breeze caress her bare skin. He lowered her down the ground gently, face still buried in the crook of her neck. A hand moved from around her torso to cup her cheek. Roy bent angled her head back and kissed her with such a tenderness she felt more tears leave her. A few of his own wet her hands as she brought them up to his face.

As his lips lingered on hers she moved her hands down to grasp the front of his shirt, hands fisting in the material. He groaned against her, obviously enjoying her reaction.

They broke apart panting.

“I can’t believe it,” she whispered.

“Please do,” he replied. “It would make it extremely awkward if you stopped believing this moment was real.”

He chuckled as she shook her head at him. She met his gaze, smiling at the raw and open happiness she found there.

She was convinced they truly were made to be together. It took a bit of a muddle of emotions for them to reach this point, but they had made it.

“Do you want to go home?” he murmured, grasping the back of her head gently. His fingers tangled in her hair, thumb stroking just above her ear.

“Let’s stay out a little longer,” she replied. “I want to enjoy this moment for a little longer.”

“I was hoping you would say that.”

“So was the champagne part of this celebration too?” Riza asked as she latched back onto his arm as they walked. She held her hand out in front of her, admiring her ring. He was extremely pleased with his choice. It was definitely her style. The silver band wrapped around her finger nicely and the diamond in the centre was subtle and not too flashy. It was perfect in every way. She had never even given marriage a thought – obviously that would have been the endgame with her relationship with Roy – but she wasn’t expecting it so soon.

Roy shook his head. “Not really. I truly did want to celebrate our first meeting. It was such a pivotal moment in my life that it felt wrong not to. We didn’t really get a chance to last year. I was so busy with my father’s trial that I didn’t notice the date.” He chuckled to himself. “I was so disappointed when I finally did realise.”

“You never mentioned it.”

Roy shrugged. “The moment had passed and we were too busy. Plus, it meant I could use the idea I had in mind for this year. We did have fun instead though,” he added with a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows.

Riza laughed. “That we did,” she replied, a light blush appearing over her cheeks. Roy noticed and grinned wider. She shoved his shoulder to tell him to stop laughing at her. He kissed the top of her head when she returned to her previous position.

“How long have you known you were going to propose?” She found herself grinning uncontrollably at the use of the last word.

“Six months ago I went shopping with Chris to pick out a ring.”

“Six months?” she repeated. “Wow.”

“I have loved you before we were even together. And like you said, we have already survived the worst and come out the other end still loving each other. It was practically a given it was going to happen.”

She smiled at that, leaning into his arm as they walked.

“James is going to lose it,” she grinned.

“I am betting on it. How long until he notices?”

“He won’t notice the ring. He probably won’t realise the significance of it.”

“How can we tell him without actually telling him? I like the idea of him figuring it out on his own.”

“So do I,” Riza agreed. Her son really would lose his shit. He had already called Roy Dad more than once by accident but it had made both adults happier than the boy could ever know. He had been embarrassed, correcting himself quickly. Roy had reassured him, telling James it was all right. Riza almost stepped in and told James not to apologise but she didn’t want press the role on Roy. It was a large task taking on the care of someone else’s child and she didn’t want to pressure him into it.

“I have an idea,” he announced, a mischievous grin spreading over his face. “When does he get back tomorrow?”

“I think Rebecca said she was going to drop him off after lunch. I would need to check my phone. Why?”

“How about I move some of my stuff in?” he ventured casually. However Riza didn’t miss the way he momentarily stiffened after suggesting it, as if realising the magnitude of what he had just said. Nothing would make Riza happier, to be honest. He practically lived in her apartment already. There were only two days a week at most he didn’t stay over and those nights were terrible.

It had been tough during his father’s trial. Roy would often return to his own apartment to sort through his notes and evidence to ensure everything was all right. She would watch him worry and want to do something, but there was nothing she could say. Instead she just made sure dinner was ready for him every evening he returned from the courthouse. When he returned to his own apartment and passed out on the couch, exhausted, she would sneak in and leave a portion of food for him in the fridge. While leaving she would drape a blanket over him and note the dark circles under his eyes. Worry would coil in her stomach but she would let him rest. With a kiss to his forehead and a small note saying food was in the fridge for him, she would return to her own apartment.

She had worried about him so much.

But now it was all over. And Roy moving into her apartment _finally_ would be a good way to start this new chapter in their lives.

“I think that would be a wonderful idea.”

“So… You don’t mind?”

_Oh, bless._

She shook her head. “You practically live with us already.”

There was even more of a bounce in his step as they approached their apartment building.

The two were so excited to get started that they began moving Roy’s belongings through to Riza’s apartment as soon as they arrived home. They were like two kids waking up on Christmas Day. They giggled and laughed quietly as they did so. She felt so happy and carefree. It took her back to her teenage years when she got a brief reprieve from the suffocating atmosphere of her father’s house.

It felt so liberating.

They were too excited to even sleep. Of course, there were other ways to deal with that.

James didn’t even notice when he Rebecca dropped him off. He breezed right past the boxes they had purposefully left in the hallway by the door. He didn’t even notice the Xbox sitting under the television, or the controller sitting on the coffee table in front of him.

Both adults waited for him to notice, giving each other an amused and frustrated look.

Rebecca however, narrowed her eyes at no doubt how jumpy they were acting and the boxes. They each smiled at her in what they thought was a nonchalant way, but in truth they probably looked giddy.

Then her eyes zeroed in on Riza’s engagement ring.

“You –!” she yelled loudly. James jumped, turning around in his seat.

“Can I talk to you for a minute Rebecca?” Riza asked urgently, grabbing her friend by the elbow and steering her out of the room.

James turned his gaze to Roy as they left. “What was she shouting about?”

Riza snickered as she heard Roy’s response. “When is your Aunt Rebecca _not_ shouting about something?”

“Riza Hawkeye!” the woman shouted. “What is _that_?”

Riza hushed her as they shut the door to her bedroom. The blonde was sure James wouldn’t heat them in here.

“When did this happen?” she demanded, grabbing Riza’s hand to look at the ring.

“Last night,” Riza beamed.

“Last night? So while I was looking after your kid you were off getting _engaged_?”

Riza shushed her, but couldn’t stop grinning. Hearing someone else say it brought back all her happiness from the night before. “Yes!” The excitement was clear in her voice.

“Oh, Riza!” Rebecca threw her arms around her friend’s neck. “I am so happy for you,” she cried. Tears wet Riza’s t-shirt and she laughed at her friend’s over reaction. “Let me see that again!”

The two spent ten minutes laughing and crying happily together.

“I am _so_ happy for you Riza,” Rebecca repeated for what felt like the hundredth time. “After everything that you have gone through…” She wiped a tear from her cheek. “I am just so proud. I feel like a mother.”

When the two re-entered the living room Roy jumped up from his armchair alarmed, no doubt noticing their red eyes.

“We’re good,” Riza reassured him with a quiet laugh, turning her gaze to her friend. Rebecca beckoned her in for one last hug.  She even hugged Roy, much to his surprise. James hadn’t even looked up from whatever was on his lap.

“I will call you later, okay? You _need_ to tell Jean and I want to witness it.”

“Of course. I will speak to you soon.”

Rebecca left quickly, high tailing it out of Riza’s apartment so both she and Roy could try and coax their son into noticing half of Roy’s things were in their home.

Roy shot her a look as if to say _I have an idea_.

“Hey bud?” Roy called, moving to sit on the couch next to James. “Do you fancy playing the Xbox for while?”

James looked up, apparently that was much more exciting than the video he was watching on his tablet. “Yeah! That would be awesome.” He hopped out of his seat and rushed towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Roy asked, a hint of confusion in his tone but he shot Riza a grin.

“To your apartment,” James answered after a pause.

“Why?” Roy lifted the controlled off the table and turned the console on. It beeped and lit up the television screen.

“Why is it here?”

“Take a look around,” Riza suggested. “Notice anything else?”

Her son looked around the room, his eyes finally falling on the boxes on the other side of the room. They were the same boxes Roy had originally moved in with because they had James’ drawings all over them. She was touched to see he had kept them all this time.

“Why are there boxes here?” His brow furrowed and he looked vaguely worried. “Are we moving house?”

“No…” Riza trailed off. Apparently that was too much of a stretch for James to figure out. “But someone is moving in.”

“Who?” he asked in confusion.

Roy lifted the controller in the air, waving it at James. The boy’s frown remained then his mouth opened in shock, eyes wide. Riza laughed at his reaction.

“You… _You_ are coming to live with us? Forever?” he exclaimed.

Roy nodded. “I am. Mum and I decided it would be best if we lived together now that we are getting married.”

“Married…” her son trailed off. The word took a moment to land but when he did, his face lit up. His grin was infectious and he bounced on the spot. “You two are getting married?” he shrieked.

“We are!” Riza replied, her own excitement seeping into her tone. She bent over and lifted her son in the air before hugging him tightly to her body. He was certainly getting heavier now but the boy was lanky, all skin and bone so Riza could still lift him into her arms.

“This is so awesome!”

Roy had joined them, embracing them both in a hug. “I am glad you approve bud.”

“I have wanted you guys to get married for ages! This is so cool! You can finally be my Dad!”

Roy’s mouth popped open in shock. “Is that something you would want?”

“Of course silly!” James giggled happily.

Riza watched as tears crept into Roy’s eyes. She smiled knowingly, understanding how much James’ acceptance meant to him. She placed a hand on his shoulder. This was essentially his “official” welcome to their small family. Not that Ry hadn’t already won over their hearts long ago.

The trio hugged and laughed and cried happily for the rest of the day. James helped them both move more of Roy’s things into Riza’s apartment. The furniture would stay for now until they decided if they wanted to keep it.

There was no point keeping an empty apartment so Roy said he would look into selling it first thing Monday morning. He had taken two weeks off work now that his father’s trial had finished. The man hadn’t had a holiday in over a year and Riza thought it was only fair he should get two weeks now that it was all over to recover. Roy had told her this in advance, and she had booked the same two weeks off. Yesterday had been James’ last day at school for the summer so Riza was beyond excited to spend her time off with her new, whole family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know i have had daily uploads over the weekend but there won't be one tomorrow since i am back to work! however i am aiming to have this written and finished for the weekend so fingers crossed!


	24. Chapter 24

**_James, age 10_ **

The trio’s excitement didn’t die down the next day either. It was Sunday and Roy had planned to visit his Aunt anyway. Little did she know he would be bringing along an extra guest. Riza had worried about not telling Chris about her arrival.

“Will there be enough food? I wouldn’t want to impose.”

Roy waved her concern away. “That woman owns and runs a restaurant. There is always going to be enough food. Stop fretting,” he teased.

“I’m not fretting,” Riza lied, chewing on her bottom lip. “It is just courteous to tell her. This is the second time I have met your Aunt. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression. I don’t want her to think I expect to be fed every time I show up –”

“Riza,” Roy sighed in exasperation. He grabbed her hand to tug her around to face him. They were currently in his apartment cleaning. The blonde had wrinkled her nose at the state of it on Friday night when they had entered for the first time in about two weeks. From the look in her eye Roy knew this weekend wouldn’t be as simple as moving his possessions over. It definitely needed a good clean. Not that he was opposed to that idea but he could think of more entertaining things to do on a Sunday with his new fiancé rather than cleaning an apartment he didn’t really hold any interest in anymore.

“The woman lives for her family. And she loves you already,” Roy stated. She looked unsure. “Honestly. You have nothing to worry about.”

Roy would have liked the two to meet more often but his life for the last year had been manic. There had been no time for family visits. Aside from the odd weekend he finally had free to visit his Aunt, he had barely seen her either. The two conversed regularly on the phone, but he opted to remain away to keep media attention on her to a minimum.

Sure enough, when Chris set eyes on Riza she gave her a much warmer greeting than he had ever received.

“Hello Riza,” she smiled, beckoning her into the house.

“Hello Mrs. Mustang.”

She barked a laugh at that. “Please, so formal. Chris will do just fine. Come in to the kitchen. The vultures are patiently awaiting your arrival Roy. Why don’t you go and say hello while I chat to Riza?”

Roy stiffened. This wouldn’t be good. He caught his Aunt’s eye but there was nothing malicious in it, simply the look that told him if he argued with her there would be hell to pay. Riza at least was better at hiding her surprise, but Roy could see it in the way her fingers twitched and her eyes widened minutely.

“Yeah. Sure.” He swallowed and prayed his Aunt didn’t say anything too embarrassing. Or, she didn’t want to make Riza run in the opposite direction.

True to her word, eight people were sitting and chatting in the living room but were obviously waiting for Roy and his guest to enter the room. The looks of disappointment on their faces when they saw he was alone was indicator enough.

“Where is Riza?” Becky piped up.

“What? You don’t want to see me?” he asked while taking his spot on the empty couch.

“No,” she deadpanned and grinned when Roy narrowed his eyes at this adoptive sister. The pillow behind Roy’s back made its way through the air towards her head but she dodged easily. Becky was a year younger than him but she never let up in her teasing. Even when they were kids she had an uncanny ability to always get _him_ into trouble even if it was her fault.

“Yeah, Roy.” Maes Hughes announced his presence to the room with the opening of a can of juice. He held that knowing look on his face, one that told Roy he knew _all_ about his news despite the fact he hadn’t let on to anyone. “Where is Riza? I didn’t get a chance to meet her last time but these two,” he gestured to the two teenagers in the room. “Won’t shut the hell up about her.”

“She’s nice,” Alphonse mumbled quietly, slightly embarrassed. Roy looked at the blush on his cheeks. Oh, _bless_. Did the boy have a crush on her?

“Yeah, a lot nicer than _you_ ,” his brother piped up with a smug grin. “I’d much rather she was here than you.”

“Keep up that moaning Edward and you will never see her. Riza wouldn’t want to be lumped in with a grumpy punk like you.”

“Enough,” Christmas barked, but there lacked any kind of stab behind it. “You two kids go and check on the food.” Edward automatically opened his mouth to protest but the glare on Chris’ face sent them packing. “Don’t eat any!” she warned.

Chris placed a hand on Riza’s shoulder and steered his fiancé over to the couch where Roy was sitting. She sat down beside him, but he could see how rigid she was. Just _what_ had Chris spoke to her about? He automatically put his arm around her shoulders and didn’t miss the way she leaned into him. A satisfied grin spread across his face.

“These two have an announcement,” Chris stated, leaning back in her own chair. Six sets of eyes turned to face them, suddenly looking _very_ curious. Roy’s eyes shot to his Aunt who was looking very pleased with herself. He should have known he wouldn’t have been able to hide it from her. Both Roy had and his siblings had often wondered if she could read minds. The woman had an uncanny ability to know exactly where they were going or where they had been. It was still unnerving.

Riza stiffened even more under his hand. He gently squeezed her shoulders, trying to ease her worries. She was not someone who was used to being in the spotlight, the centre of attention. Now, with all these new face watching her every move it was no doubt making her uncomfortable.

“We are engaged,” Roy told them, unable to keep the grin off his face. There was a brief moment where there was only silence, then the room erupted in noise. Riza jumped under his hand and he regrettably had to remove it to stand and hug his adoptive siblings as they congratulated him.

“Oh my God!”

“This is… so amazing! I think I am gonna cry.”

“Congratulations you two!”

Roy was surrounded and lost sight of his fiancé as they moved to congratulate her too. Then, he came face to face with Chris. She wore her knowing smirk and opened her arms to her nephew.

“Congratulations Roy boy.” Her voice was quiet, low enough so only she would hear him. He felt tears spring in his eyes within her embrace. He buried his face in her shoulder for a moment and Chris let him. They never really showed affection to each other. Even when he was a kid. But they did it when it mattered. This moment was important enough that she allowed it. “I am so proud of you. You have got yourself a keeper there.” She pulled away and – dare he say it – there was a tear in her eye.

“I certainly do,” he readily agreed.

The noise died down and Riza finally found her way back to his side. She looked entirely overwhelmed and Chris noticed.

“All of you; out,” she commanded. “Let’s give the happy couple time to digest all those well wishes.”

With a grin and a few more congratulations, they all left the room. The look Maes gave him told Roy there would be more to discuss later. Oh, he didn’t doubt it. The fact he hadn’t told Maes about any of these developments meant he was in for an earful. The man acted like an old woman when it came to Roy’s live life.

Turning his attention back his fiancé – the title still made him giddy – he noticed the tears in her eyes. Surprised, he asked he what was wrong. Had somebody said something to her?

“I’m fine,” she replied, giving him a wobbly smile. It certainly didn’t look like it. Her smile faltered and her face crumpled.

“Hey,” he soothed. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, drawing her against his body. Chris took that as an opportunity to slip out of the room, which he appreciated. “What’s wrong?”

“It is silly, really,” she laughed through her tears.

“Tell me,” he commanded softly. Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, he hugged her tighter.

Riza pulled back and looked up at his face. His arms retracted but his hands moved to her shoulders instead. He searched her gaze, scrutinising it. There didn’t seem to be anything wrong, other than the fact she was crying. There was only love in her eyes.

“I just… It was a lot to take in. To feel so welcomed by so many people.”

The penny finally dropped and Roy understood. She was used to only having a small circle of people to interact with and trust. His family was big but she was a part of it now and all of his adoptive siblings would treat her as one of their own. Roy wasn’t sure if it was because of their similar circumstances, but there was a fierce loyalty between all of Chris Mustang’s adoptive kids. His Aunt didn’t show it often but she was really proud of that fact.

He chuckled to himself. “They can be a lot to deal with at once. But you will never find a better group of people to look out for you.”

She smiled at his praise for his family. It was true. Claire, Ben, and Becky had all been on the warpath once they found out Berthold had shot him. It was Chris who had told them to calm down.

“Thank you,” she whispered. The raw emotion in her voice made him cup her cheek. He rested her forehead against hers, closing his eyes. “Thank you for bringing me into this family. It… Is nice to feel so loved by so many people already and they barely even know me.”

Roy’s heart ached for Riza. There was nothing he could do about her past but he would do everything in his power to ensure she was happy and felt so loved for the rest of her life. Like he had stated before, he wouldn’t take this second chance at making her happy lightly.

Once Riza had calmed down the duo left the living room to enter the kitchen. Chris was sitting at the breakfast bar with Maes, both deep in conversation with one another.

“Hello you two,” Maes grinned. “And Riza, it is a pleasure to finally meet you,” he greeted. He held open his arms for an embrace, laughing lightly when Riza offered her hand for him to shake. “We are family now,” he grinned, enveloping her in a bear hug. “There is no need for such formality!”

The man practically begged Roy to tell him about their engagement. So, Roy retold the story, listening to the _ooh_ s and _ahh_ s from Maes. Chris just sat listening, occasionally shifting her cigarette in her mouth.

“The ring is beautiful,” Maes announced. “It looks a lot like the ring I have to my Gracia. Did you help him too?” he asked Chris, narrowing his eyes at their matriarch.

“Of course I helped,” Christmas sniffed. “Roy has good taste but it isn’t _that_ good,” Christmas told her unashamedly. Roy protested from his spot in the room. His arm had found its way back around Riza’s shoulder as they lounged against the counter. “Especially when it comes to rings. You are both hopeless.”

Chris’ had come with him to shop for rings – well, invited herself along – obviously not trusting her nephew to pick a good ring for the woman he loved. As if he didn’t know Riza’s tastes.

“I think I did quite well with that one,” he grumbled.

“Don’t mumble boy,” Christmas barked. It was a pet hate of hers.

Roy scowled like a child and Riza bumped his arm playfully. He knew he could be so petulant when his pride was hurt. But he knew Riza well enough to know what ring would suit her and what one didn’t. He told Chris as much at the time but she insisted.

His mother’s reaction was entirely different.

“En – Engaged?” Ruth gasped. Tears sprung to her eyes almost immediately and Roy feared she might actually start sobbing on the spot.

“What?” Julie squeaked.

“Oh my God, guys! Congratulations!” Tom grasped his hand excitedly, shaking it vigorously.

“When did this happen?” Ruth asked. She looked truly bewildered and Roy didn’t blame her. He hadn’t told her about Riza when they had conversed backwards and forwards. In fact, until his father’s trial was over he avoided meeting his mother in person. Not maliciously, but he didn’t want anyone who was snooping to make the connection between him and Ruth. There was a reason she was in witness protection after all.

“On Friday night,” he beamed. He looked to Riza, finding her sharing his smile, but it was much more subdued that his. But in her eyes, he could see the happiness there.

“Oh my goodness! Oh my, come here!” she beckoned Riza, pulling her in tightly for a hug. “I am sorry we haven’t met before now but I had no idea you were even in a serious relationship Roy!” His mother’s tone held a light scolding in it as she pulled away from Riza and frowned at her son.

“They have had a lot going on, dear,” Tom reminded her gently, shooting him an apologetic look.

Ruth stiffened slightly but nodded. She only relaxed when Tom placed a hand on her shoulder.

His mother knew that the trial had ended and the case closed. He had phoned her on Thursday night and of course she would have seen the news when it broke on Friday. Roy had kept her updated throughout the course of the trial the best he could but there had been no way of knowing how things would go. For her sake – and for his and Riza’s – he had hoped for the best and fought as hard as he could for justice.

Seeing that pay off now made it all worth it. He could openly love and be with Riza. His mother had wept when she heard the news, Tom had told him. She kept whispering about “finally being free”.

Yes. It was definitely all worth it. 

* * *

 

Riza was still overwhelmed by how welcoming Roy’s family had been. She had had her reservations about meeting them. Ever since her childhood she hadn’t been quick to trust. The abuse at the hands of her father left her wary of almost everyone she didn’t know but his adoptive siblings greeted him as if she had been part of the family for years.

It warmed her heart and left her wanting more, if she was honest. It was just so _nice_ to feel a part of something big like that.

Of course, Jean and Rebecca meant the world to her. She loved them and the help they had given her after her father kicked her out. She would always be grateful for that. But that had only been two people. Two she was already comfortable with. But this was a _whole_ family. There had been eight people crammed into that small living room. And Roy had told her and James he had fifteen brothers and sisters in total. That was seven other people she had yet to meet.

Hoo-boy.

That was a lot of people.

The thought made her hands sweat slightly.

James would thrive in that environment though. He was always ready to make new friends and held none of the anxiety she did about meeting new people. Something she was extremely grateful for. Given the chance, especially when he was younger, he would try to befriend everyone. It was incredibly endearing and left her feeling proud.

“You okay?” he asked lightly, eyes focussing on the road ahead.

“Yeah,” she nodded. She was okay. A little overwhelmed but really good.

“I know that was a lot of people at my Aunt’s,” he chuckled. “Someone must have let slip we were coming because I only told Chris.” Briefly, his head turned to grin at her. “They were excited to finally meet you.”

A warmth spread through her chest and it made her happy to hear that.

“I am… glad.” What could she say to that? She had never been the centre of attention much before. She didn’t really know how to feel.

His hand squeezed hers before returning to the wheel.

Now the next thing was to plan a wedding.

From that thought to their actual wedding felt like a whirlwind. A year passed just like that and they got married in the April, two weeks after James’ eleventh birthday.

“I am so proud of you,” Rebecca hiccupped. “God,” she sighed as she quickly fanned and looked up towards the ceiling. “You are making me ruin my make up!”

Riza hugged her nearest and dearest friend tightly.

“Thank you. For everything.”

Becca had been a saint while Riza had planned this wedding. It was small but they still had a lot to plan. All of Roy’s family was present while she only had James, Becca, and Jean on her side. It would make the seating arrangements during the ceremony extremely depressing so they decided to discard tradition and allow everyone to sit wherever they liked. The front row on the left hand side were reserved for James, Becca, and Jean for Riza. The left was reserved for Roy’s mother and her family and Chris.

“Don’t mention it.” Becca hugged her back fiercely. “I am just so happy for you. You have been through so much and now you are getting married…” She chuckled through her sob. “And I am entirely _not_ jealous of you!”

Riza laughed as she swallowed the lump in her throat.

“Right!” Becca announced loudly. “I better get out there before you start to ruin your make up. Give me one last twirl.”

Riza did as commanded and rotated. The fabric of her dress swished with the movement. It was simple in design. The dress was chiffon with little diamonds sewn into the skirt. Every time the light caught them they sparkled. It wasn’t too “bling”, just enough so that it would draw attention to the dress as it moved through the light. It ended around her ankles so it showed off her white heels.

“Perfect.” Rebecca’s eye filled with tears again. “I’ll see you out there.”

A quiet knock at the door a minute later dragged her attention away from studying her reflection in the mirror. A short pull of her skirt there, a slight adjustment of the bodice there and she was finally ready to face everyone out there.

“Come in,” she replied softly.

James trotted in the room looking very handsome in his tuxedo. Roy had bought it for him. The pair had been _very_ insistent on keeping what it looked like a secret from her and she couldn’t help but beam with pride as he entered. Both James, Roy, and Jean had stayed in their apartment the night before while Riza had stayed at Rebecca’s. Her friend had assured her there would be nothing to worry about but it didn’t distil her anxiety about them arriving to the wedding ready and on time.

“Stop fretting,” Rebecca replied, exasperated. “The boys will be fine. Mustang knows not to be late to his own wedding. And besides I have Jean under strict orders to get them there or time. Poor guy looked like he was going to have an aneurysm after I was through.” She laughed.

“Wow Mum!” James exclaimed. “You look really pretty!”

“Thank you James.” Her smile wobbled and tears really did threaten to fall down her face this time. “You look extremely handsome in your tux.”

He grabbed onto the lapels, gripping them tightly as she grinned. Roy and Jean had done a great job getting him ready. His hair was slicked to the side in a way she knew he hated but tolerated it for formal events. It was getting too long now anyway, she needed to cut it.

Crouching down she brushed a stray hair off his forehead and cupped his cheeks.

“Thank you for all your help these past few months. I know we have been really busy and we haven’t gone out together and done things as much as we used to. But that will all change once today is over. Okay?”

She had worried James would begin to feel left out since she and Roy were busy planning the wedding so often. Every spare weekend they would spend one day as a family travelling to the venue and picking out flower arrangements and menus. The other day would be spent together but James had his weeks’ worth of homework to do which sometimes took all day. Before Riza had made sure he did it all on a Friday night but as he got older he wanted to go to his friend’s house after hockey and she couldn’t bring herself to deny him of that. Jessica’s parents – the pair had been almost inseparable since they started school – often invited him over.

Riza hadn’t really wanted a big wedding but Roy was determined. Apparently he wanted to “declare his love and commitment to her to everyone that mattered to him”. It was cheesy as hell – like pretty much every sappy thing he said – but Riza had grinned and relented. If a big wedding made him happy then so be it.

“Don’t worry about me Mum, this has been really fun! And I am excited for Roy to officially be part of our family.” She pulled him into a tight hug. His hands wrapped around to her back, gripping the fabric of her dress tightly. It may have crushed it but Riza didn’t care. A wrinkle on the back of her dress wasn’t as important as conveying how thankful she was for her bright boy.

“Can I…” he trailed off.

“Can you what?”

“Can I call him Dad when you two are married?”

Riza pulled away in shock, gaze finding her sons. He looked slightly embarrassed about his question but he was still curious. That question… It made her so happy that she thought her heart might burst right there in her chest.

“Oh honey,” she breathed, blinking through her tears. She brought his head to her shoulder, hugging him once more. “You can call him whatever you like. But I think he would really like that.”

James grinned against her. “I would like that. Because he has made you really happy and that’s what Dads do. They make Mums really happy.”

“Don’t every change James,” she murmured, extremely proud of his big heart and ability to welcome Roy so openly into their family.

She had reservations at first of dating Roy openly. She didn’t want James to feel left out. Growing up with just the two of them for eight years she wasn’t sure how he would react to someone else taking her attention but Riza needn’t had worried. Her son was far above anything like that. He had never been that kind of needy child growing up.

In that moment, hugging her son before she got married to the love of her life, Riza Hawkeye couldn’t have been happier. 

* * *

James beamed happily as he walked hand in hand with his mother down the aisle. He heard people “aw” as they passed by. There were a few whispers about how beautiful the bride looked and it made his grin widen. Mum _was_ very pretty. She always had been but today it looked like she was glowing. Like an angel with a halo.

Looking ahead towards the alter he grinned at Roy. However he wasn’t looking at James. His face looked… weird as he stared at Mum. Like he needed to cry but didn’t want to. She always told James it was rude to stare but he didn’t blame Roy. He always told Mum she looked beautiful so it was probably just because of that.

Uncle Jean stood next to Roy with a goofy grin on his face. His Uncle had told him just how important his job was to walk his Mum down the aisle. James hadn’t thought much of it but seeing his Uncle again he made sure he concentrated hard on what he would doing. He didn’t want to mess something this important up.

Aunt Becca stood opposite Roy and Uncle Jean. She was already crying. It was funny because she was grinning as well which he thought was a bit strange. Normally people didn’t smile when they cried.

James noticed Roy didn’t ever take his eyes off Mum as she walked. Even when they stopped before him and Mum bent down to kiss his forehead, Roy never looked away from her.

He didn’t know his Dad and whether or not he had loved his Mum, but he had seen a lot of films about people in love. The way Roy looked at Mum… That’s how a Dad should look at a Mum. It was the same way Uncle Jean looked at Aunt Becca. James knew Roy loved her very much.

Carefully James made his way to Roy’s side and the wedding began. There was a lot of talking that he didn’t really understand so his eyes wandered into the audience. Everyone was paying a lot of attention to his Mum and Roy. No one really bothered to look his way. But that was okay. Because Roy said all these people were here to see Mum be happy and that is all James has ever wanted. Before Roy came along she was lonely. Mum never said that but James could tell. He could remember hearing her cry late at night in her bedroom. She was sad so James made sure the day after he was a really good boy and behaved to make her proud.

Dad might not have loved Mum anymore but James thought she had found someone better than him. Someone who wasn’t going to hurt her and leave her alone.

Roy was going to be his Dad now and James found himself shaking with excitement. He had a surprise for Roy after the wedding and he couldn’t wait to reveal it. He was going to call him “Dad” for the first time and he couldn’t wait to see the look on his face.

His Mum and Roy told each other “I do” with big smiles on his face and then kissed. For once James didn’t feel it was disgusting to watch anymore. He knew it was because they both loved each other and that was how they showed it.

There was a round of applause as the two turned to face the audience. Lots of people were crying. James watched Mum and Roy step down from the slightly raised platform towards their guests and felt a small feeling niggle in his stomach.

For so long it had just been James and Mum. Now they had Roy too – which he was so happy about! But James still felt the urge to be by her side just like he had always been. Instinctively he took a step towards Mum then stopped. Was he allowed to go to her? Did he have to wait until they were gone before he could move? He bit his lip uncertainly.

“Go on, kiddo,” Uncle Jean urged, nudging James forward with a smile.

James was about to shake his head when Mum looked at him. With a smile she beckoned him over. Without hesitation he ran over to her and grabbed her hand tightly. And the three of them walked out the ceremony room as a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uwu


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the moment i know a few of you have been waiting for ;)  
> i hope it lives up to expectations!

**_James, age 11_ **

“Roy?”

Riza’s tone was like ice and Roy jerked at the sound. What was wrong?

His eyes lifted to hers, finding her staring off into the distance. His gaze followed her, but he saw no one of note. For a brief moment terror flooded his body as he pictured his father standing at the other end of the path but Richard wasn’t there.

It was a busy day at the park. The sun shone brightly in the sky and the heat had picked up from the previous week signalling the beginning of summer. James had begged Roy to take him rollerblading and he had agreed. Riza still hadn’t quite mastered the art but she was content to sit in the sun and watch them bond.

“Yes?” he asked cautiously, rising from his crouch beside James. He had been tying the laces of his roller blades. James was certainly old enough to do it himself but the boy still had them both wrapped around his finger.

Eyes alert and scanning the park, Roy searched for whatever had drawn a reaction like this from Riza. It must be bad.

“Can you take James home for me?”

 _What_? Roy looked at her surprised. But from the look on her face – which was still fixed on something in the distance – there would be no use in asking why. Scanning her he noticed how tightly she was held together. Her shoulders were tense, hands clenched into fists by her side. They were shaking. It was barely noticeable.

Movement caught his eye and Roy saw a young man making his way across the grass towards them. His face was slightly grim looking, but his eyes looked towards James and he faltered, eyes full of wonder.

Is this…? Is this who Roy thought it was?

“Roy,” Riza barked.

“Hey James?” Roy called, worried eyes lingering on Riza for a moment longer. “Let’s get going okay? How about you skate up towards the fountain there and I will meet you there?” He held out a hand and beckoned him to grab it. James was hauled to his feet. He wobbled for a second but steadied himself.

With a grin the boy’s face set in determination.

“Okay! Race you there!” He took off like a rocket up the path, effortlessly dodging the afternoon joggers and children who were darting from the path to the grass after a ball.

“Roy.” From the way she said his name he knew Riza wanted him to leave. It was both commanding and pleading. The young man he had spied before had stopped short and the two were staring at each other, about ten feet apart. As James had sped away the stranger’s eyes had watched his every move. Now, after lingering on Roy for a moment, they returned to Riza.

He didn’t want to leave though. He had only seen a picture of James’ father once and that had been about three years ago. The memory was fuzzy but there was no mistaking it. He looked exactly the same as he did in the picture. The same styled brown hair with freckles that covered his nose and cheeks thanks to the sun.

The same freckles on James’ face right now.

“Take all the time you need,” he tell her, giving her hand a squeeze before starting after James. It was hard to turn around and leave her there to face James’ father – Matt? He thought that was his name.

But Riza needed him to distract James. So he would.

“That was really fast, bud!” he called, plastering a grin onto his face. His stomach twisted however as he continued to walk away from his wife. Although, a warmth did spread through his chest at the word “wife”. She had only held the title for two months and it still made him ecstatic.

“That was so fun!” But his face froze as he looked past Roy. His grin dropped and so did the hand that had been raised above his head in triumph. It fell limp by his side.

 _Shit_.

He wasn’t sure what the arrangement Riza had with James about his father and didn’t want to step on her toes. But he would need to think of something quick because the boy had spotted him.

“Who is that talking to Mum?” he asked. James’ voice was quiet now. Roy had to lean in to hear him properly.

Roy fumbled for an answer but he couldn’t lie to the boy. He didn’t deserve that. Plus, it looked like he already knew. He just needed Roy to confirm it.

“I think,” he began before taking a deep breath. “That is your Dad.”

Roy watched James’ face carefully for his reaction. But there was nothing. It didn’t light up happily. It didn’t darken in anger. It was just… neutral.

“You okay James?” Roy asked after he continued to remain silent.

James didn’t answer. He continued to watch as his mother spoke to his father. From the looks of it the conversation as becoming heated. She wore that glare on her face that told Roy that she was _really_ unhappy with the man in front of her.

He didn’t know what to do. Roy was torn. He obviously wanted to go to her to try and calm her down. He wanted to support her as she conversed with the man who had left her pregnant and heartbroken all those years ago. Roy’s own anger towards the man resurfaced as he watched their exchange. That was the man who had hurt Riza.

But, so had he.

That thought hurt his chest more than he thought it would.

“Yeah. I’m fine. Can you actually race me this time?” he asked, bright eyes looking up into Roy’s. He was surprised by James’ request because his eyes shimmered with tears. “It is no fun if you don’t try.”

Roy stared at the young man for a moment. He couldn’t help but admire his strength. Affectionately and as a form of comfort Roy placed his head on James’ head, ruffling his hair. James squirmed away from him as he swatted Roy’s hand away. In the last few weeks he had been paying special attention to his hair. It had to be styled _perfectly_. James wobbled and with a chuckle, Roy steadied him. The glower James gave him mirrored his mother’s so much it made Roy grin.

“Of course we can, bud.”

Roy tried to stare as Riza continued her conversation with Matt. He could tell James was bothered by it too because everything he did was half hearted. It lacked the usual enthusiasm he held for pretty much everything in life. Eventually he stopped skating, parking himself on a bench. Roy jogged and caught up with him.

“You okay?”

James nodded. “Yeah.” His voice was quiet once more, subdued. Roy hated seeing him like this. That his father of all people was making him feel this way made Roy’s resentment grow. After casting a brief glance back down the slope to where Riza stood, he turned back to James.

“Do you want to meet him?”

James shrugged. “I don’t know. When I was little I did.” Roy smiled. He was still “little” in his eyes. The boy was only eleven.

“And now?” Roy softly encouraged.

“My Dad… He hurt Mum a lot. I knew he did before Mum even told me about him. I remember…” James cast his mind back, head cocking to the side to think. “I remember when I was _really_ little waking up in the middle of the night and being scared. Mum was crying and I could hear her from my room.” Roy’s stomach twisted painfully. “I remember that because that was the first time Mum held me while she tried to fall asleep. It was really nice and I stopped her from crying so I was happy. I was too young to know why she was crying.” He took a shuddering breath. Roy watched with sympathy as he fought back the tears. Before, he had ruffled James hair because he knew it would annoy him. Now, he placed a hand on his head and pulled the boys head against his side. James sighed shakily once more. “Now I know why she had been crying.”

“I’m sorry bud,” Roy told him. “I’m sorry you and Mum had to go through that. Your Dad shouldn’t be making you feel that way.”

“Did your Dad make you feel that way?”

Roy wondered if this conversation would ever come up. His father’s trial had been all over the news and James was bound to pick up on it. Even now, two years later, there was still mention of it. It was infrequent, but the boy had always been very bright. James would have been able to connect the dots and clue in on the fact that Roy and the previous Mayor of Central shared the same last name.

“He did. He wasn’t very nice to me. In fact, sometimes he wasn’t very nice _at all_.”

“How did you stop it from getting to you so much?” James moved away from his side, eyes gazing up at Roy. He detected a hint of desperation there. He just wanted to know how to deal with it all. Roy hadn’t actually met or known about his father until his late teenage years. But here was James, who had found out at only seven.

“It was very hard at times. But I worked with your Uncle Havoc and finally put him behind bars where he belonged.”

James’ eyes bugged out of his head. “You arrested him?” he whispered in wonder.

“I did. He was a very bad man and he deserved it. He wasn’t very nice to my mother either.”

“I –” James quickly cut himself off.

“What?” Roy asked, amused by his stricken expression.

“I…”

“It’s okay, I won’t get upset about whatever you are going to ask.”

“I didn’t know you had a Mum,” he mumbled.

Roy blinked at him. “You met her at our wedding.” James’ brow furrowed as he thought. “Her name was Ruth. You played with her daughter Julia.”

Realisation sparked that reaction. “Oh! I remember now!” His grin was infectious as always. He looked slightly guilty though for not remembering her.

“To be honest there were a lot of people to meet there,” Roy chuckled. “I don’t blame you for forgetting.”

“I’d like to meet her again. She was a very nice lady.”

Roy grinned. “She is. And she would love to meet you too. We have just been busy lately but I will make time. I promise.”

A small arm wrapped round his middle, hugging him. “Thanks, Dad.”

“No worries bud.” Roy really didn’t want to tarnish this nice moment, but he needed to direct the conversation back towards the boy’s father. “Now, about your Dad.” The hands around him gripped his t-shirt. It was a minute change but one that spoke of uneasiness. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, all right? No matter what he says.”

“What do you mean?” he asked in a small voice, the hands fisting in Roy’s t-shirt.

“If you don’t want to meet him then you don’t have to. If you want to wait a few days, weeks, months, or even don’t ever want to see him at all then you don’t need to.”

“I don’t know…” He sniffed.

“If you do, then that is up to you as well. You will need to check with your Mum. I don’t know if she will find out a way to contact him.” Roy’s gaze travelled back down the slope. “From the looks of things she still isn’t very happy with him.”

“She once told me she thought she had forgiven him.”

“I’m sure she did think that. We don’t know how these kind of meetings will go until we are actually in the situation. He hurt your Mum. A lot. I don’t blame her for being angry at all.”

“If I did want to speak to him… Would you help me?”

“Of course, bud. So will Mum, I’m sure. But we will need to speak to her first, okay? I technically don’t have anything to do with that side of your family so it isn’t really up to me.”

“But you are part of _my_ family. You do get a say.”

Roy smiled down at the top of James head. “I wish it was as simple as that, but it isn’t.”

James huffed in annoyance. “You always say that,” he mumbled. “That’s just adult for “I don’t want to make Mum upset so I am going to get you to ask her first”.” He pulled away and narrowed his eyes at his step-father.

“Hey,” Roy chuckled. “You are too perceptive for your own good.”

“Perceptive?” He sounded the word out, face scrunching up in confusion.

“You have me figured out too well,” Roy winked.

James grinned then stuck out his tongue.

“I don’t know if I want to meet him yet.” James took a deep breath before continuing. “But I do know that he hurt Mum and I will talk to her about it. I am just happy you are here Dad.”

“Yeah?”

James nodded with his sincerity clear in his expression. “Yeah. Because you make Mum happy and I always want her to be happy.” Roy felt that familiar warm feeling spread across his chest. “And you have been a great Dad to me already. I don’t know if I need another one.” Roy felt his own eyes watering slightly at the acceptance this young boy had shown him. He had welcomed Roy into his small family with no fuss. James was fiercely protective of his mother. The opportunity never came up often but when it did the boy would do anything to try and make her happy. And Roy – a stranger – had stumbled into their life unannounced and James took it upon himself to welcome him with open arms. Now he knew how Riza felt when she met _his_ family for the first time.

“But if I do decide to meet my real Dad then you will always be my _proper_ Dad.”

Roy didn’t stop the tears from falling. 

* * *

 

 _Matt_.

The name was a growl in her head.

She had told James years ago that she thought she had forgiven him. But seeing him here now evidently she was wrong.

The moment she had set eyes on her ex her anger flared in a way she had never felt before. It burned in her chest and stomach. There was a fire within her that she couldn’t put out. A fire that _he_ had started elven years ago.

She just hadn’t been aware of it until now.

She had been too timid and submissive when she was younger so these feelings never really found a place in her heart. But she had changed a great deal over the last decade. She would put up with his bullshit no more.

Riza didn’t want James to see or hear this conversation. With the emotions raging within her now Riza had no idea what she would say in the heat of the moment. He didn’t need to see his mother get worked up like this.

Roy didn’t need to hear this either. This was her past. And while he was welcome to it wholly, Riza clearly hadn’t dealt with it herself. This was something she needed to do by herself. For too long she had been avoiding this situation. And who could blame her? The bastard _left her_ while she was _pregnant_ with his child. She had told herself he didn’t matter to her anymore. And in truth, he didn’t. She had moved on. She was with Roy now.

But that didn’t stop years of pain and suffering. Her anger was justified, she felt. No, she knew.

“Riza?” Matt asked in wonder. There was a hint of fear in his voice probably because of the glare that had slowly begun to form in her face.

“Matt,” she answered coolly. She reigned in that anger. She was not one who was prone to outbursts. She would keep it under wraps. But if this idiot pushed her buttons in _any way_ she would rain fire and brimstone down upon him.

He let out a breath and a laugh of disbelief followed it. “It’s really you,” he murmured. The way he looked at her… His face was soft as if he was seeing someone he loved after a long time apart.

_What?!_

“What do you want?” The ice in her tone made his face falter.

“I... I don’t know. I saw you across the park. And I saw…” he trailed off looking to the left in the direction Roy and James had travelled. The pair were at the end of the path. Roy’s back blocked James from view, which she was secretly pleased about. This bastard didn’t deserve to look at her son.

“What is his name?”

Riza narrowed her eyes. He didn’t deserve to know.

But the way he was looking at her… He was so full of regret and sorrow. She could see it in Matt’s eyes. They pulled her in the same way they had done when they were teenagers. She wanted to open up and tell him everything. She felt an inkling of the need to forgive him…

No.

She straightened, eyes forming a glare once more.

No. She was not a simpering teenager anymore. She was a grown woman. Roy was her husband. This man before her had left her pregnant, disappearing after she revealed what should have been their happy news. He had hurt her in such a way that she no longer wished to love anyone ever again, besides her son. Roy had come along and soothed her pain. He had brightened her life even more than her son already had. It had opened her up to the possibility once more.

She had been terrified when she first thought she was falling for Roy. She didn’t want to get hurt again. She often thought, and still did, that is there was to be another “Matt Repeat” she would break. Her heart couldn’t take that. Her father had beaten her. Matt had left her. Her childhood was isolated and lonely. There had been nothing but pain. Matt had dispelled that during the brief time they had been together in high school but he had brought it back again just as quickly.

No. She would not forgive him because he didn’t deserve that kindness. Respect was earned and this man had done nothing to earn hers. He had stomped all over it and set it on fire.

“You don’t get to know that,” she spat. Use the anger. Keep him at bay because if he tried anything she wouldn’t be able to stop herself.

“Why?” He actually looked genuinely hurt.

Riza barked a laugh but it was devoid of any humour. “You actually have to ask that?”

Matt sighed and cast his eyes downwards. Ashamed.

Good. He wasn’t entirely delusional.

“Riza…” His eyes were wet as they met her gaze. “I am so sorry for leaving. I didn’t want to…”

“What?” she asked incredulously.

Matt floundered for a moment. “Your father… He told me to leave…”

Oh _, did he_ now? Why did that not surprise her?

Also, how convenient of an excuse. Blame a man who could no longer defend himself. Blame a man who she had no way of contacting to find out if it was true.

“I was only a kid. I didn’t know what to do. He threatened me –”

“We were both just kids,” she interrupted. The ice was back in her tone, freezing him in place. “We were both kids and you left me to suffer by his hand alone.” His face paled. “You knew what he did to me growing up. You _knew_ what you were getting yourself into that night. The night our son was conceived we both knew what we were doing. We were both consenting adults. Don’t try to worm yourself out of it because you feel guilty now.” Her words held so much venom she surprised even herself.

“What was I supposed to do?” he cried.

“I expected you to step up,” she snarled. “I expected you to not leave me while I was fucking pregnant with your kid. Apparently basic human decency was too much to expect from you.”

Matt swallowed. He knew she was right. _She_ knew she was right. The words flowed from her mouth easily as if she had been saving them up over the years.

“Can I at least –?”

“No.”

She knew what he was going to ask. He didn’t earn the right to meet James just because they shared the same blood. Not yet anyway.

“Riza, please –”

“So you are going to beg? Where was all this sentiment and care when I was pregnant, huh? Where was it when I was looking after _our_ child alone? _Where was it_ when I was in the delivery room _by myself_?”

It was harsh. But it was the truth. That was what she wanted an answer for. Where had he even _been_ for the last eleven years? He had disappeared seemingly off the face of the earth, made no move to contact her or find her. And now he suddenly shows up expecting to start a relationship with his kid? Not a chance.

“Riza –”

“Don’t “Riza” me,” she spat, mimicking his simpering voice. “That shit won’t work on me anymore. And right now I don’t want you near my fucking son. He is yours by blood, yes. But that’s it. You have to earn the right to a relationship and whimpering like a child isn’t going to get you anywhere.”

Riza turned on her heel and stormed off. If she stared at his pathetic face any longer she was sure she would tear his head off his shoulders.

She was so fucking _angry_.

She didn’t know where she was headed. She just needed out. Out of this stuffy heat and as far away from Matt as possible. Her breath shortened as she walked. Suddenly she began to choke on her tears. She felt them build behind her eyes. The pressure blurred her vision but she kept staring ahead, willing them away. She would make it home before she broke down. Riza refused to do it in the street.

The slamming of her apartment door was satisfying. Finally, sitting on her couch, she let everything loose. She hugged her sides tightly as the sobs wracked her body. Her whole frame shuddered with each breath. It was a struggle to breathe. She had fallen onto her side and curled onto a ball on the piece of furniture.

She didn’t hear the apartment door open.

Suddenly she was bundled in a set of warm arms. Riza clutched them tightly as her upper body was hoisted up off the couch. She was drowning and this was her life raft. She breathed in the scent of Roy. He was safety. He was home.

He would make her feel better.

“Shh…” Roy soothed as he stroked her hair. His arms were tight around her body, pulling her tightly against his body as he rocked her. The pressure was nice. It made her feel wanted. Matt and her father had left her feeling hurt, unloved, and unwanted. Roy was the opposite of that. He always had been.

“It’s going to be okay,” he murmured. “We’ve got you.”

That made her cry harder. What did she do to deserve such a loving person as him?

Going by her previous track record everyone left her in her life. Roy had yet to do that. There was a tiny part of her that feared it. Everyone else had, why wouldn’t he?

But then she thought of her son. The boy loved her unconditionally. Then, Jean and Rebecca. Rebecca had taken her in no questions asked when she turned up in her doorstep sobbing and pregnant. Jean hadn’t asked any questions or protested when Rebecca told him Riza would be moving in with them. He simply gave her his “Jean grin” and asked her if she would like some tea.

She had nothing to fear because she had surrounded herself with the best people she could.

“Mum?” she heard James ask worriedly. The arms around her tightened their hold before loosening, offering her the opportunity to move if she wished.

“Just give her a minute, bud,” Roy told him softly.

Riza squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the tears drip onto Roy’s t-shirt. It was sodden.

She twitched at the unexpected pressure on her leg. A small hand began to rub circles on her calf as her son offered her the only comfort he could in that moment. Roy’s hands were already rubbing circles on her back.

She loved these two so much.

Finally, once her body had stilled and her tears run dry, Riza pulled away. Roy’s eyes met hers and they were so full of love and understanding she almost started sobbing once again. There was an undercurrent of concern in them. Looking up, she pressed a hand to his cheek as thanks. Roy closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. His sigh of relief filled the quiet room.

Riza turned her attention down towards the foot of the couch where James sat, hand still on her leg. He watched the two of them worriedly. His poor bottom lip was red as he had worried it.

“Come here,” she beckoned, sitting up.

James all but launched himself into her arms. She hugged him tightly. Perhaps she squeezed him too hard but he never complained. And she needed the comfort only he could provide.

Riza remembered hugging him like this when he was only three or four. On a night when she was feeling particularly lonely she would creep into his bedroom while he slept. She couldn’t help herself from climbing into his bed and holding her wonderful boy tightly. Those nights were the best night’s sleep she had had.

“I don’t like it when you cry,” he whispered into her shirt. “And if my real Dad does that to you then I don’t want to see him ever again.”

Despite thinking her tear supply was spent, they made themselves known once more, building behind her eyes.

Roy shifted beside her, silently wrapping an arm around her shoulders. He pulled the pair of them to his side leaving Riza feeling complete.

This was her family.

This was her home right here. Sitting in Roy’s arms with James on her lap.

This was her happiness.

“Anyway, Roy is my _real_ Dad now. I don’t need another one.”

The sobbing begun once more, but it was happy.

James pulled back in horror but Riza chuckled at him.

“You are amazing, James Hawkeye.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after spit balling with worldeater337 on tumblr about this moment I changed my outline and added in a whole new chapter because I loved the idea so much :’)  
> apologies for the short length. regular length chapters will return tomorrow

**_James, age 11_ **

James fidgeted in the back seat of the car. Anxiety pooled in his stomach and he couldn’t stop his leg from bouncing on the spot. He was looking forward to meeting his Dad but also not. He didn’t know how to feel. This was the man who had hurt his Mum all those years ago. For a while he didn’t think his Dad deserved to meet him after learning that. But he also thought that was a bit childish and he was a big boy now.

“You okay, bud?”

James glanced up at Roy in the driver’s seat. His eyes were ahead but cast a side long glance towards him. Roy had offered to drive him to meet his Dad. Mum was working anyway but from the look on her face that morning James could tell she didn’t really want to come either.

“Yeah.” He meant it to come out louder than it did.

The car went quiet again and James was kind of glad. His stomach felt sore and he didn’t really feel like talking about anything right now. Roy was good that way. He didn’t keep asking if he was okay or what was bothering him. Mum did the same but she couldn’t help herself sometimes. He tried his best not to get annoyed but sometimes it was hard. He just had to remind himself that Mum loved him very much and she had done everything for him already. It wouldn’t be fair to her if he snapped at her.

That’s why he kept quiet over breakfast as she fussed over him. She kept looking his way but not saying anything and he didn’t know why. Roy tried to draw her attention away by talking to her but James still caught it out the corner of his eye.

She was worried and he wasn’t sure why.

“Here we are.”

They were meeting his Dad in a coffee shop in the centre of town. As he hopped out the car his stomach felt sore again. His hands were sweating. Rubbing them on his trousers he walked from the car park with Roy to the front door. His hand itched to grab Roy’s as they walked but he wasn’t a kid anymore. Older boys and girls didn’t need to hold anyone’s hand as they walked.

His Dad was sitting at a table already when they entered. James felt his skin prickle with an emotion he couldn’t name. But it made him shiver and he felt sweat prickle on his forehead.

“Ready, bud?” Roy asked him quietly.

James nodded.

A hand was placed on his back as Roy steered him around the tables and people navigating the busy shop. Roy’s other hand was placed on his shoulder and James honestly felt so relieved. Roy had always protected him and James was glad he was here to help. Mum didn’t need to cry again because of his real Dad. She didn’t need to meet him.

“James?” Dad asked. No, not his Dad. Roy was his Dad now. His name was Matt.

“Hello.”

Roy sat next to James at the table, opposite Matt, and said nothing. He just watched Matt carefully.

Matt looked away from him for a moment, eyes moving to Dad. He had a funny look on his face, like he didn’t want Dad to be there.

Well… tough!

“Uh… How are you?”

“I’m okay.”

James suddenly felt really uncomfortable when it went quiet. He shifted in his chair.

He had wanted to talk to Matt. He really wanted to meet him. But now that he was here James wasn’t sure. And James especially didn’t like the way he looked at Dad.

“Uh, could you give us a minute?” Matt asked Dad. Matt didn’t look particularly happy. Kind of like how Mum looked when she had been angry at Matt that day in the park.

“No, thank you.”

Matt frowned as Dad crossed his arms. James was surprised and a little scared. He had only heard him really angry before and that was when… When Granddad pointed a gun at him and Mum. Dad was always happy and smiling with James. He didn’t like to see him angry.

“I want Dad to stay.”

Matt jerked his head, eyes boring into James’. He _really_ didn’t look happy but James couldn’t work out why. All he knew was that it was annoying him. Why couldn’t he leave Dad alone? He had done nothing wrong.

Matt was the one who had hurt his Mum.

And that was something James could _never_ forgive.

James had spent too many nights standing outside Mum’s room and hearing her cry. This person across the table had done that. It had happened less often as he got older and when they met Dad it stopped all together. For that reason, he could stay.

“If he goes, I go.” James’ hand clenched into a fist on his leg. His eyes rose defiantly to face his real Dad.

Matt let out a deep breath. “Okay. If that is what you want, son.”

Dad shifted next to him in his seat.

“How are things at school?”

“Why did you leave?”

Silence. Even Dad was still. Matt didn’t answer.

James repeated the question, his voice stronger and louder. Ever since he had found out what had happened before he was born it was a question that had been stuck in his head. Why did his real Dad not love him? He hadn’t even tried. He didn’t even give James a chance.

“Did you not love Mum anymore? Why? What did she do wrong?”

“I…”

“I know you don’t love me but you must have loved Mum enough if you made a baby with her.”

“James.” Dad’s voice was soft, kind of like the way he spoke whenever James was upset.

With a jolt James realised he _was_ upset. The knot in his stomach tightened and he felt himself getting hot. He was angry at Matt. Angry at him for leaving Mum and making her so upset she cried herself to sleep at night. Angry at him for not even giving James a chance to make him happy.

It made James feel like a disappointment.

“Why did you _leave_?”

He didn’t mean to shout. People turned to look at their table before returning to their conversations. But it was quieter now.

“James? Do you want to go?” Dad asked him. A hand was placed on his shoulder but James shrugged it off. Roy looked a bit surprised and James felt bad. But he was too angry to feel anything else.

“I’m sorry, James.” Matt hung his head and stared at the table. “I don’t have an answer that will be good enough for you. I was scared.”

“Scared? Mum was scared when you left her all alone but she still had to get on with it.”

“I wasn’t ready.”

“Neither was Mum but _she_ stayed and helped me when I was born. _She_ still looked after me. She loves me.” He slammed his hand down on the table. There was a small voice inside that told him to calm down.

“I do –”

“Don’t lie!”

Matt shut up. Clearly James had been right.

“I don’t want to see you anymore.” His voice was quieter now and it wobbled. People were staring and James didn’t want them to overhear. Normally he wouldn’t even notice what people around him were doing, whether they were paying attention to what he was saying or not, but this was different. This was special. James didn’t mind Dad hearing it because he trusted him. Dad would protect him if Matt started to be mean to him like he had been mean to Mum.

“You hurt Mum and I can’t forgive you for that. No matter how many times you say sorry.”

He jumped up from his chair, the wood scraping loudly on the tile floor. His eyes found the wood on the table. He didn’t want to look at Matt anymore. He didn’t want to _see_ him anymore. He wanted nothing to do with him.

“Bud…” Roy’s voice was careful. It reminded James of that time he and Mum found an angry cat in an alley and she had tried to calm it down. It had tried to scratch her but she kept her voice careful and eventually the cat calmed down.

James swallowed and felt the pressure in his throat. Tears pricked his eyes but he wouldn’t let them fall. He wouldn’t let Matt know how much he bothered him because he didn’t think Dad would be able to calm him down no matter what he said to him.

“What did we do wrong?” Eyes still on the table, he thought about how much he hated the way his voice wobbled. He hated how quiet it was. He wanted to stand up to his real Dad, not show him how upset he made him.

“James, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Dad replied fiercely. James’ fingers gripped the table tightly. He liked how Dad was sticking up for him but he didn’t want to hear it from Dad. He wanted to hear it from Matt.

Not receiving an answer, James felt the tears fall down his cheeks. Before Matt got the chance to see them James turned away and ran out of the coffee shop.

He needed away from Matt. He didn’t want to look at him anymore. He had made James so sad and had let him down. Dads were supposed to look after their kids! They were supposed to love them! But his real Dad didn’t. He didn’t even bother to answer his simple questions, the same ones that had followed him around like a ghost for years.

He didn’t need him anymore anyway! He had his Mum. He always had. And now he had Roy. He didn’t need another Dad. Especially not one who couldn’t even look him in the eye.

Matt was a coward and James hated him.

* * *

 

Roy watched as James darted out of the coffee shop. Instinctively he moved to follow the boy but Matt moved to chase after him as well. When Roy blocked his path the other man’s eyes flashed in anger.

“I think you have done enough.” His voice was cold as the fury burned through him. Matt even had the cheek to look offended.

“That’s my son. Get out of my way!”

“Your son?” Roy barked incredulously. “You gave up the right to be his father when you left Riza. Don’t pretend now that you care because your conscience has finally caught up with you.” Matt’s face twisted into a snarl. “You _will_ leave that boy alone. You will leave that family alone from now on.”

“Who are you to tell me what to do?”

“I am Riza’s husband.” Matt froze. Whether it was because of the ice in his tone or his title, Roy wasn’t sure. “And I know she has been through enough shit in her life thanks to you. You have caused her nothing but pain and suffering.” Roy straightened, his hands finding his pockets. “So you _will_ leave them alone. Or you will have to answer to me.”

Without looking back Roy made his way out of the coffee shop. His stride lengthened as he remembered James had ran out here by himself.

“Shit,” he muttered. Roy burst through the door, the bell above it clanging loudly to announce his exit. Scanning the street James was nowhere to be found.

“James!” he called. No answer.

_Shit!_

Roy made for the car immediately, taking off at a run. James was upset and he was angry. It worried him. Roy had never seen James like this before. It was likely he had never really felt true anger before. Riza made sure he was loved and well looked after. Roy wasn’t sure if James knew how to deal with it.

What Roy _really_ didn’t want was for James to run off too far. How would he explain that to Riza? _Oh, I left your son to run off while I tore into your ex and now I’ve lost him._

Before his panic could rise into his throat Roy spotted a shadow underneath the car. Cautiously and quietly Roy approached James. He was sitting hunched over hugging his knees on the other side of the car.

“Hey, bud?” Roy called quietly.

James hugged his knees tighter. His shoulders hunched and he was shaking. It was cooler today. This morning it looked like it would rain. After the heat they had experienced in the past few days it had been a shock to the system to step outside without a jumper today.

Roy shrugged his jumper off and placed it over James’ shoulders before joining him on the ground. His assumption was right, the ground was cold. James froze, eyes popping up to face ahead. Slowly his head craned around to face the older man.

“Why did you do that?” It broke Roy’s heart to hear how quiet his voice was. How sad he sounded.

“Because you looked cold.” He looked surprised. “And I thought you could use the comfort.”

Like he was surprised somebody cared about him.

A dull _thunk_ sounded as Roy rested his head back on the car. His knees were bent and he rested his wrists atop them. “Whenever you want to talk, I’ll be here.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Roy detected a note of shame in his voice. “Are you sure?”

James cheeks tinged pink. “I didn’t mean to shout. And I didn’t mean to shrug you off.”

“You were angry and rightly so. I would have done the same.”

“Really?” A hint of hope was in his voice.

“Of course.” He chuckled. “I got into my fair share of fights when I was younger. My temper has never been great.”

“You got into fights?” Roy chuckled at his scandalous whisper.

“Yep. Protecting my younger brothers and sisters. And my older ones too actually. I didn’t really understand why I shouldn’t fight people who were bigger than me. I just saw someone I cared about being hurt and I stepped in.”

“Wow. I didn’t know you could fight.”

Roy grimaced. “I wasn’t very good. I got my nose broken twice, I think. But I was fast.” A panicked thought burst into this head. “Please don’t get into any fights. Your mother would kill me if I gave you any ideas.”

James returned to hugging his knees, expression falling, and returning to face the wall.

“I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to get angry. I don’t like it.”

Roy observed the boy’s body language. He had retreated into himself. It was so unlike James that he remained concerned. He was always so full of life and energy… It was disheartening.

“Then make sure you remove yourself from the situation.”

“What do you mean?”

“If you don’t like getting angry then don’t let people make you angry. If you feel yourself heading that way then just walk away.”

“I can do that?”

Roy nodded. “Of course. It will be hard but don’t be ashamed if you walk away from a fight. There is no pride lost in that. Especially if it stops you from getting so upset.” Once James nodded Roy stood from his pace beside him. James grabbed his outstretched hand and let Roy pull him to his feet. “Let’s go home.”

The drive back was a quiet one. Roy didn’t want to bother the boy with conversation when he was still thinking about the conversation with his real father. A thrill went through him when James called him “Dad”. It was still jarring to him. The day of his and Riza’s wedding was the first time he had done it and honestly Roy felt like he might burst into tears there and then. James looked so proud of himself when he said it too, a knowing look on his face, as if he knew how much it would affect Roy.

“I am proud of you today.” Wide eyes looked up at his. “Really, I am. You met with your Dad after everything he did. That was really brave.”

“ _You_ are my real Dad,” he replied fiercely. Both hands clenched into fists on his lap. Then relaxed in defeat, shoulders falling forwards. “I really wanted to meet him. But when I was in the car I didn’t. I think I just wanted to see what he was like. See if I was anything like him.”

“You can be anything you want to be.” Roy chuckled. “Although you are so much like your mother already, it is scary. Speaking of, I won’t mention anything to her about today. She will want to know but I will leave it up to you what you tell her.”

“Right.”

“But if you ever want to talk, you know I am here for you, don’t you?”

“I know, Dad.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it is currently 2:30am on a sunday but i powered through because all chapters have been written! there will be 31 and only 28 - 30 need edited at this point  
> i am emotional that this is the end  
> expect two chapters tomorrow and two on tuesday

_**James, age 13** _

Boy was he glad to be home. Excitement pooled in his stomach as he remembered he was about to see his two favourite people after a week in the middle of nowhere. He and Riza had only been communicating by email. There had been no phone signal in the town he had been in up North to provide assistance on a murder case. He longed to hear her voice again and he wasn't ashamed to admit that.

He dropped his bag wearily but made sure it didn't make too much noise. It was eleven o'clock at night on a Thursday so James would be sleeping. He wasn't sure if Riza would still be awake. She had mentioned she had a bit of a cold so might have already been in bed.

The sound of a door opening drew his attention. James stepped into the hall, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He still grinned at him though. "Hey, Dad." His greeting was punctuated with a yawn.

"Hey, bud. What are you still doing up?"

"I can't sleep," he shrugged. His eyes were red and so was his nose, the tell-tale sign he was suffering from a cold as well. James sniffed as he walked towards the kitchen, bare feet padding on the laminate floor.

"Do you still have a cold?" Roy asked sympathetically, following his step son.

James nodded as he poured a glass of water for himself. "I'm over the worst of it. Mum isn't though. I think she is still asleep on the couch." Roy raised an eyebrow questioningly. "She has been there since after dinner. I tried to keep her comfy but she has a fever still." He bit his lip worriedly. His eyes snaked their way towards the dimly lit living room and Roy's followed. There was a lump on the couch with blankets piled high. Blonde hair stuck out from the pile, fanning over the arm of the chair and hanging over the side.

James yawned again. "Try get some sleep, bud. I'll look after your Mum." The boy nodded and ambled back to his room, eyes already drooping.

Roy reached the end of the couch where the hair hung towards the floor. He crouched at her head, hand coming up to her forehead. Even in sleep she appeared to be shivering. Her skin was clammy and drenched with sweat. It was hot to the touch so he removed a layer from her body. She curled in on herself, bringing the cover closer to her face to cover her mouth. A sigh left her sleeping form, followed by a shiver.

Roy brushed her fringe away from her face gently. His hand rested on her forehead, thumb stroking her hot skin.

"Riza?" he asked quietly, trying to bring her out of sleep. He was loath to do it but he knew just how uncomfortable this couch could be after a night on it. This also appeared to be worse than "a bit of a cold" like she had said. This was a full blown cold, edging on the flu. He should have known she would downplay it but Roy didn't expect her to be this bad.

He tried again gently calling her name. James' door closed through the hall signally he had returned to bed. The kid had been off school all week apparently with this flu. James probably hated it. The kid thrived on learning and knowledge. No doubt Jessica – one of his oldest friends – had dropped off some school work for him while he was sick.

"Roy?" a quiet voice moaned from under the cocoon of blankets. Riza didn't move but she sighed as he stroked her forehead with his thumb once again.

Boy was it good to hear her voice again even if it was blocked up.

"It's me. How are you feeling?"

She mumbled something incoherently and Roy chuckled.

"In English?"

"Fine," she mumbled. Riza rolled over to face him, eyes still closed, and groaned in pain. Sympathy flooded him and he soothed her gently stroking her forehead. That always calmed her down. One morning he had woken early and just held her while she slept. Repeating the same action she had whined and told him not to stop. It was a fact she still denied to this day but she had been half asleep and incredibly relaxed so didn't know what she was saying.

"Was that a "d" I heard at the end of that word?" he smirked.

"… Maybe."

"Come on. Let's go to bed." She whined and snuggled deeper into her cocoon. Muttering something about not wanting to move. It was too cold. "The couch is not a very comfortable place to sleep when you have the flu."

"It's fine…"

He chuckled at her antics. This was so far away from the usual Riza. But at the same time, it wasn't. She was so open and vulnerable when she was sick but contradicted herself by trying to convince everyone she was fine.

"Come here." Riza was not particularly pleased with him removing all her layers. Her ski was drenched but she still shivered uncontrollably. The apartment  _was_  cool, Roy would give her that. In fact, probably colder than it should be for the middle of autumn.

"No…" Her whine was pitiful but Roy was determined. Even when she feebly fought him off. "I will make you sick."

"I get flu shots through work. I will be fine."

"I don't think I have the energy to move."

Roy lowered an arm to it was around the back of her knees. The other snaked around her back and he lifted her into his arms. Riza instantly snuggled into his body and wrapped her arms around his neck. Her breath hit that same spot, warming it considerably. He tried not to think about the effect that was having on him as he walked.

Seeing the state she was in Roy felt slightly guilty for leaving them while they were both ill but there was not much else that he could have done. He was simply just glad the case was over now.

Roy placed her gently on the bed wrapping her in the duvet cover. Retrieving the blankets from the couch he added more for her. Instinctively she buried down underneath, her bright red nose disappearing under the fabric.

"Sleep well, love."

Roy placed a kiss to her forehead before returning to the kitchen to make himself something to eat. He grinned when he saw a tub of left over dinner in the fridge for him. James must have taken it out the freezer for him. He was like his mother in that regard, always looking out for him.

What Roy didn't expect, was to wake up sweating. Even half asleep he kicked the duvet cover and blankets off his body. Apparently Riza's fever had taken a turn during the night and now  _he_  was buried under the mound of blankets while she lay on the bed with no cover at all. She continued to snore lightly due to her blocked nose. He couldn't help but grin at the woman next to him. She would never believe him when Roy told her she snored. He had joked before and her glare had shut him up pretty quickly.

Glancing at the clock he saw it was six in the morning. As much as he would love to cuddle back into his wife it was clear she was not to be disturbed. Plus, there was a very large piece of snot in her nose right now that almost made him gag.

Nah. He could wait.

Easing himself from the bed he shivered in the cool morning air. Donning a hoodie he smiled when he noticed it smelled of Riza. She had been stealing his hoodies again. His mind wandered to the possibility she may have missed him so much that she wore his clothes when he was away. He grinned.

An hour later the smell of breakfast filled the apartment. He couldn't do anything to ease their illness but he could at least make breakfast. Bacon sizzled in the pan when James wandered through sleepily. His nose was still bright red, the skin cracked. However his eyes looked more alert than the previous night's.

"Morning, Dad," he mumbled as he took a seat at the table. Then, the boy proceeded to lay his head down upon it, sighing quietly.

"Morning, bud," Roy chuckled, looking over his shoulder. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," he replied, tone optimistic. "My head still feels fuzzy though and my nose hurts."

"I have some cream you can put on the skin. It will cool it down. Just remind me after breakfast."

"Thank you," he whispered, as if Roy had just offered him water in the desert, not some aloe cream to put on his nose.

"Here, dig in." Roy walked over to the table and placed the bacon and sausage he had been cooking onto a plate. Picking the dish up from where Roy had planned to sit, he offered it to James.

"What about you?" he asked, frowning.

"I can make more."

The two lapsed into silence as James ate. The radio warbled in the background quietly, offering a cheery tune for Roy to cook to on this Saturday morning. These mornings were his favourite. It didn't happen often, him waking up earlier than Riza. Usually they were both up at the same time. Apparently James had always been an early riser so Riza had always woken up about six-ish to get him organised for school. However when it did happen, Roy made sure breakfast was already going before she could leave their bed.

Roy had to spend a few minutes rousing her from sleep. He really didn't want to do it but she was beginning to whimper. Concerned he had tried to coax her awake. When asked, a fever dream was the only explanation she had given.

About her father.

Opting to say nothing – partly because she almost fell asleep again – Roy placed the tray with her breakfast on her lap and kissed her good morning.

It would do no good to further drag out that mess. Berthold was gone now and couldn't hurt her anymore. When – and if – she ever wanted to talk to him about her father then Roy would be there. He knew Riza better than to push the subject.

Later that night the trio were gathered in the living room watching a film. James had wrapped himself in a blanket on the couch next to his mother. A bowl of popcorn sat in his lap, his phone on the arm of the chair. Every so often it would light up and he would all but pounce on the piece of tech to reply to whoever was texting him. Roy grinned to himself. There was only one person Roy knew who could make his step son smile the way he was.

Speaking of special people in one's life, Riza sighed in contentment as she wrapped her blanket tighter around her. Her eyes were heavy, he could tell in the dim light of the room. But she continued to watch, only yawning occasionally.

Mother and son had been determined to remain on the couch while Roy sat in the armchair across from them. The couch had been dubbed "The Sick Couch" and he wasn't permitted entry.

"That's stupid," he had snorted when they told him, dead serious expressions on their faces.

"I'm not joking," Riza replied.

"Why?"

"Because we don't want you to get sick." While he should be touched by their concern their tone suggested it wasn't that at all.

"Why?" he asked, eyes narrowed.

"Because you are really whiny when you are sick," James replied without hesitation.

"What?" Roy asked incredulously.

"Yep. Straight up "oh woe is me I cannot function because I am sick and now the whole world must suffer too"," Riza winked but her cheeky comment received instant karma because a coughing fit overtook her frame.

"I do not," he mumbled petulantly, too quiet for the too invalids to hear. He had sulked as they laughed at his pride was in tatters on the floor. "You two are mean when you are sick."

Both looked at Roy. He was struck dumb by the stark similarity between the two of them. Both expressions sardonic, they raised one eyebrow. He would have laughed at the synchronisation. Instead he sulked even further, crossing his arms and muttering about "flu shots".

James was a carbon copy of his mother. No doubt about it. But seeing in action was always unsettling. Especially when they were rallied against him like this. That happened often. It was always good natured teasing but two against one was grossly unfair and he stood by that claim. Riza had just rolled her eyes when he admitted it.

Both were nodding off opposite him when he felt indignation slowly creep into his body. The film was awful. Poor script, poor acting, and horribly predictable. James and Riza had fought him to watch this one – again, two against one – yet here they were, falling asleep as the main character cried about the latest man who had left her, despite having only met him that morning.

I mean, really.

_Oh my god, you are a grown woman. Stop whining like a child. Going by past experience you will have met another man who is "the love of your life" in ten minutes time._

Sure enough, the main character did. Roy sighed heavily as round three of Tears and Anguish approached, that was when he noticed the two dozing.

Riza grumbled as the piece of popcorn bounced of her head. A glare found its way to his grinning face.

"You two are forcing me to watch this. The least you could do is stay awake."

Instead of returning fire with her own popcorn, a pillow was launched at his head. Despite his irritation – it wasn't real, more affectionately annoyed - he laughed.

"Shut up and let me enjoy my trashy film."

"How are you going to enjoy it when you are asleep?"

"You are cruising," she warned. "I will walk over there and sit on you."

"I'd like to see you try with all that wrapped around you."

He didn't expect her to launch herself out of her seat with much more energy than Riza had possessed the entire day. Storming over to him, Roy held in his snicker as her eyes watered and her face screwed up, gearing up to sneeze. Laughing at her would decidedly not help his case right now.

Roy let out a painful  _oof_  as, true to her word, Riza sat on his lap. Except she brought her entourage of blankets with her increasing the weight on his body. And Riza wasn't exactly gentle. She flung herself down atop him. A whine left him as she readjusted, hitting him in a  _particularly_ delicate area of his lap.

"Now  _shut up_  and watch."

He wheezed as he agreed and promptly shut his mouth.

"Why do you love that film so much?" Roy asked disdainfully as the credits rolled. James was asleep now. Roy had wrapped his arms around her body, holding her close to him. Riza's head had instinctively found his shoulder. Unable to help himself, Roy had rested his cheek against it, relishing the feeling of Riza being in his arms once more.

"Because I do," she replied defensively.

He chuckled. "That's not a valid reason."

"Yes, it is."

"Riza."

She mumbled something but Roy didn't quite catch it as the music swelled to a crescendo. Even James stirred at the sudden noise.

"What?"

"It's something James and I used to watch all the time when he was young."

That… was not the answer he was expecting.

"He liked the colours and the music. As a toddler he would drag the DVD over to me and whine until I put it on."

Roy smiled at the idea of three year old James begging his mother to play this awful film for him. The arms around her tightened.

"It always made him fall asleep. That part with the singing? That was his favourite. Knocked him out like a light."

"See, if you had  _explained_  that…"

Riza smiled against him, snuggling closer. "I know it is awful but it is  _ours_ , you know?"

"I get it." His reply was soft as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

Riza chuckled, her breath rattling in her chest, proceeded by a cough. "And yes, it is awful. But he hasn't been sleeping well these past few nights and I wondered if it would still work its magic." Her voice softened, head turning towards her son. "Apparently it does."

* * *

 

Oh shit.

Oh  _shit_.

This… was unexpected.

Well, it was entirely expected. She and Roy had been  _very_  active recently. As soon as she got over her flu Roy was adamant to "make up for" the week he had left her alone. Not that Riza minded of course. She didn't mind  _at all_. This was just unexpected timing.

But not unwanted.

As Riza looked down at the piece of plastic in her hand she couldn't help but grin.

There was going to be another addition to their family, apparently.

"Oh my god," she whispered happily. She washed her hands quickly and disposed of the test. She didn't bother getting more than one. When she tested if she was pregnant with James she had bought eight of them. All eight had told her it was positive. Plus, she had missed her period. It had been due to start a week and a half ago but there was nothing. She didn't mention it to him but Riza knew in her gut this was what was coming.

Placing a hand on her stomach she smiled. Tears of joy pricked her eyes as she thought about the child she was carrying.

 _His_  child.

They had both discussed having children. Roy was extremely excitable about it. He loved James to pieces and treated him as his own, but Riza knew he wanted another child. So had Riza. Despite everything she had thoroughly enjoyed raising James and would do it again in a heartbeat.

However, James was thirteen now. When he had reached the age of ten she thought about how nice it was that her son was old enough to be able to do things by himself and how he was old enough to understand what was going on in the world around him.

Now she would have to do it all over again.

But this time she wouldn't be alone.  _That_  made her even happier.

Plus, if she could do it once by herself then the second kid would be no problem.

Checking her watch she noted it was only two o'clock. Roy didn't finish until five and the urge to phone him there and then was so great that she automatically reached for her phone in her jean pocket.

No.

This was not something to do over the phone. Plus, she wanted to see his face when she told him. It would likely be a picture.

Those three hours dragged so slowly. James walked home from school by himself now too so she didn't even have to leave the apartment to pick him up. His high school was considerably closer than his previous school so Riza had no issue with him walking by himself. Plus, he was at that age where he didn't particularly want her or Roy to meet him. So, she fidgeted as she waited impatiently for him to arrive home.

Two voices entered the apartment and Riza smiled. She could hear Jessica's laugh echo through the hall after James said something amusing. Riza could remember when she was only little. She had pretty much staked her claim on James on the first day of school, announcing "he my friend now" as a five year old would. The pair had been inseparable ever since.

Riza knew they were closer now more than ever. She could see it in the way James looked at her, the way he blushed whenever his mother insinuated there was more than just a friendship between them. He never denied it.

Roy, of course, offered nuggets of dating advice wisdom. Riza just rolled her eyes but James lapped it up. Apparently Roy was very proud of the fact that he had become James' wingman.

"He's thirteen not thirty," Riza had reminded her husband. "He doesn't need a wingman. Especially not someone who is over thirty."

"You wound me, Riza. You really do."

She rolled her eyes.

"I've got to teach him about the dating game."

"Oh yeah, because you were so good at it."

Roy placed a hand on his chest, horrified. "I am insulted you would insinuate I am anything  _but_  overly qualified for this position."

"I don't doubt your skills. Your pining was a great turn on." She laughed at his frown. "But I don't think James wants a thirty four year old wingman. He doesn't even want you to pick him up from school."

"Pfft," Roy disagreed, waving his hand to dismiss her very valid point. " _I_  will help him win Jessica's heart. Just you wait and see."

Well, she was still waiting.

Riza thought James just humoured Roy to be polite. But he was happy and to be honest it warmed her heart to see them bonding over something. It always had.

"Hey, Mum," James greeted cheerily. Well, someone was particularly chipper this afternoon. Could it be something to do with the hand he was holding just seconds ago before snatching it back to his side upon spotting his mother? Who knows? Jessica looked slightly bashful – which was not in her nature at all – and her cheeks turned a lighter shade of pink.

"Hello you two," she smirked, eyes moving between the two then down to their hands. James coughed but his grin never left his face. "Did you have a good day at school?"

"Yeah. We are going to study in my room." He faltered and ended the sentence sooner than it sounded like he wanted to. Like he had more to say but couldn't quite formulate it into words. He glanced nervously at Jessica.

Oh,  _bless_ , was that his way of asking permission? Riza kept a lid on her grin, opting to just enjoy the warmth and pride seep into her chest.

James was a gentleman at heart. Even without teaching him he offered to hold the door open for everyone. It proved difficult at times because there was nothing worse than a five year old who wanted to help out and hold the door for everyone in a  _very_  busy shopping centre. Riza's saviour had come in the form of kindly older ladies who cooed at him for his offer before grabbing the door themselves. As soon as they did Riza shot them an appreciative glance and grabbed her son before his attention could return to the door he had already been holding open for the past five minutes.

It stemmed from the need to help everyone. She had seen that in him since he was young and made her extremely proud.

"Have fun."

The nervousness left James' face and he grinned. Grabbing Jessica's hand he pulled her back into the hall. His bedroom door slammed closed.

She felt a slight pang in her chest at the thought of her little boy growing up. For so long it he had depended on her entirely but now he was becoming more and more independent every day. He had Jessica too, who provided support and comfort in a way a mother wouldn't be able to. She was glad, of course, but her maternal instincts wanted to irrationally keep him all to herself.

Sighing, Riza turned on the television to await Roy coming home. Maybe watching Netflix would make the next hour go by faster.

It didn't.

However when Roy  _finally_  walked through the door her heart leapt into her throat.

"I'm home!" he called into the apartment, door closing behind him. Riza didn't know what to do with herself. She wanted to stand and greet him but her eyes had become pretty heavy while watching television. They do say your second pregnancy is worse than the first. She would probably tire more easily and would show sooner than she had while pregnant with James.

She couldn't wait.

Humming to himself, Roy ambled his way into the living room. Once his eyes set on her he grinned. A bee line was made for her current position and he kissed her.

Riza would never tire of that. It had been the same ritual for the past three years they had been living together. On the odd day Roy was home before her, or he had a day off and she didn't, the roles were reversed.

"Hello to you too," she grinned.

"Where is James?"

"In his room studying with Jessica."

"Oh?" Roy inquired, a single eyebrow rising. "And you let them?"

Riza rolled her eyes. "Of course I did. I trust our son."

Roy's eyes that had moved towards the hall snapped back to her face. Surprise widened them a fraction. They always did that when she referred to James as their son, and not just hers. Riza got a kick out of it.

"I know you do. I do too." He ran a hand through his hair. "I just… Know what it was like to be a teenage boy."

Riza smiled, placing her head against his arm. Roy had placed his palm down on the arm of the chair while he perched upon it. "Spoken like a true father. I'm more concerned about Jessica."

Roy snorted as he moved the hand from the arm of the chair to the top of her head. "That girl has been bossing him around since she was five. What makes you think he is going to say no if things get a little… out of hand?"

Riza laughed. "I don't think we have to worry about anything like  _that_." She chuckled once more, remembering how jumpy he had snatched his hand back from within Jessica's grasp.

The hand atop her head slid down the back of it and her neck to rest upon her shoulder.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't worry. The most scandalous thing they will be doing is holding hands. They will definitely be studying. James pretty much asked permission if it would be all right to do it in his room rather than at the table."

"He did?"

"Yes. And I wouldn't want to cramp his style after all. This will be good for them. I don't want to suffocate them by keeping them in my sight every time they are here together. Offering that trust and respect to them means they won't do anything reckless or rebellious."

"Speaking from experience?" His attempt at a joke fell  _really_  short of the mark and his face fell as he realised what he had said. "Riza I'm –"

"Not my experience," she replied softly. Her childhood was firmly behind her. She got that closure when her father was sent off to prison for trying to murder Roy. The truth Berthold had admitted to always made her feel nauseous. "But from Rebecca's," she smiled. The woman had been wild as a teenager before she finally got serious with Jean. Her parents were very strict and more than a few times she had begged Riza to play decoy for her, to sleep in her bed in case her parents checked on her in the night while she met with some boy. Riza hadn't minded at all, especially after her mother died. It gave her an escape from her suffocating home life.

"I bet she would have been a riot as a teenager."

"She really was," Riza chuckled. "It was nice. We were polar opposites but she has been my best friend since we were kids. The one true constant in my life. Then James came along, then you." She turned her head up to face him. Her heart skipped a beat when she almost said "and finally, another baby". Not yet. She wanted the moment to be just right. Not while she spoke about her poor excuse for a childhood.

"That is good to hear." A kiss was placed atop her head and Riza leaned it against his body. "Speaking of good news…" His grin was  _very_  mischievous and Riza wasn't sure if she liked that. "I got a phone call from the solicitor today."

"You did?" Excitement and apprehension swelled within her.

"Riza." His grin widened. "We got the house."

They had put an offer in on a house on the outskirts of Central. Living in the city was great but Riza had always wanted a house of her own. Roy assured her that it didn't matter where they lived as long as they were together. He was incredibly sappy that way but it warmed her heart. And now, Riza thought with a grin, with baby number two on the way they wold definitely need more space.

The commute would be longer for them both in the morning. James could get a bus to school – something he was far too happy about Riza had thought to herself. But perhaps that was because of her own realisation that he was no longer a child. They would be closer to his mother's house. That hadn't been a deal breaker but it meant she could come round a visit more often, something Riza was extremely happy to accommodate for. She looked forward to her Thursday lunches with Ruth every week. The woman was extremely warm and kind to her. She was always asking after James and how he was doing at school, as if she was actually his grandmother. It was incredibly touching. On a Saturday Roy would take her out for breakfast when he wasn't working.

"Oh my god," she breathed, still not quite believing that they were going to be homeowners. Together. "Oh my god!" Riza wrapped her arms around his neck. In the process she almost knocked Roy off from his perch. "They accepted the offer?" It had been lower than the asking price but the current owners were desperate to sell and move out west.

"They did." He pulled back, eyes full of wonder and excitement for the future.

And she hadn't even told him her news yet.

"That is… perfect timing." Her response must not have been expected because Roy cocked his head to the side, brow furrowing.

"Perfect timing?"

Her stomach flipped several times. Riza just managed to keep a grin off her face. Just.

"We are going to need extra space after all."

"What for?"

She was adamant he figure it out by himself. Riza settled back into her chair, placing a hand on her stomach. His eyes dropped, following the movement. When his eyes widened into saucers she couldn't stop her expression from breaking.

"Are you…?" Riza nodded so sharply it hurt her neck. She grabbed Roy's arm as he swayed in the opposite direction of her, towards the floor. "Oh my god. Oh my god! You are  _pregnant_?"

Hearing the words come from his mouth intensified her excitement. The news had threatened to burst from her all afternoon and hearing Roy finally say it cemented the reality of their situation in her mind.

"And  _that_  was the way you told me?"

Riza laughed.

This was happening.

She was carrying his child.

Tears pricked at her eyes. He had moved round so he was sitting in front of her. Placing both hands atop her stomach he concentrated on it, watching as they rose and fell with her breath.

"I'm going to be a Dad?" His voice was so full of wonder. "Again?" he added again quickly. Riza smiled softly at the guilty look that overtook his face. He needn't have worried so. This  _was_  his first child and that was a fact. She could understand the wonder and excitement that came along with that fact and she wouldn't take it away from him just because he had a step son already. James would be loved just the same by Roy when their baby arrived.

"It's okay," she reassured him. "And yes, you are going to be a father."

Both their visions swam with tears as they looked down at Riza's stomach.

"What's all the shouting about?" James asked entering the room. He paused in the doorway, taking in the scene. Riza sitting on the chair while Roy crouched before her, both his hand son her stomach. Both near crying. "Why are you both crying?" Fear laced his tone and his body stiffened.

"It's okay James," Riza explained. She beckoned her son over to him. "Truly it is, we are happy."

"But why are you crying?" That was the same voice he had used when he stumbled upon her crying in her bed alone at night. Unwanted sad memories flooded her mind at a time where she should be ecstatic.

"They are happy tears." Riza took a deep breath, a wobbly smile on her face. "You are going to be a big brother."

James froze. Then, less than a second later, his face lit up. "You are having a baby?" he whispered.

"We're having a baby," Riza laughed.

Arms were thrown around her neck tightly as James ran across the room and hugged her.

"I have always wanted to be a big brother!" he yelled. He jumped on the spot. "Thank you!" Both Roy and Riza laughed. Trust James to thank them for making him an older sibling. "Is it a boy or a girl?"

"We don't yet," Roy told him. As if remembering he was there too, James suddenly gave Roy the same treatment, hugging him tightly.

"I just found out this afternoon."

"Oh, what if it is a boy?" James asked excitedly. He was literally bouncing, unable to contain his excitement. "I will be able to show him how to play hockey. Oh! If it is a girl I can show her too! And I will have someone to play with. This is going to be so great! Jessica!" he hollered, sprinting out of the room. "I am going to be a big brother!"

"What?" she asked.

The two adults watched their hurricane leave the room. As he had grown older he had calmed down slightly. As he hit puberty he didn't have as much energy but could still become  _very_  excitable, as just exhibited. He left it for when it counted.

"I'm going to be a Dad." His voice was so quiet Riza had to strain to hear him. His breath hitched and his body shuddered. Wetness stained his cheeks and he placed his hands back on her stomach. "I'm going to be a Dad."

And Riza couldn't be happier about that fact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOW YOU ALL KNOW  
> I HAVE BEEN KEEPING THIS INSIDE ME FOR ABOUT TWO WEEKS  
> OH IT FEELS SO GOOD


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for your kind words ;;_;; it truly means the world to me that y'all have let me know what you think  
> another chapter will be posted later on tonight after i finish work so stay tuned!

**_James, age 14_**  

Nervousness had settled into his body as soon as Riza had announced she was pregnant. Nine months later, that feeling still remained. It was constant. Every thought in his mind was concerned about both Riza and the baby’s welfare. Was she too hot? Did he need to turn the AC to a lower temperature? Was she comfortable? Was she hydrated? Was she in pain?

The woman was a saint for putting up with his constant questioning and fussing. Oh, she got annoyed for sure. He could see it in her eyes when he went too far. But he _was_ worried. He was going to be a father to a _new born_ , not a fourteen year old or even a seven year old like James had been when he first met him. This was going to be a squishy, tiny, entirely dependent on both him and Riza _baby_.

He didn’t think he’d ever be ready for it… and then Riza’s water broke and all worried hell was released from within him.

“Oh my god,” he flapped. He had been painting the baby’s room in their new house when she had yelled for him to come down stairs. There was paint everywhere. All over his clothes, in his hair, and on his forearms and hands. He was a state while Riza had abandoned moving cutlery into the newly refurbished kitchen. A protective hand on her stomach, Riza had eased herself onto the couch. “We have to go to the hospital!”

“Roy, it’s okay,” she reassured him. “We’ve got time. Go and finish up painting.”

“What?” he squawked. “No way! We need to go!”

“Roy. Look at me.” Her expression broke through his haze of panic. It told him to calm down and think. He had worked himself up too much for this moment and now he was panicking. Great. “We have time.” He let out his breath in a rush. “Go ~~and~~ get showered and changed then we’ll go to the hospital.”

He nodded sharply. “Right.”

Taking two steps at a time he rushed up the stairs to have the quickest shower of his life. He scrubbed at the paint but it didn’t budge.

“Fuck it.”

He was out and changed in record time.

“Can you get my overnight bag? It’s –” Riza cut off as she gasped, a surprised _oh_ leaving her lips. “It’s in the hall cupboard.”

“Of course.”

“And did you unplug the saw?”

“Uh hu.”

“Did you pack the baby clothes?”

“Yeah.”

Riza sighed, visibly relaxing despite the fact she was in labour.

 _Labour_.

 _Fuck_.

Roy ushered her into the car. She took his offered hand as he helped her into the passenger side of the car. He didn’t miss how it clenched on his for about five seconds before relaxing. Her face only changed slightly, an eyebrow twitch and the corner of her lips pulling downwards.

Taking a deep breath to steady his nerves, Roy started the car and began their journey to the hospital.

When they arrived they had been whisked away into a room. Roy had held Riza’s hand as the contractions intensified and the midwife ran her tests.

“You are about a third of the way along, Riza. That’s really quick!” Roy wasn’t sure how quick in relation to the grand scheme of things but he took the woman’s word on it. His head had been crammed with so much baby knowledge these past few months that now, when it mattered, he drew a blank. “I’ll come back in about an hour to reassess you again. In the meantime, get ready to meet your little girl.”

Roy felt his knees weaken.

 _Little girl_.

He had known the sex of the baby. When the doctor had revealed the sex he had been thrilled. He had always wanted a daughter. And now, with James too, he could have one of each. He would dote on that girl and spoil her for life. He would make sure he was seen as a protector, someone who offered comfort and support, the exact things he had been lacking from his real parents growing up. Chris had done an incredible job. He wouldn’t fault her for that. His mother, out of a well justified fear of his father and anything happening to him, had kept her distance. Something she still regretted to this day. She _always_ tried to make plans with him and Roy was more than happy to oblige. His father, on the other hand, was well aware of who his son was but had done nothing but torment and threaten him for the entire time he had known his son.

That wouldn’t happen again.

“Are you ready to meet her?”

Riza’s soft voice drew him out of his thoughts. He must look quite the sight. Covered in paint and completely lost in his own head sitting in a bright orange plastic hospital chair.

“I’ve been ready since you told me you were pregnant.”

Riza chuckled. She lay her head back on the pillow, face contorting in pain. Roy was by her side in an instant, gripping her hand tightly. Riza breathed through the contraction, her hand squeezing his like a vice. But Roy never complained. This wonderful woman had carried another life inside her for nine months, not once complaining about the discomfort and pain that task brought on. He wouldn’t complain when she squeezed his hand so hard the ends of his fingers turned a deep red.

He had tried to keep her as comfortable as possible throughout the pregnancy but there was only so much he could do. He had rubbed her feet when they had sat on the couch after a hard day getting their new house ready. He had massaged her shoulders before going to bed, something that made her nod off instantly.

Riza had been incredibly tired in the latter months of her pregnancy. She slept for about fourteen hours a day. At least nine hours at night and a nap or two during the day. The doctor assured them this was normal. Well, assured Roy.

“The added weight and the fact that this is her second child adds extra strain on the body. If you’re in the process of moving house right now too it will take even more out of Mrs. Mustang due to the stress.” That made him feel bad. He had to pick _now_ of all times to move house?

He had pressed the issue with the solicitor, pressuring the owners into giving them an answer. Riza had fallen in love with the house as soon as she set eyes on it and there was no way he was giving it up without a fight.

Of course, trying to tell Riza to take it easy was like talking to a brick wall. She would nod and agree before continuing on with whatever task she was doing. She ignored him completely. He had learned that with her mood swings it was better not to press her. The first time he had tried to force her to take a break she had gone from “sure, okay Roy” with a roll of her eyes to glaring at him so intensely he had to take a step back. She wouldn’t talk to him for about fifteen minutes then fall into his arms crying about it.

It was frightening.

“Don’t fret, Roy,” the midwife had reassured him with a kind smile. “This is completely normal.”

“She better get out soon,” Riza panted as she rode out the pain. “I forgot how much this sucks.”

“Just breathe,” he encouraged, at a loss of what else to do. He placed a hand on her clammy forehead and she sighed at the cool sensation. Sweat prickled her skin already, causing her bangs to stick to her skin. He swept them aside to ensure his palm covered her forehead. His thumb stroked in between her eyebrows. She moaned at the sensation and he smirked. This was something he had found calmed her down and relaxed her.

Shortly afterwards Riza fell into a fitful sleep. She hadn’t been sleeping well this last week – something to do with the position of the baby. Whatever rest she could get he would give it to her.

“Mustang?” Catalina asked with a gasp, anticipation in her voice.

“Hey. Riza’s in labour.”

“Oh my god,” she whispered but he could hear the smile in her voice. “Well, what are you doing calling me! Get back in there!”

He chuckled. Running a hand through his hair before rubbing at his face, he tried to wipe away his anxious energy. “She’s all right. She’s sleeping right now.”

“Okay, good. Do you want me to pick up James?”

The pair had made a contingency plan for the different times the baby would be born. If they were all at home it would be fine. However if James was at school either Catalina would pick him up after school and bring him to the hospital. She was off work right now on maternity leave right now anyway so was always on call if anything happened with Riza.

“If you could, that would be great.”

“Okay. We’ll be there as soon as school is out. Don’t worry about us though. I’ll stay with James until you guys are ready.”

He nodded as if she could see him. His throat tightened, the reality hitting him once again. This was it. It was finally happening.

“And Roy?”

“Yeah?” He was surprised to hear her use his first name.

“Stop worrying.” Her voice was soft. “Everything will be fine. You’re going to be a great Dad.”

“Thanks Becca.” He swallowed past the lump in his throat.

“Now get back in there and meet your kid. Tell Riza I said hi.”

“Will do. Bye.”

Five hours later found them in the delivery room.

“Okay Riza, I need you to push as hard as you can for me,” the midwife stated calmly.

_Oh shit._

Riza’s scream started out low before building. She collapsed back onto the pillows panting. Roy remained by her head, one hand in hers and the other stroking the top of her head.

“Excellent Riza. Now, I just need a couple more from you then you can meet your daughter.”

Riza whimpered into Roy’s ear.

“Come on, Riza,” he encouraged softly. “You can do this. I know you can.”

“It hurts,” she whined, gasping loudly in pain. Her face screwed up, teeth clenched together.

“I know it does, love,” he soothed, his hand giving hers a tight squeeze. “And you have done _so_ well already. Just a couple more, that’s all they’re asking for then we can meet her.”

Riza nodded and Roy winced as her hand gripped his with such a force he had to bite his lip to stop from crying out. Damn, she was strong!

“There’s the head,” the midwife muttered. “Come on Riza. Three more pushes. As hard as you can!”

She screamed again and it tore at Roy’s chest to hear it. He peeked over the sheet between her legs, an overwhelming urge to see his daughter surging through him. He caught sight of a mop of black hair and his heart stopped.

Riza jerked him back towards her, their joined hands moving to atop her chest.

“Oh… She is beautiful Riza,” he whispered. He forgot about the pain in his hand – he was sure he had heard something crack. “She’s so beautiful. You’re gonna love her.”

His hand was fresh with pain once more. Finally managing to tear his eyes away from their daughter, they moved to her face. Determination set into her features even as the tears bunched at the corner of her eyes.

“One more!”

Another scream filled the room but it was joined by a baby’s cries. Riza’s soon cut off as she registered it, eyes popping open and chest heaving with breath she craned her neck to see their child. No matter how much she fought her body, it gave into exhaustion and she fell back onto the pillow.

Both parents could not and would not tear their eyes away from the screaming baby. Roy thought it was the most beautiful sound in the world.

“Congratulations on your baby girl.” The midwife’s grin stretched across her face and spoke of someone who _really_ loved their job. Roy hadn’t thought much about the process himself – his life hadn’t given him much of a chance to think about conceiving a child. But childbirth was a whole other experience in itself. It was something not everyone got to experience and this woman delivered children every day. He would absolutely believe now that the miracle of birth never got old, no matter how many times you witnessed it.

And while he didn’t want to see and put Riza through that pain again, he couldn’t deny it was one of the most beautiful moments of his life.

As he held his daughter in his arms an hour or so later he fully realised this was what these past nine months had been leading up to. All that worrying about being able to handle what was coming his way, he never stopped to think about what that “what” was.

It was this bundle of joy in his arms.

He had always thought about how Riza was doing, how comfortable she was. He completely let it slip from his reality that there would be a baby at the end of it all. He was so overwhelmed with both love and excitement that he didn’t know how to appropriately react. Instead he just gazed down at the pink baby, eyes never leaving her face.

Atop her head was a patch of dark hair. Not blonde. Black. Like his. The same almond eyes graced her features. He almost cried when he noticed that. But her face was all Riza. The same nose, the same cheeks. He saw them both in her at the same time.

He had often thought people who said that were either high or just being ridiculous. There was no way a small ball of pink mush could look like someone else. Hughes had tried to convince him otherwise, shoving new born photos of Elicia under his nose.

“I know, Hughes. I was there. I don’t need to see the photos again.”

“When you become a Dad, you will know _exactly_ what I’m talking about.”

Roy had snorted. “ _If_ ,” he had corrected.

He chuckled to himself now. He would begrudge saying it, but Hughes had been right. He could picture the other man’s smug face already.

The baby shifted in his grasp, making such a soft sound that Roy thought he might begin to cry at the sound. He hadn’t realised he already was. His daughter had taken all of his attention away from him.

So, while he cried, he bounced the new born in his arms, holding her protectively to his chest.

* * *

Riza watched as Roy held their daughter in his arms.

 _Their_ daughter.

She smiled.

He had often worried about – among a _whole_ load of other things – holding the baby once they were born.

“What if I drop them?”

“What if I hurt them?”

He needn’t have worried because watching him now, he as a pro. She had done her best to reassure him because she had the same fears before James was born. But once that kid was in your arms you realise you were being stupid all along.

With her lying in the bed, Roy’s back to her as he cradled their daughter, she couldn’t think of a more perfect sight. The only thing missing was her son. With a jolt she realised she hadn’t called Rebecca to let her know she was in labour like they had planned.

“Roy?” she called softly.

Riza froze when she saw his face. Tears fell down his cheeks and he looked so proud of her that she almost gasped.

“She’s perfect,” he whispered, eyes locking on the child once more.

Riza smiled to herself. There was no way she would be able to part those two, no matter how hard she tried, and that thought brought a bit of comfort with it.

This child would be loved by _both_ her parents.

Her hands itched to hold her and Roy had drawn his attention away from his baby girl long enough to notice her shifting. He walked over slowly and carefully, the residual feeling of fear about dropping her still present in the way he held himself.

“Here she is,” he introduced softly.

Riza had passed out shortly after giving birth. Her body ached and even now her eyes were heavy but she had drawn herself back long enough to meet their daughter.

Riza’s tears fell hot and fast down her face as she held her. The baby shifted in her swaddle, small mouth opening to reveal a tiny tongue.

She was so small, so fragile, so _perfect_.

“She’s beautiful,” she whispered. “She has your eyes,” Riza added after clearing her throat. Judging by the look on his face Roy was very proud of that fact.

“She has your face though.” He had perched upon the side of the bed, an arm wrapping around her shoulders. His free hand pulled away the blanket from their daughter’s face, giving him a better look at her small face.

“Her hair is beautiful,” Riza murmured, smoothing down the incredibly soft tuft atop her head. “I was kind of hoping she would have your hair.”

“Really?”

Riza shrugged. “I don’t know why. I just did.”

The hand on her shoulder squeezed.

“Did you call Rebecca?”

“Yeah. It’s all sorted.” The baby stirred once more. “What name shall we give her?”

They had spent months coming up with names and had narrowed it down to two or three for each. Both had agreed to wait until they met their little girl before picking a name.

“Mia,” Riza stated lips quirking into a smile. The name felt so right looking down at her small face.

“She looks like a Mia.”

She grinned at his comment, eyes finding his. That had been her favourite of the three names.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course. perfect.”

She kissed him then, grabbing the front of his t-shirt lightly and pulling his lips down to hers.

A tentative knock at the door signalled the arrival of a nurse.

“Hello. You have a visitor if you are both up to it. James Mustang?”

Riza’s heart fluttered at the mention of her son’s new surname. Riza hadn’t put much thought into James changing his last name to fit hers. So when he brought it up, it surprised them both.

“I want to be like you two,” the eleven year old stated. “You get to be a Mustang now and so do I.”

Roy and Riza had both shared a look.

“Are you sure?” she asked him.

His vigorous head nod was indication enough. “Yeah! I don’t want to be the odd one out because if you have a baby then they will be baby Mustang and I will still be Hawkeye.”

So, it had been changed legally a few months after the wedding.

“Yes, we are ready,” Riza answered the nurse, eager to see her boy.

The thirteen year old poked his head around the door a few minutes later. He was so quiet that the two adults didn’t even hear him.

“Oh… wow…”

Both she and Roy glanced at the door where James stood frozen on the spot, eyes zeroed in on the baby in his mother’s arms.

“Are you ready to meet your little sister?”

“Sister?” he stuttered as if in a daze. His feet slowly carried him over to the bed. He looked like he was in a daydream as he moved, completely unaware of all that was going on around him.

They had kept the sex of the baby secret from everyone else. It wound people like Maes and Rebecca up no end but Roy’s mother and Aunt Chris were just happy they were having a kid.

“Yeah, bud. You’re a big brother now.”

James finally reached their side and gazed down at the baby.

“Say hello to baby Mia,” Riza stated, her daughter’s name rolling off her tongue proudly.

Yes. She was definitely a Mia.

“Mia,” James sounded out. His gaze flicked up to his mother’s with a wide smile. “I like it!”

“I am glad you do.”

“She’s really here,” James stated. “I’m going to be the best big brother to you, Mia,” he stated softly. A tentative finger reached for her head, stroking Mia’s forehead _so_ gently. She stirred at the touch, mouth opening in a yawn once more. “Just you wait and see,” he vowed.

Riza couldn’t have been prouder of her family in that moment.

Rebecca cried as soon as she set eyes on baby Mia.

Both she and Jean had crept into the room reminiscent of a scene Riza had seen in Friends once and she burst out laughing. Equipped with excite eyes and big grins she could tell they just wanted to see the baby rather than her.

“Hello?” Riza grinned. “Can I help you?”

“Hey…” they both greeted in unison. Both sets of eyes immediately found baby Mia.

Jean parked their pram by the door, little Andrew sleeping soundly. He had been born a couple of months ago.

“Oh my god,” she whispered. “She’s so beautiful.” Further crooning ensued as Rebecca lifted the baby into her arms while Jean clapped Roy on the back and congratulated him. A goofy, happy grin was shot Riza’s way too. “What’s her name?”

“Mia.”

“Mia Mustang,” Rebecca repeated back, eyes never leaving her. “Well I’m sorry to tell you kiddo but it looks like you inherited your Dad’s looks.”

“Hey!”

“It’s all downhill from here,” she continued to tease with a goofy smile on her face.

“You can talk, your kid looks like _you_ and that is a tough break as it is.”

Rebecca’s eyes flashed at Roy, who looked decidedly smug.

As they continued to bicker Jean chuckled and approached Riza’s bedside. He kissed the crown of her head in greeting, settling into the chair

“I don’t know how you manage three kids Riza, I really don’t.”

“It is an everyday battle but I make it work.” She yawned, the sound louder than intended. “Just call me superwoman,” she mumbled, eyes fluttering closed.

Just at that moment baby Mia began to cry, effectively ending the childish bickering between Roy and Rebecca. She hushed and bounced Mia in her arms, but it didn’t work. Riza opened her eyes blearily to see Roy itching to take his daughter back from Rebecca. Andrew began to fuss by the door and Rebecca and Havoc both sighed. It was comical how in sync the sound was.

“I guess that’s our signal to go.” Jean heaved himself out of the chair and walked over to his son. “Come on, Becca. Let’s let Riza sleep and get Andrew home. I think he’s due to be changed.”

Rebecca pouted but handed Mia back to Roy. However before leaving Rebecca hugged Riza tightly.

“She is beautiful,” she whispered. Then it was Roy’s turn. “I’m so happy for you both.”

Despite their bickering Rebecca really did love Roy, and vice versa. There was a lot of respect between them and a mutual understanding for how each had helped Riza and James throughout the course of their relationships.

So, as the two left and Riza drifted off she found herself once again very grateful for the hand she had been dealt in life. It hadn’t always been easy. It was an immense struggle from around the ages of eight right into her twenties, but looking around the room it had all be worth it. And she would live through all of that again if it meant ending right back at this spot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just remember joey and phoebe creeping into monica and chandler’s apartment all excited and expecting them to be engaged but they aren’t and it always made me laugh. that’s how I pictured the scene with havoc and rebecca entering riza’s room


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again for the kind words!!! i have been working so i haven't been able to keep up with replies but honestly i love each and every one of you who has offered feedback on my work and not to be dramatic but i would lay my life down for you all

**_James, age 17_ **

“Daddy!”

Roy sighed quietly to himself, closing his eyes briefly as the sound of his daughter’s shrill cry pierced his ears in the car. Steeling himself, Roy backed out of car to move to the backseat.

They were prepping for their annual trip up to the lodge for James’ birthday. He was going to be seventeen and Roy had just finished packing his presents in the car. Before Mia called for his attention he had been hiding his cards in the glove compartment of the car.

He loved that girl to bits, but oh my god. She was a terror.

But in the best way, he supposed.

At three years old she was eager to go anywhere and everywhere, regardless of whether Roy, Riza, or James were looking out of her. If Mia wanted to go somewhere then she was going, there was no stopping her. It caused for a lot worry and stress on Roy’s part, but he couldn’t deny how proud he was of her inquisitive streak. She was always eager to learn. Her questioning was constant. Mia always wanted to know what was going on in the world around her. Bright, interested eyes looked around in wonder every time they went somewhere new.

Not to sound like he was bragging too much, but she was a very smart kid. She had picked up walking and talking a lot sooner than Andrew – Catalina and Havoc’s son. He knew he shouldn’t pit the two kids against each other but he was still very proud of that fact.

“Kids learn things at different ages,” Riza reminded him, trying to keep the peace between Catalina and himself.

“Yeah, but Mia did it _first_ ,” he had whispered back with a grin when Catalina wasn’t paying attention. Riza just rolled her eyes.

What? He was proud of his kid? Was that such a crime?

“Yes, sweetie?”

“I am hungry.”

“I know bear, but we’re almost ready. I need you to be a big brave girl and wait just ten more minutes, okay? Do you think you could try that?”

Big dark eyes blinked back at him. _His eyes_. He grinned before she even answered.

“I’ll try.”

“Thank you, bear.” He kissed to top of her head before beginning to rearrange the car once more.

His pet name for his daughter began shortly after she was born. They had bought a blanket for her with a small brown bear in one corner and it instantly became her favourite. Whenever she had been covered in that blanket she would fall asleep no problem. With any other one she just continued to cry. It had been a nightmare when they had visited Christmas’ one weekend to stay and forgotten it. At three o’clock on Saturday morning Roy tiredly drove to their house to collect it. He was done trying to fight the kid to get her to sleep.

Roy wasn’t sure if it was the material of it that made it so appealing. It was slightly heavier than her other blankets, so it may have something to do with that. Whatever it was, it was a godsend.

As she grew up apparently the bear theme had stuck with her and it was now her favourite animal. She took great pride in running around the house, screaming at the top of her lungs imitating said animal.

Poor James had been trying to study for a test when he finally snapped. He had never seen the kid that irritated before. Granted, it was well justified. Riza had tried to calm Mia down but she was having none of it, so the screeching continued. Roy had tried, nothing. But when Big Brother James entered the room with a _very_ strained look on his face, eyes zeroing in on his little sister, Mia froze in her tracks. Eyes wide with fear, she looked up at her brother. Roy tried not to laugh at the way James’ eye twitched in irritation. Roy had taken to laughing (slightly hysterically) at everything his daughter did because if he didn’t he would probably cry. The dark circles under his eyes confirmed that theory.

“Mia?” James asked through gritted teeth. “Could you please stop playing at being a bear? I am trying to study for a test that I have tomorrow.”

Mia nodded vigorously, eyes wide with fear. Her bear blanket rose to her face as she hugged it tightly to her. Again, trying to stop her from becoming too attached to it failed spectacularly. Both he and Riza had given up by this point.

She looked like she was about to cry and James tried his best to walk back up the stairs to his room calmly. Roy and Riza shared a relieved look.

Mia idolised her big brother. To be perfectly honest, he was the only one she listened to one hundred per cent of the time. She was a good kid and well behaved, but when she got over excited in a case like that one it was always James who would calm her right down with just a look.

“Is James mad at me?” she asked quietly. It was slightly muffled by the blanket in front of her mouth.

Riza gently prised it away. “He’s not mad but he’s trying to work very hard. When you were being too loud like that it made things very hard for him.”

“I didn’t want to make things hard,” she replied earnestly, tears welling in her eyes.

“Well then, you should have listened to us in the first place,” Riza replied sternly. She looked as stressed out as Roy when Mia first started to “be a bear”. She wasn’t used to this. Apparently James was a really quiet kid, and Roy could believe that. Mia was the complete opposite.

While James had been a hurricane of energy, Mia was a tornado of noise and excitement. It wasn’t a bad thing, far from it. She kept her parents on their toes and provided endless entertainment. It was just when it was almost nine o’clock at night and she still was nowhere near ready or calm enough for bed that it hit the hardest.

After that first bear incident things got a little better.

No matter how irritating a toddler could be, apart from that one incident, James always kept his cool and was incredibly patient with Mia. He had definitely kept his promise of being “the best big brother” to her. Both he and Riza were extremely proud of him.

“Ready to go?” Riza asked from outside the car. She had finished filling the car and looked like a vision with her cheeks flushed, scarf hung loose around her neck, and beanie low on her head. Golden hair fell down her torso, shifting slightly in the breeze.

Even to this day Riza took his breath away.

“Ready,” he smiled. Riza gave him an odd look, no doubt noticing the look on his face but she turned away and headed to the driver’s seat. She probably couldn’t be bothered trying to decipher it after their rushed morning and Roy didn’t blame her. Besides, he looked at her like she was the most beautiful and precious thing in the world almost every day. She was used to it by now.

* * *

 

Mia looked around the lodge in wonder as she entered. She wouldn’t have remembered much from last year, she had only been two. Besides, now that she could run fairly confidently without falling over there was so many more opportunities for her to wreak havoc in this big house than there was at home.

She twisted in Riza’s arms to try and look up at the balcony. Last year she had gotten _too_ curious and almost stuck her head through the bars. James had to yank her backwards in a panic and up into the air to stop her. She had just squealed and reached for the wooden posts again, thinking it was a game.

They decided as a team they would keep Mia downstairs to play after that.

“Wow!” she whispered.

“I know. There’s lots of room, isn’t there? A lot more room than at home.”

“Lots of room!” she echoed, clapping her hands.

She was beginning to take after her father more and more every day. She had his almond eyes. They were dark like his and her grandmother’s too. The trait obviously ran in the family. Roy had never really mentioned grandparents, but Riza wondered if they shared the same eyes too. Her dark hair sat just above her shoulders, the way she liked it. Oh, she made Riza well aware of how much she didn’t like long hair. It was straight and spiky, constantly looking dishevelled. Although with the amount of running riot she did, it was no wonder it looked like that. Another trait she took after her father.

Riza saw herself in Mia too. They shared the same face shape and whenever Mia smiled Roy was sure he saw Riza in her. She couldn’t see it herself, but maybe she had been looking too hard. When she wasn’t paying attention, there would be a brief flash of similarities, and it hit her like a jolt of electricity.

At first she had felt slightly disheartened by the lack of similarity between mother and daughter. It was a silly thing to get down about, but she did. James was pretty much a carbon copy of her look wise, save from the freckles that blossomed over his skin in the summer. She had gotten so used to her child looking like her that is was a shock to the system to have Mia not.

However, the fact that she took after Roy so much made her equally as happy. He loved it. That much was clear as day to see on his face. The girl was his pride and joy, no doubt about it.

And James. The boy had been _so_ helpful and understanding these last three years. He had just turned seventeen so Riza expected him to want to go out with his friends all the time after school. However he surprised them both by returning home after school, doing his homework, then playing with Mia until it was her bed time. She supposed that routine she had set him into when he was younger stuck. And he did go out with his friends, but Mia always took top priority.

Riza was so proud to have such a caring son.

Mia was out like a light after only an hour in the car. The first hour there had been a pretty intense game of “eye spy” going on between them all. It ended up being boys versus girls. The girls won, much to the boy’s dismay.

James had followed shortly afterwards and fell asleep. However, his hand had reached across to Mia’s car seat and he gripped her hand tightly while he slept.

“Hey,” Roy attracted her attention softly so he didn’t wake the kids. “Check them out in the back.”

Glancing into the rear view mirror her heart melted.

“Oh my goodness.”

“Cute, right?” he grinned.

“They are so damn cute. What did we do to deserve such perfect kids?” Roy chuckled.

“I don’t know.” A hand reached over and squeezed her knee. “But I can’t imagine my life without them.”

“When can we go and play in the snow Mummy?” Mia asked excitedly. The front door was closed now with all their bags piled in front of it. As per tradition she and James would go skiing tomorrow. Roy had never found the knack for it, but did enjoy his time snowboarding a couple of years ago. He was more than happy to occupy his time playing with Mia instead though.

“Tomorrow, sweetie,” Riza reassured her. She placed Mia on the floor of the living room. The girl clutched her blanket tightly to her chest, hoisting it up so she wouldn’t trip as she ran as fast as her little legs would carry her over to the front window. The soft glow from the room tried to light up the forest beyond the house, but it did little to permeate the gloom between the trees. However, Mia wasn’t interested in that. The moon was full and high enough that it offered some light so she could watch the snow falling.

Hands pressed against the glass, blanket forgotten on the floor, and her nose almost touching the window, she stood enthralled.

“That should keep her quiet for a while,” Riza sighed in relief.

“I think it will. We better get unpacked before she runs off somewhere else. James?” He looked up from reaching to collect his bag. “Could you keep an eye on Mia while we get organised?”

His eyes lit up and he didn’t need to be asked twice. He jogged over and grabbed a cushion from the couch. He plonked down to his sister and the pair watched the snow. Either he was excited to spend time with his sister or he was just happy to be able to miss out on the boring part of unpacking. Riza guessed it was a combination of the two.

Also, as per tradition, Riza left to collect Cretan takeout for dinner. By this point she knew everyone’s order off by heart so there was no need to ask. Even Mia had taken a liking to the clam chowder so she got her own little dish with a side of chips.

They walked to the resort the next morning, continuing the routine James and Riza had set all those years ago. James had started off by helping Mia walk through the snow – her legs were too short to walk properly and she sunk. She James had grasped her under the arms and helped her hop through.

“Like a bunny!” James told her.

“A bunny! Yay!”

That game got boring and tiring pretty quickly so Roy scooped her up to place Mia on his shoulders. The world from that height appeared to be even more thrilling because she refused to come down from her Daddy’s shoulders. She gripped his hair tightly as she twisted around to look into the trees and at the snow. With every pull he grimaced in pain. Of course, she was very enthusiastic so Roy’s hands had lifted and held her legs, anchoring her against him.

When he tried to lift her off she shrieked and pulled his hair tighter. Riza scolded Mia, but she couldn’t help but grin at Roy’s dismayed expression. It wasn’t until she saw the skiers and large snow drift at the resort that she wanted down.

Now that Mia was old enough their ski trip was a different affair all together. Apparently children could begin to learn to ski at the age of three so Riza signed her up to a lesson with an instructor. She would not stop talking to him about everything. The poor guy was trying to teach her the basics but Mia was more interested in what the sticks on her feet were made of so she could go and look for the same kind of sticks in the forest when she was finished.

After the second helpless look from the instructor, James stepped in.

“Mia, if you want to learn you need to concentrate, okay?”

“Conce –” She cut herself off, not understanding the big word her brother had used.

“You need to listen to Stewart.” He was the instructor. “He’s telling you what to do but you aren’t paying attention.”

“I am!” she cried defiantly. Riza held back her chuckle at how her foot tried to stamp, but it couldn’t lift up from the weight of the ski. Roy couldn’t supress it and she elbowed him lightly.

“Don’t encourage her,” she whispered.

He pursed his lips but amusement was clear in her eyes.

“Look, like this.” James set himself up correctly and showed Mia how to stand. She copied him without question while Stewart both encouraged and praised her.

“Your kid is a natural,” the sandy haired instructor told them, moving to stand next to the children’s parents.

“Which one?” Riza asked jokingly.

“Both to be perfectly honest. He has a great knack for teaching. And she has picked up the correct stance immediately. Although I think that has more to do with the teacher,” he chuckled.

“Honestly, she can be such a nightmare when she is somewhere new for the first time,” Riza explained apologetically. “Once she comes often enough she will begin to pay attention. Don’t take it personally.”

He laughed. “I won’t, don’t worry. She’s just curious. There’s nothing wrong with that.” James looked up at the instructor expectantly, ready to move onto the next lesson. Before long Mia was moving by herself down the gradual slope. Her eyes were wide with wonder and excitement.

However, it was short lived when she wobbled and fell backwards. She sat there in the snow and it looked like she was deciding on whether to cry or not. Both parents held their breath, silently begging her to choose not to. However, they weren’t that lucky. She began to wail.

“Come here, bear.” Roy lifted her into his arms once Stewart let her feet loose. “You’re fine.”

“It hurt!” she cried. Roy hugged her to his chest, placing a hand on the back of her head to anchor it in place while he bounced her gently. He looked heavenward and smirked at Riza.

“You just got a fright, that’s all.”

“Yeah! But it hurt!”

“Why don’t you give it another go?”

“No!”

Riza smirked as he winced at the volume of her cry. She had lifted her head as she shouted. It just so happened she was directly in line with his ear.

“You need to give it another try,” Riza tried.

“No!”

“Hey,” Roy scolded lightly. “That’s enough shouting. You’ll be okay. Snow is soft. It was just a little bump.”

“I don’t want to try again.” She rubbed her eyes, wiping the tears all over her face.

“You’ll be fine. Come on, James will go beside you and catch you if you fall.” Her eyes found her brother. She looked slightly doubtful. But Riza knew that look. She didn’t want to but she knew her Dad wouldn’t lie to her and James wouldn’t let her fall if he was beside her. She trusted them completely.

“Okay,” she replied quietly.

A triumphant look crossed Roy’s face and Riza snickered to herself. Her daughter was stubborn but when faced with facts like that, she couldn’t say no.

Sure enough, she went down the kiddie slope and was completely fine. James donned his skis and followed close by, ensuring she would be all right. When she hit the bottom of it Stewart held up his hand for her to high five. She returned it equally enthusiastically as the instructor.

“I did it!” she called to her parents, who had remained at the top. They waved down before beginning their own descent.

Roy sighed in relief. “I’m so glad she didn’t fall.”

“She would never have put on a pair of skis again.”

“She is _such_ a drama queen. Do you think James has been teaching her?”

A wry smile appeared on Riza’s face. “No, that’s all you honey.”

He looked offended but she just laughed.

After the lesson was over Riza and James stayed with Mia for a while. She had taken great delight in standing on top of James’ feet as he skied them both down one of the larger training slopes. She squealed happily the whole way.

“Would you like to try some of the harder slopes, James?”

He considered the request briefly, but shook his head. “I’m okay. I like helping Mia.”

“Okay, if you’re sure.”

Mia squealed once more and she jumped right into a snow drift, sinking up to above her head. Riza felt a jolt go through her and immediately begun to move towards her daughter who had disappeared into the snow, but slowed once she caught Roy by her side. Riza had never seen him move so fast before. With that lunge he might have pulled a hamstring. The look on his face made her giggle then full on laugh a moment later. He was standing with such a deep frown on his face while his arms were outstretched, holding his daughter who, completely obliviously, giggled and reached down to swat the snow off her body playfully.

“Why don’t you take her home?” Riza asked unable to hide her grin.

“I think that might be wise,” Roy agreed sourly. “Otherwise we might lose her in the snow.” Exactly at that moment Mia yawned. “Perfect timing.”

So, while Riza and James headed further up the mountain she left Roy to take their daughter back to the lodge. She shook her head in amusement as he all but stomped off towards the car, Mia still giggling and thinking it was a game while she hung there under Roy’s arm.

Yes, she was definitely a tornado. A tornado of love, happiness, excitement, and curiosity.


	30. Chapter 30

**_James, age 20_**  

Mia laughed as Hayate licked her face after returning his ball to her lap. She threw it for him again as hard as she could. It didn’t travel too far, about halfway down the grass, but Hayate bounded after it nonetheless. Mia clapped happily as he walked back, holding the ball high in the air. He looked really funny so she giggled.

“Well done ‘yate! You are a really good boy!”

Hayate placed the ball down once more and barked, his feet jumping from side to side as he waited for her to throw his ball again.

Grinning, Mia reached out for his head and patted it. His fur was really soft after the bath Mum had given him that morning and that was Mia’s favourite time to pat her dog.

“Shut up!” she heard James yell. Mia jumped in fright, the sudden noise unexpected.

Was James… angry? Her big brother never got angry. He got grumpy in the morning. He told her he needed coffee before he could be happy in the morning – something Dad had laughed at before saying “I guess somethings _do_ change” – but she didn’t get it. Daddy had told her that when James was little he always had a lot of energy and was always moving about. Mia liked to do that too!

But now James didn’t want to play with her in the morning. There were some days when she didn’t even see him _at all_ and that made her really sad. She missed her big brother. He was her best friend and she wanted to play with him. His stupid work kept getting in the way though and that annoyed her. She wanted to play! She wanted to play like they did when she was little.

But James never had time for that anymore.

At least she still had Mummy. Daddy had to work but Mummy didn’t, so that was a good thing! She still missed Daddy though. Her favourite part of the day was when he came home from work. He would bend down and lift her up into a bear hug and she would laugh. James would always smile at her and ruffle her hair. That was annoying! But she let him do it because he was her big brother.

Mia wasn’t sure what this coffee was either. It was just a drink but Mummy, Daddy, _and_ James all had it in the morning with their breakfast. She didn’t see what was so special about it. It smelt funny and it made her feel a little bit sick. However, she did feel a bit proud that she didn’t need to drink it to get lots of energy in the morning. She already had lots of energy when she woke up!

The house went quiet again. Mia looked at her canine friend worriedly, biting her lip. Even Hayate was looking back up the garden towards the open back door.

She didn’t know what to do. She wanted to know if everyone was okay.

“Will we go and take a peak?” Mia whispered to Hayate.

The dog turned to look at her before making his way up to the door. Mia tried to stop him from walking in the house but he just kept going, leaving her alone in the back garden.

“’yate!” she hissed as loudly as she dared. She didn’t want to get caught! However Hayate just kept on walking.

Mia jumped as a door slammed and she heard someone walking up the stairs very loudly. She gasped quietly. They weren’t allowed to slam doors in the house! That was bad!

Mia crept into the kitchen but Mummy and Daddy weren’t there. She straightened up and walked as quietly as she could into the hallway.

She froze when she heard Mummy talking. Oh, she was _really_ angry!

“I can’t _believe_ he said that!”

“Riza…”

Riza? Was that Mummy’s real name? Mia couldn’t remember. She was always Mummy to her. Even Daddy called her “Mum” or “Mummy”.

“Riza, just leave it.”

“No! He has _no_ right! Not after everything you have done.” The room went quiet. Mia didn’t breathe outside the door. “I’m going to go and talk to him.”

Mia was really scared now! If Mummy opened the living room door she would see Mia standing right in front of it listening! Mummy always said it was rude to listen in on other people talking. She would get into trouble! Without thinking Mia darted for the stairs and ran up them as quickly as possible. She was out of breath when she reached the top but the living room door still stayed closed.

She heard Mummy sigh. “Just leave it for now,” Daddy told her. His voice was really quiet so she had to listen extra hard and hold her breath so she could hear him. When she was young, at night when they were usually all together in the living room, Mia would lie against her Daddy and giggle when he talked. She could hear his deep voice right in her ear and she had always loved that. It made her feel safe to know that her Daddy was there, especially when she closed her eyes and couldn’t see him anymore. Even though she was six now she always fought her way onto his lap and sat on the couch with him, her ear against his body as they watched TV together.

“Give him some time to cool off.”

“It’s unacceptable,” Mummy said. Her voice was really low now and she made a funny sound when she spoke. It kind of sounded like the noise Hayate made when he growled then barked. “I won’t have him saying things like that to you.”

“Honestly, love, it’s all right.”

“No it isn’t!” she shouted. Mummy _never_ shouted. Mia suddenly felt very scared. Whatever James had said had made Mummy really mad. He wasn’t allowed to do that! They had made a promise to each other that they wouldn’t make Mummy or Daddy mad and would always do their best to make them proud and happy! It was hard for Mia but she tried her best.

“He said you weren’t his real father and I draw the line at that.” Mia gasped. “We have dealt with this already and… and…”

Was Mummy _crying_?

Clenching her fists by her side Mia turned and glared at James’ bedroom door. It was the one directly across from hers. That was a mean thing to say! Mia felt tears filling her eyes. No, she wouldn’t cry. She needed to speak to James. Right now. 

* * *

 

“James?”  A voice called from outside his bedroom door. He sighed. He didn’t want to speak to anyone. It was childish, he knew that, but he was also ashamed. He had said something very hurtful to Dad and he wasn’t proud of it. It was a dumb comment he made when he was angry. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah, you can come in.”

Mia entered the room cautiously, like she was afraid James would shout at her too. He didn’t think he ever could do that to her. Guilt flooded through him like a wave at seeing the worried look on her face.

He had done that.

 _Shit_.

“Are you okay? I heard you shouting at Daddy.” Her voice was so quiet.

James grimaced. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to hear.”

“So you meant what you said then?” Her voice wobbled and her hands clenched into fists by her side. “Because that was a really mean thing to say!”

Damn, she was too smart for her own good.

“No… I didn’t mean it,” James sighed, resigned. He opened his arms for his little sister. Normally she would run to him right away but she stayed put in the doorway. That hurt. Probably like how Dad was feeling right now. His arms relaxed, falling down. “I was just angry over something stupid.” Shame filled him, heating his cheeks.

­­­­­Mia’s face screwed up. “Then you are going to apologise to him. Right now!”

He jumped as the volume of her voice increased. Mia _never_ shouted. Oh, she screamed as a toddler when she didn’t get her own way but she never shouted like this. And especially not at him.

“And – And you made Mummy cry! So you go and apologise!”

James paled. That was something he had always sworn he would never do. _What had he done?_

“Mia –”

“Now!”

James stood automatically. His palms were sweating. “Okay! I’m going.”

But before he could make it out of his bedroom Mum stormed in angrily. She glared at him which left terror creep into his chest. He had ever made his Mum this angry before. Never really seen her this angry before either.

It was frightening.

Before turning her attention to James, she glanced at her daughter, expression softening. “Mia? Dad would like to see you downstairs, if that’s okay?” His little sister nodded. “Good girl. We will be down soon.”

Mia nodded again and cast one last scowl towards James before leaving his bedroom. Mum waited until she heard the sound of footsteps descending the staircase before rounding on him.

“How _dare_ you say something like that to your father?” she seethed. The force of her anger pushed him back against the chair he had just stood from. He fell back into it.

Well that was just it, wasn’t it? Roy wasn’t really his father. His own father had essentially cast him out without a thought. He didn’t even give James a chance. He had no answers and nothing really to say to James when he had met him all those years ago. The bastard hadn’t even bothered to get into contact with him again.

So, what did that make Roy? Someone who deserved to have that fact thrown back in his face? No. Compared to his father the man was a saint.

“Matt hurt me too, remember?” Mum’s voice was incredibly cold. “He hurt us both. But that does _not_ mean we take it out on other people, _especially_ not those who have done so much for us. Roy selflessly offered to help before we were even together. He protected us without a thought from your grandfather. He sacrificed his own life and happiness so that his father wouldn’t target me or you.”

Shit. He had forgotten about all of that.

 _Fucking idiot_.

“Do I make myself clear?”

James simply nodded, too scared to talk because he knew his voice would fail him.

She was right, of course.

Something he had been mulling over recently was his mother’s role in all of this. She could have hated James because her child was the reason she had been kicked out of her house by Granddad. James was the reason Matt left her. She had been left homeless and scared because of him. An unsettling feeling had pooled into his gut at the revelation, making him wonder if Mum resented him at all.

Growing up he didn’t ever remember her being truly angry with him. In fact, she never really mentioned her childhood or the events before his birth at all. He remembered feeling loved and well taken care of. He never asked for much – he had never really been into toys and things. He had just been happy with his colouring book. But whenever he had asked for something Mum had given it to him. And later on, so had Roy. Without even thinking.

That was where that stupid comment had stemmed from. Those thoughts of resentment towards him were what had started this whole mess. That, and stress. University was slowly sapping at his sanity. He had two years left but he felt ready to throw in the towel for his degree. He was so exhausted all the time and the pressure of his grades were really weighing down on him.

Mum and Dad never pressed him. “As long as you do your best that is all we will ever ask of you” was their motto when it came to him and his studies. It had been the same at high school. But there was his own personal pressure to do well. He wanted to make them proud. He wanted to do well so he could get a good job and be financially stable. If he was able to do that he would finally be able to pay his Mum and Roy back for everything they had done for him.

And that was it, wasn’t it? Roy had done so much for both him and Mum when he met them. He _had_ protected them from Granddad when he threatened to shoot them, just like Mum said. He had made Mum happier than James ever remembered seeing her. Oh, she had always been happy. In front of him. But he starkly remembers waking up in the night to hear her crying alone in her bedroom, or on the phone to Becca.

So why had he thrown the fact that Roy wasn’t his real Dad back in his face?

He groaned at his own stupidity.

“I know…” he answered his mother. Placing his head in his hands, James rested his elbows on his knees. He felt so damn idiotic he didn’t feel like he deserved to face his family right now. He had been cruel, unnecessarily so, to a man who had sacrificed so much for his sake growing up and who had treated him like his own son.

He was surprised by a hand on his shoulder. Jerking his head up he found Mum crouched in front of him, a soft smile on her face. He took in her slightly red, puffy eyes and realised Mia hadn’t been lying. Not that she would. Especially not about something like this.

“I know you get angry. I do to sometimes. But that was really unfair. He has done so much for us –”

“I know,” James interrupted. He swallowed past the lump in his throat as the pressure built behind his eyes. “I know. I didn’t mean to say that he wasn’t my real Dad. He’s the closest thing to one I’ve ever had.” James pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. “I’m just so stressed all the time and I feel so tired. I’m not using it as an excuse. The words just slipped out,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean it.” He swallowed.

“I know, honey.” Mum pulled his head to her shoulder and he buried his face in the fabric of her jumper. It instantly comforted him. He was twenty but he wanted to cling to his mother like he was ten again. Like Mia did when she was upset.

“It ‘s been hard. It always has been. But I just need to look at the people I have around me and realise I wouldn’t change what I went through for the world.” She pulled back to look him in the eye. “I never regretted having you. _Never_.”

He swallowed once more. Was that not exactly what he had been worrying about on top of everything else? Looking into her eyes she could see his mother’s sincerity. Of course, she wouldn’t have lied. But hearing it and seeing it was something else entirely. Until he realised the sincerity of those words were in the way she had treated him every day.

“I’ve always tried to keep you shielded from that part of my past because it became obsolete to me. But I realise that, of course, you would always wonder about your real father and why when Granddad came round he was always angry with me.”

James’ hands clenched into fists at the mention of his grandfather. When he was younger he never fully realised the weight of the situation. He had _shot_ Roy. He had tried to kill his mother. The gravity of it all never fully registered because he was too young to comprehend it. He was glad the bastard was still rotting away in prison.

“And you had every right to wonder about it. I was just so… _done_ with it all. I was finished with it.” Her gaze fell to the floor. “Everything before moving in with Becca and Jean was shoved very deep down inside of me because it hurt too much to even think about, never mind talk about. Nothing else mattered after I had you.”

James fiercely hugged his mother. She rocked backwards with the force, but returned his embrace a moment later. He would make sure no one hurt her ever again.

But he had, hadn’t he? With his stupid comment to Dad.

“You need to go and talk to him.”

James took a shuddering breath, scared at the thought of facing his father again after saying that. He never got angry with James. He only got disappointed and that was worse.

But he would do it. He not only owed it to Mum, but he owed it to Dad even more.

* * *

“Daddy?” Mia called into the living room. Roy jumped at the sudden interruption to his thoughts. Composing himself, he turned around to face his daughter. Instantly he opened his arms to her and Mia ran to him. She was such a daddy’s girl and that honestly warmed his heart.

“What’s up, bear?”

“Are you mad at James?” Her bottom lip wobbled.

“No, I’m not mad, bear.” Roy reassured her.

“But… He was really mean to you!”

“He didn’t say a nice thing, but I’m still not mad.”

“Why?” Big inquisitive eyes looked up at his.

“Because I know he didn’t mean what he said. He’s just been really stressed recently. He was mad and sometimes when people are mad they say things they don’t mean.”

“How do you know James didn’t mean it?” she asked. He smiled down at his daughter.

“Because I’m his Dad and I know these things.”

That seemed to satisfy her curiosity and she lay her head down on his shoulder. She had already forgotten about the fact that James had said that Roy wasn’t his real father. They had tried to be quiet while she was in the garden but James had snapped. No doubt she had heard him. The thought made him sigh heavily.

He hadn’t really expected the outburst be he remembered how stressed out he had been with deadlines when he was university. He had lashed out too with things he didn’t mean only to regret it later. James wasn’t the kind of kid who did lash out anyway so Roy knew he would be down to see him soon. He had asked Riza to let him calm down but Riza refused. Regardless of whether or not this kind of outburst was usual for James, with the look and body language Riza had left the room with, his mother would send him down here in an instant anyway.

Sure enough, Riza entered the room with James in tow. She gestured for Mia and Roy handed her over. She protested to begin with, after sensing being moved, but apparently the pull of going with Riza to find Hayate was too much to resist.

Despite being in his twenties James looked so small before Roy. His shoulders had rounded in on themselves and his eyes were cast down to the floor, afraid to look into Roy’s eyes.

“James,” he coaxed. James tensed but his eyes never lifted. “Look at me,” he urged gently. “I’m not mad.” His gaze lifted slowly, as if he didn’t quite believe Roy. Seeing there was no anger he relaxed slightly.

“You were right. I’m not your real father.” James opened his mouth to protest but Roy held up a hand to stop him. “I have no real right to that title from you. That has to be earned, I know that. But _you_ were the one who gave me it, remember?”

James nodded. “I do,” he mumbled. “I’m sorry.”

Roy sighed. “I know you aren’t angry at me really. I know you are still upset with your Dad.”

“It’s not just that.”

“What is it?”

“It is… everything. Matt, uni, deadlines that I just can’t seem to get on top of… and Jessica.” He added the last part after a beat. _That_ held his interest. The two had been dating for two years and James was head over heels for the girl. They had been best friends since they were five. “She’s going to Drachma for a gap year after the summer.”

Ah. That explained it.

Despite having been only dating for a short time you would think the two were married. They were both in it for the long haul and it had been adorable to watch their relationship blossom and develop.

Roy pulled James into a hug and the boy returned it eagerly. James placed his head on Roy’s shoulder, despite the two men being nearly the same height. It was like he was ten years old again.

“I’m sorry you’re still angry, bud.”

James clutched his t-shirt tighter as Roy spoke the nickname he had given James when he was ten. In truth he would always be “bud” to him. James had declared Roy was his best friend at the age of eight after only knowing him for around six months. The boy would always be his buddy.

“I only wish I could do more for you.”

Roy wrapped his arms tighter around his step son. He hated seeing him so torn up about this still. Even after meeting Matt over ten years ago – although that had not been as enlightening as the boy had hoped – he still harboured all these worries.

The meeting had been revealing for Roy. There were some deep rooted feelings within James regarding his father. He had asked Matt what they had done wrong. He had told his biological father that he knew Matt didn’t love him. That would have been crushing for any child to admit, but James had done it just like that, not thinking twice. The man had been rendered speechless and for that, Roy was grateful. Hopefully it made him realise just how much he had fucked up.

“I understand your situation,” Roy began slowly, thinking back to his own experience with his father. “I get how angry it makes you. I also understand that anger may never go away.”

“Has yours?”

Roy paused. He wasn’t sure if James would know what he was referring to. “Yes.”

Silence reigned.

“How do you manage it?”

“I learned a long time ago to let it go.” The grip on his t-shirt tightened. “Easier said than done, right?” James nodded against him. “And you’re right, it isn’t something that can be done overnight. It took me years of work to get my father behind bars to where he belonged. But even after that I still hated him for what he had done to myself, my mother, even you and Riza. But,” he added, taking a breath. “He’s paying for it now. That’s what I have to remember. And I get to spend day in and day out with the woman I love and two wonderful and brilliant children that I would not trade for _anything_. I could spend my days continuing to hate and hold on to that anger but it would leave me a husk of the man I am. So I hold onto you guys, my family, instead to keep pressing forward.

“Do you remember what I told you all those years ago while driving home from meeting your Dad?”

“Not really, no.”

“I said you could talk to me about it at any time. I don’t think you ever did, which was fine. I wasn’t technically family.” A pang of hurt tore through his chest as he remembered James’ angry face as he told Roy “Whatever, shut up! You aren’t my real Dad anyway”.

“You _are_ family,” James replied fiercely, hands fisting in his t-shirt.

“That’s not what it sounded like an hour ago,” Roy reminded him softly.

James fell silent.

“You _are_ ,” he whispered. “I was being an idiot. I am _so_ sorry. I really didn’t mean it. It doesn’t excuse it, but I have just been really stressed with uni work and I snapped.”

Roy remembered those days well. He smirked when he remembered talking back to Chris only for the woman to smack him very painfully upside the head and order him to clean the toilets of the restaurants twice a day for a month.

“I’ve been there, bud. I get it.” Roy pulled out of their hug and Roy motioned for James to take a seat on the couch next to him. He was ashamed, keeping his eyes cast down to the floor. “But that’s what happens when you don’t talk about things and keep them all bottled up. I don’t know anything about architecture degrees but I do know about university and life. So talk to me. Talk to your Mum. Even if it just to vent about stupid lecturers or lazy people in your group work sessions.” The boy huffed a laugh at that one, like he couldn’t help himself, and Roy smiled.

“I’m sorry,” James whispered. Roy noted how his frame began to shake. “I’m so sorry.” Roy pulled him into a hug once more as he began to sob.

Roy continued to hold him until they eventually subsided, soothing him as he repeated that same phrase over and over again.

“Tell you what,” Roy murmured. “You bring your uni work down to the kitchen table and we’ll work through it. Together.”

“But… You won’t get it.”

“I’ll understand enough. I can help organise files, look through your portfolio, proof read essays… You name it, I’ll do it.”

James pulled away from him, eyes watering. “You would really do that?”

Roy nodded. “Of course. You are my son and I’ll do everything in my power to help you because I know how much third year fucking sucked.” James choked on both his tears and his laugh. “Go on. I’ll get you in the kitchen.”

James nodded and scurried up the stairs. Heaving a sigh, Roy stood and made his way through to the kitchen and begun to clear a space. Riza spotted him out the corner of her eye from the garden. Mia was playing fetch with Hayate, facing away from the house. Roy nodded with a smile at the questioning look in her eye.

They were okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i couldn't resist that last wee bit of angst but enjoy the papa roy moment that stemmed from it :')  
> last chapter is coming next!


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here we are!! i am genuinely so sad this journey has come to an end, i have enjoyed every second and as i was writing this chapter i thought about how i didnt want to stop  
> that being said, i want to do a sort of collection of oneshots to carry on this story to explore more of mia growing up and maybe even go waaay back and explore james growing up with riza, so stay tuned!  
> edit: the sequel is up! its called "I Should Have Stayed With You"

“Happy birthday!”

Roy jumped in fright, blinking into the blinding light of his dining room. Once he fully registered what was going on, he was in shock. The room was filled with his family and friends. All there to celebrate his fiftieth birthday, apparently.

“Happy birthday,” Riza greeted, a grin on her face as she pulled him towards her. She kissed him before wrapping her arms around his neck in an embrace.

“Wh – What?”

“It’s a surprise birthday Dad!” Mia announced from beside her mother. She had her hands on her hips, a bright smile on her face, and eyes shining with excitement and pride.

“Yeah, you only turn fifty once,” James piped up, a mischievous look in his eye and a cheeky grin on his face.

“You all did this? For me?”

Riza removed her arms from his neck, moving to stand by his side and snaking her arm around his back.

“Yep. It was a real team effort,” Mia answered. “Before you get food poisoning, James made the cake.”

“Hey!” he cried indignantly, turning to his sister. “I am an excellent baker.”

“Oh yeah? Do you remember the Great Puking Incident of 2035?”

“That was _one_ time and only because the butter was off! I didn’t realise!”

“Yeah well we all realised it was off pretty quickly after we ate it.”

Mia ran away cackling as James lunged after her. Both parents watched them disappear, amused by their antics.

“He is supposed to be thirty.”

“Yeah, well, that kid has always had too much energy for his own good. Some things never change.” And there their little hurricane and tornado went, setting Hayate off barking as he was disturbed from his old man sleep.

“Come on,” Riza beckoned. “Let’s go and greet everyone.”

He let her tug him around the room but to be perfectly honest his eyes were never far from his wife. Her hair had been cut short. It barely brushed her ears in its pixie cut and it suited her incredibly well. He missed her long hair. His favourite past time was to run his hands through it to relax both her and himself. But as the grey had begun to come into her hair she decided she wanted something more low maintenance. Riza, the always practical, had just come home one day after getting it cut, confused about what all the big fuss was about.

Yep, that was his wonderful wife. The woman who had stolen his heart all those years ago. How long had it been? Riza would glare at him whenever he asked, but he only did it partly to tease her.

Twenty three years they had been together. It had already felt like a lifetime. He was more than ready to live another one with her by his side.

* * *

Riza knew Roy wasn’t entirely paying attention to what everyone was saying. He didn’t mind telling his adoptive siblings that, but she urged him to _please_ at least look interested when greeting people from his work.

“Why, when I have the most important person I want to talk to by my side?”

She knew he was teasing her but she simply smiled through her teeth and elbowed him in the side. He quickly shut up after that.

“Hey man, happy birthday!” Jean greeted, slapping Roy on the shoulder. At least Roy had perked up seeing his old colleague and friend. “How does it feel to know that you are over the hill already?”

Roy just grumbled a response and Riza nudged him when she heard his particularly vulgar choice of words.

“He’s not over the hill,” Riza defended him.

“Oh yeah? Those grey hairs beg to differ.”

“Well I think it makes you look even more handsome,” Riza revealed to her crestfallen husband, brushing a hand through his hair gently. Even at fifty he still went for the same “expertly dishevelled” look. “It makes you look distinguished.”

“ _See_?” Roy sneered playfully at Jean. “At least someone appreciates art.”

Jean choked on his drink – much to Roy’s satisfaction – repeating the word “art” under his breath whereas Riza snorted so hard her nose hurt.

 Becca wasn’t far behind with Andrew and Joe in tow. Upon spotting Mia, Andrew quickly made a bee line for her. Rebecca wasn’t very happy with that.

“Andrew! Come and say hello to Uncle Roy. We are here for his birthday.”

He looked torn but eventually trotted over and bid him a happy birthday.

“Thank you Andrew. Go and see Mia. She has been waiting on you.” His face turned beetroot and he scuttled off while Roy chuckled to himself.

“You are mean,” Riza told him.

“Just stating the obvious.”

“You really think so?” Havoc asked, squinting at the pair of teenagers. “I would have said Mia would be too wild for our Andrew.”

“Too wild?” Roy echoed, suddenly becoming very protective of his daughter.

“Yeah. Andrew is quiet and shy. She is the complete opposite.” Riza huffed in disbelief. Andrew may seem shy and quiet but that boy could be a riot.

“That’s not a bad thing. I mean, just look at those two,” Rebecca stated, gesturing towards Riza and Roy.

“Us two?” Riza echoed, brow furrowing.

“Yeah. Riza is an incredibly smart, talented woman, and Roy is a complete dumbass. Two opposites.”

Riza laughed while Roy simply stared at Rebecca in shock. Oh, it had been a long time since the brunette had called Roy that. That just made it funnier.

“Oh yeah? What about you and Havoc?” Roy asked, starting the bickering portion of the night. Riza rolled her eyes and moved to stand next to Jean while the pair watched their significant other go for each other’s throats. When comments like that were coming from Roy they washed over Jean like water. Apparently he was used to it after all the years on the force. Jean was a captain now of a precinct in Central, same as Roy, but both different areas.

“It looks like some things never change,” Jean chuckled.

“Nope. And I wouldn’t change one minute of it.”

“Neither would I,” he grinned, wrapping an arm around Riza’s shoulder.

* * *

“Hey Mia,” Andrew greeted her shyly. Mia turned, a grin on her face. Andrew was in the same year as her at school. They shared some classes together and he always made her laugh with his quiet, unexpected comments.

He was a shy boy but he was really nice. Not as innocent as his parents or his peers would be led to believe. He would always utter a smart comment quietly so only Mia could hear and it would leave her more often than not choking on her drink or her saliva.

Her favourite was when they went swimming and this older guy came into the pool wearing huge flippers and a snorkel and mask.

“Where does he think he is? The great barrier reef?”

Mia had very loudly snorted and begun to laugh, drawing the attention of everyone nearby. It was spoken so nonchalantly and was so unexpected Mia couldn’t help herself.

Mum always said his behaviour was strange because of what his Mum and Dad were like, but Mia was sure he played on his shy and innocent personality. Mia knew for a fact he did in front of his mother and father. Whenever Mia was around there was always a mischievous look in his eye and he would grin at her, especially after she laughed at whatever he had said. Andrew was a mastermind and she admired him greatly for it.

“Maybe he just says those things to make you laugh,” Mum ventured one Saturday while they were having a girl’s lunch in the city centre. Apparently this was a café she and Aunt Becca used to come to a lot when Mum lived in Central. In fact, that day Mum had taken her past her old apartment building and to the park where she first hung out with Dad.

“What do you mean?” Mia knew exactly what her Mum as getting at. She thought Andrew “liked” her. And that would be fine, Mia had no issue with that. He was a good looking boy. He had his Dad’s blonde hair and Mum’s eyes. A dark grey that always managed to drag her into their depths when they were staring at each for too long.

That had happened a lot recently…

And he always made her laugh.

Mum shot her a pointed look. “I think he likes to hear you laugh.” Her mother knew Mia’s game. The woman could be a nightmare. She never missed a thing.

Mia shrugged. “I like Andrew too. If it happens, it happens. If not well…”

Mum just hid her grin behind her tea cup as Mia thought she didn’t want to think about what would happen if it didn’t work out.

Whatever, talking about those things never bothered Mia. She wasn’t one to get embarrassed when talking about boys. Mum says she got that from her Dad. Apparently he was a bit of a playboy when he was a teenager.

Mia’s face twisted in disbelief at that claim. Dad was completely hopeless and an absolute goofball. There was no way. Plus, he loved Mum so much that he would never even look at another woman. Mia had seen it in action. Some girl had tried – tried was definitely the appropriate word – to flirt with him (failing miserably), despite being out _with his family_ for dinner. Mum didn’t bat an eye. She wasn’t bothered. But Dad just brushed her off and Mia watched with extreme satisfaction as the woman slunk off, embarrassed.

Some people…

They continued on their spontaneous tour of Central, finishing at the park.

“That tree was where he proposed,” Mum told her, a fond smile on her face as she stared at the old oak. Her face took on a faraway look, as if she was reliving that moment. “I haven’t been back here in a long time.”

“Why not?” Mia asked.

Breaking from her trance, Mum turned her attention to her. “Because I took you to the park near our house instead. It wouldn’t have made sense to come back here.” Mia didn’t miss the brief pained look on her face and the deep breath she took before moving Mia along quickly. “It is too far away from home to travel with a toddler.”

What else had happened at this park?

“Do you know what happened at Central Park?” she asked James. He was staying for dinner that night and was currently in his old bedroom. Mum had fussed all morning about getting it ready for him so he had somewhere to work in peace.

James didn’t even look away from what he was typing when he answered. “A lot of things have happened in Central Park.”

Mia groaned and flopped down on his immaculately made bed. He _knew_ that annoyed her. “I mean with Mum and Dad. We went there today and she pointed out that tree where Mum and Dad got engaged. Then she got sad.”

James paused, hands poised in the air, and cocked his head to think. “I know the tree but what –” He froze.

“James?” His hands lowered down to his desk.

“I know what it will be.”

“What?” Mia was almost afraid to find out now.

“That’s… That’s where she met my Dad again for the first time since I was born. My _real_ Dad.”

Sometimes she forgot Dad wasn’t actually James’ real Dad. You would never be able to tell looking at them. They were thick as thieves. Dad had even roped James into golfing with him on the weekends now. They were best friends. When she found out what really happened when James was only little Mia had been really glad Mum had found her Dad. It made her happy now to see how well both he and James got on together.

“Oh.”

James sighed, swivelling in his chair to smile at her. “But that was in the past now. I’m over it.”

“Do you…?”

“Do I still see him?” Mia nodded. “No. I don’t know where he is or what he is doing.” Her eyes flicked down to his lap, where a hand formed into a fist. “He had his chance to explain himself when I met him for the first time. I was only ten, I think. No, eleven. And he didn’t.” James shrugged his shoulders and returned to his laptop. “His loss.”

Mia felt him jump underneath her arms as she hugged him from behind. He chuckled and patted the arms that had wrapped around his neck. “ _Definitely_ his loss,” she reassured her big brother.

“Thanks, Mia.”

“Hey Andrew!” Mia greeted warmly. “How are you?”

“I’m all right,” he shrugged. He grinned her way, his façade dropped. She felt her heart skip a beat as he looked at her that way and a light blush covered her cheeks. 

* * *

 James looked around the room and felt pride surge within him. All these people were here to celebrate Dad’s birthday and he couldn’t be happier with the turnout. Most of the faces he knew, but there were a few he didn’t. A group stood off to the side who apparently worked with Dad. Havoc knew them too, which was pretty cool. The ginger one was the guy who had freaked when Hayate had wandered over. The grey haired dude had tried to calm him down while the younger guy petted Hayate happily. He was getting on a bit in his years. He was ten and completely harmless. He supposed the ginger man just didn’t like dogs.

Mum and Dad made their way around the room to chat to their guests. He couldn’t help but smile as they watched them. They had both been through so much when he was young. Half of it he hadn’t even known about until years afterwards. It hadn’t been easy but they were adamant it had all been worth it. Looking at them both, James definitely believed it.

He thought about his friend’s parents. The small circle he had kept from school, most of their parents were divorced now. But Mum and Dad… there’s was a different kind of love. It had been forged in the midst of pain and emotional suffering and come out stronger than ever. There was no breaking a love like that.

They were meant to be together, no doubt about it.

It reminded him of how he loved Jessica. They had been joined at the hip since they were five. He didn’t remember it properly, but apparently she had “claimed” him on their first day of school. He didn’t need to remember that because he would absolutely believe it.

Speaking of, his lovely wife approached with a grin on her face. Her hair was up in its trademark ponytail. A few wispy bits of her friends dangled to her forehead and James loved to brush them off her face. They had their own news to share today, but wouldn’t do it in front of all Dad’s guests. He wouldn’t want to steal the birthday boy’s thunder after all.

The pair were almost hopping on the spot as the last guests left the party. Only Havoc and Becca remained but James couldn’t wait any longer. Anyway, they were family so it was fine. He did notice Mia and Andrew were sitting suspiciously close to each other. With a grin, he left them to it, happy Mia had found someone like Andrew. He was a good kid.

“Everyone,” he called to the room, trying to catch their attention. “We have an announcement to make.”

Becca gasped and Mum’s mouth popped open in surprise. He hadn’t even told them yet!

“We didn’t want to spoil the part so we’ve waited until now,” Jessica explained further, her excitement showing through her voice and her smile.

“We’re going to have a baby,” they both announced in unison. James squeezed Jessica’s hand tightly as he said it, still not quite believing the news himself.

Dad froze, the fork that was holding a piece of cake poised in mid-air. Said fork went crashing onto the floor, spraying cake everywhere. Hayate made quick work of that. Mum’s eyes filled with tears, a hand rising to cover her mouth in shock. Havoc looked really surprised, but grinned. Becca begun to cry, Mia too.

The first to move was Dad. He all but threw his paper plate onto the floor and stood to embrace James. He found himself being pulled into a bone crushing hug. He laughed, tears pricking his own eyes as Dad said “I am so happy for you, bud.”

Mum was next, her tears falling down her cheeks rapidly. “I’m going to be a gran?” she asked them both in disbelief.

“Yeah,” Jessica answered. Mum let out a happy sob. She hugged James while Dad pulled Jessica into an equally tight and happy hug.

“How… How far along are you?”

“Twelve weeks. We went for the scan today.”

There was more crying and hugs as they made their way around the room. Jessica dug the sonogram photo out from her purse and showed Mia her niece and Mum and Dad their grandchild.

 Everyone here was so happy for them and James honestly couldn’t wait to meet his son.

Yeah.

He had been very lucky in this life.

And he wouldn’t change it for the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so so much to everyone who has followed this i owe you all my life. i know i have said that a lot but i mean it  
> i'd like to thank those who have supported me:  
> worldeater337 for support and help spit balling ideas  
> ruikosakuragi for continued support throughout everything and always offering kind words  
> ltrizas for editing help (if the last four chapters read a lot better, thank lexi) and just being generally awesome  
> caesurables for her fanart of chapter of 16 i DIE every time i see it  
> i am blown away by all these amazing people  
> and thanks to YOU for reading! you the real mvp


End file.
